reasons you wish you were me

To my first love,
I don’t think you will even recognize that these words are for you. I knew you didn’t think you were beautiful, or even relatively attractive, but I would have loved to spend the rest of my life convincing you of your perfection. Your flaws were what defined you. Your strength in the face of all your adversities, all the abuse you endured, inspired me. Your beauty was unconventional and every day I have gone without it, without you, tore my soul apart. Years have passed and we’re both adults now. The façade of childhood has left me. I no longer believe in the things I once fought for. I no longer recognize who I was with you. I doubt I ever cross your mind. Truth be told, you rarely cross mine. But, you still do. You continue to have this hold over me, a hold that forces me to compare all my lovers—past, present, and future—to you. Why? Our love was imperfect, abusive, tarnished. We held each other’s hearts in our hands and repeatedly poked and prodded and exploited the weaknesses we found until one of us cried for mercy. We reduced the other to tears on more occasions than I care to revisit. I wished you nothing but happiness when you left me. You wished for me to feel every suffering this world had to offer. You wished for me to feel as dirty, broken, alone, betrayed, as you felt when our truths were revealed. I was fucked up, you’re right, but you were as well. You are not without blame here. We were both too damaged to ever be good for each other. Your wish came true and for years, I have lived with a searing pit in my stomach. As I sit here and write these words to you, I realize that you are the reason I am like this. You are the reason I am the way I am. You are to blame for my cold, unfeeling ways. I may have loaded the gun, I may have pressed it into your hands, and I may have aimed it at my heart, but you are the one who pulled the trigger. I wrote this to put you out of my mind forever. I wrote this for the closure you never granted me; the closure I used to repeatedly seek through apologies and professions of guilt while you turned your back on me, admonishing me with threats if I did not disappear from your life. I wrote this because it’s been over four years since we met and two since you left and I still cannot get my thoughts off you. You ruined me, we ruined each other, but you recovered quicker. I am leaving you on this page. I am leaving the memories, the sleepless nights, the love, and the abuse here, in hopes of finally being free.
Regrettably yours,
A.H.
—  the-hasslehaas, It’s been a year since I wrote this and the freedom has come.
[!] Please Read.

To say that we wish there was another much nicer way that we could do this is an understatement. Though a group of writers involved in this incident have come to the agreement that this must be done not only for the sake of the people who are a part of these networks, but also to let the general public, their and our readers, know of this situation and who the people that they are idolising really are.

So, without further ado, welcome to the truth about the Penetration Station:

Keep reading

Your friends all crushing on Damian Wayne

• You thought they were joking when they pointed to Damian.

•You gave him the nickname Double A.

•Arrogance and Animosity.

•They had a hard time trying to figure out how to get his attention.

•Once they tried just walking up to him to start a conversation.

•Instant fail, he ignored them all.

•He constantly glares at your group when they whisper about him.

•Once glared directly at you.

•You gave a sheepish smile and a slight wave.

•Valentines day was a disaster.

•So was Christmas.

•He dumped all the presents in the trash.

•"You still like Double A?“
•"Yes!, he’s just playing hard to get.”
•"Uh… I mean if you want to put it that way.“

•You once had to grab a book from the library a couple blocks away.

•Damian was walking in front of you.

•Both ended up waiting for the stop light.

•"Why are you following me Y/N?”

•How does he know your name????

•"Not following you, just trying to get to the library. My friends would be the one’s to follow you though.“

•Damian huffed
•"Which is quite the nuisance.”

•"Yeah… sorry about that.“

•You gave Damian a sympathetic smile.

•He turned his head to the other side pretending to look at the passing cars.

•Actually he just got flustered and had to calm himself down.

•Damian stuck his hand towards you.

•"Since your not following me I wish to become acquaintances.”

•You shook his hand.

•"Friends would also be nice too.“

•For some reason he really like touching your hand.

•It was warm and soft. He wanted to hold your hand again.

•3 months later and your friends still were in to Damian.

•You stopped calling him Double A since he sometimes… sometimes talks to you.

•One day he just walked up to your table.

•You friends flipped out and swarmed him.

•"What do you need Damian?” One of your friends ask twirling her hair.

•"Y/N.“

•Everyone froze.

•Your friends all looked at you.

•"Y/N?”

•"Yes Y/N.“

•He slightly nudged your friends out of the way.

•He stood there with a stoic expression, you had a nervous one.

•"Will you accompany me to a museum this Saturday?”

•You wordlessly nodded your head giving a slight grin seeing your friends expressions.

•Damian nodded and began to walk away.

•You saw his mouth curve into small smile as he sat back down.

One of my favorite moments of the Gorillaz concert over in Chicago was when Damon stopped the show for a moment to talk to use about “The Fall”. And he was like “I’m not making excuses but there was a reason the album wasn’t so great” and like…

he told all of us how the album was done without editing (which was pretty obvious). Each song was written in a different city during the plastic beach tour, so he like to consider every song like a lovely little post card from each town. Like a little kind “wish you were here/thank you” to the fans each time he wrote one of the songs?

I thought it was honestly the sweetest fucking thing and I’ll never forget when he talked about it. Gave me a whole new appreciation for that album.

{PART 24} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Despite everything that has gone wrong for you; you feel like life might start to have a better outlook as Jungkook takes all measures to keep you safe. However, a storm is coming; one that grips and pulls at the strongest winter coat…before you find yourself making the biggest mistake of your life to date.

“The lull, or the calm before the storm took it’s place in the atmosphere, in both of their hearts and their minds. ‘Tread carefully’ he warned her, but she slipped from his grasp the moment he blinked”

Not rated M, but be warned there are some scenes of a suggestive sexual nature.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1} // {Part 23} {Part 24} {Part 25}

Keep reading

5

I Don’t Mean It Pt 5

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

After dinner and with what Taehyung said, you were heartbroken. You believed his words, although you knew he would sometimes say things he didn’t mean when he was upset. But you knew inside that this time was different. He wasn’t going to ask for forgiveness this time around.

Did he even consider you his friend this entire time? Did any of them consider you a friend? Or were they really only nice because you had information about them. You loved each of them dearly, always wanting the best of them. Ever since they moved in next door, your life had changed for the better. You had always had a special place in your heart for Taehyung too. The way he made you feel when you were with him was indescribable. 

But it seems that all of it was a lie. 

“If he wants me out of his life, then that’s what I’ll give him” you say silently to yourself.


The award show season came and went by in a flash. And for some reason, Tae was itching to text you to tell you all about it. About how happy he was for winning awards. About how he wished you were there to celebrate with them.

But he dismissed any of those feelings and replaced them with his anger. He saw the other boys call and tell you the good news, but he kept his distance, not wanting to ruin their fun. 

A few weeks prior, the group’s manager came up to Taehyung regarding an article that a reporter was going to publish. Within the article was a detailed description of all the places Taehyung frequented in secret as to avoid the eyes of the public. In this article was a detailed description of all the small things that not many people knew about. 

Tae was of surprised. Where had this reporter gotten all this information? His manager had said that he had gotten this information from you when he found out that you both were neighbors. He said that you had received a sum of money for the information. Thankfully his manager had “stopped the article from being published” but he scolded Taehyung for being close with just some girl.

And with that, Taehyung was fuming. He swore never to tell you anything ever again and to have you out of his life. But a voice inside him told him otherwise and he couldn’t push you out completely. He still couldn’t. And he still didn’t tell the other guys yet because he knew it would have only distracted them.


A/N: I think I’m going to end part 5 here for now. I wanted to make this longer, but I’m going to hold myself back and keep it for part 6. What do you think is going to happen? Who wants a part 6? Let me know!! I also want to thank you all for the support once again. And thank you for understanding for when I didn’t post last night! 

People fear someone falling out of love with them, but no one usually questions what it’s like to be the one falling out. They can’t picture feeling that something must be horribly wrong with you because there’s no other plausible explanation for why your heart doesn’t flutter when you look at him like it used to. It was the position I never thought I would find myself in, yet here I was, looking at the man I supposedly loved and not feeling a thing. If there was anything there, it was negative. Annoyance, anger, sadness, the complete opposite of everything he used to make me feel. It wasn’t right to let him believe things were okay, so I told him. Watching his facial expression drift from a quiet seriousness into a brokenness I never thought I would cause, I wished I didn’t mean the words I said but I knew I did. I couldn’t keep running away, after all, where could I go when the person that used to feel like home no longer did?
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: Telling the guy you love that you’re falling out of love for the same reason you fell in love with him.
Teen Wolf Preference - Fake Dating

DEREK HALE

Derek couldn’t believe you had convinced him into doing this.

