reason one why you should actually get around to watching this

i have thought a lot about censorship and what is “appropriate”. not a lot of people know this, but lolita was written to show what we allow on our bookshelves: there being no swear words in it meant it was free from censorship. a book about child molestation was allowed because it didn’t explicitly use the word “fuck”. he wrote it to show we don’t really care about protecting children, and it ended up being seen as a romance.

someone once told me - actually, many people have - that lgbt content isn’t appropriate for children. any content. not just kissing. i’m drowned in questions: “won’t the parents have to explain it?” “kids shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age, or do you think differently?” “what will the kids think?”

at six i saw disney movies. people kiss and get married. i didn’t ask “what does that mean.” i didn’t ask “are those people going to have sex?” i didn’t ask anything, because i was six, and no six year old thinks twice about these things. nobody ever “explained” being straight to me, it was a fact, and it existed, and i was fine with that. why would being gay require a thesis, i wonder.

someone once told me that the one of the reasons people hate lgbt individuals is because they can’t see us as anything but sexual. we’re not people, so much as sinners. that they don’t see love, they see sex. just sex. it’s perversion, not a matter of the heart. only of the body.

i think i was in my early twenties before i saw someone like me. 

how old were you, though, before you saw violence? before you saw sexual assault on tv? i think something like that is only pg-13, and if it’s implied, they can get away with anything. i remember watching things and learning about blood, but knowing sex - sex was what was really wrong. sex was always rated r. sex was always kind of a bad word. i was told a lot that i wasn’t ready.

i had a dream last night that i made a site where people could ask any question they wanted about sex and get answered by a professional. it was shut down in moments because 15 year olds wanted to know if it should hurt, if “double-bagging” was a real thing, if this, if that. we shudder. don’t let the children know about that! 

but at thirteen i had seen enough violence it no longer struck me. i couldn’t say “fuck” but i knew that if you break your femur, you can bleed out internally in under half an hour. in school i wasn’t allowed to write about loving girls because what would the administration think - but i could write about wanting to kill myself and people would say how lovely, how blistering.

i have thought a lot about censorship. sometimes people on this site try it with me: don’t write this, don’t be so nasty. some of it is intrinsic. we know as people with a uterus not to complain about “that time of the month”, we know better than to talk about sexual assault (how shameful), we know that talking about a vagina is somehow scandalous. i can say “dick” and nobody questions me. some people only refer to the bottom half of me by “pussy”. they won’t wrap a mouth around “vagina” like it’s poison to them. even discussing this, that the language halts, that there’s an intrinsic desire to say “girls” instead of “women” - feels naughty, illicit. not for children.

the other day someone suggested i make my blog 18+. i said, okay, it deals a lot with depression and other problems that might be for a mature audience. oh no, they said, that’s not it, i think that’s helpful. i said, okay. so what is it then. well, you’re gay. you write about loving women. and i said, i don’t write about sex often and they said. it’s not about the sex. but wlw isn’t for a general audience. teenagers aren’t ready.

oh.

lolita is recommended for high school and up. i think about that a lot. i know girls who love it, who say it speaks to them on a deep level. it’s beautiful prose, after all. that was the whole point of the novel. something that looked like a rose but was intrinsically awful. i think about how if i was a model they’d want me to look young, thin, prepubescent. how my body would be sold and how through the mall i walk by images of barely-clothed women while mothers cannot breastfeed in public without fear of retribution. 

i think about how i can write a novel about violence and it will be pg-13 but if my characters say “fuck” twice it’s inappropriate. i said fuck three times so far in this post, which makes it only appropriate for adults. 

i think about that, and how my identity is something that people suggest lines up with a swear word. that people shouldn’t talk about it. that it’s a vulgarity. bad for children, harsh, confusing.

fuck. i love women. which one makes this only for those over eighteen.

