recovery probs


what’s your favourite color? what’s your lucky number?
what do you want to be when you grow up?

BPD and my relationships
  • Me: *feels alone and searches for someone to talk to*
  • Guy: Hi. Wanna talk?
  • Me: *idealizes him* *talks with him on a daily basis*
  • Guy: Wow, I really like you. Wanna hang out some more?
  • Me: *freaking* *tells him about BPD and how horrible it can get*
  • Guy: I am okay with that. I like you and I won't go away.
  • Me: No, you will abandon me. And I don't deserve someone who likes me. you will just hurt me anyways. When I like people they leave me. And you will be bored with me at one point and then abandon me when you found out how horrible I really am. *wishes that he will stay anyways*
  • Guy: *keeps trying*
  • Me: *abandons him*
  • Guy: *gives up*
  • Me: See. Everyone does that. Eveyone leaves. They don't really care, even if they say otherwise. I am horrible. I deserve to feel alone. I shouldn't be near anybody.
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Me: *feels alone and searches for someone to talk to*