“You want me to what?” he’d asked, not sure if he’d heard you correctly.  

“I just need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for this event since… I kinda already told everyone that you’re my boyfriend and you were coming. There’ll be free food and alcohol and you won’t even have to talk to many people!”

This had naturally intrigued Derek but there had been something that he couldn’t help but ask you.

“Really? You picked me for your big fake boyfriend plan? You know I don’t… get along well with people around here. Why not Parrish?”

Derek could see Parrish pulling up now at the event in his police uniform. Parrish wasn’t a bad guy but Derek couldn’t help but clench his fists at the sight of him. He wasn’t one to get jealous easily but this guy just put his teeth on edge.

“Shit! Parrish! Why didn’t I think of that?” you’d said angrily, shaking your head, “well, it’s too late. Will you just please go with me, Derek? It’s just one night. We can fake break up the next day.”

Derek had then thought for a moment, making sure to avoid your eye. You had a particular pleading look that you often gave him that made it hard for him to ever say no to you. But he couldn’t resist and looked at you, and it was then that he decided that he was going to be a part of your fake dating charade and he was going to be the best fake date there ever was.

“You came!”

Derek was pulled out of his trance, turning to see you hurrying towards him with a grin on your face.

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

You shook your head, “I just wasn’t sure. Wow, you look really good, you should wear suits more often.”

“I always look good,” he offered his hand, smiling a little as you took it. Your hand was so tiny compared to his. “You don’t look too bad either.”

That was an understatement. Derek always thought you looked gorgeous but right now, he was so blown away by how beautiful you looked that he had to remind himself to breathe.

Gee, thanks. We’re running a bit behind – I’d planned to have at least 2 drinks by now.”

The event was in full swing and Derek felt like he was in high school again. First of all, the event was being held in the school’s hall as the community one was under construction and second of all, he found himself watching protectively over you as he heard several greasy men comment on how good you looked.

“I was wondering when the two of you were going to get together,” Jordan Parrish congratulated the two of you, avoiding Derek’s intimidating stare, “all (Y/N) ever talked about was ‘how hot Derek is’.”

Your eyes widened, taking a rather large sip of your drink as you elbowed Jordan ‘playfully’.

“I did not!”

All throughout the night people had approached you and Derek and gave similar comments (minus the snarky one Jordan gave), saying that they’d seen the two of you out on dates and were wondering when you were going to call it official. In all honesty, neither you or Derek had considered your outings to be dates but now that he was thinking back on it, he wondered if he should start considering them as just that.

Derek proceeded to smile as Jordan winced from the hit you gave him, “well, it was a surprise to me actually. I had always thought the two of you were going to get together.”

“Nah, (Y/N) has only ever had eyes for you!” Jordan glanced at your now nearly empty glass, “want a refill?”

“God, yes please. I’m gonna be needing something heavier at this rate.”

“Completely agree with you.” and with a wink, Jordan disappeared back through the crowd towards the bar and Derek shifted his focus back to you.

“I feel a bit stupid for being jealous of him now,” he admitted, smelling the embarrassment on you which only caused his smile to widen more. Derek honestly couldn’t remember smiling this much since he was a teenager and it turned out a lot of people at the event were being a lot kinder to him because of it.

“Yeah, well, I picked you as my fake boyfriend for a reason. It’s believable and everyone seems to already think it was happening.”

You wished Jordan would hurry up with that drink.

Derek could hear your heart racing and you glanced up at him, something seeming to occur to you as a surprised expression dawned on your face.

“Holy shit – you don’t actually like me, do you?”

He leaned closer to you, his grin seeming rather wolfish now.

“By the sounds of it,” he pointed to your heart, “you feel the same way.”

Derek was now the one taken aback as very quickly, you closed the gap between the two of you and pressed a hard kiss against his lips.

“Stupid werewolf powers.” Was all you said as a low growl came from the back of Derek’s throat, Jordan now walking up from behind you with drinks in his hand. Derek wanted to desperately kiss you just a little longer but as his eyes met briefly with yours, he knew the whole dating charade was going to become a lot more realistic and there was going to be endless amount of time to kiss you.


ISAAC LAHEY

“Sorry man. You probably won’t have a lot to contribute to the conversation considering you’ve never had a girlfriend,” Stiles teased for what felt like the millionth time as he and Isaac stood by the lockers waiting for the rest of the group to arrive.

Stiles had just asked him for advice for an upcoming date but then took it back quickly saying he probably would just ask Scott about it in the car. A low growl escaped Isaac’s lips as he tried to remind himself that Stiles just wasn’t worth it as the idiot seemed to get off on annoying him. And unfortunately, it was working and sometimes Isaac was just a bit impulsive.

“Well, not one that you know of.”

Stiles’s eyebrow quirked up and a Grinch like smile came across his face, wondering if he was hearing this right.

“A girlfriend in fourth grade doesn’t count,” he reminded and Isaac’s hands balled into fists.

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Because it isn’t real, Isaac thought.

Stiles nodded, “oh, yeah right, sure, sure.”

The tone in his voice was enough for Isaac to glance around and see you and Lydia walking in the opposite direction of where he was standing. You and Isaac weren’t close but you got along like a house on fire, regularly working together on pack ‘missions’ or sometimes you just studied together in the library. He’d been asked several times if he was interested in you, all those times he just shrugged as an answer but if anyone was to believe he was dating someone, you would be a good candidate.

“(Y/N),” Isaac said, “(Y/N) and I have been dating.”

Stiles looked as if he’d just discovered gold.

“(Y/N)? You want me to believe that? She’s way out of your league!” and then he was shouting, “(Y/N)! Are you and Isaac dating?”

Lydia and you stopped your walking, Lydia raising her eyebrows at you as you turned around slowly. Everyone in the hallway seemed to go quiet, interested in this little bit of gossip and you met with Isaac’s horrified eyes.

“Uh, yes?” was all you said before continuing on your way, Lydia beginning to smack you excitedly at discovering this information as Stiles turning back to Isaac.

“I can’t believe you weren’t just fucking with me. You should invite her to come bowling with all of us tomorrow night – Lydia will be there so she won’t feel so weird. I seriously can’t believe you landed a girlfriend like that, fuck.”

Isaac couldn’t believe that he’d landed a fake girlfriend like that either.

That night, Isaac found himself climbing into your bedroom and nearly scaring you half to death.

“What the shit?” you hissed, pausing the show you were watching, “first you say we’re dating and now you’re climbing through my window? Did I miss something?”

He smiled sheepishly, brushing off a few sticks that got caught in his sweater while trying to climb up through your window.

“Uh, I know normal people just text but I thought I should just ask you in person. I didn’t really think this through –,”

You cut him off, “yeah, I can see that.”

“But, fuck this is stupid. Stiles was being a dick and I kind of just said you were my girlfriend so he’d leave me alone. I didn’t think he’d actually, uh, ask you about it but do… you wanna go bowling with the group of us tomorrow?”

You’d always had a crush on Isaac. He was one of the first guys to ever really notice you and see you for more than just your looks and you wanted to throw one of your pillows at him and demand he take you out on a proper date because you genuinely liked him. But even though he freaked you out a bit by abruptly climbing through your window at that time of night, you couldn’t resist him.

“Fine. But before you leave, I already answered a bunch of our relationship questions to Lydia so you’ll have to learn them. And you’re paying for my shoes and games for bowling. Oh, and when we fake break up, it’ll be a mutual break up and it can’t be weird.”

You weren’t particularly eager to be out bowling with the group. You got along well with everyone and they were being overly nice to you ever since they found out you and Isaac were ‘dating’. A few times Stiles had said to you ‘really, Isaac?’ but other than that, no one really questioned it. The people in the group who were wolves didn’t even suspect that the two of you were faking the whole ordeal because they could hear how fast your heart rates were when you were around one another, which made everything much easier.

“Lydia said she invited you to come earlier in the week but you said no.” Isaac said, his arm wrapped around you rather lazily as you watched Scott get up for his first go. It felt rather natural for the two of you to be like this, having small touches here and there and sneaking each other little glances. It was comfortable and you had to remind yourself that this was all supposed to be a charade.

