red flags

anonymous asked:

*cries* im developing a crush on my ex-gf's close friend—who is straight :ccccc

There are SO MANY red flags nopes in that one, dude. RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!

anonymous asked:

I haven't played the game and I'm halfway through the animation,but this bugs me. In the anime,Sakura and Aoi were in the kitchen (episode 3).Sayaka came in,they had a short chat,and ignored her later. When Sayaka left,both Sakura and Aoi notice that a knife is missing (I could be wrong,but there was a shot of it). So why the hell didn't they run after her? Especially when she can't cook for shit(FTE). Maizono could have put her acting skills to the test by pretending to self harm/suicide.

never thought of this. what the fuck

sayaka coming in and taking the biggest knife in the kitchen didn’t raise any red flags… okay

Barack Obama has maintained an uncanny ability to avoid being blamed for the situation the US finds itself in. Partly this is due to the superficial approach of small-l liberals, for whom an eloquent speech and a crocodile tear are enough to forgive any number of crimes. Partly it is the persistence of lesser-evilism. Obama benefited greatly from not being Bush. Then he was attacked throughout his presidency by a range of racist Republican nutters who simultaneously denounced him as a communist and a new Hitler. Now he benefits from the inevitable comparison with Trump and Clinton.

This serves only to highlight the bankruptcy of lesser-evilism. Obama’s likely successor will be Hillary Clinton, a candidate so unpopular it took the miracle of Donald Trump for her to be electable. It’s hard to see how she will be as successful a salesperson for poverty and war as Obama has been.

Obama leaves behind a United States even more plagued by poverty and inequality. He leaves an empire soaked in the blood of yet more victims.

READ MORE: The legacy of Obama

To my followers and mutuals I just wanted to share somethin with yall because I’m gettin old AF and starting to realize shit lol..

When someone that you know and care for rather it be a friend, family member or romantic partner treats you wrong ( unwarranted im not talkin about you writing a check your ass can’t cash lol) it has 99.9% absolutely nothing to do with you.

Please realize that. Please do not blame yourself. They fucked up. You can take some responsibility in possibly ignoring some red flags, or staying longer than you should have. However, please realize people are who they are. They don’t wake up and change who they are when they deal with you. They were like that before you and most likely will treat someone else badly after you. I’m really reaching out to women because we are taught that it must be us ( men go through this too). Please do not internalize the terrible shit other people do to you and think it is reflection of you and your worth.

Our culture really romanticises the idea of a (usually male) brooding misunderstood loner who’s an asshole to everyone but secretly has a heart of gold, so it’s frighteningly easy to meet a guy who treats everyone around him badly and believe without evidence that he has a heart of gold. 

Don’t fall for it.

And a lapse in cruelty is not evidence of kindness.

My school district refuses to remove confederate symbols from my high school campus

I am a student at Robert E. Lee high school in San Antonio, Texas. When you walk into Robert E. Lee high school, the first thing you will see is a giant statue of Robert E. Lee. Imagine being an African American student and having to walk into school every day looking at a man who fought for the enslavement of your ancestors. Robert E. Lee high school is the oldest school in the North East Independent School district. The school mascot is a “volunteer” appearing in a red and gray confederate army uniform and looking a lot like Robert himself. The school colors are red and gray which are the confederate colors. The pep squad is called the “confederettes”, The JV drill team is called the “dixie drillers” and the varsity dance team is called the “rebel rousers”.  Progress this summer was made when two confederate emblems were removed from the campus. This summer, a peer of mine, Kayla Wilson, sought to get rid of all confederate symbols from my school and change the name. At first, the district wouldn’t even put the name change up for discussion. After a long battle of board meetings and a petition with over 11,000 people, the school board voted not to change anything about my school. “Dec 11, 2015 — On Monday night NEISD Board voted NOT to rename Robert E Lee H.S . Board Trustee Wheat pleaded with fellow Board members to give the students and faculty an opportunity to voice their opinion and grievances. He requested a committee made up of teachers, administrators, and community to do surveys, obtain facts, and submit alternate names. He stated"we have not done enough to make this decision". Board Trustee White gave his testimony, as a African American the name offended him, and “we should not have to constantly defend the name of our schools for someone who is so controversial”. White reiterated Robert E Lee was the general of the confederacy, and fought to continue slavery. 

