It’s Robert E. Howard’s birthday!  Though he’s mostly known for his Conan novels, Howard write in a variety of genres and produced some really great characters (Costigan and Elkins having the added benefit of being downright hilarious).

One of my favorites is Red Sonja, who you probably know through the bikini-armor-clad comics version that bears practically no resemblance to the Polish-Ukrainian hard-fightin,’ hard-drinkin,’ heavily armed gunner whose only overt sexiness comes from a description which says that she was “splendidly shaped” in her baggy pantaloons.  She holds the wall during the siege of Vienna and singlehandedly rescues her comrade-in-arms, a Chewbacca-esque German meathead with a five-foot sword named Gottfried, in the story’s climax.  I’d like to see more comics featuring THAT version of the character.

The Every Day Scedule of Gail Simone
  1. Wakes up
  2. Drinks coffee the tears of vanquished foes from her Ct'hthullu mug
  3. Puts on her Sauron helmet
  4. Opens her computer
  5. Goes on Twitter
  6. Trolls on twitter
  7. Makes new enemies (Including Microsoft Vampires 80’s band and the English)
  8. Writes down enemy names on her Death Note*
  9. Leaves Twitter
  10. Goes on Tumblr
  11. Repeats steps 6 to 9
  12. Whips her pet Unicorns back to write her awesome comics on schedule
  13. Takes credit for the job of slaved unicorns

Somebody edit this with pics cause I don’t have them.

*She replaces her Death Note Daily