“Uh, did I forget to mention that I can’t bowl?”

“You know you’re up next, right?”

You nodded, “yeah, that’s why I’m just a bit nervous.”

Scott got a strike, grinning as he turned to the group who were all rolling their eyes at the unfairness of him having werewolf abilities which were a rather big help in the situation. You wished you had the abilities because you had no idea what you were about to do.

“C’mon,” Isaac helped you to your feet, picking up your ball for you and beginning to walk towards your lane.

“Seriously? What are you doing?”

He handed you the ball, smiling a little and back at the seats the two of you were already earning a few ‘awes’.

“I’ll help you, it’s the least I can do,” he handed you the ball and you held it in the hand you were most comfortable with as he began to help line you up correctly, “aren’t we just relationship goals?”

You laughed rather nervously and Isaac stood behind you, his back pressed against yours and you did your best to concentrate on your bowling but it was proving to be difficult.

“Just move sort of like… this,” he murmured into your ear and as he showed you the throwing movement the second time around, you released the ball and it went flying down the middle of the lane, hitting all the pins except one.

“Oh my god,” a grin came across your face as you turned around to Isaac who couldn’t quite believe it either, “oh my god!”

You flung your arms around his neck, kissing him excitedly and Isaac nearly fell backwards at the sudden action. Eagerly though, he kissed you back, enjoying the feeling and hoping that you’d do this every time you did well in the game.

“How come you don’t do that when I do well?” Scott asked Kira from their seats and she nudged him playfully.

Realising that you had to bowl once more and everyone was watching the two of you with stupid grins on their faces, you shyly pulled away and began to walk back to get another ball. Triumphantly, Isaac walked back to the group who might as well have been clapping for him and Lydia patted his arm.

“It’s about time the two of you got together. (Y/N) always talked about how much she liked you but you just ‘didn’t like her back’. I swear if you break her heart I’ll break you.” She smiled sweetly and Isaac, who had to admit was a little intimidated, smiled back as you successfully knocked down your final pin.

“Not planning on it, Lydia.”


LIAM DUNBAR

“I think I left my lacrosse jersey at your place,” you were startled by your ex-boyfriend who was now standing beside your locker, an annoyed look on his face as if it were you fault that he’d misplaced his belongings.

“You never took any of your lacrosse gear to my house.” You told him coolly, shutting your locker which you weren’t actually done looking in and attempting to walk away from him. To your annoyance, he followed.

“Well, if you see it then tell me,” he said and you rolled your eyes. The two of you had been broken up for 3 months, you were certain you would have come across it by now. “How’re you going anyway? Any new guys in your life?”

The last bit he said with an amused tone, causing you to clutch your bag just a bit tighter. You knew if you said no that he’d proceed to tell you the long list of girls that were in his life now – some of which were in his life while the two of you were dating.

“Yeah, believe it or not I actually have a boyfriend.”

You saw a group of guys up ahead being rather rowdy and spotted Liam Dunbar, the guy you were planning to find just earlier because he’d promised you his research notes from one of your classes.

“Oh, really? Do I know them?”

You knew you should’ve just made up a name of some guy that went to another school but because you just happened to be looking at Liam, you couldn’t help it.

“Liam.”

Your ex looked surprised, “Dunbar? Seriously?”

At that moment, Liam looked up, having been listening in on your conversation and he was just as confused too. You couldn’t believe you picked someone so obvious – and someone that was on the same team as your ex as well. You weren’t going to get away with this.

“Um… yeah?”

Liam sensed your embarrassment and excused himself from the group of friends he was talking to. It was well known that he hated your ex and any opportunity to annoy him was valuable.

“Hey babe!” he said cheerfully as he approached you, trying not to laugh at how red you went as he placed a kiss on your cheek, “everything alright here?”

Your ex, to your relief, stepped away, “everything’s fine, man. (Y/N), if you see the jersey let me know.”

When your ex was safely out of sight, you turned to Liam who had a smug smile on his face.

“How – why?” you stammered, not really sure how you’d just managed that.

“I hate that guy,” he said, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone we’re not really dating. We make a cute couple anyway, even if it’s fake.”

“What? Liam, you don’t have to do this. I was just being stupid.”

He shook his head, “he’s just told about 5 people that we’re dating. It’ll be fun! We can get back at that guy all while doing our assignments. It’s a win-win situation.”

And so the fake relationship began. To your surprise, you greatly benefited from the situation. Creepy guys stopped bothering you, if you ever needed to get warm Liam was perfectly fine with you just walking into his arms while he talked with some friends and you ended up making more friends of your own. Some of the seniors he hung around became protective of you and Lydia Martin, of all people, started casually talking to you and giving you advice whenever you needed it. You often forgot that you weren’t really dating because whenever you were around Liam, your heart raced and you got butterflies as if you were actually hanging out with someone you had feelings for. It wasn’t until you sometimes saw your ex around the school who made snide and rude comments about the two of you that you remembered what was going on.

“You’re all sweaty,” you laughed as you and Mason went onto the field after one of the lacrosse games to congratulate Liam. He had a large grin on his face, pulling off his lacrosse helmet and Mason gave him a high five.

“Usually after sports people get sweaty. Weird, isn’t it?” Mason said as you gave Liam a short congratulatory hug, “poor Devenford Prep though… I should probably go and see if Brett’s alright…”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really concerned about his feelings,” Liam said sarcastically as Mason ignored him, walking over to the opposite (and losing) team.

“So, how does it feel to win against your old school?”

“Quite amazing, actually,” he paused, “he’s watching again. Doesn’t he have anything better to do?”

You shrugged, knowing exactly who Liam was talking about, “maybe we should give him a show.”

You had been joking – kind of. And Liam knew that but he couldn’t resist. He dropped his helmet, cupping your face and kissing you passionately. You no longer cared about how sweaty he was as you kissed him back, a part of you relieved that you were finally getting to do this.

You pulled away slightly, smiling like an idiot and Liam began to lean in again.

“He’s not even watching anymore,” you told him and he shook his head.

“I just really like kissing you.”

And then you kissed him again.

SCOTT MCCALL

“This is just relationship…ist,” you said angrily as you and Scott sat in the library working on an assignment together. Scott raised an eyebrow, half listening as he was actually working while you were flicking through a free Beacon Hills magazine that you could always find lying around the town in random places.

“I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

You put the magazine down in front of him so he had to actually look away from what he was doing, pointing to the ad on the page.

“Couples get a 50% discount at the Canary. Couples are the ones that can actually afford to be there, single people should be the ones getting the discount.”

Scott pushed the magazine back towards you, amused by your reaction.

“What’s so good about the restaurant, anyway?” he asked and you looked at him in disbelief.

“How – how could you ask that? The food is the best food I’ve ever eaten. It makes you want to cry rainbows it’s so good.”

He snorted, “if you let me do my work I’ll be your fake boyfriend and go with you.”

“You know the way to my heart, McCall.”

You told maybe one person that you and Scott were going for the discounted food and the word got out like Chinese whispers. Soon, everyone ignored the fact you were just going to a restaurant together and were talking about how the two of you were now dating. Both of you, even with Scott’s werewolf senses, were oblivious to the rumours and were sitting at lunch together when Stiles was the first person to sit down with the both of you.

“I can’t believe you two,” he said, you having your mouth full with your lunch but raising an eyebrow at him, “you’re dating and you didn’t even tell me.”

You nearly choked on your food.

“Where’d you hear that?” Scott asked casually, not denying the claim.

“From fucking Lindsay of all people! She wanted to know how long it’d be going on – how come everyone knew before your best friend?!”

You looked at Scott and to your surprise, he shrugged.

“We were going to keep it a secret.”

That was when the rest of the group sat down at the table.

“So it’s true then?” Lydia asked, looking between you and Scott and he took your hand, giving it a small squeeze.

“Yes, we’re dating,” and then he looked at you, “and we’re going to get a discount at the Canary. I want to cry rainbows.”

You knocked at Scott’s front door on Saturday night, ready for your fake date. The two of you had found the whole fake dating thing to be rather amusing, promising each other to keep it up until after the restaurant date and then saying that you would break up afterwards because you realised you were just ‘better off as friends’.

As Scott didn’t have a car you said you’d drop by his place after he was done practicing lacrosse with Stiles and Liam that day. Usually you didn’t mind just going on the back of his motorbike to places but tonight you actually got dressed up a little bit and you couldn’t risk having helmet hair or your makeup getting smudged.