4

I’ve been thinking about this game. Personally to me it represents a lot of lost potential - it’s a great concept but it’s brought down by a less than stellar execution. The cartoon designs look more like stickers than anything, just barely resembling a stereotype of a stereotype of the 1920′s-30′s cartoon style. While I don’t like complaining about people’s choices in design and art, I guess the theme is one that I’m rather passionate about, and a little bit of research from the developers would bring the game to a much greater level of quality than it is at the moment. The monsters in the game are also just unimaginably lame, and to me represent just plain blowing off the original idea in favor of more “serious” horror.

(Continued under a readmore because I say a lot; tl;dr I talk more about where the game went wrong in my opinion and how I would recommend changing it.)

Keep reading

Dead Fandoms, Part 3

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.


Mists of Avalon

Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.


Robotech

I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.


Legion of Super-Heroes

Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex…and not much else.”

LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny. This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.  You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board…but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.


E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.


Prisoner of Zenda

Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.


A. Merritt

Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong - it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that…” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 


That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

Reunion

“You grew up.”

He laughs, rough and edging just slightly on bitter.

“Yeah, that happens when you disappear for two years.”

Derek’s eyes flit downward, and Stiles waits for him to comment on the FBI vest strapped to his chest but he doesn’t. His eyes only go so far as Stiles’ mouth, flicking back to his eyes and then down again, lingering, before sliding away. A warmth blooms out from Stiles’ chest, crawling up his neck and coiling downward, and this definitely isn’t the time for this but they haven’t seen each other in a year and a half, not even pictures because why the hell would Stiles have a picture of Derek (and he’s spent too long cursing not having pictures of Derek) and he finds his own eyes lingering.

“…You look exactly the same.” And that’s not true because Derek actually looks better, but there’s no real way to explain that Stiles hadn’t been able to hold all of the goddamn perfection of Derek’s face in his memory. He’d thought he had, but his eyes keep flitting around now and holding, catching on little details, little rushes of rediscovery in those eyes, that jaw, his teeth, his mouth, his…

Stiles wets his lips, and Derek’s looking again.

“We should––”

“I should have called,” Derek says at the same time, and Stiles blinks, breaking off, confusion pinching his brows because Derek hadn’t known Stiles was coming. He’d had no reason to call. Except… “After… Peter told me what happened, and I…”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, but it wasn’t any less fine than anything else from that shit show. It wasn’t any worse than Derek leaving town and getting rid of his phone to begin with.

“I felt sick the whole time you were gone,” Derek presses on, quick and urgent, like the words had been fighting for months to bubble loose and are finally breaking free. “I felt… Cora said it seemed like I’d just… emptied out. On the full moon, I could barely––”

Stop it.” It stung, because he’d thought Derek would care. For the longest time he’d felt like Derek should care, and deciding he didn’t was the first stepping stone to pulling himself together after… after the Benefactor.

Or… fuck, maybe Derek had cared, but he hadn’t cared enough to stay, to keep in contact, to check in when Stiles had needed… needed someone.

No, fuck. Needed him.

“This isn’t the time,” he says, firmly, because a fucking FBI SWAT team is nearby somewhere and there’s still a target painted on Derek’s back, and the fact that Stiles wants to crawl onto his lap and beat the crap out of him at the same time doesn’t matter, because Stiles is here to save his life. Again.

Derek parts his lips, looks like he wants to argue… and ends up just nodding, looking away up the street.

Stiles makes it a whole three steps toward the next corner before swinging back on him, balled fist smacking his bicep.

“Why didn’t you call?”

Derek doesn’t flinch at the blow. Sighs softly. When he meets Stiles’ eyes, the look in them’s enough to send months of coiled anger scattering.

“I would have gone back.”

“…What?” Stiles feels breathless on the word. Derek looks away, hands lost in the depths of his pockets and stance set in the defeated posture of a man with no way to win.

“If I’d heard your voice. If you’d asked. If you’d even sounded anything less than happy––” He grits his teeth, sharp and sudden, head ducking against some ugly thought. “…And I didn’t want to hear you happy, either.” That falls out lower, tight and rough like a secret shame.

“You didn’t want to hear me happy,” Stiles echoes, numb, and then slowly: “Without you.”

