recovery is worth it

Listen Up

You are under NO OBLIGATION to make excuses for your abuser

No matter what is going on in their personal life, they have NO RIGHT to use you as an outlet, emotionally, physically, psychologically, or sexually

No matter what they may have done for you in the past, YOU OWE THEM NOTHING now

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGIVE; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGET

YOUR ONLY OBLIGATION IS TO YOURSELF

To your recovery

To saying to yourself every day, over and over until you believe it

That you did not deserve what they did to you

That you are valid

That you are allowed to feel this way

That you do not have to get better overnight

That you are perfect and deserve to take your time to believe in yourself again

That you will get better

That you will get stronger

Until one day you can look them in the eye and tell them that

YOU DESERVE BETTER

AND THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEY CAN EVER HOPE TO BE

It’s okay to miss people. Just realize that people change and what was good for you then may not be good for you now.

“You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t find yourself in. You’re allowed to leave any story you don’t love yourself in.

You’re allowed to leave a city that has dimmed your light instead of making you shine brighter, you’re allowed to pack all your bags and start over somewhere else and you’re allowed to redefine the meaning of your life.

You’re allowed to quit the job you hate even if the world tells you not to and you’re allowed to search for something that makes you look forward to tomorrow and to the rest of your life.

You’re allowed to leave someone you love if they’re treating you poorly, you’re allowed to put yourself first if you’re settling and you’re allowed to walk away when you’ve tried over and over again but nothing has changed.

You’re allowed to let toxic friends go, you’re allowed to surround yourself with love, and people who encourage and nurture you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.

You’re allowed to forgive yourself for your biggest and smallest mistakes and you’re allowed to be kind to yourself, you’re allowed to look in the mirror and actually like the person you see.

You’re allowed to set yourself free from your own expectations.”

- Rainia Nam (Huffington Post)

Smart girls are the over thinkers, the insecure ones, the different ones. They know what the real world is like. They analyze every little thing in life. Why? To avoid getting hurt. To find happiness. They stay up at night trying to think about every possible situation to get through all the problems. They think too much, they trust less people. Their insecurity proves their respect towards themselves. Smart girls know their worth, now that’s the ones worth keeping by your side.
When you left, I felt broken. Sleep was a long lost friend, and eating became a lengthy process I hardly had the energy for. But now that it’s been a while, I’m better. I’ve gotten used to not hearing the music you call your voice and have become more of a fan of my own. My heart doesn’t drop into my stomach at the thought of you, it just beats. I smile, I laugh, I live. Now that I can think clearly, I realize that I never really lost anything when you disappeared, besides you. I was whole all along.
—  NaPoWriMo Day 14 - Whole // Maxwell Diawuoh