Superintendent Gottardy and Board Trustees Grona, Bresnahan, Hughey, and Perkins stated they had done enough research to make this decision and felt burdened to continue any additional effort. Board Trustee Perkins mocked Trustee Wheat attempt to add the voices of the students , teachers, and PTA.

The board meeting ended with an item being place on the Agenda to look into all symbol, icons, and songs tied to the confederacy. This Agenda item will be reviewed in the spring.

Please review the video below and review the response of the Board members. Unlike other communities like , Houston, Austin, Princeton, UT and even Robert E Lee’s Washington and Lee University recommended a discussion.

San Antonio NEISD refused discussion. Board Trustees did not feel the voice of its students or faculty matter for this decision.

Please email your Board Members why community matters. Why facts are important. Please tell them ALL are children voices’ matter.”

Robert E Lee was a confederate who fought for the enslavement of black people in the United States. He fought to maintain the continued subjugation of Blacks in America’s south. My school district perpetuates a racist culture by keeping racist symbols on my campus. 

The dance team and cheerleader coach threatened to their students that if the name change was posted about on social media or talked about at school, girls would be kicked off the team immediately. 

Faculty members were fired for talking about it on social media as well. 

The petition didn’t make a difference. The school board meeting didn’t make a difference. Very few individuals in San Antonio, Texas want to change the school name to make African American students comfortable. 


on being an asshole's exception

So this guy hates EVERYONE… except for you. He’s a broody, arrogant misanthrope who just can’t stand people… except for you. You alone are the special, interesting, unique person worth his time, attention, and respect. Everyone else, as far as he’s concerned, is a tedious waste of time because they just don’t get it. They don’t get him!

Sure, his general misanthropy is kind of a character flaw, but it makes you feel sort of special that someone who hates everyone actually likes you. And maybe you can work on those rough edges! He’s nice to you, and that’s what matters, right?

Don’t buy into it, Jane Eyre. This kind of person may make you the exception for awhile, but why? Sure, you’re interesting and unique and you have a lot to offer, but so do some of the people he summarily dismisses. What’s the difference between you and them?

When someone is an asshole to literally everyone but you, he’s not an interesting, brooding soul. He’s an asshole. He wants something from you, so he’s willing to bend a little; he doesn’t think it’s worthwhile to show respect or courtesy to anyone he doesn’t want something from. And all that arrogance doesn’t mean he actually has anything to be arrogant about.

Don’t settle for someone with the personality of a rotten fish. You’re not being let into some exclusive club; you’ve just met an asshole who wants something from you. Pay attention to how a potential partner treats people he doesn’t have to be nice to. It’s a pretty important clue to whether he’s fit company for human beings.

When your right to say no is entirely hypothetical

Some scary controlling people will tell you over and over how important consent is to them. They will tell you that they want to respect your boundaries, and that if anything makes you uncomfortable, they will stop. They will say this over and over, apparently sincerely.

Until you actually say no.

And then, suddenly, they create a reason that it wasn’t ok, after all, and that you’re going to do what they wanted anyway.

They will tell you that it *would* be ok to say no, and that of course they’d respect it, but you said it wrong. And that you have to understand that it hurts them when you say it that way. (And that you should make it better by doing what they wanted).

Or they will tell you that of course they don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but you said yes before. And that this means that either it’s really ok with you, or that you don’t trust them anymore. And that you have to understand that it hurts when you withdraw trust like that (and that you should make it better by doing what they wanted.)

Or that they have a headache. Or that they just can’t deal with it right now. That maybe when they feel better or aren’t tired or grumpy or had a better day it will be ok to say no. (And that meanwhile, you should fix things by doing what they wanted).

