recovery community

Inspired Healing

A little bottle to focus on a general healing and well being of a person.


  • Sea Salt
  • Lavender
  • Rosemary
  • Sage
  • Bay
  • Mugwort
  • Cinnamon
  • Sandalwood Oil
  • Pink Candle

Salt for purification, to lay a clean foundation

Lavender to inspire peace from any pain or discomfort

Rosemary to bring a feeling of youth again

Sage for inspiring long life

Bay and Mugwort to give strength during the healing process

Cinnamon to encourage fast healing and recovery

Sandalwood oil for success and healing

Pink candle for wax seal to inspire healing and positive thoughts


The first incarnation of this bottle was a loose incense to burn on a charcoal disk. It originally just didn’t have salt. It was made for my father, who had a problem with his heart and was having trouble with day to day activities. 

You could forgo a seal and choose to burn the mixture on a charcoal disc, it’s up to you. 

I ended up using pink salt for aesthetic again at the top. A kind of bookend to the intention to purify the body. 

The brain does weird things when you deprive it of food.

And I don’t mean just calorically. Even if you’re eating 2000, 3000 calories a day in recovery, if they’re all safe, you’re still going to be obsessed with food and what you “can’t” have.

(AKA a friendly reminder to challenge yourself today.)

2

28/100

I hate Cartesian dualism and I’m stupidly insecure about my body at the moment. I’ve come so far in recovering from my blip with an ED but I’m not all the way there yet and I’m definitely not made of stone. It’s hard to focus on down days but I need to get these grades.

When I love, I love with no space for the black and white, no area for the grey.
I love at the fullest intensity, with every color on the spectrum beaming, basking it its glory, despite its insecurity and vulnerability.
Sometimes the clarity is off, sometimes it’s faded, other times there’s a filter over all of it to protect myself from the brightness of it all.
I think it’s too vivid, I think I’m wrong for feeling things so deeply and radiating these colors that mix together and sometimes create a muddy mess.
Maybe my colorful heart isn’t wrong.
Maybe loving with everything inside of me isn’t a death sentence.
Maybe the rainbow ribbons swirling around me aren’t going to strangle me.
Maybe being threaded with every shade of color possible isn’t such a horrible attribute after all.  
Someday someone will appreciate the colors.
But for now I’ll have to learn to appreciate them myself.
For now I have to embrace the luminosity instead of dimming it.
Now I have to love myself.
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write | #34 | recovery part v
I'm so proud of myself right now!

I have compulsive spending from my BPD and I needed to save up $500 in less than a month for my trip for pride even on Saturday.

I checked my balance a few minutes ago so I could do the withdraw and I saved up $700! I can afford the gas and food now too! my parents were going to have to pay for that otherwise!!!

and I also didn’t have any self harm or suicide urges today!!!!!

I’m proud of myself!!!!!

@nd tumblr

I think it really needs to be said in a more formal way why mental illness Tumblr seriously needs to evaluate what they’re doing. Before I get into this, I wanna say that I know this is just a website and I have a choice in what communities I interact with, but when you are living in an abusive environment and you have nobody to look to but your abusers you usually go to social media. I went to Tumblr because it is the most accepting when it comes to mental illness to some extent, because people didn’t immediately judge me or hate me for my symptoms.

Note: sorry for the strange school-esque organization, i just did headings to make it easier to read for people

Anti-recovery and promoting unhealthy mindsets

For the most part, mental illness Tumblr barely promotes recovery or healthy coping mechanisms. Mi Tumblr (mental illness Tumblr) is mostly talking about symptoms in a unhealthy way and are just saying that suffering is a good thing. I completely understand that being mentally ill comes with a ton of negativity within yourself. It is healthy to talk about your problems, it’s good to be open and to reach out to others, but never promoting good vibes or good coping mechanisms in return is not helping. When someone is having any type of episode, they need help, maybe not immediately for some people because they are in too bad of a state to immediately recover from the episode (just listen to what they need), but they should get support and comfort sometime soon. It’s absolutely ideal to recover and/or get in the habit of healthy coping mechanisms. I feel that mi Tumblr isn’t helping us recover or creating a safe environment for nd folk by not normalizing healthy mindsets and healthy coping mechanisms, they are normalizing the suffering and unhealthy ways to deal with your symptoms. Most posts are just talking about our awful experiences and then ending it there. There is literally no support or comfort afterwards. I understand wanting to relate with others when talking about your mental health. It’s great to know that others are going through the same and you’re not alone, but just do not end it there, for your own health. Try to make a support system for each other with this person since they relate with you. Talk about it with people and try to help each other out. One more example I want to bring into light, is when people reblog others personal posts. Personal posts are for venting and it’s not made for others to spread, but people reblog it anyway for the aesthetic and are not taking the op’s feelings seriously.

