reblog this irl friends

Voltron characters as quotes from my friends
  • Shiro: wait, how many existential crisis was that just now? Three?
  • Allura: -stabbing her food with a fork- VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT
  • Keith: I...forgot that eggs exist
  • Lance: Apparently a duck was more important than me falling into the lake!
  • Hunk: I'm not a rocket scientist- I have a degree in astrophysics...fuck
  • Pidge: Ye olde fuck you
  • Coran: I can almost taste the nihilism you brewed into this coffee
  • Matt: omg buddy. Do it. Vore the phone
Would you like to hear a NSFW TMI MISTAKE story?

YOU EVER MAKE A MISTAKE SO LARGE IT RESULTS IN BLASTING WATER OUT OF YOUR ASS FOR ATLEAST A PURE 30 SECONDS TO A MINUTE AT POWER WASHER VELOCITY, WELL I DID(AT ABOUT 16)!

ALRIGHTY
SO
YOU KNOW HOW MALES AND FEMALES HAVE A GSPOT
BUT ITS HIDDEN AWAY FOR MALES
LIKE NEAR THE PROSTATE OR SOME SHIT
WELL IVE NEVER REALLY FELT THAT GREAT DURING CLIMAX, SO I THOUGHT I OUGHT TO TREAT MYSELF, YOU KNOW, SOME RAZZLE DAZZLE
WELL
MY MOMS BATHROOM HAS THIS LARGE ASS TUB
AND THAT TUB
HAS TUB JETS

I HAD DECIDED THAT WHILE I WAS TAKIN A SCRUB DUB DUB IN HER TUB, WHY NOT GIVE MYSELF THE OL HANKY PANKY
AND THEN I HAD COME UP WITH THE BRILLIANT IDEA, THAT IF I HAPPEN TO DO THE DIDDLY DOO WHILE MY ASS IS DAMN NEAR HOOKED UP TO THIS FUCKING SUPER SOAKER TUB JET, I ,WOULD THEN FEEL MAXIMUM PLEASURE
SO SINCE I WASNT REALLY GETTING ANYTHING IN RETURN FROM THAT ASS BLAST, I DECIDED, LIKE THE SMART GUY I AM, TO JUST KEEP ON AT IT, 5, 10, 15, 20 MINUTES? IDFK BUT IT WAS LONG
AND AFTER A WHILE
I HAD STARTED TO FEEL HEAVY
HEAVIER
I COULD FEEL SLOSHING IN ME
IT WENT WOOSHWOOSH
SO I HAD HOBBLED OUT OF THE BATH, AS THE CURRENTLY PREGNAT WITH A WATER BABY BOUT TO GIVE BIRTH PERSON I WAS
AND WALKED OVER TO THE TOILET,

THE MOMENT THAT I SAT DOWN
I CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH, AND HOW FAST WATER CAME SHOOTING OUT OF MY ASS
LITERALLY POWER WASHER SPEEDS
THIS VELOCITY KEPT UP FOR LIKE 10-15 SECONDS, THEN I JUST CONTINUED TO EMPTY OUT WITH GALLONS OF WATER

THEN AFTER PROBABLY 30 SECONDS OF IT JUST SPILLING OUT OF ME, NORMALLY
IT STARTED TO CEASE AND JUST MORE THAN DRIP BUT LESS THEN FLOW OUT FOR A BIT
AFTER SITTING ON THE TOILET FOR A GREAT AMOUNT OF TIME
WORDS CAN NOT EXPRESS THE FEELING OF VOID WITHIN YOUR EVERYTHING AFTER GALLONS OF WATER HAS JUST EMPTIED OUT. I FORGET WHERE, BUT I JUST FELT A VOID POCKET OF NOTHING BUT NOTHING BUT EMPTINESS

AND THAT IS HOW I LEARNED NOT TO GET KINKY AT A YOUNG AGE

like.. i can’t wait to have a real friend. i can’t wait till i meet someone and be comfortable with them. i can’t wait to go to the movies or to the mall with them. i can’t wait to talk with them about pointless things and about what we think will happen after life and literally just anything.

Queen Me Styles Follow Forever

HEY I’VE NEVER DONE ONE OF THESE, BUT IN HONOR OF 500, LETS DO THIS!

Categorizing this took me forever, but, these are sectioned in A through Z order. I’ve followed half of these people since the beginning, and some of these people more recently. It’s kind of short compared to a lot of the other ‘Follow forever’ lists I’ve seen, but I’m sure in time these will grow, and get longer. 

There are a few people I actually wrote little notes to in here, so if you were tagged, check! 

Aa-

Keep reading

My mom’s cat is very old and this is my niece’s response after mom gave the health update on our family group chat. You can tell it’s her by the excessive use of emojis.

I mean, it 100% hormones but I am super fucking touched by how my niece responds to other people’s distress. I’m like moved to tears. She turned out good.

Yes, the cat is named for the Handyman from Green Acres

me: i won’t act too affectionate
also me: im going to tousle their hair and try and hold their hand and im going to sit so obnoxiously close to them so i can put my head close to their chest and hear their heartbeat and i’m going to stare at them admiringly for way too long and i’ll fling my arms around them at random times without any explanation whatsoever haha i love being affectionate

me : i –
my friends : you’re bi, we get it, you’re so bi. you love girls. you just looooove girls, and youre SUPER bi, you love being bi, god being bi is so great. we GET it, you’re BI.
me : :-)

i just realized that 500 people are following me and well i know follower count isn’t important (it shouldn’t be) but i just want to say thank you anyways. unfortunately i don’t really have anything for me to add on like a coloring graphic or drawing or anything really for my thanks but trust me, i appreciate all of you and possibly everybody that i haven’t even met or seen before yet

i hope i get a chance to interact with some of you more since i want to try to be more social (but then i’m a wimp i’m too nervous to message anyone ldsfj)

anyways, i hope everybody has a good day!

Originally posted by sayonara-no-kawari-ni

anonymous asked:

My irl best friend reblogged a post by someone who is a massive aphobe. The post itself wasn't aphobic but I'm still really hurt because she knows I hate this person and what kind of person they are. Only problem is she doesn't know that I know she reblogged from them. I really can't get past this though so does anyone have some advice

My friends and I tell each other when we reblogged aphobes or terfs because we try to no platform them, maybe you could see if your friend would be willing to do that

anonymous asked:

Ok so I feel really bad cause I never reblog your stuff cause my irl friends follow my tumblr and I don't want them to know how trashy I am like they don't like abo and stuff but I love it so I always like your stuff and I just wanted you to know that I love them and would reblog if I wasn't scared of my friends knowing

Please don’t feel bad, I completely understand ^ ^; I rarely if ever reblog art by other people on this blog because it’s a record of my own online activities, and everyone’s blogs has a unique purpose for them, and there’s no need to give me an explanation.

There are so many ways to support me and creators as a whole without necessarily sharing posts on social media. One, sending me an ask just like this! Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this, just knowing you’re out there liking my work is enough, and I’ll always have anon open if you’re more comfortable that way. ^ ^

You can also reply to my posts by clicking that speech bubble if you have any comments you’d like to share with me, and those won’t go on your blog and won’t be visible unless the person is already scanning the replies to the post, in which case well, they’re just as “trash” as us ^ ^;

And of course, if you have some spare change I certainly always appreciate a few bucks tossed at my Ko-Fi, or Patreon which will be announced shortly<3

Thanks so much again, and I hope you can enjoy fandom as you like it in as stress-free an environment as possible <3