“(Y/N)!” Melissa grinned as she opened the door, “come on in. Scott got home later than expected and he’s nearly ready. God, I’m so glad he finally got the guts to ask you out. He’s always gushing about his feelings for you and how he just doesn’t know what to do about it. He adores you, really.”

“Really, mum?” Scott said, knowing he was too late in defusing the embarrassing situation as he came walking quickly down the stairs.

“I’m your mother, it’s my job to embarrass you,” Melissa teased, “I guess that’s my cue to leave the two of you alone. Have fun – be safe!”

You only managed to yell a goodbye because Scott was pushing you out of the door, eager to get out of the situation.

“Don’t,” he warned, knowing you were ready to mention what had just happened, “you look amazing, by the way.”

“It’s not often I dress up like this so you better appreciate it. So should the discounted food, which I’m highly looking forward to.”

The Canary was filled with couples of all ages and you and Scott fit right in as plates of food were being placed in front of you.

“Are we going to be able to eat this all?” you asked.

“(Y/N), I’m a guy who also happens to be a werewolf. I could finish all of this on my own.”

He had a fair point.

The two of you were complimented several times by waiters for being such a cute couple, you both accepting these compliments graciously but with bright red faces. Ever since Melissa made the comment earlier about the two of you, you couldn’t help but wonder if she was joking because you’d always thought it was just you that liked him.

“What is it?” Scott asked, noticing your wondering expression. You gave a small shrug, feeling awfully shy which you weren’t usually like around him.

“Do you really gush about having feelings for me?”

This time, he was the shy one. Scott poked at his food, his cheeks reddening which they had been on and off throughout the night.

“I wouldn’t say I gushed about it,” he finally admitted, “but I do talk about liking you a bit.”

STILES STILINSKI

Saturday night had been a blur. The last memory you had was agreeing to do shots with Stiles and the next day you woke up safely tucked in bed (thanks to Scott) just before you launched yourself to the toilet to begin your day of being hungover. You felt like shit. And even on Monday morning as you walked into school you had a faint throbbing in your head and you were drinking more water when Stiles arrived.

“I’m never drinking alcohol again,” was the first thing you said to him, noticing he looked a similar way to you.

“Tell me about it,” he agreed, “but we say that all the time.”

You leaned against his side, waiting for the others to arrive when you got your first ‘congratulations’ from someone. Neither of you were sure what the person was congratulating you on but you thanked them anyway. Then it happened again when a girl from your English class walked past, lifting her hand to high five you.

“I heard about Saturday! It’s about time you two got together!” she said excitedly before walking into school.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” you asked, confused as to what you just witnessed as Stiles shook his head.

“I spent yesterday in the toilet. I didn’t even turn my phone on because the brightness made me sick.”

You waited a little longer and then Stiles suddenly perked up.

“Dude, there’s Theo. I saw him at the party on Saturday with that guy – I think he’s trying to get him to join his weird ass pack,” Stiles tried to tell you quietly, hoping that Theo was listening in.

“Or he could be into guys?”

“Well, you two were certainly a sight for sore eyes,” Kira suddenly said, appearing beside the two of you and making you jump. When she noticed the confused, she elaborated. “On Saturday, I mean. I didn’t know that getting the two of you together meant getting you drunk and having you confess your love to one another but man, it worked. That was gross.”

You and Stiles nearly had a heart attack. Quickly, you stepped away from one another, sharing a confused stare just as the bell went. Kira looked between the two of you but didn’t say anything, leaving you two alone as she entered the school on her own. Rather than say anything, you and Stiles went your separate ways.

During second period, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You glanced at the message from Stiles which simply read to meet him at your spot. Your teacher was reluctant to let you leave but when you did, you nearly sprinted to the spot under the third floor corridor staircase where Stiles was waiting clearly agitated. It seems you weren’t the only one having people come up to you and congratulate you on officially dating Stiles and that many people saw your proclamation of love which neither of you can remember.

“Do you remember?” you began but Stiles suddenly pulled you to him, putting a hand over your mouth. You were confused, only to hear Theo’s voice echoing the corridor and you got the idea. You tried to listen in with him but Theo stopped talking and soon you heard footsteps coming towards where the two of you were hiding.

Stiles swiftly kissed you, causing you to freeze up. You weren’t sure whether to pull away or to kiss him back, only to understand what he was doing when Theo finally stopped in front of the two of you.

“Whoa, Theo!” Stiles pulled away, “can’t a couple just have a few moments of peace?”

Theo’s eyebrows furrowed, “so the rumours are true.”

“The rumours? Didn’t you see us at the party?” Stiles wrapped his arm around you and you smiled sheepishly. Your teacher was gonna be pissed at how late you were going to be.

“Must’ve left by then.”

“With your guy friend?” you blurted out and Stiles tried to stifle a laugh. Theo decided it was best to ignore you – which it was – and began to walk back to class that he was obviously avoiding as well.

You looked at Stiles with a questioning expression but he shook his head, “we’ll talk about this later.”

You never talked about it later but you had a silent agreement to continue the fake dating. Both of you watched one too many movies and had the idea that if you did the couple getting caught making out when you were actually searching into something you shouldn’t be then it was a win-win deal. You were just too nosy.

“We’re basically detectives,” Stiles said, the two of you hidden in a corner of a club watching a group of suspected chimeras. The two of you had been awfully touchy the past few days, both of you trying to convince yourselves it was all just a charade but it wasn’t. If you were able to convince your friends that you were dating, the people you were closest to, then it wasn’t really fake.

“Do you wanna go home and watch Star Wars?” you yelled over the music and Stiles leaned his forehead against yours.

“You are perfect for me.” He said, grabbing your and leading you out of the club. Your heart was racing and even when you got to the car, Stiles continued to hold your hand on the drive back to his place.


“For our detective work, right?” you said jokingly to him when he pulled into the driveway, Stiles walking quickly around to your side of the car to open the door for you.

Stiles leaned in and kissed you, “this has never been about the detective work.”

THEO RAEKEN

“Leave me alone,” you said for the third time to a guy that hadn’t stopped trying to chat you up during the last big lacrosse game. You looked around, trying to find someone you knew to go to for help but the crowds of people all looked the same.

“Why? You got a boyfriend?”

“Why should that matter? Leave me alone.”

You tried to remember how to throw a punch – you even considered making a scene by yelling loudly for the creep to get away from you. But your rescuer stepped out of the shadows, wrapping their arm around you and you nearly punched them in the face until you saw who it was.

“This guy bothering you, babe?” Theo Raeken said sternly and the guy put his hands in the air.

“Hey! No problem here, Raeken!”

“Really?” Theo stepped towards him, “because you better not be bothering my girlfriend.”

Despite how scared you were, your heart was filling with butterflies for all the wrong reasons. You had Theo in a few of your classes and god, you found him insanely attractive. He was always sweet towards you and now you were never going to be able to thank him enough.

“I’m not! I was just leaving, I swear!”

You’d never seen someone move so quickly.

When he disappeared into the crowd, Theo turned to you and gave you the most charming smile. You knew about his powers and was fully aware that he could probably smell your lust and nervousness.

“Don’t mention it,” he winked before disappearing as well and you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

The next week you were sitting in the library on your own when Theo sat down beside you again, putting his arm around you. Your heart got caught in your throat as you glanced up at him, Theo seeming very comfortable and casual with the situation.

“Didn’t you hear?” he said with an amused tone, “everyone thinks we’re actually dating. I want to make sure they continue to think that so those guys will leave you alone.”

“What guys?”

“Over there. They’ve been saying some disgusting things about you and either I beat the shit out of them or they just get too freaked out to do anything in the first place,” he paused, “you’re cute when you’re nervous.”

You ignored him, “so, what? You’re fake dating me now?”

“Do you mind? I think it’d be fun.”

Theo took your answer as a yes when you blushed and look hastily away.

The next few weeks went past in a blur. It all started out as a bit of fun and eventually you were comfortable enough with Theo to get a bit into it as well. He never did anything beyond holding your hand or wrapping his arms around you but soon you were beginning to realise you wanted more – and so did Theo. He tried to convince himself that he was just doing this as a nice gesture because he’d thought you were vulnerable but he came to realise that you were stronger than even he was. You impressed him and Theo found himself lying in bed at night wishing you were there and he got excited whenever he knew you were nearby.