And he only understands Derek’s meaning because it’s been echoing in his own chest for over a year–– that stupid, selfish war of wanting to know he’s happy, and not wanting to know he’s happy, not wanting to hear him making a life and finding bliss in a way Stiles couldn’t give him. He’d always wanted to know Derek was doing well, so much that he’d lain up at night sometimes picturing new, bright, sometimes ridiculously corny futures for him… but the thought had always been as agonizing as it was hopeful and Stiles had never slept well afterward. And then he’d spent other nights up hating himself for being selfish enough to half-hope Derek might not be happy.

Might fail out there in the world, and come home.

Derek’s eyes are on his again, wide and shock-soft in a way Stiles had only glimpsed on him once before: the rush of thinking you’re alone in the world and realizing for one beautiful instant that you’re understood

He can feel a matching expression lighting up his own eyes.

“We’re idiots,” he breathes, and Derek shakes his head, barely seeming to feel the movement.

“I couldn’t go back there.”

“But you could have known I fucking missed you as much as––” He breaks off, despite everything suddenly unsure. “…you missed me?”

“I missed you.” Derek promises, not missing a beat.

“You missed me,” Stiles echoes, and it’s everything he never knew he needed to hear. They watch each other for too long, stunned, awed stillness.

And then the slam of a car door in the distance pulls them back; reminds them where they are and what’s happening. Derek blinks away, looking out and alert toward the street, but Stiles can see a faint flush around his ears, a happy pull that won’t quite die on his lips.

“This isn’t the time,” Derek says, and Stiles nods. There are villains to stop. People to save.

“This isn’t the time,” he echoes, but he’s smiling as he turns to head up the street. “Later.”

It sounds like a promise worth keeping.

OK so since @tom-hiddleston-god-of-mischief and other people showed interest, I bumped up my schedule and so…

Here is my ‘Craig is totally gay and was in love with the MC in college’ post!

So, first off- this is Craig Cahn and the thing that made me first think that he was gay instead of bi. (And fyi I am a Bi myself, so this is more headcanoning and exploring character and not trying to stomp on other headcanons, jsyk.)

Yeah the very first time we met. But look- divorces do happen, and do happen in a chill manner. But… let us note a couple things. One, the divorce literally only happened ‘last year’. Which could mean anywhere from (assuming this is the spring due to college letters and school timetables) 12+ to only 3-ish months ago depending on what counts as ‘last year’.

You only get a SECOND of him being uncomfortable while breaking the news before he is on even ground and is like ‘yeah it’s old news and everything is in perfect order now’. AND THE DIVORCE HAPPENED EITHER WHILE SMASHLEY WAS PREGNANT OR JUST HAD RIVER. Now, this could be a him lying, except… it’s never really brought up again as a thing? Like, we deal with Mat’s feelings for his dead wife, Joseph’s failing marriage, and etc but despite how recent it was we are lead to believe their divorce was perfectly amicable despite the timing.  (Now placing a cut here because this gets long and has more pics.)

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There are definitely many things worth criticizing in Steven Universe, but it’s weird because one of the biggest criticisms I see is something I personally love about the show?

It’s a lot of criticisms that basically boil down to “pacing”. 

Like “They keep setting up this big mysteries and then not paying off on them!” or “A big thing happens and then we get right back into filler episodes!” and like

Yeah? Exactly. IDK what to tell you. 

Rebecca Sugar is like reverse Steven Moffat, I almost feel like. She sets things up without you even knowing anything is being set up, so it doesn’t build tension, but then when you get the payoff it’s satisfying and obvious. Or, alternatively, she introduces a big plot element, and it’s like “Are we ever going to address this?” and then, eventually, when it naturally comes up, we finally do. 

We saw Connie’s glow bracelet in episode 1, and didn’t even know it was foreshadowing until we me Connie 8 episodes later. We didn’t learn Garnet was a fusion until 50 episodes in. 

We met Lion in episode 10, and there were SO MANY QUESTIONS. What is he? Where do his powers come from? What is his connection to Rose? And we never directly got answers to those questions - instead they were indirectly answered in a “filler” episode about a historical Beach City in episode 106 that really only raised more questions than it answered, followed by the most recent episode, 132, which was about Lars and Homeworld and also, you know, incidentally answered the entire Lion mystery. 

