1. Write down what your values are.
For example: I value integrity, kindness, intelligence and compassion.
Keep that list close to you, so that when you are confused as to how you should behave in comparison to what you think someone else expects of you, you can look to see if you are behaving in line with your value system.
2. Write down some of your non-weight-related life goals.
For example: I want to read a lot of Dostoyevsky and write a historical fiction romance novel about the French Revolution and travel to Haiti and work with sick babies.
Then, if you hate yourself because you ate chocolate cake or if you feel that you’re not good enough because you haven’t gone to Bikram class, then you realize that being skinny isn’t your actual lifelong goal, you have other things that you’re focusing on. You can then refocus on who you are and what you really want to be doing.
3. Stop analyzing other people’s thoughts.
For example: If you find yourself at a party thinking, Oh, he thinks I said something stupid, she thinks I’m fat… etc. You are projecting your own thoughts about yourself onto other people. You have no idea what other people are thinking about you. And, as they say, what other people think of you is none of your business. The only thoughts that you know for sure and they only ones that matter are what you think of yourself, so it’s important to do things that make you like yourself. And, the truth of the matter is, people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry too much about others (this is called the Principle of Enlightened Self-Interest). And if they are sitting around thinking about others– well then what a boring life they must have!
4. Try not to second guess yourself.
It can make you paralyzed and unable to move forward. Even if you make the wrong decision, know that you have the ability to take care of the situation, no matter what. What’s most important is that you make sure to do your best at any given moment; the past is merely a reference for learning lessons.
5. Go forward on your own path.
Accept who you are instead of wishing you were like someone else. Everyone is given their own journey in this lifetime, and we all start out at different places with different gifts so it’s not only unhelpful — it’s really impossible to compare. Instead of becoming absorbed in other people’s paths and journeys, focus on making the most progress at your own path. When you spend time wishing you were like others or thinking you should be more like them, you stop growing.
6. Let go of unnecessary judgment of others.
This is a great way to practice letting-go of self-judgment. By learning to accept others for who they are, and to love and appreciate them despite differences and mistakes, you implicitly learn to do the same for yourself. If you find yourself thinking something judgmental, ask yourself if it’s helpful. Some judgments (like determining someone’s trustworthiness) are helpful and useful because they help you find people you can count on. Others, like mentally criticizing a stranger’s clothing choices, aren’t. The stranger’s clothing choices probably don’t affect you; your opinion doesn’t affect them in any positive way. In addition, all the time/focus/mental energy you spend on that judgment is taking away from your pursuit of your aforementioned goals and values.
7. Remember that it is a process.
This isn’t something that happens overnight, it’s something that takes practice and at which you will probably mess up sometimes. That is more than fine, because there aren’t really “mess ups” at all — just opportunities for reflection and improvement.
(found here and modified)