Or that by saying no, you’re accusing them of being an awful person. And that they’d never do anything to hurt you, so why are you making accusations like that? (And, implicitly, that you should fix it by doing what they wanted.)

If this kind of thing happens every time you say no, things are really wrong. 

No isn’t a theoretical construct. In mutually respectful relationships, people say no to each other often, and it’s not a big deal

Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize. Victims are confused and unsure of themselves. They wonder if they’re just overreacting and making a big deal out of something small. The abuser reinforces these feelings and blames their actions on anger, or blame the victim for making them act that way; or worse they say it’s okay when they do it because they’re not trying to be abusive. All of these are excuses. It’s never okay to abuse another person. Yes people can have toxic behaviors they aren’t aware of but they’ll change those behaviors when they’re pointed out. Not say they can’t control themselves when they’re angry. That’s nothing more than a cop out to avoid responsibility for one’s actions.
—  Anonymous

Signs that a relationship may be abusive

  • a big age difference, ESPECIALLY if one person is under 18 and the other is an adult (power imbalance)
  • one person is an authority figure over the other (boss, teacher, coach, youth group leader, professor, etc.)
  • Your partner does things that you’re afraid to tell your friends or family about because they “wouldn’t understand” that your partner’s “really/usually not that bad”.
  • Things are great except when they’re absolutely terrible, and you have to really focus on how great it is when they’re sweet, because in the meantime they’re hurting or scaring you and making you feel like crap.
  • Doesn’t respect it when you say “no” and tries to argue or force you to do or accept things you don’t want to do or accept. (even trivial things count)
  • Your partner goes through your phone, email, purse, or belongings without permission
  • Constantly putting you down or criticising you for everything
  • Deliberately embarrasses you in front of your family or friends
  • Extreme jealousy, possessiveness or insecurity
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolating you from family or friends
  • They act like literally everything that goes wrong in your relationship is your fault, even the bad things they do
  • Making false accusations, especially about lying or cheating on them
  • Mood swings/big changes in how they treat you
  • Pressuring or forcing you to have sex (if you don’t actually want to have sex but feel like you have to, that is RAPE.)
  • Blames you for the times they hurt you (I couldn’t help it, you shouldn’t have done x, it’s your fault)
  • Acts really sweet after a big fight and promises it will never happen again, but it does
  • Tries to control things that should be your choice, like what to eat or wear, who to hang out with or where to go
  • When you call them on bad behaviour or ask them not to do something, they get really angry and it turns into a big fight
  • They tell you that no one else could love you like they do or that you’d never find another relationship
  • Breaks things that belong to you, hurts animals, or punches the wall when angry
  • Hurts you when angry – grabbing you so hard it hurts, shoving, hitting, biting, slapping, kicking, punching, or slamming you against the wall.
  • Touching you sexually when you’re asleep, drunk, or passed out (this is sexual assault or rape, because you weren’t conscious enough to give consent)
  • Threatens to commit suicide, hurt themselves, or hurt someone else if you leave them
  • Makes vague or specific threats about doing something bad to you
  • Makes you feel worthless or like you don’t deserve to be loved
  • Tampers with contraception/birth control
  • Brings up your mental health every time there’s a disagreement
  • Brings up hurtful things others have done to you during fights, as a way of saying that you are the reason other people hurt you
  • Humiliates you or belittles you for being bad at sex or being a bad romantic partner

More info on abuse can be found here:
Abusive Relationship Checklist
Is This Abuse?
The Controlling Partner: Warning Signs of Verbal and Physical Abuse
But I Would Never Abuse Anyone
When Your Right to Say No Is Entirely Hypothetical
Good Love vs. Bad Love

Other signs of a bad relationship:

