Glenn: I’m not suicidal, I’m not depressed, I don’t like to swim with the fishes, I don’t like concrete boots. I’m a very good driver, I just had my brakes checked. So, if something happens, I think you might know who did it.
Stephen: Oh my God. Glenn’s chalkboard is going to kill him!
Narrator: The extraordinary story of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy begins very simply. It begins with a man. An Earth man, to be precise, who no more knows his destinythan a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company. His name is Arthur Dent. He is a five-foot-eight-inch tall ape descendent and someone is trying to drive a bypass through his house.
Mark Darcy: I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.
Demetri: By the way, if you want to sound like a creep, just add the word “ladies” to the end of things that you say. You sound like a creep. Could be harmless too. Like, “Thanks for coming to my show. Ladies. Help! I’ve fallen into a well and I’m trapped! Ladies. It’s like a jacuzzi with really high walls. You know you want it.”
Jarrod: How would you like it if I went over to your place… and just started touching everything? Like your books and your oven, or your computer. How about I started messing around on your computer and changed the settings. Changed your bloody desktop picture?