red leaf maple

Me when other fans say their team sucks after one goal against: ‘omg calm down, it’s just one goal.’


Also me: 'the other team scored, pack it up guys, we suck.’

THOUGHTS OF A HOCKEY FAN

1.) “Why’d they blow the play dead?”

2.) “How is that even a penalty?”

3.) “What is ‘goaltender interference’?”

4.) “How the shit is that goaltender interference?”

5.) “That was the weakest penalty call I’ve ever seen.”

6.) “What the fuck are you even doing ref?”

7.) “ThAt’S nOt A pEnAlTy YoU bLiNd FuCk.”

8.) “Shut up Pierre.”

9.) “I hate every single one of these players, why are you even in the NHL.”

10.) “I can’t actually believe I’m watching beer league players.”

11.) “Wait…. When did he get traded? Who even are these people.”

12.) “I hate hockey and the players hate me.”

13.) “Oh there’s gonna be a figh–false alarm, they just hugged.”

14.) “Our goalie is going to kill every single one of his teammates and I might actually help.”

15.) “What the actual hell is our coach even doing? Can he be fired pls.”

Bonus: “I miss hockey.”

If you don't ugly cry over hockey then have you really experienced hockey?
When your favorite player isn't protected

Originally posted by somenerdthing

Credit to the hockey news.

Here’s the current playoff possibility for each team and possible match up.

NHL Coach Lingo

  • “Day-to-day” = damnit man, I’m a coach not a doctor.
  • “Lower body injury” = could be a toe, could be a knee, could be the groin, could be diarrhea.
  • “We’re not worried” = we’re losing but I can’t very well say ‘we’re boned’ on TV.
  • When asked how they plan on scoring: “uh, you know, we’re just gonna hockey harder than the other team and hope hockey happens. We can play hockey but we need to play hockier hockey.”
  • “We lost because we didn’t score” = I’m literally only here so I won’t get fined.
  • “We lost but there’s another game so we just have to play” = boys are bag skating tomorrow, nothing but bag skating.
  • After getting interviewed by Pierre McGuire: “I would love to stuff that mic up your nose.”
  • “We just need to bring our A game” = I’m literally just gonna be praying to the hockey God’s the whole game.
Me when Vegas starts making its picks...

Originally posted by toomanyfandomsblog

Basically.

Hockey Goalie Problems & Thoughts

1. “Get out of my crease, it’s mine and I’m not sharing.”

2. “Don’t run into me, I have a special glove to knock you on your ass.”

3. “Don’t snow me, I will goalie stick slash the shit out of you.”

4. “I have the puck, stab me with your stick one more time and I will throw it.”

5. “Don’t touch or hit my water bottle; water bottle police are always on patrol.”

6. “Just because the refs are blind and don’t call interference, doesn’t mean I won’t try to rearrange your face.”

7. “Don’t blame me for letting in a goal when my team has decided they forgot to hockey.”

8. “Don’t blame me for a loss, I can’t play every position.”

9. “This is my net, touch it and die.”

10

NHL team twitter headers