im so bad at telling you this or im so off course
as if a nematode became human
i try to express myself to beautiful people
beautiful! so much
more beautiful than me,
much much more. honestly.
once i had a dream
i poured my heart out
i said can we, will we, will you?
when the scaffolding was well defined between us,
when the invitation i set out was heard but not honored,
probably i make too much of things. wishes.
i am ridiculous. i know.
probably i am recyclable as an egg carton, or
even more so equally.
i wait for recognition and get none.
i pause and wait.
its because im cardboard. or bicarbonate of soda.
its because im lint.
i try to say
can we please
can we please just celebrate each other
and not drown in the world.
can we please!
i have to go to bed now.
i love you tho. you.
sleep soundly you. sleep.
i hope you are cozy.
i hope i am cozy too.
in a moment you and me,
we will be forgotten.
not even forgotten.
more than that.
we will be the absence of knowing.
there will be no one to know.
in a moment. we never existed.
i keep looking for someone who gets this,
someone who understands that
this is our moment of time, and that
together, we can create our own world
separate from this world of insanity.
im probably naive.
probably it is impossible.
so never mind.
i know im a nematode,
a puff of lint in a pocket,
a tangle of an eyelash of something real.
my beauty is nonexistent when i think of you.