A/N: Holy hell
guys ALL OF THE ANGST. I made myself sad writing this. I’m going to go stare at
pictures of Sebastian Stan being a dork to cheer myself up now. Quotes written
in bold are from series 4 of Sherlock. Episode 3, I think? This whole thing was
inspired by the soldiers quote, so thanks Moffat.
“It’s just a routine
Y/N groaned as she slowly started to come around.
“We’ll be in and out,
we just need to get the intel.”
Her first thought was that Thor, for some reason, had hit
her over the head with Mjölnir.
“Buck, you and I will
go inside. Y/N, think you can handle being our lookout?” Steve asked.
The second was that she was definitely not in bed or asleep
on the Quinjet.
“Got it,” she nodded,
a serious look on her face. “You and Bucky will go inside and get the
information. I’ll sit up in a tree, making no noise and pretending I don’t
The third was that her hands were
bound behind her back with a cable tie.
“I’ll be fine, Buck,” Y/N laughed and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I
Sitting up slowly, Y/N assessed her surroundings quietly so
as not to draw attention to herself. She couldn’t see much in the dark cell,
but there was definitely a slumped over mass in the opposite corner of the
“Stay safe, doll.”
The cold, concrete ground was unforgiving beneath her,
making her limbs protest in pain as she got to her feet haphazardly. The only
source of light in the cell came from a tiny window which was too high up for
her to reach while she was tied up. Moonlight trickled in weakly, barely
illuminating the room. Bare, concrete walls boxed her in and a single obscenely
large and heavy-looking metal door kept her trapped.
“Right back at you,
A lightbulb swung above her, propelled by the cool breeze
blowing in through the barred window. She made quick work of removing the tie,
before using her hands to feel the walls carefully, looking for a light switch
as she carefully avoided the body in the corner. She didn’t know if the
individual was dead or alive, but until she found out if they were dangerous it
was best not to wake them. Her fingers stumbled across a bump in the otherwise
smooth wall and she pressed the button hesitantly, only to relax once the light
“Steve!” Y/N dashed over to the figure and checked his
pulse. Sighing in relief as it beat steadily under her fingers, she rolled him
onto his back and shook him gently. “Are you alright?”
“Y/N?” he let out a pained grunt as he pushed himself up
into a sitting position as best as he could with his own tied limbs. “I’m
okay,” he grimaced at his own words and turned his blue eyes to her in worry.
“Fine,” she repeated his words with an unconvincing nod.
“Any clue where we might be?” Steve snapped the cable tie
effortlessly and slumped against a wall before he looked around the bare cell.
Somehow, with the lights on, it looked even more desolate and intimidating.
“Not one.” She tried not to focus on the dark stains on the
walls which could only come from one thing.
“He’s okay. He’s a fighter.”
“I know,” she gave him a small, proud smile before slowly
getting to her feet. “Now, let’s get out of here and find our man.” Steve
forced out a chuckle at her words, but pulled himself to his feet nonetheless
to join her.
Y/N had barely taken a step towards the door before it swung
open soundlessly. Two men walked inside with large guns in their hands,
spurring Steve to stand in front of her protectively. A third followed after he
was given the all-clear, and although Y/N didn’t recognise him, Steve clearly
did considering how much his back stiffened.
“You’re awake! I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been watching
you sleep.” The man grinned at them both, his smile coming across as slightly
psychotic as he gestured to a camera on the upper-hand corner of the room. “I
was afraid my men had hit you a little too hard over the head, Captain. Of
course, I told them to aim for your back, I wouldn’t want to ruin your charming
good looks.” His eyes flickered to Y/N, her small frame half-hidden behind
Steve’s large one. “And you must be Y/N, I’ve heard so much about you.” Peering
around Steve’s shoulder, Y/N looked at the German man stood in front of her. His
sharp facial features looked eerily familiar, but it was the red skin that
covered his face which gave him away.
“Good to see you too, German Voldemort,” she gave him a fake
smile and watched in amusement as his fingers twitched in barely concealed
“Schmidt,” Steve greeted the man in a clipped tone. He was
obviously not pleased to see the man. “I thought you were dead.”
“I merely bided my time, Captain America.”