Over three years after it was introduced we finally learned what Lion’s deal is, and it wasn’t even in a Lion-centric story. But you know what? It was still satisfying. At least, I thought so. 

I don’t get the feeling that that explanation was made up. Watching it, I get the feeling Rebecca Sugar knew three years ago what was up with Lion. She just wasn’t going to incorporate it until it became immediately relevant. 

It’s slow, honest, sprawling worldbuilding that I can really fucking get behind. The writers know what this world is and who these characters are, they just aren’t going to force exposition or explanations where they wouldn’t naturally occur if they can avoid it. 

IDK, the whole “we just introduced this big new thing, but now the characters are just dinking around? Living their lives? Why???” thing is, to me, at least a solid half of the draw. I like the show is approachable, that the tension is present but not overbearing. 

It feels like life. Big, life-changing, worldview shifting things happen. And at the same time that it changes everything, it doesn’t actually change very much at all. 

A good friend dies suddenly, you still have to make yourself lunch. Your parents are getting a divorce, you still hang out with your friends and maybe even act like everything is normal. And maybe even forget while you’re hanging out with your friends what is going on at home. You get arrested, get out on bail, know you have a huge case coming up that could determine your whole future, you still play video games for a couple hours the next night, you still go to work the next day. You’re working with your lawyers and everyone to put together your case, of course, but normal life doesn’t stop. It rarely ever does.

IDK, I see these criticisms like “They introduces Bismuth and then just benched her!” or “They introduced the cluster and then it didn’t actually do anything” and it’s like, yet. I have no reason not to trust that those things won’t be coming back around. Everything else in this show has, in time, come back around so far. From seemingly insignificant side characters, to weird locations, to random trivia. 

There’s an old saying, “things change slowly, until they change all at once”, and it has, in my life, generally proven to be true. And it seems to be the Steven Universe approach to story pacing. And I, personally, really really like it. And it’s cool if you don’t. But I don’t think I’d like the show as much if it weren’t so chill. It’s a show that drips along in tiny, soothing, sentimental increments. 

It’s fine if that’s an aspect of the show you don’t like. I have preferences and there are things I don’t like even though they’re arguably good. But I keep seeing people propose it as an aspect of the show that is bad writing. And, I just can’t wrap my head around that? It’s perfectly fine writing. It’s even, often, great writing. I prefer a slow and quiet accruement to a plot-heavy infodump any fucking day. Not that there isn’t often call for the latter, depending on the story you want to tell and how you want to tell it. But I prefer the former. 

So far I haven’t been given any indication there isn’t a planned followthrough for all the many, many threads Steven Universe has laid. They’ve successfully followed through enough times before, often on things we weren’t even aware we should be looking out for, that I imagine they’ll keep doing so. The only reason I ever see the show failing to do so, and having a rushed and unsatisfying end, is time. If they get prematurely cancelled, or prematurely decide to end things out of personal desire to work other projects, then yeah, SU could end badly. Lots of stuff could end up unexplained or given a quick unsatisfying end. But there’s no evidence of that yet, so right now I’m going to take the pacing choices as just that. Choices. Good ones, that I like. Even if they aren’t to everyone’s taste. 

Reaper: Chapter Two

His hand was warm.

Isa pulled me to my feet. “Just a second,” he said, scanning the area.

I didn’t feel dead. I could feel the wind on my skin and my heart hammering in my chest. My hands were trembling with adrenaline. That had to be a good sign.

“Kat,” Isa said, startling me. I had been staring at my hands so intently that I hadn’t noticed he was holding out his hand to me again.

“I’m not dead,” I informed him a bit giddily, taking his hand again.

Isa didn’t smile, but the corners of his eyes crinkled. “This way,” he said, pointing with his free hand. I looked, but he seemed to be pointing towards thin air.

He led me away from the broken highway and my silver car, wading through the faded brown grass. After about twenty yards he stopped and turned to me.

“I need you to think of a place,” he said, “Any place.”

My mind went blank. “Any place?”