It was another big lacrosse game and Theo was finishing up some personal business when he saw a guy attempting to take the seat that Theo had originally be sitting in and chat you up. He clenched his teeth, storming towards you and his heart jumped when you made eye contact and you smiled at him.

“Hey babe,” Theo said, leaning down to where you were sitting, cupping your cheek and kissing you hard on the lips. You froze up but kissed him back, the guy that had been attempting to hit on you moving far away as possible.

“Get a room!” someone yelled and Theo moved away, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Q&A Jem and Emma

sarahalavi322 said:Hey Cassie, I was wondering why Jessa did not ever come visit the blackthorns/Emma. I know Jem sent little gifts and they were looking for kit, but 5 years of not seeing someone after you say you want to be there is a long time. Is there a reason why they are so distant besides searching for kit or warlock sickness? No one able to remember their wedding is throwing me off and it doesn’t add up. Jem is my fav character. I wish that he could be there for Emma more and it’s sad that he isn’t 😢

It is sad. Sometimes people are separated for reasons they can’t control, and sometimes misunderstandings play into that, as they did here.

Your timing is a bit off — Jem didn’t tell Emma he wanted to be there for her five years before he saw her again. He only saw her and introduced himself to her at her parabatai ceremony — two years before he saw her again (aside from a wedding none of the Blackthorns or Emma remembers, which is not a meeting). And unless I’m remembering incorrectly, he’s pretty clear then that he and Tessa are in the middle of a dangerous search, and I don’t think he intends or tries to get Emma’s hopes up that he’ll be there a lot — he knows he has to find the Lost Herondale first.

[Yep, updated to add:


““But I don’t know when I can be with you again,” he said. “Tessa and I, we have to find something. Something important.” He hesitated. “It will be dangerous looking for it, but once it’s found I’d like to be part of your life once more. Like a sort of uncle.””

That couldn’t be clearer. Once it’s found, I’d like to be part of your life. In no way is he suggesting he’s going to be there for Emma as an uncle/friend before Kit’s life is saved, which are exactly the priorities anyone who knows and loves Tessa and Jem would expect them to have.]

Now, we may know that Emma lives in a precarious situation with an unfit guardian. But Jem doesn’t — he doesn’t live anywhere near Los Angeles, or in fact have any permanent home, since he’s engaged in a worldwide search for Kit! As far as he knows, the kids all live a happy life with their uncle and their wonderful tutor, Diana. They lost their parents tragically, but so did he — and he didn’t need someone to swoop in and rescue him from his life with Will and Henry and Charlotte (who he considered as his real family — Jem would never think blood and a matching last name made people family; he would always think love and caring was the important aspect). Elias never really visited and Jem didn’t mind (more on Elias in TLH). As far as Jem is concerned, he’s something of an extra relative, and he’s not even sure how much Emma would want to see him and how much she’d think it was a kind of annoying visit from a distant relation. (She would love to see him, but Jem isn’t the sort to assume that.) Plus, Jem is only barely adjusting to life as a non-Silent Brother and probably doesn’t think of himself as a fit mentor for anyone. Now, I think he’d probably be great, but that doesn’t mean he thinks it. We can’t expect characters to view themselves the way we view them (”I am a popular character and will surely be welcome wherever I go!”) They’re going to have insecurities, and complicated feelings.

Lastly, looking for the Lost Herondale isn’t just because Jem and Tessa like Herondales. Kit isn’t even descended from Will. It’s partly because of a duty to the family, but partly because Kit is more than a Herondale: his heritage on his mother’s side makes him very important in the upcoming situations of TDA and TWP. Tessa and Jem knew they were racing against the clock to save Kit’s life before someone else figured that out: Jem didn’t think he had to race the clock to save Emma’s.

(Also a lot of times we wish that characters could be there to help other characters, but from a purely writing perspective, it would destroy the story. Julian and Emma’s story only works because there was no responsible adult around for five years except Diana, and she was forced to keep secrets that prevented her from changing the situation. It would have been nice to have Aline and Helen around, too* — it would have made for much happier characters, but unfortunately totally wrecked the story I had to tell about the consequences of prejudice and the results of growing up parented by a sibling. It’s not that no YA story can survive responsible adults blocking the kids’ attempts at agency at every turn, but this one couldn’t.)

*On the plus side, one of the fun things about writing Eldest Curses is being able to go back in time, so we’ll see Helen and Aline meet and fall in love in TEC.

Emotional Cheating

“Hiya love.”

Harry greeted from the doorway of your shared bedroom, his eyes looking discreetly at the clock that stated it’s 1 AM in the wee hours of morning.

“Told you not to wait up for me.”

He took his polo off that was slightly damp from his swear along with his jeans, leaving him in his boxers, going to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, feeling the extra fatigue come to his system once he felt fresh from having been tired in the studio and having a few drinks in the bar.

He went to your side of the bed and pressed a kiss on your cheek, a downgrade of what used to be a long kiss on your lips or a hug in where he’d nuzzle his face on the crook of your neck, completely inhaling your scent before pressing little kisses.

“How was your day?”

“’S good, finished some backing vocals. Had a few drinks with Nick and Kendall.”

Your stomach slightly felt queasy at the mention of her, but the feeling lifted for a second to realize that Harry’s your boyfriend, not her’s.

You weren’t blind to not see the older pictures of Harry and Kendall every time you scrolled down your feed of any social media account, nor the times Hardy made clear and evident that she was just a friend yet with him being a bit more talkative when she was there.

Yet deep inside you, you had the assurance that Harry loves you, yet not eaxactly as much as expressive as you are.

“You tired, baby?”

You asked, your hand going through his hair which made him release a sound of comfort, his head pressed upon your palm, humming out an answer you expected.

//

“Baby!”

You immediately relaxed once you heard Harry’s voice the moment he accepted your call, the bass of the loud music as his background not going unnoticed.

“Where are you, love?”

“O — oh! I forgot to tell you this morning! It’s Kendall’s birthday today!”

The plan of spending a special night with Harry crumbled underneath your fingertips, making you take a deep breath to control yourself.

It was supposed to be a night to be spent completely between the both of you, especially now that you were promoted a rank higher in your job, something that you’ve hoped for ever since the start.

“What time are you going home, H?”

He hummed, the image of Harry probably looking at his watch striking in your mind, making you wait anxiously.

“Maybe a few minutes after midnight? And Y/N, baby, I told you not to wait up for me. ’S the reason why you’re always tired in the morning.”

“God forbid I get tired, Harry. Wish her a happy birthday for me, will you?”

“Will do, love,” he almost shouted since he couldn’t hear himself through the music, the sound of his name being called by probably one of his friends being heard by the both of you.

“Okay. I love y-…”

You were cut short with the line being completely dropped, upsetting you maybe a bit more than it should, making you turn your attention to the drink in front of you.

//

“Cheating. They call it emotional cheating.”

“What?”

Harry’s eyebrows immediately furrowed from what you were saying, stopping himself from putting some clothes in his duffel bag that would last him for a day and in his toiletries, his attention completely turning towards you whose arms are crossed and standing in the doorway.

“Love, what the hell are you saying?”

He asked, nearing towards you and putting his hands on your shoulder, a concerned look on his face.

“Is this about your birthday tomorrow? Baby, I told you I would make up for it. You know I promised James I would come to his baby shower. Which happens to be in a yacht for a day.”

“Harry.”

“Y/N.”

“I would be lying if I tell you that I didn’t notice how invested you are in Kendall. Every time you see her, the picture; the conversations.”

Harry breathed out since he noticed you lately of you changing your habits slightly, of how your eyes looked tired.

Yet beyond that, he didn’t seem to notice on how much you compromised. On how much you adjusted your life around him so you could be simply with him.

“Love, it just happens that James invited Kendall too. It isn’t my decision.”

You stared at your feet, feeling the hollowness in your heart for what felt alike in the past few months, your hands being put on top of his shoulders.

“You love me, right?”

“I do.”

//

It was obvious.

The moment Harry appeared on the door from the night after James’ baby shower, he already knew that you knew it.

And in fact, you already knew it, if it wasn’t for the people tagging you on posts numerously that your phone blew up with notifications, nor the text James sent saying that he’s sincerely sorry because if he knew, he wouldn’t invite either of them and even scold Harry.