  • doesn’t seem to care whether or not you’re interested in their advances; they do what they want with you without checking to see if you’re interested
  • often refocuses the conversation to sex or your appearance, instead of engaging with you on nonsexual topics. (objectification)
  • Talks over you, ignores you, or acts dismissive of what you’re saying (lack of respect)
  • is in a relationship with someone else, and the other person isn’t aware of their relationship with you
  • Uses slurs, especially although not exclusively ones that are meant to describe YOUR race, gender, orientation, etc. (even jokingly)
  • If you’re meeting someone you met online, them not being comfortable with meeting in a public place with someone else knowing about it
  • Says you’re cute when you’re mad (ignoring your feelings and not listening to you)
  • gives you the silent treatment when they’re mad at you (different from needing space because they don’t talk to you about it, just start ignoring you and if you bring it up they might say they’re NOT ignoring you)
  • Is interested in you because of your race (check out FuckNoFetishization) or because you’re trans, fat, etc., instead of seeing those factors as just part of who you are and being attracted to you for a variety of reasons (fetishization, objectification)
  • Says you’re “rambling” when you talk about something important to you
  • Laughs at you when you’re hurt, sad, or afraid
  • Doesn’t share your core beliefs about what’s most important to you in life
  • You don’t really have much to talk about except sex or how much you like each other
  • Doesn’t respect your gender identity or sexuality (says you’re “not really” what you say your identity is or laughs at you for it)
  • Doesn’t want to meet other important people in your life or doesn’t want you to meet important people in their life
  • Doesn’t take your needs or desires into consideration when making decisions that affect you
  • Doesn’t abide by agreements that both of you made, like specific plans or agreements about monogamy
  • Sex-shames you, or anyone else
  • Tries to pressure you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with after you’ve said no (not just sexual stuff)
  • Is rude to service staff, children, or other people who can’t really do anything about it
  • is rude to strangers
  • Doesn’t seem to have time for the kind of relationship you’d like to have with them
  • Tries to make things serious too fast, too soon for your comfort zone
  • doesn’t think you’re awesome
  • guilt trips you a lot
Good Love vs. Bad Love

Being in a relationship can either be really fun or extremely stressful. It’s important to be able to tell the difference between healthy actions and unhealthy actions. You and your partner should be on a level where you are comfortable with each other emotionally and physically. 

Read below to see if you are in a healthy relationship or not.

You have been a victim of sexual assault, sexual abuse, domestic violence (emotional and/or physical), or rape, etc. You decide to tell your partner about your experiences.

Healthy: They give you their undivided attention and listen to what you have to say. They comfort you and make you feel safe and comfortable. 

Unhealthy: They pepper you with unnecessary questions such as (but not limited to), “Well what were you wearing?” and “Why didn’t you stop it?”. They blame you, don’t pay attention to your words, and/or insult you.

You and your partner connect really well on an emotional level, but you would still like to take things slow physically. So, you let them know this.

Healthy: “Okay, sure, no problem! We won’t do anything until you’re ready.”

Unhealthy:Come on, can’t we fool around just a little?? Please?”  or “Well you promised me that we would have sex, what’s the problem?”

You and your partner connect on a physical level, but not on an emotional level. Sometimes, you need space to be by yourself, so you decide to tell your partner.

Healthy: “I understand. Just know that if you need me, I’m here for you.”

Unhealthy: “But you’re supposed to tell me everything.” or “I thought you loved me. Why would you want to be alone?" 

You are in the middle of having sex, but you have a flashback and you would like to stop.

Healthy: You stop having sex immediately and your partner checks to make sure you’re okay.

Unhealthy: Your partner coerces you to continue and/or continues even though you said stop.

You just spent an entire weekend hanging out with your partner. While it was fun, you also miss your friends and you want to let your partner know that next weekend, you’ll be hanging out with your friends.

Healthy: They understand completely and realize that you are a person free to do whatever the hell you want.

Unhealthy: They get mad at you for wanting to spend time with other people.

You are going out with friends, and your partner sees the outfit you are going to wear for the night.

Healthy: They say nothing and compliment you because you look fucking fantastic.

Unhealthy: They make you change your clothes.

Keep reading