“Anywhere. Visualize it in your mind. Got it?” I hesitated before nodding. “Good. Now we’re going to take one more step together.”

I looked at the grass before us. It didn’t look any different from any other patch of grass we’d passed. I drew a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“And go.”

As we stepped forward together, the air went…soft. Like a deep, thick mattress. Like holding an overripe peach in your hands and slowly pressing in your thumbs, letting them sink into it. Not hot or cold or anything like that. Just soft.

Less than a moment passed before the softness was gone; I didn’t even have time to blink. We were still standing in the grass by the highway. I could see my car close by and the mountains looming in the distance. But the edges of the mountains were vague and unclear, and the light that filtered through the clouds was tinted red, almost as though it was shining through rose-colored glass. More telling was the quiet. The wind had disappeared, and the grass was silent and still.

“You know,” Isa commented, “I think people usually choose somewhere other than the place they’re currently standing.”

“I panicked,” I responded, taking in everything around me, “Which seems to be my basic state of existence at this point.”

Unlike everything else, Isa seemed more real than ever. The basics were still the same: pale, ashy skin stretched tight over his body, white hair, and jet black eyes set deep in their sockets. His fingers and limbs were overly long for his body, and he was wearing a black hooded coat with loose sleeves, grey pants, boots, and a t-shirt with a vintage ad for spam.

However, his skin lacked the translucent quality it usually had, and his shadow -

“You have a shadow,” I blurted out, “You have a - the grass. You’re actually crushing down the grass.” I knelt down and confirmed for myself that yes, the grass could be pressed down, and then I turned around and thrust out my hand. The softness was waiting just feet behind me. “Where are we?”

“This is an inbetween place,” he replied, watching as I shuffled a few feet to the side and stuck out my hand again, “We needed somewhere safe to talk.”

I pulled my hand from the softness and tried again. “And the deserted highway wasn’t cutting it?”

Isa pressed his lips together. “It’s not humans that I’m worried about overhearing us.”

I paused mid thrust. “Oh.” The fear which had almost been forgotten in my wonder flared up.

“Here,” Isa said, and he took my hand again, leading me around whatever invisible portal we had passed through. Almost mindlessly I walked towards the car.

“Are we safe here, then?”

He shrugged. “Should be. I don’t think I was followed - there’s no good reason anyone would, really, I’m not a major player. But it’s not wise to talk about these things in the open on principle.”

We reached the car, and I stretched out my hand to touch it. It was solid under my fingers, but the numbers on the license plate were scrambled, changing every time I blinked. 

Isa stopped me as I went to open the driver’s side door.

"I just wanted to see if it would start,” I said.

Isa shook his head. “It might, but it’s not wise to go through any doors here. There’s no telling where you might end up.”

A little disappointed, I perched on the trunk instead, pulling up my legs and wrapping my arms around them. Isa stood before me, hands shoved in his pockets.

“So…” I started, Isa looking at me expectantly, “Are you an angel?”

Isa burst out laughing. It was an odd sound, out of place in the unnatural silence of the inbetween.

“No, and I wouldn’t let an angel hear you say that if I were you. Actually, it would probably be fine; most angels I’ve met are quite nice. But trust me, if you ever meet an angel, you’ll know it. People tend to fall over when they show up.”

“Okay, not an angel.” There went half the theories I’d ever read. “Then what are you? And don’t say a reaper.”

“I never really liked that name anyway,” he replied. He kicked the ground for a moment, thinking. “I’m the guardian of your soul. I’ve been with you since your soul first joined your body. I will ensure no one touches it until your life is complete.”

“…And when my life is complete?”

“I take your soul,” he answered nonchalantly, “ - Kat?”

I rolled off the car, running into the field, running towards the softness.

Maybe he wasn’t an angel after all. But there were other theories about the reapers.

“Kat?” he called after me, “I’m not taking your soul here and now.”

I stumbled to a stop in a panic. The grass all looked the same. Whatever gateway we’d walked through wasn’t marked by any kind of visual cue. I was effectively trapped.

“Maybe you’re not taking it now,” I said as I turned, arms tight by my sides, hands clenched, “but you’re going to.”

