red ales

  • Tim: I'm not Batman. I have friends.
  • Ra's: You sure about that?
  • Tim: Yeah! Like Conner.
  • Ra's: He died.
  • Tim: Oh yeah. Well what about Bart?
  • Ra's: He died too
  • Tim: Lonnie?
  • Ra's: Coma
  • Tim: Steph?
  • Ra's: Faked her death without telling you and now you can't trust her
  • Tim: *scratches head* Well I guess I still have my siblings-
  • Ra's: Two of them hate you and the other one has no time for you
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: ...
  • Tim: Okay but at least I'm still not Batma-
  • Ra's: Out of all your siblings you are the one most similar to Batman in skill, emotional distance, intelligence, and traumatic experience
  • Tim: *cries and stomps away in frustration*

*jason accidentally calls bruce*

bruce, over text: what’s wrong?

jason: nothing

bruce: did u want anything or did u just want to talk?

jason: it was an accident

bruce: were u driving?

bruce: r u ok???

jason: i’m fine

bruce: who was driving?

jason: damian is driving

bruce: the car hurt?

jason: what

bruce: what happened?

jason: nothing happened, i just called you by accident

bruce: what happened?

jason: NOTHING HAPPENED

jason:  what are you talking about?

bruce: u said that u had an accident

jason: i said it was an accident, i called you by accident

bruce: what accident???

jason: bruce there was no accident. I CALLED YOU BY ACCIDENT!!!

Scheme

Prompt: Combination of Jason Todd imagine where reader used to be part of the league angst maybe? And Can you please do something with Jason x reader? (They’re boyfriend and girlfriend) Specifically something really fluffy like reader and Jason are partners on patrol and they help each other out during fights. They also have witty banter and flirt while fighting. After patrol, they are going back to the batcave and it’s really cute and romantic. I don’t know. Hopefully this works. We don’t get a lot of Jason fluff.

Requested by: ANON and bitch-jerk-assbut-idigits67


    “What is your deal with her?”

    Jason can only smirk as he ignores the question … again. Some things were private, and his relationship with you was at the top of that list. “Seriously Jay, is this a Selina and Bruce type romance?”

    That made Jason frown. You weren’t casual. You were a committed and loyal person. Of course, they had no way of knowing that. All they knew about you was your mask and the fact you showed up when anyone was in trouble. Well, that and the constant flirting.

    Removing the helmet, Jason ran his fingers through his hair before facing his brothers. Dick was in full swing big brother mode. Dick had made it clear that he was tired of losing people, that had led to him being more nosy than usual lately. It had also left him sounding like a mother hen.

    The rest of the family was curious, but they weren’t going as far as to demand answers. With nothing left to do, Jason did the only thing he could; he chucked the helmet at his brother and grinned in satisfaction when he caught it; it gave him just enough time to rush forward and sweep his feet out from under him.

    Leaving him on the floor, Jason made his escape. It didn’t take long to get home. The mere fact that you were waiting for him was enough to make him hurry. Sure enough, you were there.

You were lying on the couch dressed in your favorite sleep pants, and one of Jason’s shirts. He’s still dressed in his patrol uniform when he collapses on top of you. You giggle as he steals a few kisses.

You sweep his hair behind his ear before kissing him properly. “Welcome home.”

“It’s so good to be home. My brothers are annoying.”

“Especially when I’m trying to save them.”

He laughs, “Told you so.”

He links his fingers with yours. His thumb twirls the band on your ring finger. You’d been

a part of the League when Talia had brought Jason to the compound. You’d watched him come back to life, and had been part of the force to help restrain him in the early days.

    It had become apparent rather quickly that he calmed down around you. He had allowed you near him, to help him. Your bond had become solid and concrete within a year. And Ra’s had been consumed with it. Jason was one of the best, that was clear. He was strong, and fast, and he could endure.

    And after several years of being partners on the battlefield, you became partners in life. The two of you had been faithful to Ra’s, to the League. You’d been so grateful for the gift of each other, that you hadn’t questioned him. Until he derived a plan to destroy Gotham.

    Years of memories had come flooding back to Jason. It became clear what the two of you had to do in the days that followed. Jason had fled, and you’d remained as a spy. When the time had come you had foiled the League with the help of Jason’s family.

    You’d appeared a week later, dressed in a mask, and your own costume. Playing with Jason’s family had been too good of an opportunity to pass up. So you patrolled the streets of Gotham with Jason, and when he was busy with his family you did it alone.

    From time to time, you showed up when Jason’s family needed help. You pulled them out of sticky situations, flirted with your husband, and retreated home.

    Jason’s lips on your neck draw you out of your thoughts and you giggle, “We can’t.”

    “Why not?”

    You kiss his cheek, “Because there’s a little girl in there waiting for her daddy to check the closet for monsters.”

    His brow furrows, “She’s still awake?”

    You nod, “Oh yes. She wanted to see her daddy.”

    With a smile he heaves himself off the couch and you watch him disappear into her bedroom. A moment later you turn towards the window and smile, “Took you longer than usual.”

    “Grayson kept complaining about how you’re potentially dangerous.”

    “I’m lethal.”

