red white and some green

This is late but I hope everyone had a happy Easter!

I was imagining this as…like Goku was asked to be the Easter Bunny and hide chocolate eggs for the little kids, and while he did that he’d also sample some.

When confronted he’d reply, “but I am children?”

Clearly this is the Goku who’s being raised by Gen. Also ignore the fact that the egg is super big? Goku deserves giant chocolate eggs.


ng time no see, boners
So cooking for a living is really doing a number on my recipe blogging and anime watching, but nothing could stop me from watching the literal FUCKIN masterpiece that is Yuri on Ice

Now, while you dicknuggets may not be able to embody the sexual grace of a katsudon as well as Yuri, you can at least make a sexy katsudon whilst crying and belting out the theme song in your bedroom 2 hours before you have to go make fancy bread for all the fancy mofos that feel like dropping 3+ hundos on a meal that involves your fancy bread hahaha what that’s definitely not how I spent last night idk what you’re talking about fuckjcxz,,,

Whatever here’s the recipe

-2 pork cutlets
-panko bread crumbs
- 2 eggs for egg wash 
-canola oil
-this shits definitely already on my blog. Like to my first post. Steal that shit from there man, use that tonkatsu recipe to complete this fine ass Katsudon

The whole thang-
-the two breaded cooked pork thingies
-Japanese style rice (I have the recipe somewhere on this blog, check that shit out, fam) about 2.5 cups worth
- tonkatsu sauce (also on my blog, but I recommend using brown sugar instead of regular sugar, shit tastes wayyy more cash money)
-kewpie mayo
-green onions, chopped, whites and greens separated
-a few handfuls of red cabbage
-minced garlic and ginger (however much suits your taste)
-2 eggs, whisked with soy sauce/tamari and sesame oil to taste

-Now in order to put it all together, get your rice down and drizzle that tonkatsu sauce and kewpie all over that bitch. Bukkake on that rice like you’re paying $4/hr for its delicious short grained company

- sweat the white part of the green onion and the shredded red cabbage in some sesame oil, once its nearly there (light bite to it, not mushy but definitely a bit softer), add the soy sauce and toss

-add your tonkatsu, allow that to soak in them sweet sweet veggie juices

-lower the heat in the pan from med-high to low, take your whisked eggs with soy sauce and pour over the delightful pile of meat and healthy shit. Get that shit lightly coated and then cover and allow the eggs to cook using the residual heat and the steam, any more heat and you risk over cooking the eggs and making them all nasty and rubbery

-once ready, slide over on top of the rice and drizzle with more tonkatsu sauce. Top with the green part of the green onions, a dollop on kewpie and a little Dijon for that tiny kick


Now go, be one with this katsudon, allow it to take your breath away. Let it be the yuri to your victor. I’m so tired but I’m probably still gonna drink a lot and rewatch this because I have no sense of responsibility or shame.

And yes, I will be having katsudon leftovers while I rewatch yuri on ice, fuck you I need this

Later fuckbuckets


Cover of The May Queen and other poems by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Rubricated and illuminated.
Colophon: “This manuscript, selected poems of Alfred Lord Tennyson, The May Queen, The sea fairies,The beggar maid, Hero to Leander, and Dora was designed, written out, and illuminated by Alberto Sangorski for Messrs. R. Rivière & Son bookbinders & booksellers to H.M. King George V. London. This manuscript will not be duplicated. This manuscript was executed by me [signed] Alberto Sangorski London A.D. 1912.”– P. [63]
“The miniature illustrating the poem of The beggar maid was taken from the painting done by Sir Edward Burne-Jones in the Tate Gallery London. The miniature illustrating the poem of Hero to Leanderwas taken from the painting done by Lord Leighton, P.R.A. The miniature in the title page of Lord Tennyson was taken from the painting by Sir Hubert Herkomer, R.A. (and is copyright)”– P. [65]
Miniature of Tennyson, three miniatures of the May Queen, miniature of the Beggar Maid, miniature of Hero, two miniatures of Dora are initial-signed by Sangorski, and some are dated 1912.
Full blue morocco, inlaid and gilt in an over-all design with semi-precious stones and seed pearls, mounted on upper cover. Beige morocco doublures, inlaid with red, white and green morocco and gilt. Silk protective guards interleaved between some pages. All edges gilt. Stamp-signed on upper doublure: “Bound by Riviere & Son”. In silk-lined green morocco folding case.