Isa walked towards me slowly, “That probably wasn’t the best way for me to phrase that.” I shrank away from him instinctively, and he sighed. “This would be easier if I was an angel. They’re good at explaining things. Can I try again?”

He waited until I nodded hesitantly.

“I’m the guardian of your soul. I was bound to you the moment your soul entered your body. While you live, I’ll protect your soul from harm. When your days are complete, I’ll carry your soul to its rest. I’m not going to kill you, consume your soul, drain your life force, steal your corporeal form,  keep you in a tortured disembodied state devoid of all sensation, or anything else of that kind.”

I stared at him. “That’s…really specific.”

“But you’re not running this time,” Isa noted.

“If you’re lying, I’m screwed anyway,” I retorted.

“Ah.” Isa’s body seemed to droop ever so slightly. “I liked it better when you just trusted me.”

“And I liked it better when I wasn’t afraid I was going crazy,” I snapped. I shut my eyes and paused, willing myself to breath deeply. “I’m tired. I’m stressed and exhausted and I have no clue what’s going on. You disappeared for two weeks and I didn’t even know reapers could do that, and now you’re talking and you touched me and I’m somehow not dead and we’re in a freaking alternate dimension or something and it’s just a bit much.”

“I didn’t intend to let things get this out of hand,” Isa admitted, “I only thought I’d be gone for a few hours at most.”

Finally, the question that had been burning in my chest for weeks. “What happened? Why did you leave?”

“There was a reaper who needed help. He and his human were being targeted, and they weren’t going to make it.”

“Are they okay?”

His face brightened a bit. “They are. The woman died and he was able to deliver her soul safely.”

“Your definition of a happy ending and mine are a little different,” I muttered, “What did they need protection from?”

Isa looked grim. “There are many beings who would want to misuse a human soul,” he said softly, “And there are others who would like nothing more than to see a reaper give into the temptation to take advantage of their charge. Some of these were attacking this reaper in the hope of either claiming the soul for themselves or, if nothing else, forcing the reaper into a position where he drew on the soul for power. I thought they’d back off once I came to his aid, but they fought until the end.”

Behind Isa’s shoulder, I saw something like a dark smudge on the horizon where the mountains met the sky. A horrible sense of wrongness settled in my gut.

“I didn’t mean to leave you for so long,” he continued, “And it shouldn’t -”

“Isa,” I interrupted, pointing urgently, “There’s something here.”

Isa turned to look. The smudge was getting larger. “No,” he said, “No no no no!” He grabbed my hand.

“We need to move now!” He took off across the field, dragging me behind him. We passed through the softness and the world shifted, the rosy light turning grey. We sprinted back to my car.

I looked back towards the mountains. I couldn’t see anything.

“Get in the car,” Isa ordered, and I hurried to do so. After buckling myself in, I looked up to see Isa pull out a gun.

“Drive home as fast as you can,” he said, ignoring my shock, “And don’t stop until I say so.” With that, he swung himself onto the roof of my car.

I turned on the car and made a U-turn, pressing the pedal to the floor. A minute later gun shots rang out, and I looked into the mirror to see something burst through the portal and hurtle down the broken highway in pursuit.

Watchful Shadow

Writer - @damndescendants

Requested - @too-good-to-be-tru 

Hi! Can you do a Harry Hook x daughter of Peter Pan?

Disclaimer - I do not own any of Descendants’ characters and/or ideas all credit goes to the creator and producers of Disney Descendants

Pairing - Harry Hook x Reader

Summary – (Y/N), daughter of Peter Pan goes to the Isle with Mal only to run into an old friend

Warning(s) - none

Originally posted by butterflywingednight

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— slowdance on the inside | (m)

Originally posted by kimthwriter

pairing: kim taehyung x reader | feat jeon jungkook
genre/warnings: light angst, romance/fluff and smut
words: 20,476
summary: Taehyung has liked you as long as he can remember. He’s unsure when the line blurred from friendship to romantically, but it’s about to get a lot worse when he’s forced to watch you date his friend, Jungkook…


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Inexorable (2)

Plot: How does is feel to be arranged to be married to a cocky, arrogant Mafia leader? Once you look at his face, you think you’re lucky, but then he opens his mouth.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, (eventual) smut, Mafia au!

