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My favorite excerpt from Phone Calls by Lakeylou...

He takes a long time to answer but she stays on anyway. She won’t leave a message.

“Nicole!” His voice is loud and unexpected in her ear, and she is close to ending the call. He’s with people and she doesn’t want to disturb. She can hear excited voices mingling in the background. “Now is not a good time, sweetheart, do you think I can get back to you in say… fifteen minutes?”


She doesn’t mean for his name to come out the way it does. She wanted to hang up, she thinks, she should have ended the call, but her voice betrays her. It breaks and she sobs his name out instead. Red is silent, but people are still bickering in the background. She’s not sure where he is, but it sounds like a group of drunk men fighting over a game of cards, possibly something with high-stakes.

“If you’ll excuse me,” She hears him say, and Liz blinks her eyes and tilts her head to stare up at the ceiling. “I need to take this. Dembe, take my place at the table and keep your eye on Romeo here. He has a nasty set of wandering eyes.”

Laughter follows Red’s remark and then the voices fade until there’s nothing. A door closes, and then another door closes, and then there’s the distinct bolt of a heavy lock snapping into place.

“Lizzie, what’s wrong?”

“Um,” her swallow catches in the back of her throat and she quickly uprights herself. “… I just thought we could talk.”

“You’re upset.”


“What’s wrong?”

She stands from the sofa and begins to pace in the small space her living room provides. Between the bag of red-stained clothes at her front door and the two-draw desk that has a photo of her and Sam sitting on top. She shouldn’t have called Red so early; she should have waited for a bit. She should have cleaned the bag of clothes. She should have taken Molly out the window.


Now she’s just going to dump it all on Red. And despite Red’s familiarity with death, she still doesn’t like telling him.


“Something happened at work today and I just-”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.” Liz squeezes her eyes shut, wants to tell him that she was close to being hurt, probably should have been, would rather have been, but she knows he won’t be pleased to hear her say that.

“What happened?”

“There was a girl… ”


“She was um… four-years old, Red. And she, I didn’t protect her properly, Red. And she got in the line of gun fire and there was a lot of it and… she just got hit. She died, Red. In my arms.” She says in a rush. She thinks that the quicker she gets it out, the faster Red will help her. “She just, it was so, so quick. They, they took her to hospital but it was too late. I was meant to–I told her that she would be okay. I told her mother that I would protect her.”

She sniffs, feels the first few tears track down to her lips. She wondered when it was going to begin. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, and wonders why she hasn’t showered yet. Her hands smell of hospital soap and the faint, metallic scent of blood.

“Oh, Lizzie.”

“And I don’t know what to do.” She says and inhales a ragged breath. Lizzie knows that Red is use to this side of her, and she’s use to giving it to him so she doesn’t bother trying to hold back tears. “She was four years old and I should have been able to protect her.”

“Lizzie, you did protect her, but there are some impossible situations where you-”

“You weren’t there. I, I told her that I would come back for her-”


“And I was trying-”

“Lizzie, I need you to stop.”

“But I can’t.” Lizzie chokes out, her voice boarding on hysteria. She shouldn’t feel like this, she thinks. “I can see her.” She says and she feels so cold now and then there’s this overwhelming pain that settles in her chest. “Like I can see her, Red. Every time I close my eyes. I, I think something’s wrong with me.”

“You need to breathe, Lizzie. You need to calm down.” Red responds, his voice warm and controlled. “Don’t say anything, Lizzie. Just take some breaths, sweetheart, or you’re going to have a panic attack on me, and I’m not there with you.”

“I can’t.” She cries, thinks that now she’s started she won’t be able to stop. She presses her back against her bedroom door and slides down, wraps an arm around her legs, brings her knees close to her chest and drops her head to rest on them.

“You can.” He responds and when all she gives him is sobs in reply, he tries again. “Lizzie?”


“Are you breathing with me?”

“I want you here.” Her tone comes out much more pleading than she expected. She hasn’t cried like this in a long, long time. “I need you to be here.”

There’s a burst of breath from Red’s end and Liz doesn’t really register what she just said. Or, she does, but she doesn’t really care that she said it. Because it’s true, she thinks. He’s not here when she needs him. She thinks that if she could be hugged by Red all night she might wake up okay.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry, Lizzie.” He replies and he sounds unsure of how else to respond.

Originally posted by iloveredmorethanever


Motherf%&king BAZ, man!!! 