  • Courtesy of Rare Book Collection, Detroit Public Library

anonymous asked:

How do you make your scars for your rps?

cautions and warnings:

- gelatin hurts like a bitch when you pull it off your face, and might wax some of your face hair

- please dear god don’t burn yourself

- back to the face ones, trying to eat with these on is a strange experience bcus the gelatin pulls at your face a little.

- i don’t know what i’m doing

- i am not qualified at all

greAT. lets get started!


- gelatine (if you have liquid latex use that, i’m just cheap as hell and can’t afford it oops.)

- some ‘q-tips’ as you americans call them - one of which is cut in half bear with me

- a stirring utensil of some sort. use a popsicle, a fork, a spoon - it doesn’t really matter.

- boiling water (dont burn yourself)

- eye shadow (bruise-y and scar-y colours like reds, blues, whites, browns, greens etc.)

- maybe like some foundation or concealer or something idk

- stuff to apply the eye shadow and concealer/foundation (brushes, a makeup sponge, etc. etc.)

- a lil container of some sort


prepare your gelatin! (it is also good to note that now is a good time to put a base layer of a colour down where you want your scar to be but… im an idiot so i haven’t done that)

boil up some trusty water and pour a teensy bit into the container. pour some gelatin in and fiddle around with it until it looks about right and has a reasonable consistency. keep guessing until it looks about right.

you could alternatively measure out two teaspoons of gelatin and a couple teaspoons of water but im an idiot so…. guessing is the way to go!


wait for the damn thing to cool you animal - you dont want to give ur friend or yourself a burn - continuing to stir it so that it wont set

if its at a temperature that wont end in injury ((im watching u)) use one of the q-tips or a popsicle stick to apply the gelatin to wherever you’re putting the scar.

i chose to put it on my arm. once you spread it wherever it needs to be, in whatever shape you want, you can do the following to your new scar:

- put some more of the cooling gelatin on the gelatin on your arm to build it up and add clumps of skin gross

- take the q-tip you cut in half (or just one cotton ball end works too) and drag a line through the center of your scar. this makes it look like the gelatin is skin flapping up around the wound double gross

- i haven’t done it here but if you make some thicker gelatin you can put food colouring in it and make it look like a blood clot (the same person who taught me this did a third degree burn on my friend and she used it for blood clots and pus and honestly it was the most fascinating/disgusting thing ive ever seen)


use a makeup/regular sponge (or a brush but a sponge works best) and sponge on your first base colour until it looks like this:

and you might be thinking - kiera, that doesn’t look like a scar, that looks like a disease! to which i say - im trying okay, bear with me.


grab your eyeshadows etc and go crazy. generally just fiddle with what youve got until it looks right but i think i used foundation when i got too ham with the bruising and for the center of the scar to give it a flesh-y look.

The center is where your scar/wound is so i tend to make that more red/white, sometimes using some white eyeliner (or some highlight if you wanna go there) to make it look lighter. 

you can add some greenier colours around where the gelatin begins around the center is you want it to look a little more infected. on the gelatin bits you want kind of reddish, brownish tones so it looks like disturbed flesh ew and around the edges and outside you want the bruise-y tones of blue, purple, green, red etc or browns if you want it to look a little older.

You can also put yellows and foundation/concealer anywhere you want to look like it has puss in it so there’s that. mine ended up looking like this:

each time you do it it ends up a little different and you learn new things. in the photo above the gelatin could be a little thinner. However when the gelatin started peeling up a little it works to its advantage as it make its look as if chunks of my skin are coming off which is nice.

its really a matter of experimenting with it and at some point they might end up looking half alright like these ones did:


as said previously i dont know what im doing and am 100% not an expert. the only reason i know this is because last day of term in a whirlwind of being braindead an english teacher took pity on us and taught us the basics of making wounds.

apparently she used to teach special effects in a proper school for it??? it was pretty cool so i hope you enjoyed my horrific rendition or teaching you something that she taught me.


Good Luck Knot Magic

A super fast knot spell for good luck.

