rebel eye

The Rules of Chopper Base

Seeing as it’s gone next week, have a few silly thoughts about life on Atollon!


The Rules of Chopper Base - by Phoenix Squadron

  • We only have 1 training A-Wing, so be careful with it!
  • Don’t claim the krykna ate your mission briefing notes - they can’t get past the perimeter!
  • Don’t leave your helmets lying around
    • It’s not regulation, and Lieutenant Bridger will steal them. 
  • Don’t ever claim a maneuver is impossible while Phoenix leader is in earshot.
  • Don’t ask if Phoenix Leader and the Jedi are going to get married
    • Don’t ask when Phoenix Leader and the Jedi are going to get married 
    • Don’t ask if Phoenix Leader and the Jedi are already married
  • Don’t play chance cubes with Lieutenant Bridger.  He always wins.  Cheater.
    • No-one can prove anything! - Ezra
  • You are no longer allowed to go on missions myself or commander Sato haven’t assigned.  Especially any “supply raids”.  We do not need more alcohol. - Phoenix Leader
  • Asking Hobbie “what’s your actual job?” stopped being funny after the second time Lieutenant Bridger made that joke.  Please stop.
  • Never ask Lieutenant Wren about art.  I will never be able to forgot early-modern colour theory now!
    • I thought you said you were interested in my artwork? - Sabine
  • Don’t bother complaining to Commander Sato or Phoenix leader if that kriffing astromech electrocutes you.  Apparently it means “he likes you” or something.
  • Don’t try and flirt with either Lieutenant Bridger or Lieutenant Wren.  You will be reassigned to somewhere horrible.
    • Ezra is 17!  What is wrong with you all?
  • Don’t insult AP-5 where he can hear you.  He’ll stock your A-Wing with the worst ration bars.
  • Stop asking  Lieutenant Bridger what happened to his promotion.  It makes him look like a kicked loth-kitten.
  • The dokma are cute.  Yes, fine.  Now can we please talk about something else?
  • Our hidden base is very impressive.  Do Not boast about it over the comms!  What is wrong with you all?
  • Yes, Lieutenant Wren is amazing at everything, but don’t be jealous.
    • Did you write this, Sabine? - Ezra