red lodge mt

     “He’s Christian, I’m not. It was a big thing at first, and sometimes still is. We see the world somewhat differently and have different political affiliations. When we talk about it, we have a lot of anxiety about what those differences will mean in terms of our future, family, going to church, and how we’ll raise our kids.
     “Another reason why Christianity was tough at first is that I have same-sex parents: two moms. When he first met them, he loved them, and they loved him. That was the first time I thought, ‘This could actually work.’ Because if it didn’t work with them, it was never going to work with me. My moms have both had bad experiences with Christianity, so I had a funny relationship with religion growing up.
     “It was much harder in the beginning because we didn’t have much that was ‘us.’ As time went by, we had experiences and conversations together, met families and friends—all that stuff becomes part of it, and then you become a unit, a couple. Not that it’s easier to look past the hard stuff, but it’s easier to talk about it and not have it be such a threat.
     “I still think facing the big questions and important decisions will let us know if it will work. I keep saying that we have to get through a presidential election before I know. That will be the ultimate test. He says it shouldn’t matter, but if he votes for Donald Trump, we’re not getting married—ever.”

     Red Lodge, MT

     “After graduating from medical school, we go through a long and stressful matching process, and it can be hard to end up in the same residency program. Some physician couples spend a lot of time training in different cities. We’ll be in a long-distance relationship for at least three years. I’ll be doing my residency in Montana and he’ll do his in Texas.”
     “Do you have a special way of dealing with the distance?”
     “We started a journal that we mail back and forth. We also do FaceTime dinners. Once a week, we make dinner and FaceTime during it, so it’s almost like having dinner together.”

     Red Lodge, MT

     “We were holding hands while hiking in a small village in Nepal on April 25 when the earthquake hit, and we went to work in a hospital after that. I think that brought us even closer together, especially because it happened at a time when we were getting ready to move to different states. It wasn’t just those 60 seconds—there were aftershocks for days. I thought, This is the only person that I would want to be with in that situation. So in a very ironic sense, the event that tore up that part of the world made us stronger.” 

     Red Lodge, MT