  1. Find yourself some red, white, yellow/gold, blue, and green string (or ribbon, yarn, embroidery thread, whatever). 
  2. Cut them into about 10 inch pieces. Ideally, the string should wrap around your wrist or ankle plus 2-3 inches, depending on the thickness of your knotting material. So 10 inches might be too much. Try to overestimate rather than underestimate.
  3. Hold the threads together and make a knot with all of them saying/thinking/etc. “With this knot the spell’s begun”
  4. Make a knot in the red string. “This knot is for luck.”
  5. Make a knot in the yellow/gold string. “This knot is for wealth and prosperity.”
  6. Make a knot in the blue string “This knot is for protection”
  7. Make a knot in the green string. “This knot is for growth.”
  8. Make a knot in the white string. “This knot is for preservation.”
  9. Knot all the threads together. “And this knot is to bring it all together and bring this lucky boon to me.”
  10. Then tie the cord around your wrist or ankle. Or you can carry it with you.

Ideally, you should be envisioning your intent while doing the spell but I’ve done this spell drunk at a bar with zero envisioning and only white packing twine and it worked great. 

ideal: having custom dice bags with personalised dice sets for all my characters


Then while we’re being cannon fodder for snobs like you. Judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain’t got much choice, you get me? And if we’d be born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we’d do just as well as you. If not better.


Notes: First Christmas for the boys, fond memories and ugly sweaters

((Well since Christmas is coming up I decided to get a gift made for my lovely partner in crime featuring the amazing Hippano’s fantastic art. And a reminder we are publishing this one out of order. We hope that you enjoy it! Merry Christmas and thanks to Hippano ( for her fantastic art!)) It can also be found here!

After the success of thanksgiving. Jim really shouldn’t have been surprised when the invitation showed up and was accepted easily. He didn’t think twice when the package arrived and he brought it inside and set it down on the table for Sebastian to see when he arrived.

“Please tell me that isn’t from my aunt.” Sebastian said making a face.

“It is..what’s wrong?” Jim asked looking up from his book.

“You’ll see.” Sebastian replied as he opened the box and trying not to grimace as he undid the tape and pulled it open. The look of fear and horror came over his face as he pulled what Jim could clearly tell was some knitted item out of the box. It took a moment to realize it was a ugly red and a dark grey with some green and white christmas least he thought it was suppose to be.

“That is..I mean it’s..she..nice?” Jim said trying not to laugh. “It will look so good on you.”

“So will yours.” Sebastian replied making Jim let his jaw drop as he pulled out a second jumper smaller and clearly meant for Jim That was green and white with a bit of was just as ugly..if not more so..

“Oh no no.”

“Sorry Jimmy family tradition.”  Sebastian replied with a slightly evil smirk as Jim made a face. “Don’t worry Rina and Mum have to wear one too,,Rina’s will match mine and I’m sure Mum and you will match..”

“That’ are kidding.”

“Nope.” Sebastian snickered and Jim just glared rolling his eyes.

“” Jim said returning to his book as Sebastian just folded them back up and closed the box putting it aside. Planning on not looking at it again until the day he had to wear it.


The box was soon forgotten until the day before Christmas when Sebastian opened it up and pulled them out. It took him a moment but he realized something was different about it. He held it up and looked at it before his eyes went wide and he glanced over at Jim who was sipping some of the hot chocolate that Katy had brought for them to warm up since it was cold. The raining snow soaking through their normal clothes when they had arrived earlier..  

“You did..didn’t..I mean.” Sebastian said looking over at Jim who gave him a smirk.

“Do you like it?” Jim asked

“I can’t believe.. I mean it..” Sebastian got out before he started laughing hard.

“They won’t notice..unless they look closely..and we both know that they won’t..well Katy and Rina will, Ella I know will the moment she sees it, your aunt and cousins not so much.” Jim said with a smile as he set back in the chair with a wide smile.


It was an hour later that both boys were down stairs wearing the jumpers. Sabrina had hers but had done something completely different. It had been funny according to Katy having got theirs only a few days before. Rina has spent all the night before up and Jim knew she hadn’t had anyone with her despite the random muttering he could hear from her room when he passed it to go to the kitchen for a snack in the evening and then Sebastian confirming she was still doing it later when he went down for something to drink. Though what she did was surprising and funny to all as she had stuffed a pillow into it and some stuffing in the arms so she could have it hanging off of her like it was a person leaning on her and wrapping their arm around her shoulder. The party was interesting she was going around introducing it as her boyfriend much to everyone’s but the cousins amusement.

“Aunt Maureen.” Sebastian greeted with a smile the elderly woman returned the smile before she let out a sigh. Finally understanding why her sisters and niece had been giggling every time they saw the boys.

