i’m so scared to start my new job. excited but scared. it’s definitely the most professional job i’ve ever had and since i’ll be in the administration department i’ve gotta be tip-top. my boss is this older, very elegant, french canadian woman. she’s vegetarian and so polished that i felt kinda gross near her. she wears a dress every day so i think i probably should to (which isn’t a problem cos i hate pants). so I’m gonna try to get a haircut friday bc my hair is absolutely wild, and I’m getting a facial and a manicure on monday and i might get my brows tinted cos now that i don’t work in cosmetics anymore i don’t wanna have to do my whole face anymore in the mornings and now i need to get used to my regular face bc it’d be frowned upon at my new job to have like a cat eye and red eyeshadow on.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.