Okay, remember this guy?^^^  You know, the (hot) Kenny Rogers lookalike one with like, ONE LINE in Season 1 during the Anglo Garrick arc?  The walking talking GI Joe?  Metal Gear Solid reincarnate?  The one who has slowly gained more air time and apparently become a part of Red’s army permanently?  Yeah, THAT one.  Well, I decided to update my “Red’s Army” drawing from last year and remove Mr. Vargas, (curse his lying scum bag ways!!!) and instead add this guy^^^ who we now have learned is named, “Baz.”

So me, doing my research, looked him up on Google to find out his real name. Know what it is? It’s Motherf%&king BAZ!!!  

Now I bet you’re wondering, “Why is she using “motherf%&king” in front of his name, and why did they use his real name as his character’s name?”  Well, I’ll tell you why.

His name is Bazzel Baz (no joke) and get this… in real life HE RESCUES CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED ALL OVER THE WORLD.  Mr. Baz is:

  • A former US Marine
  • A 10 year vet of the CIA
  • And founder of ARC (Association for the Recovery of Children)

(he’s also apparently a reality tv star, tv consultant, and producer)… but back to the badass’ness…


“’If you get shot, I can do surgery.  And then I can get you out of the area, because I know how to fly a plane.’  He can also hotwire a car, drive a truck, captain a boat, resuscitate an injured person-basically, anything that needs to be done to make sure the person under his protection gets out of a life-threatening situation intact.” ( 2015)

As the founder of ARC, he recruited an elite group of half a dozen former military men whose sole purpose is to find kidnapped US children throughout the world and bring them home.  It’s been in operation for OVER 24 YEARS.

ARC was founded in ‘95 mainly with his own money and resources.  His team has successfully rescued over 60 children, and has a 100% success rate to date.

It all started in ‘91 during a tour in Somalia (right before the events of Blackhawk Down) when his squad noticed two small girls cowering for cover and lost.  He wanted to bring them in, but it wasn’t part of their mission, so they left them there.  “It just tugged at my heart,” Baz said.  Two days later, he went back out with his team and recovered the girls, and also located the girls’ mother and brother, reuniting them all in the middle of one of the deadliest US campaigns of all time.  

This became a mission of Baz’s, to the point that he used all of his own leave and vacation time to go out and find other missing children around the world who had been kidnapped.  

One of Baz’s most famous rescues was of a little girl named Lily Snyder in 2003 (pictured above)^^^.  She had been missing for over two years before she was located by Baz and his team in Costa Rica.  She was recovered safely after an early morning raid by ARC on the compound where she was being held.

About 15% of the children ARC rescues are taken by sex traffickers. Luckily, because ARC is NOT a law enforcement agency, they can get away with a lot more and take quicker action than the government could.  “I don’t like bureaucracy, and I hate evil.  I’m grateful for what other organizations do, but kids don’t come home until boots are on the ground.”

Baz states, “A calling isn’t a job.  You don’t do it to get rewarded.  You’re compelled to do it because it’s in the DNA of your soul, and you will give your life to do it.”

Unfortunately, because it ISN’T a government funded group, their funding often is lacking, leaving dozens of cases where the children cannot be rescued by his team.

Currently, Baz is playing his recurring character of BAZ on The Blacklist as the head of Red’s protective detail.  I’ve come to the conclusion that he is literally so badass in real life, that they just said, “F’ it… You’re staying BAZ.  THAT’S your character’s name.”  He is also a consultant on the show.  This gig allows him a steady income that he then uses to fund his grassroots organization to rescue more children.

(I’m totally convinced that Baz isn’t even acting on the show… that’s just HIM. No wonder Red wants him in charge of his protective detail!!!)  But I thought people should KNOW what I found out about him, and spread the word, BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE BAZ’S!!!  Please reblog this, and let NBCBlacklist know that Baz needs to stay, (Baz needs the money,) so Baz can continue being a literal “Motherf%&king HERO” offscreen and saving children’s lives while he’s not acting on the show.

(And to think that this all came about because I wanted to do a drawing of him…)

Please let NBCBlacklist know (tweet, tumblr, Facebook, WHATEVER!!!) that we love Baz, and Baz should NOT be killed off.  Make him a recurring character like Mr. Kaplan at the least, and let this man continue to be as badass as he possibly can (on AND off the screen).

And THAT’S why he’s “Motherf%&cking BAZ.”^^^

Please spread the word on this amazing man and tell NBCBlacklist WE WANT BAZ!!!

~this information was gathered from various sources on the web, but mainly from this great article…