“I see you two are enjoying your presents.” She said unable to stop a small smile from coming to her lips as Jim joined the other leaning against Sebastian briefly.”Your handy work dear?” she asked Jim who gave her a small sheepish smile. “I’d ask where you got the idea but I think I’d rather not know..I admit you are very talented.”

“thank you.”  Jim said softly with a shy smile. He had been only a bit worried about how the other would react to his unknitting her work and reknitting it to a more amusing set of patterns.  

“Send me a copy of the patterns please..that way next year I might be able to add them in.,” She added sipping her drink leaving a slightly confused and stunned boys. Jim finally broke it with a giggle.

“She, your mum and Aunt Ella are an interesting set.” Jim said

“Interesting is one way to put it.” Sebastian laughed smiling down at his boyfriend

“Oh boys! Mistletoe!” Rina shouted after a moment before a flash went off.


Twenty years later while unpacking the Christmas stuff to decorate the flat, both of them were arguing over the tree while Hope and Bri were going through a box of stuff. Sabrina and Maggie were in the kitchen making snacks while a freezing rainy snow pounded against the window making the Moran twins remember that first one that Jim went to. They’d all been going through the boxes they had gathered over the years and still there were many more to open.

“Oh my gods.” Bri shouted catching not only her parents attention but her aunts, as she and Hope dissolved into laughter.

“’s so ugly!” she shrieked before she pulled out the same jumper Sebastian had wore that first Christmas together. Hope was still trying to catch her breath as she pulled out Jim’s jumper as well.

“I thought we burned those.” Sebastian muttered as Bri pulled his on while Hope did the same with Jim’s before dissolving into laughter again.

“We tried they are flame resistant.” Jim muttered unable to stop the snort at the girls who were still laughing.

“We even tried shrinking them.” Rina added. “Gods I forgot how ugly those things were…though Jim did make improvements to them.”

“Of course James used his dark powers to make them ugly forever.” Maggie added in making both Rina and Sebastian stare at her. “Yes?”

“You made a joke..” Seb pointed out

“I am capable of it.” Maggie said with a pout that made Rina chuckle and kiss her cheek.

Everyone (but Hope who shared her cousin’s mischievous smile) missed Bri slipping a photo into her pocket as the adults started to chat over some of their memories.


It was several days later almost a week before Christmas before a package arrived no one really paid attention to it when Bri whisked it off to her room. It was noticed however when a new painting appeared besides her parents last few done by their friend Pani the day before Christmas.

“She didn’t.” Sebastian said when he saw Jim glaring at it for a moment but was trying to not smile.

“Pani is never going to let us forget it.” Jim said as he stepped aside to let his husband see the painting that had been done of a old photo. It was the one that had been taken that night. A vague memory of Rina shouting mistletoe before a flash going off. “Then again..I never want to was my first real Christmas since..well a long time.” he said leaning up to kiss his husband before a shout of ‘mistletoe’ was heard from their daughter, making both of them snapping their heads towards her  before being temporarily blinded as a camera flash went off.

Bri looked down at the camera a smile on her face. “Well at least your surprised face never changes.” she teased before taking off at a small run with Sebastian following her shouting as he chased her down the hall while Jim just shook his head with a smile

“Brigid Erin Moriarty Moran get back here with that camera right now!”

The responding laughter from his daughter made him look at the picture again the smile just a bit wider..and wider still later in the evening when he found both Hope and Bri wearing the jumpers along with Sabrina’s sweater boyfriend (with a bit of patchwork from Maggie) between the two dozed out on the couch.

“Hey Jim..mistletoe.” Sebastian said pointing up to the plant hanging above their head.

“Mistletoe.” JIm replied before he kissed him.


Here’s my travel altar finally! There are tea candles and one long candle -all white-, a dry rose, dry lavender, a white pouch, several chalks (blue, green, red, white and yellow), lavender essential oil, some plants to burn for harmony, family protection, divination, black paint, coffee, cinnamon and incense.

Thanks to @wykkedisis @thewitchmysteries @glomstoner-the-eccentric @stormwaterwitch and @tieras

mermaidskelton  asked:

Hi! I would consider myself a newbie towards Mac, I only know a few songs and I watched one of his documentaries. What are the basics I should know about Mac? Have a great day/night!

[Copied this from a previous post]

umm heres my best Mac Demarco for Dummies Sparknotes whatever list….

Things Mac loves:

-The Simpsons

-Elton John

-Viceroy cigerettes

-Probably goodwill

Signature Looks:

-5 panel hats


-More Denim

-Overalls (specifically black, cameo, and tan)

-Gapped front teeth

-Button up shirts

-White tube socks

-Red vans

-Usually wears the colors dark green, some shade of blue, white, and red

Things to know:

-His girlfriend’s name is Kiki

-The weird faces he makes (*see instagram for reference)

-His instagram is @macdemarco

The Wrong Alice // Counterglow

I // II // III // IV // V

// the continued collab with @hitchhikingbabeh //

The sun is abhorrently bright and hot when you come back to, but you hear Jongdae breathe out a sigh of relief and it makes you smile, mostly because you’re wondering why his face is donned with so much concern.

As you blink yourself to the present, you start to remember Absolem’s Antre.

The darkness, the cold, the smoke.

The boy, his voice, the kiss…

Keep reading

Countdown to Winter Holidays: Day 3 (Yixing)

I really love Yixing. Especially after the live V app broadcast for Sing For You. Anyways, enjoy day 3 of the Winter Holiday countdown <3

Based off I’ll Be Home For Christmas by Bing Crosby

-Admin Kat

[Day 1], [Day 2][Day 4],  [Day 5]

Originally posted by wealthyteethchanyeol

The time on the oven when off, blaring loudly as you rushed to it. You pulled open the oven door and saw the perfectly baked cake that you had been slaving over for hours. You pulled it out of the oven carefully and let it sit to cool. You were so excited. This was the first Christmas you would be spending with your boyfriend, Yixing, and you wanted it to be absolutely perfect. You had been getting ready for tonight all week. You cleaned the entire house, making sure that there was not a single speck of dust. Decorated almost every room so it was filled with season’s greetings. And cooked an entire feast that could feed ten people.

Keep reading


Simplistic and Artistic Starters!

I was inspired by some pokemon fan art I saw a while back, among others, to do a very simplified version of the starters where I did not do /any/ color mixing, only using up to 4 of the white/black/red/yellow/blue/green color schemes to create some adorable like pokemon animations! (Well. aside from blushes and Squirtles bubble gum, lol)

I would have to say Bulbasaur’s design and Charmander’s sneeze, and Pikachu’s … uh.. Fork thing… hehe..  are among my top two favorites here <3 

I wasn’t going for anything over the top at all, but I think these turned out great!

Requested by 2goldensnitches

Is Voltorb the Frankenstein’s Monster of the Pokémon universe? This dex entry would have us believe so. But how would a rogue jolt of electricity bring a pokéball to life?

If we are going to believe this, we need to figure out exactly what we are working with here. Pokéballs are presumably made from metals/plastic, various bits of circuitry, and apricorns. The apricorns are the important ingredient here; they are plants, meaning to some degree they are already (or once were) alive. They have cells and DNA, information on everything from photosynthesis to reproduction.

So we’re not starting with an entirely blank canvas. We’re not giving life to a chunk of metal, we are giving a different life to the dead apricorn which has been retrofitted with all sorts of circuits. A cyborg apricorn.

Can we do that? Can electricity alter the genetic makeup of the apricorn? As it turns out, not exactly. DNA is actually a remarkably good conductor of electricity, acting as a tiny wire in many recent studies. Electricity can certainly damage cells, but can’t do much to transform them. However, exposure to very specific electric fields can boost mutation rates in genes. But rather than alter the DNA, it just sort of speeds up the mutations that happen randomly all the time, such as natural evolution, or what happens in cancer.

With this, I suppose it’s possible (in a very fictional sense) that the exposure to electricity sped up Darwinian evolution. Hundreds of years of survival of the fittest packed into a few seconds, creating Voltorb as a result.

However, there’s a much better theory. The only reason the Frankenstein rumor started was because Voltorbs first started showing up around pokéball factories. And it’s definitely not the only Pokémon that looks like a pokéball. Are we supposed to believe that Foongus and Vivillon are results of comic-book lab accidents as well?

Of course not. In fact, I think it’s much more likely that Voltorb picked up the same survival tactic as Vivillon and Foongus, just maybe a bit sooner than them. Perhaps a long time ago, Voltorb was entirely red or all white, or maybe black or green or some other wild pattern altogether. When pokéballs started gaining popularity in the world, Voltorb evolved into the red and white pattern we see today. He evolved to camouflage himself as a pokéball, to fit in, trick prey, and avoid predators. It became advantageous to Voltorb’s survival to pretend to be a pokéball. Like moths that look like owls, or octopi that pretend to be flounders:

So Voltorb is probably not Pokémon Frankenstein. It makes a great story though.

As pokéballs grew in popularity, it became beneficial for Voltorb to develop their distinctive red and white camouflage. Their sudden appearance near factories started the rumor that the species is a pokéball that has come to life.

anonymous asked:

Scott and #2

“Have you lost your damn mind!?” I shrieked, well aware that I was attracting the attention of several neighbors. I feel like I had a right to be hysterical, though, when my boyfriend was leading my younger brother across the slick roof. “Scott!”

Scott smiled and waved down at me, completely oblivious to my panic. “Hey Y/N!”

Joe, clutching Scott’s fingers in his small hand, waved as well. “Y/N, Y/N, look! Me and Scott are on the roof!”

Choking down my fear, I replied, “Yeah, buddy, I see that. But… why are you on the roof?”

“Turn on the porch lights!” Joe demanded, jumping in place. I gasped, imaging the worst: Joe slipping on the ice coating the shingles; Scott not being fast enough; Joe sliding and falling over the edge and splatting on the ground at my feet.

But that didn’t happen. Scott picked him up and started for the ladder propped against the side of the house. After securely positioning Joe on his back, Scott climbed down. I was, of course, waiting at the bottom with open arms, snatching Joe off Scott’s back and hugging him. “What the hell Scott? What were you thinking?” I scowled at my boyfriend.

The tips of Scott’s ears and nose were bright red from the nipping cold. When he let out a light laugh, his breath swirled in the air. “It was fine, Y/N. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to Joe.”

I pursed my lips as I set my kicking little brother down, who then darted across the yard onto the front porch. He was probably going inside; he was only wearing a thin jacket. I crossed my arms and set my attention on Scott. “Okay, well, what about you?”

Scott playfully made a face. “What about me? I was fine. I heal fast.”

Before I could make any more protests, colors filled my peripheral vision. I turned to look for the source, and my jaw dropped.

The house was covered in strands of white, green, and red lights. Some were a little shorter than others, or didn’t  exactly match up, but it didn’t matter. It was a stunning sight.

“You did this?” I asked Scott in amazement.

A throat cleared somewhere near my hip. I glanced down to see Joe with hands planted  firmly on his hips. “Actually, I did the hard work. Scott was my helper.”

I raised an eyebrow slightly. “Oh yeah? You did all of this?”

Joe nodded his head eagerly. “Do you like it? I really want you to like it. Scott and I wanted to surprise you and make you happy. Are you happy?”

I smiled, running a hand through his hair. “Of course I’m happy. I love this.” I sent a smile Scott’s way, reaching and squeezing his hand. “Thank you guys.”

“It was nothing.” Joe declared with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Now c’mon! There’s hot chocolate inside, and I call the cup with the moose on it!”

“Joe, I think you mean reindeer.”

“No Scott. I want it to be a moose.”

lol this turned out really long. kinda cheesy but my brain is fried after all my homework. I know it’s a bit early, but I can’t wait for the holidays!!!

Giving 31 pieces of masculine clothing, most small but all sizes

Mod Note: Everything has been CLAIMED. 

Hey y’all! I’ve got 31 pieces of clothing, generally considered masculine. I am in Ohio and am willing to pay for shipping in the US. I live in a house with cats. All the clothes are clean. I divided the clothes into groups, described below. Sorry I am not the most stylish exactly. Lemme know if you want any of the pieces, more info, better pics etc. Also apologies if I got any colors wrong, I do that sometimes. url is

A. Large (XL?) shirts: 3 

brown with cobblestone scene, 

black with the blues brothers

black turtleneck, long sleeve

B. Medium shirts: 3

brown “Time is an Invention”

orange with tie-dye circle, front and back

blue, long sleeve

C. Small shirts: 4

green with Phoenix

green with Two-headed bird and stars

grey, long sleeve

green turtleneck, long sleeve, tight neck

D. Leg-wear: 4

khaki pants, 29 W 30 L

khaki pants, 30 W 30 L

black athletic shorts, small (but stretchy)

blue shorts, elastic band, small, not nice looking

E. Dress shirts: 4

small, brown long sleeve

small, red with checks, long sleeve

small, white with some red, short sleeve

green(?) long sleeve, really nice, 33 inch sleeves and 14.5 neck (i.e, kinda long for a small)

F. 13 medium and large shirts specific to my hometown. You probably don’t want these but hey, maybe you do.

4 large shirts from special olympics volunteering: 3 short sleeve blue, 1 long sleeve white. 