I want to get this through with a lot of people that recovering or improving in controlling or coping with your symptoms does not make you invalid. It is okay to recover, it does not make you obsolete to the mental illness community.

Memes within the community 

I want to speak about the whole meme thing going on about mental illness. I can understand that joking about stuff can help you cope, but making mi this huge meme isn’t good for a lot of people. For nd folk, making these memes within the community makes them feel like it’s okay to suffer, like it’s okay and a laughing matter to be depressed or that “lmao i wanna kill yourself everyday.” People make all of these jokes and then say nothing about help and don’t express care for those who are suffering afterwards, it’s just a joke to them. It just promotes more anti-recovery for people. My boyfriend has had actual problems within the community where he would be feeling down and terrible and say “I feel depressed,” and people would actually laugh at him, because it’s a meme within the community to say “I’m so depressed,” or like i said earlier, “I wanna kill myself everyday.” I’ve had similar experiences where I would say “I want to fucking die,” or that “I hate living,” and I am actually entirely genuine and I feel suicidal as hell and people just laugh. People laugh, because they think it’s just a funny meme that everyone parrots in the mi community. It makes me feel disheartened and I regret being open about it because people just laugh within the community because they think i’m just making a meme. All of our feelings aren’t a joke and every nd person knows that, so don’t create these mi memes that we laugh at when they’re an actual serious matter. I understand venting with making jokes, I really do, but do not post it and make it go viral, just keep it personal if you need a way to say something without all of the heavy feelings carried with it. Saying a joke about your mi to avoid talking about the heavy feelings and just mentioning it in a not serious tone is not the best way to tell someone about your problems though. It should be normalized to talk about the heavy emotions when it comes to your feelings, you shouldn’t repress it with making a meme to mask what you’re really feeling. I can understand being afraid of disclosing something that personal to people and saying a joke instead, to sort of say something but not really be serious. Even though this makes sense, try your best to sit down with someone and really talk about your issues to avoid the awkwardness that the jokes could create and also avoid repressing your feelings. These memes about mi to me are just a way of repressing what we truly feel and I don’t think it’s healthy to do that. It should be communnity-wide to feel safe when talking about the heavy stuff and not ignore your feelings, bottling it all up.

Peer pressure

Mi Tumblr makes people feel like they should experience constant negative symptoms to fit in. (”You have to be this negative and upset to be mentally ill”) Having this pressure to be in a perpetuating negative state expressed so often in the community can make us not want to recover because they want to maintain their bad habits to fit in. If you end up recovering or noticing you’re getting better you’ll feel invalid and self conscious about this and want to get back to the unhealthy mindset that Tumblr promotes. I can absolutely vouch for this, absolutely. I have a bunch of mental problems and when I started to date my boyfriend I got a whole lot better about my mental health and I felt I was really starting recovery finally. I looked back at mi Tumblr and I started to get afraid I wasn’t valid as being mentally ill anymore and I started to get back to square 1 because of the lack of talk about recovery in the community. My boyfriend has had same experiences and I also talked to one of my friends about this and she said Tumblr has made her feel mentally worse ever since she joined.

Age groups

The majority of the mi community are minors and are really young in general, and I feel having all of the above normalized in this community is awful to teach these kids at such a young age. The friend I mentioned in the “Peer pressure” paragraph at the ending when I said “I also talked to one of my friends about this and she said Tumblr has made her feel mentally worse ever since she joined,” she is 14 y.o. 

Overall, just learning all of the crap from mi Tumblr is honestly really bad for the minors in the community. For those of you who cannot turn to anything but social media: try to find someone with the same problems as you and create a support system. Try to share coping mechanisms that could help or be there for each other whenever. Make support groups and try to steer away from mi Tumblr, it’s unhealthy as fuck. I could sit and talk about all of the awful coping mechanisms I have seen on this site, but that would be a whole new post. Don’t listen to that stuff, if it involves triggering you or making you upset or lying to yourself in the slightest, just don’t do it. Be safe and treat yourselves right and try to recover together and help each other out. Enough of this perpetuating negativity in the community.

Note: Please add to this post if you want to

Review.

We saw our CPN and had a review, it’s safe to say we’re feeling unsettled following it. Our system is adapting to all the changes moving house brings and we have had workers change roles so the changes are getting a little bit too overwhelming. I feel like I’m living in a bubble of dissociation and denial right now.

