red goblin

Now, as many of you know, Spider-Man canonically has radioactive semen that can give you cancer.

While there are plenty of exciting discussions to be had about what this implies about Peter Parker’s overall anatomy, that’s not what I want to talk about today. What I want to talk about is Tumblr’s newest sexyman, Venom.

Now technically, unlike Spider-Man, Venom doesn’t have any inherent superpowers, everything comes from the symbiote. But since Eddie Brock doesn’t usually have a giant ear to ear maw, we can assume that the symbiote does change his physiology, if only temporarily.

So, what does this imply about Venom’s sperm?

If Venom were to rawdog someone, would they have a symbiote? If they became pregnant would their infant be host to a symbiote? These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

Carnage only further complicates matters. His red coloration comes from the fact that the symbiote literally acts as blood for the host. Forget sex, if we’ve got symbiotes replacing body fluids, can Carnage even beat his meat without birthing a white symbiote? Is that where Anti-Venom’s costume came from?

I don’t know! But, since the average Tumblr user is a scholar of monster jizz, I hope to learn soon. Thank you, and God bless you all.


With Venom #1 (LGY #166) releasing on May 9th, we have numerous variants that will be made available.

  1. Variant by Mike Mayhem (The Amazing Spider-Man #300 homage)
  2. Variant by Whilce Portacio (The Amazing Spider-Man #50 homage)
  3. Variant by Skan
  4. Variant by J. Scott Campbell
  5. Variant by Francesco Mattina
  6. Variant by Francesco Mattina and Will Silney
  7. Remastered Todd McFarlane variant
  8. Variant by Tyler Kirkham
  9. Young Guns variant by Aaron Kuder
  10. Variant by Lucio Parrillo

Coming this April:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #799 DAN SLOTT (W) • STUART IMMONEN (A) Cover by ALEX ROSS CONNECTING VARIANT COVER BY HUMBERTO RAMOS (3 OF 5) VARIANT COVER BY ED MCGUINNESS GO DOWN SWINGING Part 3 • SPIDER-MAN will need to the help of friend and foe alike if he hopes to stop THE GREEN GOBLIN this time! • The mystery of the RED GOBLIN is finally revealed, and it’s not going to be pretty for Peter Parker! 32 PGS./Rated T …$3.99