Notes: Welp, since so many of you asked for it, here is a part two!! There are two other stories which need a continuation as well, so I might keep requests closed for a while.. Sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind. Feel free to ask me questions, though! Ya’ll are so nice to me! 2,053 Words

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (FINAL)

The ride to the vacation home wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your husband actually gave you the space you needed. There were brief glares exchanged between the two of you, a whole lot of drinking, and forced slumber – it was a 3 hour ride, after all. 

When the both of you had finally reached, the luggage was taken out by the bodyguards who had come along, and brought to your huge master bedroom. It was twice the size of your father’s office – if not, bigger – the bed was king-sized, and adorned with silk sheets. The walk-in wardrobe was already stacked with clothes for both sexes, making you wonder why you had even brought luggage in the first place.

“Too small, honestly,” Jungkook commented, plopping down on the couch by the fireplace. “My room is bigger than this.”

There he was, ruining the moment again. It was a good thing you were too exhausted to fight with him; but that didn’t mask over the fact that you still wanted to knock him out.

“Brat..” 

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q&a: Kieran

princekierz said:

Hi Cassie. This is about Lady Midnight, not Lord of Shadows, so I may be a little late but anyway. People who hate Kieran are constantly bringing up the fact that he tried to convince Mark that he being with his family again wasn’t real in that note he sent him and I really can’t understand why he did it? What was the true purpose of that note? Can you please tell me? I love Kieran, and I don’t like when people are unfair with him. Thank you.

That’s interesting – I have to admit it never really occurred to me people would be confused by what that note meant/was about. The below contains spoilers but not major ones, so skip if you are avoiding even mild spoilers.

First I should say it’s fine to dislike a character. There is no character I have written or read about that someone hasn’t disliked for some reason. If that character is in a love triangle, multiply that by 100,000,0000000. (That may not be a real number but you get the point.) I’ve been thinking a lot about liking and disliking characters and the act of reading with empathy, which I will get to more at the end of this essay. Right now I’m just going to talk about what that note meant, and the way in which Kieran is a complicated sort of character generally.

We read for lots of reasons. To see our own experience reflected (a “mirror” reading experience) and also to see experiences that are not ours. (A “window” experience.) One of the interesting things about seeing the judgements of Kieran is the expectation that he is meant to act like a mundane human being (one who has dutifully read not just many relationship-help tomes but also all the Shadowhunter books – thanks, Kieran! – and is well acquainted with the Blackthorns despite never having met them). At very least, he is expected to act like a Shadowhunter, and not at all like a Faerie – despite the fact that a Faerie is what he is, and as a Faerie, he is not like us. He does not have typical human cultural beliefs about love (in good and bad ways), or commitment — he doesn’t mind at all whether Mark has sex with other people — or what promises mean, or what is personal space (a ridiculous idea to a Faerie.)

Mostly what I’ve seen complaint-wise about Kieran is that he is manipulative, which is true only to the extent that he has grown up in Faerie, where everyone is manipulative. Because they cannot lie, they have created a complex society of misdirection and manipulation and Kieran, growing up as Prince, would have been raised in the heart of that. He would know no other way to behave, and indeed has only been learning, slowly, different human patterns of behavior. He is actually really terrible at being manipulative — not a patch on Julian, for instance — and mostly he is neither good at it nor does it that often. But we can certainly look at what he has done.

So, on to the note and the vague six words it contains. (I don’t really understand what “he tried to convince Mark that he being with his family again wasn’t real” means, because Mark was obviously with his family and not, say, on a balloon tour of Cappadocia. I don’t think even the Seelie Queen would have tried to convince him otherwise, because that is not manipulation, that is waving your arms around yelling “Mark! They’re dosing you with PCP! That’s not really Ty! It’s a huge bunny!“ which is not going to work and nobody would reasonably think it would.) So I’m just going to gather that some sinister goal is being implied here and talk about why Kieran did send the note.