He was looking at you expectingly, the tears already flowing out of his eyes as his heart dropped on the sight of you sitting silently on the couch, cussing himself silently of how much he messed up.

“Please say something.”

His voice cracked, pleading for you to say anything, whether it would favor him or not because at that moment, the silence was killing him slowly. He knew how well you could give a silent treatment and remembered a promise to himself long ago that he wouldn’t cross you again because he hates it.

He hates every single bit of it.

“That’s a nice birthday present.”

His heart tightened of what she just said, regretting the things he’ve done faster than when he did it, fully knowing that you can’t and you’re not looking into his eyes.

“I’m giving you a choice. So you wouldn’t think of me as being selfish.”

You stood up, looking down the floor until your feet was a good ruler away from his shoes, making it as a basis so that you wouldn’t get close to him.

“Five days. First choice is I stay here and not talk nor do anything that has to do with me interacting with you. Second is that I stay in a hotel and we could talk. On the phone, one call. Five minutes a day.”

“Love-…” Harry cut himself short, clenching and unclenching his fist at the weight of the moment he carries.

“It would kill me to not either see you nor talk to you.”

You wanted to fight him with what he said, but you took off the urge, your gaze still fixed on the floor.

“Pick.”

Harry gulped, desperately wanting to fix what he caused in the first place.

“Y/N-…”

“Fucking pick.”

He knew it. He knew it better than anyone should to not break your trust. Especially when you cussed at him while fighting. And yet again, he brought it upon himself. The both of you suffering.

Harry hiccuped out his answer amidst his tears, feeling the pain sear right through his seams that he felt shitty to say the least.

“Second.”

Would he use his five minutes now?

It was less than thirty minutes after you left the house on the same day he went home, bringing yourself and nothing else but your car, your keys, your phone and your cash.

You figured that you would buy clothes in the mini botiques the hotel has once the air gets too suffocating in your room.

You figured that you would rely on the hotel’s complimentary incentives for the toilteries.

You figured that you would have a drink or two from the mini bar they consider that’s in their mini refigerator.

Harry thought of it for a moment if it would be a good time to use his five minutes. Even better is what’s he going to say.

Your commitment is hanging on by five phone calls he’s going to make, your judgement, and maybe includes his prayers for you to be back on his arms.

2 - https://pendantstyles.tumblr.com/post/162186715656/emotional-cheating-2

Answer me this: what good is it to fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for? What good is it to fight for someone who isn’t fighting for you? You can’t force him to try, you can’t force him to be consistent, to be loyal, or even to make a decision. You can’t make him care enough to stay with you. If it’s there then it’s there but if it’s not, then it’s not. You cannot fight for the both of you. You can only do your part and if he doesn’t meet you halfway then you know where you stand.

I knew where I stood but I denied it, I denied everything my mind knew and fooled myself into thinking you were just having a tough time. But you chose her. You chose to make it work with her, you chose to love her and you have that right. I just wish I had known it would end like this, I wish you would have told me you wouldn’t choose me, I wish I would have listened to reason. Because now I am here, stuck where I was before, with this vast, empty, gaping hole in my chest that I can’t fill, not with hate, not with indifference, not with boys, not with meaningless feeling, not with anything.


You made me think love is hard, that love is painful, that love tears you apart from the inside out and that real love stays through everything. But love is not pain, love is not hard, love does not tear you from the inside out and leave you broken and hurt, love is the one beautiful and pure thing in this world and you made me believe it was not and for that I will never forgive you.

—  the consequences of foolishness
One night // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: you’re in a relationship but you’re in love with Shawn- the only reason you’re not with him is because you’re scared of being hurt. One night things get heated between you and Shawn and feelings are confessed.

Requested: YASSS

Authors note: sooooo this is new


“So how’s Jeff?” his eyes glint mischievously as he turns to look at me, our attention quickly focusing on the other rather then the movie.

“Jeff?” I hum, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You know, your boyfriend?” the way he says it makes shivers crawl up my spine.

“He’s good,” I murmur, turning away from him.

“Just good?” he prods, nudging my side with his elbow making me squirm.

“He’s amazing,” I sigh, looking back a him. “He’s so kind and patient, never rushes me into anything I don’t want to do.” I pause, my eyes locked onto Shawn’s, his face blank of emotions.

“He listens to me, I listen to him. We work well together,” 

“Do you think he might be the one?” Shawn questions just above a whisper.

No words come out my mouth as I stare at him. Was my relationship with Jeff endgame? I had no clue.

“Why would you ask me that?” Instead comes out my mouth.

“Curious,” he whispers and in that moment it felt like the room heated up. It felt like the skin of my thigh that was resting against Shawn’s was on fire.

“I don’t know, its too soon,” I whisper back, unaware that I was moving closer to him.

“You’ve been dating for 7 months,” Shawn states, reciprocating my movement.

“Does that mean I have to know now?” I asks sarcastically and Shawn smirks.

“Its usually a good clue for a relationship,” Shawn looks like he wants to say something else.

“Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t,” I shrug. There was tension in the room, something that was unsaid between our friendship that was bound to come out soon. That time seemed to be now.

“Do you love him?” Shawn’s eyes blaze at the question, passion glowing in them.

“I don’t know,” I breathe the words, my face inches from his. I hadn’t even realize we’d gotten this close. The last time I’d been in a position like this with him was 9 months ago- before Jeff- where Shawn and I had kissed.

Deep in my soul, I knew I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to feel his heated lips pressed against my own as my hands trailed up his back to tangle in his hair. I shouldn’t want this- crave this, especially when I had Jeff.

“Why did you run away from me last time?” Shawn asks me quietly, immediately I know he’s thinking about the same thing I am.

“I..” I can’t find the words again. “I was scared,” 

He freezes, his nose brushing the tip of mine and my cheeks burn at the contact, his presence did things to my body that never occurred when I was with Jeff. 

“Of me?” his eyes drop to my lips before flicking back up.

“I don’t think I could ever be scared of you Shawn,” the thought making a smile appear on my face at the absurd question.

“Then what?” His tone is soft, weary. This is the most we’ve ever talked about it. After our moment of passion I had fled- not wanting to see Shawn. After that searing kiss I had buried my emotions in fear of being hurt by him. 

“I didn’t want you to break my heart,” I gulp, the truth finally out in the open.

“Y/n, I would never dream of breaking your heart,” Shawn whispers, his hands reaching up to cup my face.

“I know,” For some weird reason I’m crying. Shawn however, simply wipes away the fallen tears.

“The last thing I want is to see you hurt because of me,” he whispers. Jeff doesn’t even cross my mind as my best friend inches closer to me until his lips are about to brush mine.

“I wish that what I knew now, I knew ages ago,” he says and its like time has frozen, its just me and him.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble and he smiles but it looks fake.

“I wish you were mine, I know I’m selfish to want this when you have a boyfriend but you do crazy things to me,” His words pull me in until its like I’m drowning in them.

“There’s nothing wrong-” I don’t even bother finishing my sentence, my breathing rugged as his hands crawl to hold my waist, my skin feeling hot where his thumb lazily rubs the exposed area.

“One night,” he mutters, to himself or me I’m unsure. “I want you for one night, all mine,” 

Then his lips are upon mine and its everything I’ve imagined from last time. He tastes the same, minty with a slight hint of the tea he always seems to be drinking.

My hands are in his hair as he’s pulling me closer, his lips feverishly pressing into mine and I’m shaking from the feeling of his body against mine. 

Not once do I think of my boyfriend as Shawn picks me up, carrying me to his bedroom to place me on the bed. 

I don’t think about how he’s at home right now, trusting me, as my shirt is being discarded on the floor. 

I don’t think about how he’s been perfect in every aspect that a boyfriend could be as my jeans are peeled off my legs and Shawn crawls between them, his skin flush against mine.

All that crosses my mind is how Shawn is here, right now, kissing me, holding me, touching me. Friends don’t do this. Friends don’t feel this way about each other. A girlfriend doesn’t feel this way when she’s in a relationship with someone else.

Shawn’s damp forehead presses against mine as he raises his arms to press my hands against the mattress, entwining our fingers together as I cry out softly at the feeling of Shawn.

“I’m in love with you,” My eyes snap to meet his in the dimly lit room, his eyes filled with adoration and love. Just like Jeff’s.

