rebellion in black and white

12 things I learned while being 18

1. no matter how old you get, crying in your mom’s arms will always make you feel 3 years old

2. if you don’t want to piss people off, be a vegetable. dance like an idiot at parties, laugh like a walrus at serious meetings, sing pop songs at the top of your lungs in front of your indie friends, wear red socks when the dress code is black and white. the point isn’t rebellion, the point is expression. the point is the world would be a much better place if we were taught to be fascinated by our differences instead of fearing them, if we were taught to explore individuality instead of controlling it. if we were taught that even if we disagree with somebody’s way of expression, we have no authority to ever tell somebody they can’t be who they are. free yourself, or let us be free

3. kisses are the best form of communication. it is your chance to say everything words can’t express. when you feel weak and fragile and you’ve given them so much of your heart they could break it at any second, say it.. kiss slowly, kiss softly, fingers running through their spine, face between hands. when you feel like you’re on fire, like no matter how close you are to each other you’ll never be close enough, say it. hands running through hair, whispers in between, desperate kisses, laughter in their mouth. i’m all for words, but, trust me, kisses are better than poetry

4. pain is a monster fed by fear- the more afraid you are of it finding you, the more it’ll grow. the more you run away, the stronger it’s legs get. it’ll appear when you drink a glass of wine by yourself and you find yourself crying for no reason. or when you realize you haven’t laughed in a week. pain hates being ignored. so make friends with pain. shake it’s hand. write about it, cry your eyes out in the shower, and let it slowly leave your body until you are clean again.

5. believe in everything, just in case. my favorite word of all time is “serendipity”. it means a “fortunate accident” and it is the most important word in the world, because it taught me the only way to experience magic is to believe in it. when you bump into a stranger and it feels like you’ve known them forever, when you apply for the school of your dreams and it doesn’t work out, your phone turning off before you have to send an important text- . the universe is in constant communication with us, playing a charming little game of charades. we guess and we guess and we make a fool of ourselves guessing, but we will find our answer, and the whole room will cheer when we do

6. when you cant find love, make it. if you’re having the worst day of your life, smile at people walking on a sidewalk. text your best friend and tell her you are so happy the boy she’s liked since 7th grade is in her math class. it’ll make you feel better. love is love, given or taken, created or received

7. there are two kinds of people in the world: the ones that are relieved by this next sentence, and the ones that are worried: karma is real. some people will gossip and spread poison, they will forget about lifting themselves up and become obsessed with tearing you down, they will whisper quiet so you know its not meant for you, but loud enough so you feel like the smallest person in the room, and after you’ve beat yourself up wondering what you did wrong you will try and gain their acceptance. and they will still hate you. darling, it never had anything to do with you. hatred is only a reflection of people’s own misery, they have so much of it they want to find other places to put it in. but whatever you do, don’t lose hope in people and don’t stop being kind to people. let life do it’s thing. be kind, work hard, cheer people on, and life will be good to you.

8. spend as much time as you can with your family. learn about where your grandparents come from, ask them how they fell in love, tell your dad to tell you about that time he got detention in high school. they’re getting older too

9. all your troubles will disappear with chanel #5 perfume on your neck. well, they wont. but your troubles will smell delicious. the only thing worth spending a lot of money on is a perfume that makes you feel like the queen of the earth. your scent is your signature

10. love is the most lethal drug of all. sometimes you will have to walk away from people you’re addicted to. you will need to stop making excuses for people that hurt you. and you will take your heart from the shelf they put it on and say “thank you for your time, but this felt damn freezing up there.” and you will reach up even if you don’t feel tall enough, and you will take it from the shelf, and you will put it back in your scratched up chest, and you will button up your shirt, and it’ll hurt like hell, but you will walk away. it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. you will think you’ve walked away from something you can’t replace, that you’ll never feel that high again. trust me, you will

11. be kind to people, keep people’s secrets, be the one that answers the phone when nobody else does, make everyone feel importan. no matter what happens, be as kind as you can

12. feel everything, that is the difference between living and existing

—  camila cabello { @waakeme-up }