9 medium shirts: mostly cross country shirts, including one long sleeve. Also includes a white volunteer shirt (says Body Forward on the front), a student council shirt, and several high school class shirts. Colors: most are red, one is black, one grey, one yellow.

Winter breakfast (or other lunch, or dinner) hash

This might not actually be hash, but if you make the recipe you get to call it whatever you want!

  • 1 green apple
  • 1 medium potato or sweet potato (or a few small red or white ones)
  • about 2 cups green cabbage
  • Some onion or onion powder
  • Salt and garlic
  • some crumbled tofu or an egg or other protein

Cut your stuff up! The cabbage in thick strips, the potato and apple in small chunks.

Cook your potatoes and onion in a frying pan with some oil or non-stick spray until the onions are done.

Add your seasonings. Add the cabbage and apple. If using tofu add that too.  (if using an egg, wait a minute for the cabbage to cook a bit and make some space for the egg before adding, then scramble it up a bit) cook for a couple of minutes until the cabbage is slightly soft.

Eat your meal!
13 Writing Tips From Chuck Palahniuk

Twenty years ago, a friend and I walked around downtown Portland at Christmas.   The big department stores: Meier and Frank… Fredrick and Nelson… Nordstroms… their big display windows each held a simple, pretty scene: a mannequin wearing clothes or a perfume bottle sitting in fake snow.  But the windows at the J.J. Newberry’s store, damn, they were crammed with dolls and tinsel and spatulas and screwdriver sets and pillows, vacuum cleaners, plastic hangers, gerbils, silk flowers, candy – you get the point.  Each of the hundreds of different objects was priced with a faded circle of red cardboard.  And walking past, my friend, Laurie, took a long look and said, “Their window-dressing philosophy must be:  ‘If the window doesn’t look quite right – put more in’.” 

She said the perfect comment at the perfect moment, and I remember it two decades later because it made me laugh.  Those other, pretty display windows… I’m sure they were stylist and tasteful, but I have no real memory of how they looked. 

For this essay, my goal is to put more in.  To put together a kind-of Christmas stocking of ideas, with the hope that something will be useful.  Or like packing the gift boxes for readers, putting in candy and a squirrel and a book and some toys and a necklace, I’m hoping that enough variety will guarantee that something here will occur as completely asinine, but something else might be perfect.

Number One:

Two years ago, when I wrote the first of these essays it was about my “egg timer method” of writing.  You never saw that essay, but here’s the method:  When you don’t want to write, set an egg timer for one hour (or half hour) and sit down to write until the timer rings.  If you still hate writing, you’re free in an hour.  But usually, by the time that alarm rings, you’ll be so involved in your work, enjoying it so much, you’ll keep going.  Instead of an egg timer, you can put a load of clothes in the washer or dryer and use them to time your work.  Alternating the thoughtful task of writing with the mindless work of laundry or dish washing will give you the breaks you need for new ideas and insights to occur.  If you don’t know what comes next in the story…  clean your toilet.  Change the bed sheets.  For Christ sakes, dust the computer.  A better idea will come.

Number Two:

Your audience is smarter than you imagine.  Don’t be afraid to experiment with story forms and time shifts.  My personal theory is that younger readers distain most books – not because those readers are dumber than past readers, but because today’s reader is smarter.  Movies have made us very sophisticated about storytelling.  And your audience is much harder to shock than you can ever imagine. 

Number Three:

Before you sit down to write a scene, mull it over in your mind and know the purpose of that scene.  What earlier set-ups will this scene pay off?  What will it set up for later scenes?  How will this scene further your plot?  As you work, drive, exercise, hold only this question in your mind.  Take a few notes as you have ideas.  And only when you’ve decided on the bones of the scene – then, sit and write it.  Don’t go to that boring, dusty computer without something in mind.  And don’t make your reader slog through a scene in which little or nothing happens.

Number Four:

Surprise yourself.  If you can bring the story – or let it bring you – to a place that amazes you, then you can surprise your reader.  The moment you can see any well-planned surprise, chances are, so will your sophisticated reader.