“I love you,” I can’t help but whimper back at him. He murmurs it again, repeating it over and over as the night slowly fades away and the morning approaches.

When I wake up, he’s not next to me. I sit up, my stomach a mess of emotions. I slept with Shawn. That same sentence on loop inside my head.

Chucking a shirt over my head I make my way to the kitchen where I hear Shawn’s voice.

“Yeah no sorry she’s still here, she fell asleep and it was late,” his tone is impassive and I feel my stomach drop to the floor.

“Yeah I’ll tell her you called, bye,” He puts his phone on the bench, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the ends in a stressful manor.

“Shawn?” I ask softly. He turns around at my voice.

“Hey,” He smiles at me.

“Who was that?” My voice tremors, both of us knowing that I already knew the answer.

“Jeff,” I still take a sharp intake of breath at the name.

“Y/n,” Shawn breaks the silence. “I want you to know that not for one second last night that anything I said was a lie, I meant every word,” he’s searching my face, looking for a sign that I feel the same.

“Shawn,” I whisper, I’m scared I’ve stuffed everything up.

“Y/n please, no, don’t tell me last night was a mistake,” He’s tearing up quickly and it makes my heart clench. “You told me you loved me,” His voice wobbles and it tips me over the edge.

“I’m sorry,” I sob, my hand wiping my watery eyes. “I’m so sorry,”

“No, no,” I’ve never seen Shawn cry until now. “Please don’t tell me you’re going back to him,”

“I never lied last night Shawn,” He tries to smile but fails miserably. “But I cheated Shawn, Jeff never deserved that.”

“I should have stopped it when I could have,” He turns away from me, his shoulders shaking slightly.

“Hey,” I walk over to him, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

He turns slightly to me and I wipe away one of his tears and he sniffles, smiling, doing the same to me.

“Last night wasn’t a mistake for me, it was a mistake in a sense that we shouldn’t have done that when I was in a relationship but our feelings couldn’t stay hidden forever,” he pulls me into his chest as I comfort him with my words.

“I’m sorry about how it happened,” He mutters into my hair.

“I’m going to go home and talk to Jeff about everything, I just hope I haven’t ruined his trust in relationships,” I trail off, the guilt simmering in my stomach.

“We all make mistakes,” Shawn leans back to look at me, holding my face in hands. “You’re human and it happens, we can’t take it back,” A silence fills the room.

“I’m going to come back here tomorrow, we’re going to talk about us,” I tell him softly.

“There’s an us?” Shawn asks, shock written across his features.

“I love you, remember?”

Prompt list!

Here is the prompt list! Please make some requests the queue is widddeeeee open right now. Feel free to request any character, not just the ones I have already written! Alright let’s have some fun!

1.     “I love you, you idiot.”

2.     “That’s never going to happen.”

3.     “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”

4.     “Damn, when did y/n get hot?”

5.     “Only if you give me a piggy back ride!”

6.     “Who doesn’t like waffles?”

7.      “Just shut up and kiss me.”

8.     “Is there a reason your crawling through my window?”

9.     “You’re everything to me.”

10.  “I had the weirdest dream about you and now I can’t stop thinking about you naked.”

11.  “just tAKE THE JACKET”

12.  “I can’t stop blushing… You’re not helping!”

13.  “I’ll always be here.”

14.  “You’re my nerd.”

15.  “We could just make a fort…”

16.  “Hey! Don’t do that! You can’t do that to me!”

17.  “I don’t regret it, not even for a second!”

18.  “They’re right behind me aren’t they?”

19.  “Then come here and make me.”

20.  “Sometimes I wish the sun wouldn’t go down.”

21.  “Were you ever going to tell me?”

22.  “I’ve never said that to any one before.”

23.  “In your dreams!”

24.  “Oh bite me!”

25.  “I’ve never been more in love with you.”

26.  “Can you just hold me?”

27.  “Nothing would make me happier.”

28.  “Dance with me?” “But there’s no music!”

29.  “Where’s your shirt?”

30.  “The least you could do is not hog the blanket.”

31.  “You should stay hydrated.” “What?” “You should-“ “I heard you…”

32.  “Have you seen my… oh”

33.  “You’re not always right you know!

34.  “I can fix that.”

35.  “For the last time I AM NOT JEALOUS!”

36.  “Is this you trying to seduce me?”

37.  “Wait… is this a date?”

38.  “If I did anything right in my life, it was falling in love with you.”

39.  “ I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

40.  “I just miss you every second of every day.”

the t-shirt thief (m)

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 9,812

description: In the midst of your loneliness due to Taehyung’s absence, you decide that you need a distraction, which somehow manifests itself as going over to his apartment and stealing a t-shirt or two… or three… 

request: being in a relationship with taehyung, and stealing all of his t-shirts while he’s busy with bts’ latest comeback + smut

cr.


You watched with a prominent downward quirk of your lips as Taehyung ran around the apartment, quickly stuffing clothes into a duffel bag as he scurried in every direction to gather his things before he had to head off to the dorms. It was time for a comeback, and all of the members agreed that it would be much easier on everyone to just stay at the dorms together during the busy hype of the first couple of weeks. This cut down the annoyances of people showing up to schedules at different times, or getting caught in traffic, so you completely understood the point of it… You just wished it didn’t mean having to stay back at your apartment all alone.

At this point in your relationship with Taehyung, you probably should have been used to the notion of him having to leave for a few weeks, or sometimes even a few months, every once in a while… but just because you were used to it, didn’t mean you had to like it.

You fell back against the mattress, your mind heavy with thoughts, and you weren’t exactly trying your hardest to mask the disdain you had for him leaving, so it wasn’t surprising when you felt the slight sink of someone taking the spot next to you on the bed. You opened your eyes, a concerned looking Taehyung coming into view.

“Please don’t pout. You know I don’t want to leave.” He reached forward, lightly pinching at your bottom lip that was sticking out.