“How are you alive?”
“You can kill a person, but you can never kill an idea,” he
smirked at Steve before turning his attention to Y/N. “So, fräulein, according
to my men, you’re his boyfriend’s girlfriend,” he pointed at Steve. “Tell me,
are you afraid of committing to a whole super soldier, or are you just a fan of
cripples?” he asked through gritted teeth. He was clearly trying to get a
reaction out of her, but she simply rolled her eyes in response.
“I mean, have you seen
that metal arm of his? It can definitely do things that a regular arm can’t,” Y/N
shot him a smirk. “Trust me.” Steve
tried to nudge her to shut up, but she simply moved her body out of the way in
time and held Schmidt’s gaze. His fists were now clenched in obvious
aggression, which only widened Y/N’s smug grin.
“Bringen sie den Soldaten in,” Red Skull turned to snap at
the guard by the door. They left the room for all of three seconds before
returning, holding up Bucky in between them. He looked like he had been
drugged. He could barely fight back as they yanked him into the room, his feet
dragging across the floor in failed footsteps. Y/N ran forward as they dropped
him to the ground and tapped the super soldier’s cheek anxiously.
“Hey there, doll,” his voice was slurred as he smiled up at
“Hey, Sarge,” she couldn’t help but return the look before
she pulled him to his feet with Steve’s help. “How you doing?”
“They didn’t even ask me any questions.”
“We’re going to play a little game,” Schmidt started to
circle the three of them slowly as he spoke. He held his hand out and one of
the guards handed him a small gun. “The bullets in this gun are special. Upon
impact, the bullet explodes, leaving whoever it hits dead within seconds. I
designed it especially for you, Captain America.”
“So you’re going to shoot me?” Steve scoffed. “That’s your
“Me? No, of course not,” he laughed. “Your best friend is
going to do it.”
“Like hell,” Bucky spat. He stood a little straighter as the
drugs left his system and sent a menacing glare towards the German man. “I’m
not going to shoot Steve.”
“If you would let me finish,” Schmidt sighed as if he was
dealing with a child. “You are going
to take this gun, but you’re not
going to shoot the Captain.” He paused, and a sinister smile spread across his
face. “Well, you could if you wanted to. It’s your choice.” Bucky stepped in
front of Y/N at the same time as Steve. “You see, Soldier. It’s easy, really.
You can either shoot your best friend, or your girlfriend.”
“And what if we don’t want to play your twisted little game,
Jigsaw?” Y/N scoffed as she pushed both men out of the way.
“Then both you and the Captain die,” he said simply. “And
you…the Avengers may have erased all traces of the Soldier from your mind, but
we can always start the process all over again if we need to,” he turned to
“Why are you doing this?” Steve glared at him.
“All these years, Captain America, all this time I’ve been
kept alive by one thing and one thing only. My sheer hatred for you. I care not
for the modern day Hydra and their false prophecies, nor my conquest. All I
care about is my revenge. What better way to exact my revenge than by forcing
your closest friend to either kill you or his lover. Either way, I win, for as
I have come to learn…” He paused to bring a careful hand to the hideous burns
on his face. “Some pains are worse than death.”
“I won’t do it,” Bucky sent the man a murderous stare. “I
won’t kill either of them.”
“You have fifteen minutes to decide, soldier,” Schmidt
turned his back to the three of them briefly. “And just to make sure you don’t
have any funny ideas, I’ll be watching from the next room. My men will keep an
eye on you.” Three more men walked in once Schmidt left, all armed to the
teeth. Under any other circumstance Steve, Bucky and Y/N would have been able
to take the five of them down without a sweat. But the large guns that were
being pointed at them made them reconsider. One of the guards kicked over the
gun Schmidt had dropped and it skidded across the floor and came to a stop in
front of Bucky.
“I’m not doing it,” Bucky repeated, looking between Steve
and Y/N. “I won’t.”
“You can’t let them brainwash you again,” Y/N said quietly.
“So what?” Bucky
whirled around to face her. “You want me to kill you or Steve to save my ass?” he laughed darkly and shook his
“I don’t…” she sighed and looked away from him.
