This is the box art for Amnesia: The Dark Descent, when it hits real world shelves.

This is possibly the most hideous box art I’ve ever seen. But, hey, you deserve it for not having Steam.

It is a great game though, so if you haven’t already got it, and you don’t have Steam for whatever lame reason, get it in one of those ‘shop’ places.

February 22nd is when it’s hiding in the shelves, terrified, clutching its lantern. Oh wait, that’s me.

Nuzlocke Challenge Entry #4; Gary Who?

I haven’t updated this much, due to the fact that I’ve mainly been training up my pokemon in preperation for Misty. There’ve been a few developments among my team, however.

First of all, I caught a Bellsprout:

Frederick, lvl 17
Gentle Nature
Ability: Chlorophyll

The bigger news, however, is that both Mike and my Spearow (which I forgot to name) have evolved. I now have a Raticate and Fearow!

Anyway, I took on Gary and pretty much One-hit-KO’d his pokemon. Im just training up Frederick now and then I’ll take on those trainers that hang around north of Nugget Bridge, before finally facing Misty. Bring it on.

Get it off! by jaekwon15

I completed Deadly Premonition the other day and it is now my favourite game ever, tied with Half-Life 2. The thing is, hardly anyone has heard of it. And this makes me very sad. So to impress upon people how strange a game it really is, here’s the protagonist, Special Agent Francis York Morgan (call him York, everybody does), being attacked.

Yeah. Some zombies bite or punch. These stick their hands down your throat and choke you. Eep.

Very good game. If you have an Xbox 360 or PS3, you have no excuse for not getting this.

You don’t even recognize me, do you writer? You think you’re god? You think you can just make up stuff? Play with peoples lives and kill them when you think it adds to the drama? You’re in this story now and I’ll make you suffer! You’re a joke. There wouldn’t be a single readable sentence in your books if it wasn’t for your editor. You’ll never publish another one of your shitty stories, ‘cause I’m gonna’ kill you…
—  The Taken Hitchhiker, my favourite quote from Alan Wake
Drawn: The Painted Tower Review

(Been a long time since I did a review!)

Drawn: The Painted Tower is a gorgeous Point and Click adventure game released by Big Fish Games. You can be forgiven, just about, for not having heard of it but I do heartily recommend it. I can truly say that it was one of the most original games I have played in a long time. The story involves you climbing through the various levels of a tower (of the painted variety) in order to rescue Isis, a small girl trapped atop it. While you’re doing this, an unknown force is approaching the castle, meaning you have to work quickly. However, the tower itself has fallen into disrepair and your route is often blocked. The owner has been transformed into a statue, so it is up to you to find a way through. Isis herself has left help in the form of magical paintings, which you can enter, and magical drawings, which come to life to help you out.

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Sega installs a games console in Urinals

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Sounds ludicrous doesn’t it? I’m not making it up though. Titled ‘Toylets’, these mini-games consoles are getting a try out in Tokyo. The selection of games that are built in require you to strategically control the strength of your urine stream to play. Because, y'know, maintaining a constant accurate stream is so last year.

The Urinal has a pressure sensor and LCD screen and, so far, it comes with four games:

'Mannekin Pis’ - Simply measures how hard you’re pissing.
'Graffiti Eraser’ - Tasks you with removing paint with a hose. Which would make community service a lot more interesting.
'The North Wind and Her’ - Where you play as the wind and the harder you piss the harder the wind blows. The object of the game? To blow a girl’s skirt up. It’s Japan.
'Milk From Nose’ - Rather self-explanatory. The harder you fire your golden stream, the harder milk sprays from the nose of your avatar. It’s multiplayer as well. If you spray hard enough, you can knock the previous user of the Urinal’s avatar out of the ring. Then you can be toilet, sorry, Toylet buddies. You can even save your high scores on a USB stick to show your friends. Before they demand you get a breathalyser test, presumably.

It isn’t all about games though. They’ll even show you adverts in between gaming sessions so you can learn about interesting new products while you pee.

Personally, I was hoping for a Sonic game, where the harder you pee the faster he runs. Sadly, no.