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10,000 - 11,100 Follower Prompt Batch Special
  • “I took your memories for a good reason, but I shouldn’t have.”
  • “Is it too late to come over?”
  • “Hey, let me in. It’s so cold out here.”
  • “I wasn’t sure if you could understand my language, what with you being ancient and all.”
  • “When I told you that you could come along, I meant silently.”
  • “I’m the opposite of flexible.”
  • “You’ve been talking for eight months and you still don’t know their name?”
  • “You wanted to stand out, so now you do. Is this not what you meant?”
  • “I can’t sleep at night anymore. I don’t like closing my eyes.”
  • “You stood there and let it happen. You get to face the consequences.”
  • “I can’t say this was one of my proudest moments.”
  • “I figured that I could mold myself into someone you could admire whilst you were gone.”
  • “You stop me from making bad ideas all the time. Of course I got a little dependent on that.”
  • “Take a look at what I have to do and now tell me it’s easy.”
  • “They were conducting experiments here. I was a part of that.”
  • “You can teleport! Surely you can get us out of this mess, right?”
  • “Even a master such as I can make mistakes.”
  • “I’ve been patiently waiting, but I can’t do that anymore.”
  • “Sometimes change only happens when we make it.”
  • “Whoever put you on my team is getting a stern talking to.”
  • “Even after all the evidence I collected, you don’t believe me?”
  • “You said it was rare, but that means it’s happened before, so there must be someone else who knows about it.”
  • “Rock, paper, scissors solves everything.”
  • “I was trying really hard to listen to you, but I’m so bored.”
  • “I won’t forget this.”
  • “After a lot of confusion, I think I’ve finally figured this out.”
  • “If being honest is all I have, then so be it.”
  • “Why am I here? Why, that’s easy! You asked for a miracle, remember?”
  • “We’re already fifteen minutes into the project. Why are you trying to stop me now?”
  • “I can practically taste the disaster.”
  • “I promise you that you don’t want to stay around here for long.”
  • “If you find a way out of this, take me with you.”
  • “None of this was my idea.”
  • “You were the stone and we were the birds.”
  • “It wasn’t hopeless. Look at what you’ve accomplished.”
  • “I never minded when you were around me. Why would that change?”
  • “Hate to break it to you, but you’re turning into an alien.”
  • “Don’t you dare let go of my hand. You hear me?”
  • “Duck your head and follow me.”
  • “Thing is, if I continue to think about it, I’ll only get more anxious.”
  • “I never wanted this for you. For any of you.”
  • “Do those marks look like they were made by an animal to you?”
  • “If I had said something else, would it have made a difference?”
  • “It’s garbage night. That means we lay here and feel like trash.”
  • “Maybe if I turn the music up louder, I’ll be able to ignore it all.”
  • “I wonder if it still qualifies as a problem if it doesn’t affect you personally? Hm?”
  • “Take a look around. This is our world now.”
  • “Were you expecting the aliens to be hostile?”
  • “Let’s break the rules and take over the world.”
  • “It’s time you knew where you actually came from.”
  • “Truth be told, you’re not the first one I would have chosen for this.”
  • “If it was easy, don’t you think I would have changed already?”
  • “I’ve been dead for so long, I’ve forgotten how to live.”
  • “Making you mad is so easy. I’ve been trying to see if I could set a new record.”
  • “Why do you always assume everything is my fault?”
  • “We have a special guest. Go clean up.”
  • “Together, we can find a way.”
  • “You can call it anything, but that was love right there.”
  • “I know you’re headed in the right direction.”
  • “If I hadn’t held you back, who knew what would have happened?”
  • “I like it when you sing to me. Why’d you stop?”
  • “Can you blame me for my excitement? This is huge!”
  • “I didn’t need you to come along. You messed everything up.”
  • “What’s the interrogation for?”
  • “Can you imagine how boring an endless slide would be after the thirty minute mark?”
  • “We can make this work.”
  • “It’s like all I can ever do is make you unhappy.”
  • “You could have talked to me if you needed it.”
  • “Why would I turn you? You don’t want this life. I promise you that.”
  • “I can see the end. Hurry!”
  • “Getting lost in a maze with you was a nightmare that I can only hope to never experience again.”
  • “I don’t know if I should trust you to get us there safely.”
  • “Did you finally have enough of me?”
  • “Believe it or not, I’m actually tired of people comparing me with them.”
  • “I’m tired of you doubting me. At this point, what do I have to do to prove myself?”
  • “I don’t say it often, but I do love you. Very much so.”
  • “I like the friendship we have, but I want something more.”
  • “Well, the vision I had was pure chaos. Let’s prevent that, shall we?”
  • “I’m proud of you. That you moved on.”
  • “Contrary to popular belief, I am actually a mind reader.”
  • “I didn’t know how to ask.”
  • “I don’t want to bring you down, but sometimes I need your support.”
  • “I’m sick and tired of living here. It’s so bland and boring.”
  • “I don’t want to be alone for the vacation, so come with me. Drop everything and pack up.”
  • “I’m way too nice to do that, sorry.”
  • “You can’t pick and choose which parts of me you can fix.”
  • “There’s no reason to be so cold.”
  • “Wishful thinking is a blessing in disguise.”
  • “Look! You’re doing it! I’m so proud of you.”
  • “We got this far and it’d be a shame to turn back now.”
  • “I can’t just leave it here. It was all cold and alone. Come on, please?”
  • “You look over there and I’ll look over here.”
  • “I’ll do all the chores for two months if you do my paper for me.”
  • “I thought you liked my stories?”
  • “Can you remember how nervous you were? Now look at you!”
  • “I am glorious, admit it. Maybe it’ll rub off on you.”
  • “I wasn’t afraid. I was just… Concerned.”
  • “Your heart was in the right place. It’s the thought that counts.”
  • “I was ten minutes late. There’s no way they didn’t notice.”
  • “I’m both a lover and a fighter. I’ll take you down and then give you a kiss.”
Words Aint Enough

It’s finally here. 
The one shot was inspired by this song by Tessa Violet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWAAFCZeIKM

Plot: Y/N never asked him to commit himself to her, but when Harry flirts with someone else it breaks her heart. 

Warnings: None aside from mentions of Sex. But there’s no smut. 

…. now….

I was in love with him. Whole heartily and knees weakening in love. Even though we were destined to fail.
What Harry and I shared was special, a bond much stronger than anything else I knew. Or so I’d thought. From the moment we met he was magical to me and enchanting. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was addictive.
And I would always do my best to keep him.
I liked what he liked, learned to care for the things he cared about and felt proud whenever he discovered as a happy surprise that I enjoyed the same things he did. Harry liked me a lot. I hoped that maybe if I adapted more to his likings he would learn to see in me what I had long begun to see in him. A plan that couldn’t possibly work.
Times passed and my heart grew heavier. Far too long my infatuation with him received little response and though I had tried not to let it hurt me and had kept on telling myself that some of his love was better than none at all, it’d pained me. There was only so much I could take, but to my misfortunate I’d realized too late just how much I depended on him. Too much. So far too much.

Harry had contributed a lot to me staying oblivious to his lack of romantic feelings for me. So many times he’d stolen a kiss to my cheek, had held onto my hand or had pulled me in to sit on his lap for no apparent reason at all other than the fact that he’d wanted me to be near him.

„You’re like my puzzle,“ Harry had murmured into my neck one evening after he’d pulled me onto his lap.

I’d giggled. „Because I’m confusing?“

„No,“ he’d laughed against my back, „It’s because we fit so well. With you sitting like this… ’S nice, you know?“

I wish I would have had the guts to tell him right then and there.

My fingers had squeezed his before leaning back into him. „Yes, I know.“

Always being the more confident between the two of us, I’d assumed those sweet gestures were him taking the steps I never dared to. Steps towards us being more than close friends.

But I’d been mistaken about quite a few things…

The first kiss he’d given me had been what doomed it all to change. His game of stolen touches and unspoken feelings couldn’t be played for much longer without me going insane over how much my feelings tore at my heart. And what had instantly followed our first kiss was much more.
I remembered that morning so well. I had opened my eyes and found him asleep by my side. Unlike all of his other touches, which could have been excused, this hadn’t been an accident. Kissing someone all night and whispering words over adoration… Sleeping with them. That doesn’t just happen.
Especially not when you’re as sober as Harry and I had been when we’d stumbled into bed and into each other’s embrace.

As I’d lain there I allowed my hand to reach out and touch his warm skin gently.
Images of Harry’s face only inches away from my own had clouded my memory. His kiss, foreign as I’d never got to taste his lips before and then familiar at the same time due to how many times I’d been staring at his mouth. Every curve, extra soft section and particularly warm spot of his mouth… I’d got to know them.

The smile was impossible to keep from my gracing my lips. Harry… my Harry, was naked and asleep in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets while I was wrapped up in his arms. His chest was pressed against my bare back making me feel safer than I’d ever felt before and when I turned my head just a little bit I could press my lips to one of his many tattoos. Even his legs were intertwined with my own. There would have been no untangling us even if we’d wanted to.

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Songs To Numb Your Mind With (PLAYLIST)

Because it is so good to be half-conscious and half-confused on a Sunday evening. Here’s my list of extraordinarily brain-stoning music pieces - sort of.

(unfortunately embedded video is only available to first five songs. This nevertheless means the rest are inferior to my view. Youtube links are still available to click on the title.)

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

No questions, no surprises.

Hyukoh - Mer

Nobody cares what in the world Oh Hyuk is singing because it’s sounds just sooo good.

Jeff Buckley - Opened Once

Not to mention that his voice is always silky and captivating.

The Black Skirts - Everything

This almost makes you wish you were in love.

Copeland - Kite

Don’t we all wish we were a child?

Porcupine Tree - Lazarus

Simply haunting.

Beck - Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime

Just the right consistency to follow you wandering aimlessly in town

Between the Buried and Me - Mirrors

There’s a reason why I ship them for 10 years. Their jazzy pieces are always effective. And this is only the beginning.

Copeland - Hold Nothing Back

Yes, I already mentioned the band. However I can’t just simply pass this on.

Steven Wilson - Deform to Form a Star

8 minutes, and not a single second to waste.

Donny Hathaway - Sack Full of Dreams

Not his original song, but I cannot imagine any version better than this.

Maxwell - This Woman’s Work

Get prepared.

Damien Rice - Amie

Does it come from an ethereal otherly world?

Between the Buried and Me - Laser Speed

Mentioned them twice because they deserve it.

Kate Bush - The Man With The Child In His Eyes

The original soundtrack of pitch-dark bedroom filled with nostalgia.

Radiohead - No Surprises

Because I cannot finish the list without mentioning any song from Radiohead.

{PART 3} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Thinking that you’re about to be fired, you start panicking about how you’ll survive with no job. Jungkook still can’t answer the many questions he has about you - and he questions himself in turn.

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4}

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

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