“What if we took them all down?” Steve asked in a hushed
tone, looking at the five guards who were staring them down.
“They’d shoot us before we even took a step towards them,” Y/N
muttered. “And then they would just take Bucky away and brainwash him all over
“I’m growing impatient, soldier,” Schmidt’s voice sounded
through the room, making the three look around in confusion before realising he
more than likely installed a speaker in the room.
“I thought I had fifteen minutes?” he snapped. “Fuck off for
the rest of the thirteen and leave us alone.” There was no response or order
given to shoot them all on the spot. “How are we going to get out of here?” he
lowered his voice considerably and shuffled closer to Steve while wrapping an
arm around Y/N’s waist.
Steve was just as adamant as Y/N that Bucky stayed himself
and wasn’t taken away to be turned back into the soldier. They argued back and
forth about it for a few minutes before Bucky finally caved and the two of them
discussed a game plan, with every scenario failing because of one issue or
another. Y/N remained silent and simply leant against Bucky’s side to steal
some of his warmth. Her mind was going at a mile a minute as she tried to
figure out a strategy of her own. She wasn’t optimistic about the outcome of
the situation they had been placed in. She knew there were only two outcomes.
Either she or Steve died and Bucky left with the remaining person, or they both
died and Bucky would be taken, brainwashed and tortured into being the Winter
“Time is running out, Solider. You have seven minutes.”
“Thanks for the countdown,” Bucky growled. Schmidt chuckled
through the comm, a sound which made Y/N shiver in repulsion. Bucky held her
closer, his hand running up and down her side in hopes of comforting her.
“Don’t worry, doll,” his lips brushed the top of her head gently. “We’re all
getting out of here. Alive.” She tried to smile and nod to show she believed
him, but it came out as a grimace. He simply gave her an apologetic look before
turning back to Steve to figure out an escape route.
“You have five minutes to shoot someone. Are you going to
pick, or shall I?” Schmidt asked.
“Fuck off,” Bucky
“Pick one, soldier.”
“I won’t,” Bucky’s
hand shook in concealed rage as he stared at the floor. “You can’t make me.”
“If you don’t choose
then I will make the choice for you,”
he snapped. “Now tell me, your best friend, or your girlfriend?”
“Shut up Steve,” he practically growled. “Don’t you dare
cave in and try to give me that speech. It’s my choice and I will not choose.”
“Guards?” The men standing in the room stepped forward and
knocked Y/N and Steve to the ground forcefully.
“Ah.” The barrel of a gun was pressed to the back of both of
their heads. “One more step and they both die.” Y/N looked at Steve from the
corner of her eye and received a failed attempt of a reassuring smile in
“Why?! Why are you making me do this?” Bucky yelled, spinning
around to face a man that wasn’t there.
“Isn’t it obvious? I want to see who you’ll choose. The man
who’s been your best friend for almost a century, or the girl whom you’re in
love with.” Bucky’s eyes slide over to look at you and Steve helplessly.
“Y/N, don’t you –”
“Shut up,” she looked over at him. “Just shut up. I’m not
letting you do this alone. Shut up
and let me help you for once.” He held her glare for a couple of second before
they were interrupted once more.
“Let them stand.” They rose to their feet slowly, bodies on
full alert as they looked at the guards that surrounded them. “I wouldn’t do
anything stupid if I were you, Captain America. I still have guns aimed at all
three of you.”
“Hey there, Sarge,” she tried to send Bucky a reassuring
“Y/N…” his voice cracked as he watched her carefully with
“You’re not going to like what I have to say –”
“And you’re going to want to fight me on it,” she continued
as if he hadn’t spoken. “You both are. But you got to pick me, Buck.”
“No,” Steve cut
in. “I’m a century old, I’ve passed my date. You and Y/N have just found each
other. You deserve a chance to be happy.” Bucky watched them both in silent
rage as Y/N took a hesitant step forward towards him. When Schmidt and his
guards didn’t make a move to stop her, she took another.
“You and Steve are best friends. You need each other.”
“I need both of you,” he rasped.