Our risk assessment is worse than before which instantly made me feel like shit because it feels like I’m going backwards though I know recovery is full of ups and downs. She was asking about the new scars Red made on our arm and asking about my own suicidal thoughts.. I try hard to be open but I don’t trust her and don’t see her often enough to really feel comfortable having that conversation.

She also questioned our therapy situation. Obviously with it being private it’s between us and our therapist but she was asking what the time frame is for it as we’ve been going 6 years and started talking about people who get too reliant on therapists. I explained that our therapist and I have actually talked about this and don’t think this is the case - she is more than just a therapist to us because she is the only irl person apart from my partner who has been there for us consistently, no matter how bad things got, and she has always gone above and beyond to help us. She and my partner are the reasons we’re alive right now. That sounds melodramatic but it is true. Our CPN then said some people are in therapy all their lives so kind of mixed messages there..

We’re no longer seeing the new Mind worker because she reminds us of someone we don’t want to think about. No one will replace her, not for some time anyway. There is no chance of seeing our old one (which we had been told was a possibility) so I’m gutted about that. I shouldn’t have got my hopes up but hey.. Soon we’ll stop seeing the NHS support worker (who has been involved in our care for over 7 years) and she won’t be replaced. Our CPN is going to be replaced at some point but they still don’t know when (it was originally meant to be last November but it keeps getting put off..) It’s stopped me opening up to this one much because I’m not going to open up to someone who I know is going to leave soon.

We have to go in for a review of our direct payments in August, which is basically funding for 8 hours a week support - 2 hours was with Mind, 6 hours with the lady who takes us to therapy twice a week (it’s an hour away so a 3 hour round trip each time). Obviously the Mind support is stopping but we can’t lose the other 6 hours. My partner isn’t well enough to drive us to therapy. I can drive but can’t be alone and haven’t actually driven in a couple of years.

When we have the review our CPN said we’ll have to say how the funding is helping our progress and explain to them our plans for any continued funding - she said if it’s just taking us to therapy they won’t fund it for long as they need to see you’re building on it.. but that’s not all she does - that’s 6 hours a week we manage to leave the house without my partner and 6 hours a week my partner gets to herself (we are literally always together apart from that). It helps our independence, it’s someone else for our support network, it’s a new friend, and of course it’s getting us to the one therapy option that has ever worked and continues to work for us. But I have to think of what to say to them to prove that it’s more than “just” that because apparently they don’t fund unless they see relatively fast progress..

Urgh. Sorry now I’m ranting. That funding is the one useful thing the NHS actually does for us now. We’ve lost our old Mind worker who was getting us out the house without my partner, we can’t see the new Mind worker because of triggers. We will lose the NHS support worker. We will have another CPN at some point “soon” when they get their asses in gear. I don’t even know who our psychiatrist is right now because I haven’t had a meds review in over a year (though to be fair I don’t think I need one). Inpatient and crisis services aren’t an option for us anymore. The one thing I need the NHS to keep doing is the direct payments so we can get to therapy.

We can barely afford the therapy itself (which we have to pay for because the NHS couldn’t provide any therapy in the first place). We really can’t afford the therapy and the travel costs. The lady who takes us can’t do it for free and I wouldn’t ask her to. It’s literally our only option and now I’m already anxious about a review that is over 2 months away.

If you’ve read all this thank you, I do apologise I wasn’t intending it to be such a rant. I’m just feeling quite overwhelmed and paranoid that we’re relying too much on our therapist. The CPN said ask yourself if the therapist had to suddenly stop seeing you for some reason how would you cope and internally we were saying we’d fall apart. Does that mean we’re reliant? Abandonment issues are popping up, we don’t want to lose our therapist.

bullying is a valid trauma

bullying can give you a traumagenic disorder

bullying can absolutely ruin your ability to function

bullying affects all victims differently. just because someone was able to shake theirs off as mean jokes doesn’t make you weak for being harmed by it.

small incidents can be just as harmful as big incidents

victims of bullying who consider it trauma are allowed within the trauma recovery communities. they’re trauma is just as valid as anyone elses.

My dear lgbt+ children who fight against any kind of addiction, 

Statistically speaking, around 50% of lgbt+ people battle addiction at some point of their lives. You are certainly not alone! 

Please remember: 

You are strong. 

I believe in you. 

You deserve all the help you need. 

Needing help is not shameful. 

Asking for help is a sign of bravery and strength. 

You are more than your addiction. 

You deserve true happiness. 

Your voice in the lgbt+ community matters. 

Your voice in the recovery community matters. 

You matter. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom