• “My stupid friends roped me into a mall scavenger hunt and you’re on the list” AU
• “We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike” AU
• “You’re adopting the cat that I’ve been trying to adopt for a week now” AU
• “You just moved into the house next to my mom’s and she has you doing her yardwork” AU
• “I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me” AU
• “My brother/sister asked me to break up with you for them i’m so sorry” AU
• “I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU
• “Our dick landlord just evicted us both” AU
• “We both just moved in with our siblings and they’re neighbors” AU
• “I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name” AU
• “Your cat got my cat pregnant and now I have all these kittens please take them” AU
• “I’m your ex, you are a cop, and I just got arrested for being drunk and disorderly” AU
• “Remember that one time in college when we were at that party and you asked a random stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah well that was me and we’re adults now” AU
• “You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating” AU
• “You’re a cop, I’m a firefighter, we always work the same shifts” AU
• “You always ask me for help but I have weird health conditions that prevent me from doing so” AU
• “Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his” AU
• “My kid just shot a bottle rocket into your window” AU
• “We’re both in the vegetable isle and I just burst into tears while staring at the cabbages” AU
• “That’s my fucking fish that you just caught give it back” AU
• “I’ve had a crush on you since the 11th grade but you’ve hated me ever since that one time” AU
• “The advertisement did not do you justice” AU
• “You jipped me of those concert tickets so I came to your house asshole” AU
• “You think I’m nervous because you’re interviewing me for this high end job but actually it’s because you’re stupidly hot” AU
• “Oh shit this isn’t my car” AU
• “You fell off the map 6 years ago and you think you can just waltz back into my life. Literally. You’re the dance instructor for my best friend’s wedding and we have history” AU
• “It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked ” AU
• “My dad’s a cancer patient and you’re his nurse” AU
• “Did I mention that I had a dream about you last night? Oh right we’ve never talked about before” AU
• “Lol this was a terrible idea” AU
• “juSt a game? jUST A GaMe????? FUCK YOU I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN” or the “so competitive it’s almost sexual” AU
• “Aren’t you the person from marti gras last year?” AU
• “We’re both on the same multiple stop flight schedules to go to the same destination so we might as well stick together. Also your shoulder is a very comfortable pillow.” AU
• “Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough” AU
• “We’re in an exam study group and I just send you my nudes by accident oops” AU
• “Somehow my gallery sculpture piece looks exactly like you how weird” AU
• “That tattoo on your chest is the exact same as mine” AU
• “I was actually awake when you did that thing” AU
• “Why do we keep running into each other when we live on opposite sides of the country?” AU
• “We need to be really quiet but you have the hiccups” AU
• “Why do you always walk your dog at exactly 12am every night? Do you not enjoy sleep?” AU
• “For the love of God, what is making that noise?” AU
• “Somehow you manage to scare me everytime we run into each other and i already get frightened very easily let me live” AU
Here’s a really long list of a ton of the more simple/generic AU’s I’ve seen floating around. I made this list for personal reference and figured having so many all in one place might be helpful to others, too. I tried my best to alphabetize but I can’t promise it’s entirely correct. Hope you enjoy!
-1920’s -1920’s con artist -1940’s noir -1960’s -3DS friends -6 weeks to live
-A Walk to Remember -Accidentally falls asleep on stranger -Accidentally hugging stranger thinking they’re someone else -Accidentally read their journal -Accidentally swapped items and have to return it -Accidentally take each other’s bags -Action hero -Addicts -Adventure -Affair -Afterlife -Airport -Airport bar -Aladdin -Alchemists Alice in Wonderland -Alpha/beta/omega -Alternate history -Amnesia -Ancient Egypt -Ancient mediterraneans -Ancient orientals -Ancient slavs -Android and human -Animal -Angel -Antique shop -Apocalypse -Archaeologists -Architect -Around the world -Arranged marriage -Arthurian era -Artist -Assassins -Asylum -Author and fan
-Babysitter -Back in time -Bakery -Band/musician -Bank robbers -Bar -Barista(s) -Battle of the bands -Bayside -Beach -Beauty and the Beast -Childhood friends reunited -Big Brother -Blind -Blind date -Boarding school -Bonnie and Clyde -Book club -Bookshop -Borrow payphone money -Both cosplay same character at con -Both stood up for blind dates -Break up -Bride Wars -Brothel -Bucket list -Butler
-Camp counselors -Camping -Carnival -Castaways -Catfish -Catfish uncoverer -Celebrity -Centaur -Changeling -Charmed -Cheerleading -Childhood companions -Cinderella -Circus -Civil war (American or otherwise) -Civilian and agent -Clubbing -Coffeeshop -College -College roommates -Comic artist and assistant -Conartists -Cop/detective -Costars in a movie -Cowboy -Craigslist meetup -Crashed their car -Crime spree -Criminal -Criminals on the run -Cruel Intentions -Cruise ship -Cursed -Cyber date -Cyberpunk -Cyborg
-Death race -Demon -Demon and angel -Detective -Deserted island -Destructive relationship -Disneyworld cosplayers -Dinosaurs -Disturbia -Doctor(s) -Doctor and patient -Doctor Who -Dog walker -Domestic -Dragon -Dream -Drug smugglers -Drunk calling the wrong person -Drunk texting a stranger -During war
-Edwardian era -Egyptologists -Elements (earth, water, fire, air) -Elf -Elizabethan era -Enchanted -English class -Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -Eternal winter -Explorers (any time period)
-Fair -Fairy -Fairytale -Fake family -Faking It -Family doctor -Famous and fan -Farm -FBI -Festival -Fight Club -First time -Flower Shop -Forbidden romance -Foreign exchange program -Forest -Fortune cookie -Fortune teller and customer -Found their dog -Found their phone number in a library book -Fraternity -Freakshow -Friends with benefits -Fugitive -Futuristic -Futuristic resistance
-Game of life and death -Game of Thrones -Game show -Gang -Garden -Gardening -Gay for pay -Genderbend -Genderswap -Genie -Gets into a cab to find someone already in it -Gets lost at airport -Girl/guy next door -Ghibli movie -Ghost Adventures -Ghosts in love -Go to the same support group -Gods/demigods -Government spy -Greek God and Roman counterpart -Gypsy
-Hair stylist/makeup artist and actor/model -Halloween -Halloween party -Haunted -Haunted house -Have to take pictures for photography project -Heaven vs. Hell -Help moving -Heroes -Hidden talents -High class thieves -High School -High School reunion -High School teachers -Hiking -Hipster -Hitchhiker -Hitman -Hogwarts -Homeless -Horseback riding -Horror -Host/hostess and customer -Hostage -Hotel staff and guest -Hotel workers -Huge blizzard and only one hotel room left -Hunger Games -Hush Hush
-Jane Austen story -Journalists -Jurassic Park -Jury -Just keep running into each other everywhere -Juvie
-Kidnapping/ransom -Kindergarten teacher -Kiss bet -Kissogram -Kitsune
-Lab partners -Labyrinth -Laundromat -Law firm -Librarian -Library -Life guard -Little mermaid/merman -Looking for Alaska -Lose virginity bet -Lost -Lost at sea -Love triangle
-Mafia -Magic -Maid -Mailman and person who receives a lot of mail -Makeover -Marriage -Marriage contract -Masseuse -Masquerade -Mechanic -Medieval -Med school -Meet in diner at 2am -Mental hospital -Mermaid/merman/merfolk -Met at Comicon -Met on Tumblr -Met through online rpg -Military -Military school -Mindreader -Mirror world -Mistaken identity -Missed the same flight -Model -Modern royalty -Modern Tangled -Monster hunters -Monsters -Mortal Instruments -Movie rental shop -Movie star -Movie theater job -Murder mystery -Music bar -Music conservatory -Music teacher -Musician and fan -Mythology
-Nanny -Neolithic/tribal -New guy/girl -New Orleans -New neighbors -Nightmare on Elm Street Nuclear apocalypse -Nurse(s) -Nurse and patient Nursing home -Nymph
-Ocean -Office -Once Upon a Time -One’s blind and falls in love with the other’s voice -On of them is turned into a child -On opposite sides of a war - POW or spying -Orchestra player/pianist and concertgoer -Out walking their dog who starts chasing another person’s dog
-Pacific Rim -Paired together during an ice breaker -Pandemic apocalypse -Paralysis -Paramedics -Parenting -Park -Partners in crime (literally) -Partners in dance class -Past lives -Patients in mental hospital -Patients in same hospital ward -Pen pals -Personal trainer -Peter Pan -Pet runs away and other person finds it -Phantom of the Opera -Phone sex worker -Photographer -Photographer and model -Pilots -Pirate -Pirate and mermaid -Pixie -Poetry class -Pokemon -Police -Porn star -Poses nude for art students -Pretty Little Liars -Prisoner and guard -Prisoners/escaped prisoners -Private detective and client -Private investigator -Prohibition era -Project partners -Prom -Protester and police -Prostitute/escort -Public demonstrations -Punk rock
-Ranch -Reality TV show -Rebels against the government -Rebellion -Rehab -Reincarnation -Restaurant -Reunited -Rich family and servants -Riding the same bus -Riding the same bus multiple times -Rivals -Roadtrip -Roadtrip, serial killer -Roller derby -Robot -Roommates -Royalty and servant -Runaway royalty and confused commoner -Runaways -Running late for the same flight
-Sailor and mercreature -Sandman -SAW -Scavenger hunt -Scifi -Scream -Screenwriter and director -Sculptor -Selkie -Serial killer -Servant -Sex pact -Sex shop -Sex shop owner -Sex tape -Sex worker -Seven deadly sins -Shakespeare play -Share same layover -Sharing an umbrella -Siblings -Siblings best friend -Sits next to each other at an orchestra -Sits next to each other in theater -Sits next to each other on turbulent flight -Sitting by same wall plug -Skateboarder(s) -Skipping school -Slayer(s) -Sleepwalker -Sleepwalker in college dorm -Small town -Snowboarder(s) -Snowball fight, hits passerby -Snowhite and the Huntsman -Soldiers on opposing sides -‘Sorry about stealing your wallet last year, no I wasn’t drunk’ -Soul mates -Soulless -Space pirates -Space travel -Spartacus -gladiators or freed slaves against the Roman army -Specialty shop -Spectrumswap -Spin the bottle -Spring break -Stage magician and audience participant -Stardust -Step-siblings -Stranded -Steampunk -Strip club -Stripper -Struggling artists -Student and teacher -Study abroad -Stuffed animal becomes a person -Sucked into a video game -Suddenly become disabled/handicap -Suddenly caught in the rain -Summer job -Summer school -Superhero -Supernatural -Supernatural hunters -Superpowers -Surfing -Survivor
-Tailor and customer -Taken hostage at bank robbery -Tattoos and piercings -Tattoo parlor -Teacher and student -Ten Inch Hero -Terminal illness -The Breakfast Club -The Labyrinth -The one that got away -The Princess Diaries -The Vow -Theme park -Theme park mascots -Theme park workers -Theater -Therapist and patient -Therapist and patient in mental institution -Thieves on the run -Time traveler -Titanic -Tourist -Train ride -Translator -Trapped in an elevator -Trapped on a deserted island together -Treasure hunting -Triplets -Tutor and student -TV host -Twins
-Undercover lovers -Undercover stripper -Underwear model -Underworld -vampires vs lycans -Use someone’s charger -Use someone’s hotspot
-Vacation -Vampire -Veronica Mars -Vikings -Violinist(s) -Virtual world
-Waiter(s) -Wake up together in Vegas -Wedding -Werecat -Werewolves -What Happens in Vegas -White House -Wild West -Witch trials -Wizard AU where one accidentally apparates into the wrong house -World War II -Writer and editor -Wrong bag
Honestly, the movies are worth a shot just for Casca.
Griffith’s like… “I can be your angle”
“Or yuor devil”
Many people die in horribly gruesome ways and that’s always a plus for me. Aaaand, if you watch the movies you’ll understand why the following gif is therapeutic. (when you’re stressed you can stare at it to calm yourself, but only if you know what’s up with the plot)
Best for last, my favorite character, the beast, the warrior, the lover, the boyfriend goals, my sweet beefcake… Guts.
You will never love a man as much as you’ll love Guts. Trust me. Curious to see how much love you have to give to a hot mess of a hunk? Watch Berserk. (then read the manga for further heartbreaking love)
In Berserk the main characters aren’t what they seem and the plot twists are plot twists. Hardcore stuff, not pansy situations overhyped as shocking. Every important character has substance, even barely-any-screen-time little guys, there’s effort put into everyone. No one feels disposable. The love story might as well put your heart into a blender. The friendship story drinks the blended heart like a protein shake.
Berserk is a manga that’s been going on for a mind-blowing 28 years. There have been hiatuses but the art is consistently incredible and the story is well paced. As the author’s masterpiece, I’m sure it won’t let you down.
i feel like leorio is just a filler character i wish we would see more of him i hope we get an arc with leorio in it kurapika got an ova killua got an arc (zoldyck arc) and will gon is the main character
Leorio’s dream is to be literally a priceless doctor.
Leorio took the hunter exam knowing damn well he could die to be able to give a chance at life to those who can’t afford it.
Leorio attacked Hisoka with a stick.
Leorio opens the Testing Gate in the Zoldyck arc first.
Leorio calmed Kurapika down in Yorkshin arc low-key saving Killua and Gon’s lives.
Leorio looked several members of the Phantom Troupe in the eye and asked “the fuck you lookin’ at!!?” in the lights out act.
Leorio has the most beautiful sounding heartbeat in Yorknew.
Leorio has developed his nen while in med school.
Leorio is the only character with tough love for his friends. He’s always there to support them and call out their bullshit without restraint. Especially Kurapika’s.
Leorio accidentally almost became Chairman of the Hunter Association.
Leorio is part of the Zodiacs.
Leorio isn’t flashy and always in the center of attention as his other friends, but he is most definitely a pillar in their group and things would’ve been times more complicated without his cheery attitude and sharp reality checks.
you „stan“ a manipulative, white supremacist, barely talented, unbelievably rich cow with terrible hair and godawful dance moves. there are so many other great artists, that make music with actual value and finesse, maybe consider „stanning“ someone like that for a change instead of some odd persona a record label is spoonfeeding you : )
Dear anon, before starting throwing shade at us and Taylor herself, I think that you should check your sources and “facts” first, sit down and read this.
If this person is, I quote, “manipulative” and “a white supremacist”, then I would very much like to take a look at your sources and proof so that we can discuss about it although I have a feeling that most of your “proof” comes from teen magazines or from unreliable sources. I don’t know if you have looked up the definition of white supremacy before, but I will give it to you now: “White supremacy is a racist ideology based upon the belief that white people are superior in many ways to people of other races and that therefore white people should be dominant over other races.” Now, I don’t know how you can qualify Taylor as a white supremacist when she has many friends such as Uzo Aduba (with whom she performed at the 1989 World Tour) and Todrick Hall (who is also starring in her Look What You Made Me Do music video). Moving on, you may call her what you want and you may use terms such as “manipulative” or “unbelievably rich”, but here are some facts about her that you might have skipped:
• she might be rich, but she doesn’t keep the money to herself. In 2015, during Christmas, or as we like to call it, Swiftmas, she sent packages full of gifts to fans around the world. One of these fans was missing a certain amount of money for college, and since Taylor was aware of that, she sent her $1,989 including a lot of other gifts (I used this as a source because I couldn’t find the Tumblr post but y’all can help me later when I post this) (x)
• she has donated an endless amount of money to fans with illnesses, to organizations, visited them at hospitals, and even wrote an eponymous song called “Ronan” for a 4-year old that passed away because of cancer (just google the name of the song and “taylor swift hospital” and you’ll see)
• she gave a certain amount of money and dropped at a hotel a fan who had missed her bus after her concert
• she invites fans TO HER HOME and tells us secrets, bakes for us, stalks us on social media, knows more things about us than ourselves, and is genuinely happy to see us, AND SHE GIVES US THE BIGGEST AND BEST HUG OF OUR LIVES AND SHE DOESN’T LET YOU GO UNTIL YOU LET GO and the conversation between you two flows perfectly because it feels like you’re talking to your long-lost sister and you have so much to talk about (and I and other secret sessioners are the source for this and if you have any questions or you’re don’t believe us you are free to ask politely)
• if you take a look closer, all Taylor never even once ever started the drama. Don’t you think that it’s odd that people keep throwing shade at her for no valid reason when they could actually throw shade at Donald Trump because all he can say is “tremendous”?
• she knows so many things about us it’s insane. She likes our posts daily and interacts with us, even with some emojis, because she knows that it could make a person’s day, week, month, year, or maybe even your entire life. At award shows or any other public event, she doesn’t miss on the opportunity and surprises fans. Do you know any other celebrity who loves their fans so much that they travel to the other side of the world for them, help them financially, send them gifts, spends HOURS with them on social media and tries to meet as many of us as possible?
• she recently met a girl at a secret session who had possibly a miscarriage, and not only did Taylor make her laugh and made her feel better, but the next day, she received an e-mail from Taylor’s team with a specialized doctor’s address. When she asked how much she had to pay them, they replied that everything had already been covered (x)
I would have written more about this but unfortunately I’m running out of time, so I will let our TS defense squad to keep giving you reliable information.
I would like to formally announce you that whatever you may have heard about her is absolutely absurd, no matter where you found the information, or whether you think it’s true.
Also, her hair is so beautiful and I will defeat you if you dare to fight me on this, and who cares about her dance moves?????? Because if your definition of a good artist includes having nice hair and good dance moves then I think that we have a very different illustration of what talent is. I really think that you should listen to her album “Red” and then I’d like to see if you can write such lyrics and if you can represent feelings through instrumentals. You probably have no idea that she has been rewarded so many times throughout her career because of her talent, and she is one of the most awarded celebrities nowadays, yet she is only 27.
I would like to finish this before I go in class with a clarification. You see, I chose Taylor not only for her music, but also for who she is. She has been there for me when I most needed her, and she never failed to bring a smile to my lips in my darkest times. You have here an entire fandom that would agree with me and would gladly tell you specific reasons why everything she does is important to us and why she is so special. Because Taylor isn’t only a celebrity. She’s the person we’ve looked up to in the past few years. She’s our Aunt Becky. She’s our life savior, for many. She’s our ray of sunshine. But most importantly, she’s our best friend. And we have a relationship based on trust, love, and respect, and in all honesty, I think that it’s beautiful.
Neighbor kept reporting me to the HOA for petty things, opportunity knocked to pay her back and I took it.
I found out today that my revenge was complete so I came here to share it.
My neighbor who we shall call Chirsty would report us to our HOA for literally everything she didn’t like. Trash can still on the street at 5 PM on Trash day, reported. Kids bike outside while kids are still playing, reported. Didn’t mow this weekend (typically I do this Monday nights), reported Monday morning. Dog barking at 2 in the afternoon as she and her dog walk on the path behind our house, reported. In many cases these were not issues covered by the HOA, but due to repeated reporting the board did fine us and I had to go spend the evening waiting through a 2 hour meeting to have them removed. This kept happening and was driving me nuts. Both my wife and I spoke to her and tried to find out why she felt this was ok and she told us, “You just need to do a better job being a good neighbor.”
Fast forward to early this summer. She posts on a neighborhood website sharing a video about the anti-vax movement. In general the replies are pretty aggressive about telling her she is full of it, but she keeps pushing back leading to a super long post about how we all are wrong and we should listen because she is a doctor. She signs it “Dr Christy Lastname, Naturopathic Physician”
At this point I am mostly just wondering what the heck any kind of doctor would be against vaccines. This made no sense to me so I started digging. I did find that Christy was listed as a doctor on sites where you could find physicians. I dug more into what exactly a Naturopathic Physician was and found that in my state of Colorado they are regulated and required to maintain a license to practice. I checked into it and found out the following
Christy was NOT in the state database as a Naturopathic Physician
The board who regulates it has an online reporting tool
At this point I took all the information I had, grabbed screenshots and checked my timeline and reported her as claiming to be a Naturopathic Physician when she was not.
I then followed that up with this post on the neighborhood website:
This is a hot button topic for me and because of that and Christy signing her post as “Dr Lastname” I had to dig some. I for one am a HUGE fan of including whole person treatment. I think Doctors of Osteopathic medicine are wonderful as they work to integrate whole health into the picture with well researched medical best practices. Naturopathy less so which is the problem here. One researched article here: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15208545/ breaks down a lot of the issues quite well. It is almost 13 years old, but still quite good at explaining the valid concerns. I further checked as Colorado DOES regulate naturopathy and I could not find any Christy Lastname listed there. My thought was that it is entirely possible that she holds a license to practice in Colorado and my search wasn’t working, but even just searching her first name or zip code or “MyTown” or “TownNearUs” provides no results for a Christy Lastname. There are 2 Naturopathic doctors in TownNearUs, I used this search: apps.colorado.gov/dora/licensing/Lookup/LicenseLookup.aspx linked from this page: colorado.gov/pacific/dora/Naturopathy
At this point Christy locked the post and later deleted the entire thing. I was pretty dang happy that she removed the post, but today it got better. In the mail I received a copy of the cease and desist letter that Christy received form the state about a month ago. It told her that she must cease and desist her “practice” immediately.
Some of my notes from the Versus Rodin exhibition during my Art excursion 😄 Featuring the recently purchased Daiso Soft Marking Pens in the Ash colours and some of the washi tapes I recently received in the mail from Kawaii Pen Shop and Aliexpress 😍
Cey’s Summer Fun Event: Sanrio Amiibo Card Pack Giveaway
Okay ladies and gents, boys and girls, the Summer Fun Event continues, and this time it’s even bigger than the treasure hunts! These guys are sold out everywhere, what a pain to get them! But they’ve arrived! It’s finally time.
Time for Cey to give away one super wildly-coveted, unopened pack of Sanrio Amiibo Cards – that’s the entire officially-licensed English 6 pack, with all 6 villagers! There is one card each for Rilla, Chai, Etoile, Chelsea, Toby, and Marty. Yep! I’m giving the entire pack away! For free!
But before you get too excited, I need you to slow down and read the rules to make sure you are eligible to enter this giveaway. Please read this entire post.
To enter this giveaway and qualify as a winner:
❀ You must be a US or Canadian resident with a registered address. Sorry, I’m not shipping these internationally.
These packs are NOT sold anywhere in the US or Canada.
I am in the US. No PO boxes. No exceptions. ❀ You must be able to give me your address / receive mail from a stranger. If you are under 18, I need to know you have permission from your parents to give me your address and to receive mail from me if you win. ❀ You must be following me. I paid for these cards, so this gift is for my followers. New followers are welcome! But please only follow if you are interested in following me long-term. (I post original content, it’s worth it.) If you follow me from your main blog, put your main blog’s name in your tags when you re-blog! ❀ Like and / or re-blog to enter. Two entries maximum per person. You may re-blog as many times as you like, but only your first like and your first re-blog count as ticket entries for the raffle. ❀ Entries will be open from August 1st - August 31st, 2017. That’s one month! Only entries within this timeframe will be accepted; all other entries will be ignored. ❀ Once I draw a winner, I will message the user to ensure they are still an active user (and I will also check to make sure they are following me), and if I do not receive a response, I will simply re-draw the winner until a viable one has been chosen. I also reserve the right to disqualify entries if necessary, for any reason. ❀ Winner will be announced sometime around the first week of September. This will give me time to confirm the winner is active, get their address, so forth and so on.
Some of you may have heard that the Disney corporation is responsible for at least one real, “live” Ghost Town.
Disney built the “Treasure Island” resort in Baker’s Bay in the Bahamas. It didn’t START as a ghost town! Disney’s cruise ships would actually stop at the resort and leave tourists there to relax in luxury.
This is a FACT. Look it up.
Disney blew $30,000,000 on the place… yes, thirty million dollars.
Then they abandoned it.
Disney blamed the shallow waters (too shallow for their ships to safely operate) and there was even blame cast on the workers, saying that since they were from the Bahamas, they were too lazy to work a regular schedule.
That’s where the factual nature of their story ends. It wasn’t because of sand, and it obviously wasn’t because “foreigners are lazy”. Both are convenient excuses.
No, I sincerely doubt those reasons were legitimate. Why don’t I buy the official story?
The story of when you saw the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. I’ll start by telling you mine.
When I was in eighth grade, I was the plain girl. Unassuming and quiet. People often disregarded me entirely and went about their business as if I wasn’t there, making me privy to things other people wouldn’t notice. There was this one girl who I had been in the same class since sixth grade. We talked occasionally because of our close proximity, but we were in complete separate groups. I was the tomboy who wore surfing t-shirts and the same black Chuck Taylor’s every day. I tamed my curls by wearing a messy bun and did little to no cosmetic to myself except spray three pumps of my apricot perfume on my neck and wrists. Megan was part of the popular group; the rich kids who lived in houses that had their own zip code, and threw parties that only the elite pre-teens were invited to. I had never been invited to one, but my few friends were. Every year. I didn’t care, though. I wasn’t much for parties. I’d rather spend my Friday night in my room reading or writing.
Megan was in my homeroom in eighth grade. There was about thirteen people in our homeroom. They’d talk sports or gossip as cell phones weren’t allowed and I’d draw on the Dry-Erase board. Occasionally the class would join in when I set up a hangman. One winter day after an intense game of hangman, I sat on top of one of the desk, my chuck taylor’s crossed at the ankles, drumming two golden pencils on the desk next to me. “Sammy,” Megan called to me. Her fleece jacket was zipped all the way up at her neck, blonde hair spilling over her shoulders. She wore the same small diamond earrings and a matching bracelet every day. Her grandmother had given it to her she said. Her blue eyes were framed by thick lashes and her lips spread into a warm smile. She was the first person to get her braces off and smiled every eleven seconds.
“How come you never wear makeup?”
“I mean, I don’t know. I’m just not into that.”
I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly and she just smiled, tilting her head to the side, sizing me up and down.
“I think your eyes would you look even prettier with mascara. Up against your brown eyes, and skin—you’d look so pretty.”
Her cheeks flushed and she batted her lashes, twisting the diamond bracelet on her wrist.
“Not that you aren’t pretty now. Because you are. I think you are very pretty. Everyone thinks so.”
I warned with a laugh, but she was quick to cut me off.
“I’m not just saying that! All the girls always talk about how you are able to look pretty without anything. Us…we have…enhancements. It’s not natural, so we don’t really count.”
“Well I like mascara on you—”
I changed the subject, flinching at the topic of conversation. I was never one to take praise well.
“—your eyes remind me of Lake Moraine.”
A small sound escaped her lips and she tucked a blonde strand of hair behind her reddened ear. She parted her lips to say something but the bell rang. I grabbed my binder before flashing my braces at her and left for class.
The days passed and I found myself sneaking in my older sister’s room to grab a mascara stick. There were several. I picked up the one titled “Better Than Sex”. The title enthralled me. The following week I put on a few coats on my eyelashes. At school, it felt like I had glued my eyelashes together. They itched. My friends had complimented me on the look but the itch was too much and I vehemently rubbed my eyes when I got to my locker. I sighed in relief after putting my lunchbox up.
“What the hell happened?”
My friend, Beka said to me once I closed my locker shut.
“What do you mean?”
“Christ, you look like a raccoon!”
I put my hands up to my eyes and ran as quick as I could to the girls’ bathroom. I took several minutes to get all of the mascara off my eyes as Better Than Sex was “Waterproof!” My eyes were now clear of any formaldehyde (that’s what my mother had told me was in mascara) and I felt silly for even trying to wear it in the first place. No mascara was the way to go!
Megan’s birthday was a few weeks later. She had invited me to go, but none of my friends (there was only three) were invited. I was immediately apprehensive given the situation. A party with all the popular kids and then me. I pictured a dim lit living room with colored lights and me standing in the left corner, subtly tapping my sneaker to the music. I was almost correct. We were outside though, my hand was wrapped tightly around a mug of apple cider, and I was in the right corner, not the left. Megan was surrounded by two guys laughing about something. She flipped her hair and sauntered through the the different groups throughout the night. We had made eye contact briefly when I first arrived. She smiled and waved softly before her mother called her attention. I left before the chocolate cake was cut. There was a section to drop off her gifts in the house and I discreetly placed my gift next to all the wrapped gifts before leaving.
The following week in the mail I received an envelope, and inside there was a blue folded card.
Thank you so much for my Bloomingdale’s gift card. I can’t believe you remembered me saying that I loved their chiffon hair clips and backpacks. I hope you enjoyed yourself at my party. So glad you were able to come.
With Love, Megan
I laughed as I ran my thumb across her blue inked handwriting. Of course she would send out thank you cards. How Megan of her.
Over the years, Megan ended up going to Wales Academy, an independent college preparatory high school while I went to Oxford High. Sure, we were friends on social media but after eighth grade, we did not interact with each other. Even after all the Facebook reminders I received on February 8 to wish her a Happy Birthday and the ones she received on July 22. I saw her post photos on Instagram going to various parties, traveling around the world with friends and church groups. She had a few modeling contracts so most of the pictures were from photoshoots. I never really posted on social media, if I did it was of nature photos.
I went to college on a track and field scholarship. I lived in the athletic apartments off campus that were across the street from the Engineering and Business school. Parking was a pain as I was twenty minutes from the university so I always took the bus. My sophomore year, after a long day of workouts I grabbed a California Club, steamed vegetables and broccoli soup for dinner and walked back to my apartment with my workout uniform still on. The trainers and coaches had whined at me to take it off so they could wash it but I was just so tired, I did not want to. My sliders scraped the pavement as I got off the bus. Some curls stuck to the nape of my neck while some had fallen from my loose bun on the sides of my face in the front. I clutched my bag with my dinner in it to my side as my muscles flexed with each step. I winced in pain and a bead of sweat fell into the crease of my eyebrows. I was walking to the bus stop when the revolving doors to the Business School spun and Megan stepped out. She was taller, 5’6 if I had to guess and wore dress shorts and a pink blouse. Her long blonde locks had been cut into short beach waves that accented her countenance so well. The wind caught in her hair and blouse. She looked more like a goddess than she did any other day. And here I was sweating, with my uniform on. I don’t know why I panicked, but I did and my heart sped up and I clutched my bag so tight, I was positive my broccoli soup was beginning to leak at the bottom. The bus pulled up and I saw her walking towards it. I needed to get on it as well to take me to the library which was the stop in front of my apartment complex, but I ducked behind the bus and sped walk through the garden and street to get to the library before the bus did. By the time I got there, there was no bus in sight. I wasn’t sure if the bus had came and left already or not. I walked into the library where I saw Megan take the elevator upstairs.
I yelled and earned a couple of stares from the security guards. I sprinted up the steps, skipping every other one and thanked God for my incredible speed and endurance. I made it up the the second floor just as the elevator light turned green. I heard the doors swing open and walked briskly to the back exit of the library. I could feel Megan on my heels. All I had to do was exit. She would never recognize me from behind. I had grown out of my ugly stage as well as grown four inches. When I finally got outside I turned around and looked in the window to see her walk towards the computer area. Blowing out a a sigh of relief, I turned and tiredly walked to my apartment. By the time I got to my floor, my broccoli soup had soaked the bottom of my brown paper bag so much that it had fallen out somewhere between the library and my apartment much to my dismay. I sat in my apartment and ate my sandwich and began writing this because I know at some point Megan and I will run into each other again but this time I wasn’t ready and I hate myself for it.