“You don’t need me that much, not like him,” she shook your
head sadly and took another step. “It’s got to be me. You need to be soldiers, boys, andthat means to hell with what happens to
“Tick, tock, solider,” Schmidt said, eyes gleaming as he
watched the three of them in amusement. Steve tried to step forward and started
to sprout all sorts of reasons why Bucky should kill him, but Y/N didn’t let
him get very far.
“Hey, look at me,” she ran her fingers over his jaw and
smiled weakly. “Let me see those pretty eyes of yours one last time, Sarge.”
Tears ran down his face and she was quick to wipe them away. “You know how I
feel about being sappy, but considering the circumstances I think I can let it
slide this one time.” His hand came up to wipe away a few of her own tears, a
protest already bubbling on his lips. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made
me these past couple of months.”
“Sh, it’s my turn now. You’re a good man, James Barnes. The
best I know, including old mama Steve. I just want you to know that. Winter
Solider or not. I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world and I just
wanted to thank you for letting me get to know you.”
“I can’t.” He almost sobbed as she brought the gun up and
held it to her stomach. “Please, doll, don’t make me.”
“Steve needs you, Buck.”
“I need you. I love you.” He wiped at his eyes angrily and
pulled her in for a hard kiss. “I love you.”
“I know,” Y/N bit back a fresh wave of tears and kissed him
back. “I know and I’m so sorry Buck but there isn’t any other choice. You can’t
kill Steve. You need him more, whether you know it or not. Until the end of the
line, remember? And anyway, the world isn’t quite finished with Captain
“Fuck the world! I can’t lose you. Either of you.”
“You won’t,” she tangled her fingers in his hair. “I’ll be
right there with you. Forever and always.” She placed his shaking finger on the
trigger before flicking the safety off. “But you need to do this.” She took in
a shaky breath and looked away from Bucky for two seconds to the man behind her.
“Y/N, you can’t –”
“Stop wrecking my moment, Rogers. You know I like to be
dramatic.” She tried to lighten up the situation to no avail. “You need to take
care of him, you hear me? If you don’t look after him properly I’m going to
resurrect myself just so I can kill you. Promise me you’ll take care of him
“Promise me or
I’ll knock you out so that you will stop fighting me on this!”
“And tell everyone else on the team that I’m sorry – so sorry – and they’re the best family I
could ever ask for. And hug Wanda tight for me. She’ll need someone after I’m
gone. Got it?”
nodded, tears falling down his own face.
“And you,” Y/N turned back to Bucky. “Don’t beat yourself up
over this. It was my choice, not
yours. I don’t want you to wallow and mourn over me for the rest of your life.
Get yourself out there. Be happy. Move on.” She pecked him once more. “Well,
give it a couple months before you date anyone else, but promise me you’ll try
to be happy.”
“Bucky, please,” she
closed her E/C eyes as tears cascaded down her face. “Don’t make this harder
than it needs to be.”
“You’re making me kill
you. And don’t you dare try and tell me it’s for the greater good.”
“Utilitarianism then,” she swallowed thickly. “The greatest
pleasure for the greatest number.”
“No one will be happy if you’re dead.”
“But they sure as hell will be fewer unhappy people than if Captain America died. Or all three of
us. The whole world will be at stake then.”
“I don’t care. At least you would still be with me.”
“I’m getting bored with how long this is taking,” Schmidt
tsked in annoyance. “Are you going to kill one of them or do I have to decide?”
“I really don’t care about antagonising you right now, Red
Skull, so shut the fuck up, we are trying to have a moment to say goodbye over
here,” she looked up at the ceiling and all but growled at him. They could all
picture him flaring in anger at her words, but no one made a move to shoot
which prompted her to look back down at the beautiful, emotionally wrecked man
in front of her. “Look at me. It sucks.
It fucking sucks so bad, but you need to do this, Buck.” She held his hand more
securely around and gun.
“If you’re going out then I’m going out with you,” he leant
down so his face was levelled with hers.
“That’s not part of the deal, Sarge,” she smiled weakly and
shook her head. “Pull the trigger.”
“I can’t.” He shook his head violently. “I won’t.” Y/N
wrapped her hand around his wrist and pressed the gun firmly to her skin.
Wiping her tear-stained eyes on her shoulder, she leant up to kiss him one last
time as they both squeezed the trigger.