D&D Bird Alignments

Lawful good- Hummingbirds. Just look at them and tell me they aren’t blessed paladins of all things good. You can’t.

Neutral good- Finches and sparrows. Peepers. Harmless.

Chaotic good- Parrots? Some are nice birbs but the screetches and the bites..

Lawful neutral- Red winged blackbirds. Insect eater, pretty songs but will heck you up if you get too close to their babies.

True neutral- Pigeons. Bob ya head and coo.

Chaotic neutral- POOTOO

Lawful evil- Shrikes. Birds gotta eat.

Neutral evil- Starlings. Fuck you for killing baby birds.

Chaotic evil- GEESE.

Red-winged Buttwad
This blackbird is extremely abundant in North America. So, you probably have already spotted one of these assholes sitting on a cattail, flaunting its gaudy shoulder markings. Territorial and full of themselves, the males make a big deal out of trying to get noticed during breeding season by nasally shrieking their “CONK-ah-SKwEEE” song, over and over, from every damp field and soggy roadside.

The buttwads in northern North America migrate to the southern U.S. – southern, and some lazy western populations, don’t migrate at all. Interestingly, who cares, because they’re already everywhere. Also, during winter, these bastards congregate in flocks as large as several million to eat grains. Nobody needs this. I mean, really. We already have starlings for this shit. 

Identifying the female: Nondescript brown and easily mistaken for, like, a million other drab birds, so, not really worth it.


False Spring

The unseasonably warm February temperatures brought the birds of spring to our backyard. Some Eastern Bluebirds winter in central Ohio, but they don’t search for insects in our yard until spring. A pair of America Robins left the shelter of the woods to check for worms and larvae. The unexpected guest was the Red-winged Blackbird. The is the earliest a Redwing has arrived in the past decade.