Number Five:

When you get stuck, go back and read your earlier scenes, looking for dropped characters or details that you can resurrect as “buried guns.”  At the end of writing Fight Club, I had no idea what to do with the office building.  But re-reading the first scene, I found the throw-away comment about mixing nitro with paraffin and how it was an iffy method for making plastic explosives.  That silly aside (… paraffin has never worked for me…) made the perfect “buried gun” to resurrect at the end and save my storytelling ass.

Number Six:

Use writing as your excuse to throw a party each week – even if you call that party a “workshop.”  Any time you can spend time among other people who value and support writing, that will balance those hours you spend alone, writing.  Even if someday you sell your work, no amount of money will compensate you for your time spent alone.  So, take your “paycheck” up front, make writing an excuse to be around people.  When you reach the end of your life – trust me, you won’t look back and savor the moments you spent alone.

Write the book you want to read.

Number Seven:

Let yourself be with Not Knowing.  This bit of advice comes through a hundred famous people, through Tom Spanbauer to me and now, you.  The longer you can allow a story to take shape, the better that final shape will be.  Don’t rush or force the ending of a story or book.  All you have to know is the next scene, or the next few scenes.  You don’t have to know every moment up to the end, in fact, if you do it’ll be boring as hell to execute.    

Number Eight:

If you need more freedom around the story, draft to draft, change the character names.  Characters aren’t real, and they aren’t you.  By arbitrarily changing their names, you get the distance you need to really torture a character.  Or worse, delete a character, if that’s what the story really needs.

Number Nine:

There are three types of speech – I don’t know if this is TRUE, but I heard it in a seminar and it made sense.  The three types are:  Descriptive, Instructive, and Expressive.  Descriptive:  “The sun rose high…”  Instructive:  “Walk, don’t run…”  Expressive:  “Ouch!”  Most fiction writers will only use one – at most, two – of these forms.  So use all three.  Mix them up.  It’s how people talk.

Number Ten:

Write the book you want to read.

Number Eleven:

Get author book jacket photos taken now, while you’re young.  And get the negatives and copyright on those photos.

Number Twelve:

Write about the issues that really upset you.  Those are the only things worth writing about.  In his course, called “Dangerous Writing,” Tom Spanbauer stresses that life is too precious to spend it writing tame, conventional stories to which you have no personal attachment.  There are so many things that Tom talked about but that I only half remember:  the art of “manumission,” which I can’t spell, but I understood to mean the care you use in moving a reader through the moments of a story.    And “sous conversation,” which I took to mean the hidden, buried message within the obvious story.  Because I’m not comfortable describing topics I only half-understand, Tom’s agreed to write a book about his workshop and the ideas he teaches.  The working title is “A Hole In The Heart,” and he plans to have a draft ready by June 2006, with a publishing date set in early 2007. 

Number Thirteen:

Another Christmas window story.  Almost every morning, I eat breakfast in the same diner, and this morning a man was painting the windows with Christmas designs.  Snowmen.  Snowflakes.  Bells.  Santa Claus.  He stood outside on the sidewalk, painting in the freezing cold, his breath steaming, alternating brushes and rollers with different colors of paint.  Inside the diner, the customers and servers watched as he layered red and white and blue paint on the outside of the big windows.  Behind him the rain changed to snow, falling sideways in the wind. 

The painter’s hair was all different colors of gray, and his face was slack and wrinkled as the empty ass of his jeans.  Between colors, he’d stop to drink something out of a paper cup. 

Watching him from inside, eating eggs and toast, somebody said it was sad.  This customer said the man was probably a failed artist.  It was probably whiskey in the cup.  He probably had a studio full of failed paintings and now made his living decorating cheesy restaurant and grocery store windows.  Just sad, sad, sad.

This painter guy kept putting up the colors.  All the white “snow,” first.  Then some fields of red and green.  Then some black outlines that made the color shapes into Xmas stockings and trees.

A server walked around, pouring coffee for people, and said, “That’s so neat.  I wish I could do that…”

And whether we envied or pitied this guy in the cold, he kept painting.  Adding details and layers of color.  And I’m not sure when it happened, but at some moment he wasn’t there.  The pictures themselves were so rich, they filled the windows so well, the colors so bright, that the painter had left.  Whether he was a failure or a hero.  He’d disappeared, gone off to wherever, and all we were seeing was his work.

13 Writing Tips courtesy of Chuck Palahniuk and LitReactor.