    Damian snorts, “To everyone but Jason and Rosie.”

    You wave him away, “Go spoil your niece squirt.”

    “Technically she’s my cousin, Aunt Y/N.”

    You roll your eyes, “Be gone brat.”

    He shrugs and walks into your daughter’s room, settling back in with your book you listen to the sound of your daughter’s giggles and smile.

Terrible Twos(Batboys)

Bruce:

  • Okay let’s get something straight.
  • This man has only had to take care of kids from like 10 and up.
  • He never had to deal with an actual child.
  • Jesus Christ this man is so unprepared.
  • And with his genes, it’s probably much worse.
  • But hey, you’re the best at hide & seek.
  • If you thought he didn’t sleep before that oohh boy.
  • He’s probably crying internally.
  • Screaming children are not his thing
  • But let’s get another thing straight,
  • He still loves you.
  • With all his damn heart.
  • And he will do his best to protect you and make you feel loved.
  • He probably reads every parenting book he can find
  • Before eventually going to Alfred.
  • And man Alfred is a f**king champ.
  • He knows everything.
  • Meanwhile everyone is panicking and frantically searching for you, Alfie over here just casually pulls the cabinets open and picks you up.
  • “Aren’t you a curious little lad/lady? Just like your father.
  • (I think this turned into an alfred headcanon lmao)
  • Alfred helps Bruce set the bed time(god does this man even know what a bed time is??)
  • He also help with proper foods.
  • But let me tell ya.
  • No matter how busy Bruce is, no matter where he is, he manages to always read a bedtime story, and wish you sweet dreams.
  • If anyone were to ever hurt you, whether it be emotional, physical, or mentally, he will give them hell.

Dick:

  • My oh my
  • My boy has so many nicknames for you.
  • And they’re all weird as heck.
  • Every weekend he steals you(no, literally jumps through your window and kidnaps you) for a playdate.
  • Takes you out for icecream and to the amusement park a lot
  • You’re spoiled rotten because of this guy.
  • Honestly is probably the easiest to bond to.
  • But he doesn’t spoil you too much.
  • At some point in time, Alfred puts his foot down.
  • Movie nights of Disney are frequent.
  • So many recordings of his baby sister singing and dancing.
  • If Bruce somehow isn’t able to read to you, he’s over in a flash with 3 books, reading them to you. 
  • Later, when Bruce is back, he reads to you the next night.

Jason:

  • Probably has so many shirts with funny texts on them
  • “Touch my sister punk and I’ll knock ya into next week”
  • Carries you around everywhere.
  • All his teammates coo at you.
  • Meanwhile Bruce is having yet another heart attack.
  • One time he found you with his helmet on wobbling and trying to act like him.
  • He dies(again)
  • Tough Brother TM
  • He babies you though.
  • Like if you cry 11/10 times he spoils you.
  • He just doesn’t like seeing his sister cry.
  • Bizzaro loves playing with you though.
  • He makes sure not to be rough when playing though.
  • AFTER ALL YOU ARE JUST THE TINIEST HUMAN HE HAS EVER SEEN

Tim:

  • Surprisingly, it isn’t Bruce or Dick who are the first to be there when you have a nightmare.
  • He’s always there.
  • He is so overprotective too.
  • Sets extra cameras around your room and the manor.
  • So when you stir awake from a nightmare, he stops what he’s doing and sits down with you, bringing his laptop with him to continue working.
  • Bruce walked one time to find you both passed out next to each other.
  • You were clinging to his hair but Tim did not care at all.
  • “TIM MOVE YOUR COFFEE!!”
  • “Oh….oH SHIT DON’T DRINK THAT
  • Lets you sit on his lap while he’s working.
  • One time you actually helped him with his work.
  • He couldn’t figure out a code and he was almost there and you pressed on of the keys and YAY code solved.
  • Still to this day thinks it’s coincidence. It probably was but-
  • He can never be mad at you though. Like, sometimes you’ll get into things an he just sighs and moves you away.
  • Don’t get me wrong though, he does tell you that what you did was bad.

Damian:

  • “They are my blood sibling therefore we have more connection and I’m of more importance to them”
  • Yeah okay Dami.
  • Dude your room is like, overflowing with pets.
  • I mean you as a kid appreciate it but Bruce cannot keep track of every animal to feed, and how to keep Jason from not eating them, and jesus christ is that another chicken-
  • “What do you mean she can’t hold a sword?”
  • DAMIAN SHE’S TWO
  • If you show him your drawing he gives honest criticism.
  • You probably don’t understand half of what he’s saying.
  • So you giggle and move on.
  • He keeps all of your drawings though.
  • He shows them off to Jon a lot.
  • Jon gives him a confused look but enjoys them nonetheless.
  • “Dami!”
  • “YOU HEAR THAT SHE SAID MY NAME PEASANT SCUM!!”
  • LANGUAGE
  • “Scum!!”
  • DAMN IT DAMIAN
8

Red carpet arrivals at the 66th Academy Awards in 1994: Anthony Hopkins, Jeremy Irons and Sinead Cusack, Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh, Al Pacino, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Alex Kingston, Antonio Banderas, Daniel Day-Lewis (x)