Remember that none of this is real. Why did Kieran say that? Because he was worried about Mark and thought it was the truth. Not for another reason. I gather there is an assumption that the phrase "remember that none of this is real” is somehow about Mark’s family, but it wasn’t. If Kieran had wanted to say “don’t trust your family” or whatever, he would have said that. The note was about the entire world of the Nephilim. Nor was it anything Kieran didn’t entirely think was true.

Nor was he entirely wrong.

Kieran was cast out of the King’s court because he was well-liked and the King saw him as a threat. He spent his years in the Wild Hunt with Mark watching as Mark’s heart broke every single night when he counted out his family’s names on the stars. He felt Mark’s agony when Mark saw Simon, and thought Simon had come to bring him back to the Nephilim, only to find out the Shadowhunters had abandoned him like garbage. Experiencing the agony of someone you love is worse than experiencing your own. After living through the horror of Mark’s despair and crushing loss, is it particularly surprising that Kieran might be wary of Mark getting attached to his family again only to be ripped away from them again – which is in fact what pretty much everyone in Lady Midnight thought was going to happen? Like, nobody thought this majorly fuckerated offer from the Fair Folk was likely to have a good outcome? Julian was terrified what it meant for the kids and thought it might be better if Mark had never come back? Kieran is unlikely to have a more positive view of the kindliness and honestly of the Clave (or the Courts of Fae) than Julian does.

Here is what Kieran knows to be fact:

Shadowhunters hate Faeries.

Mark was abandoned by his people. The Nephilim, certainly, his family, perhaps. Kieran knows they never tried to get in touch with Mark, and he is unaware of the Blackthorns’ complicated circumstances, that they were forbidden to look for Mark, and that they needed to protect Helen. There is no way he would know about those things, unless he had read the books. (Read the books, Kieran!).

He knows the Shadowhunters have enacted the Cold Peace, a series of racist laws punishing Faeries. He knows Mark will be in danger from this.

He has no reason not to think that when Mark is returned to the world of the Nephilim, using his family as bait, they won’t chop his damn head off.

That is what Kieran is urging Mark not to think is real. Nephilim promises. The idea that he will be safe outside Faerie in the Shadowhunter world. And Kieran is not exactly wrong either. We are all glad that Mark is back with his family….and if the Cohort gets into power they might chop his damn head off. Maybe he would have been better off back in the Wild Hunt.

Kieran can’t lie – and he can’t lie in writing either. He said what he said in his note because he was frightened for Mark, and he wanted him to stay safe. In no way did he mean “Your family doesn’t love you,” because if he thought that, he would actually have said it at some point, ever, rather than being incredibly vague in a note that, since he has never said anything remotely like “Your family doesn’t love you” to Mark, Mark would find incomprehensible. Mark understands the note perfectly, because the idea that Nephilim as a group are not trustworthy is not new to him nor is it a huge surprise Kieran would feel that way. (There’s also a lot of numinous stuff to get into about what real and unreal means to faeries, in a magical sense, but there’s no room here, alas.) Kieran has lots of opportunities to say bad things to Mark about his family if he wanted to, but IIRC he never does.

Misguided is not the same as manipulative. To be manipulative means that you’re playing on someone else’s hopes or fears to achieve selfish ends without regard for their well-being. But the idea that Kieran is a cold-hearted bastard who didn’t mean a word of the note (despite not being actually able to lie) and is a consummate actor doesn’t really jibe with anything we actually know or observe about Kieran. Far from having Julian’s ability to play others like guitar strings, mostly Kieran blurts out what he means when he means it and never even tries to pretend otherwise. He can be petulant as hell and annoying, showing up to see Mark when he’s not supposed to and sulking about whether Mark likes someone else. He can be manipulative in the way he sometimes kisses Mark when Mark is trying to be logical because he’s insecure and he trusts Mark’s desire for him even when he can’t convince himself Mark really loves him (but this doesn’t really work, which is what I mean by Kieran not being great at manipulation). He very foolishly interferes with Mark’s dream in Lord of Shadows because he wants to talk and he thinks giving Mark a dream in which they’re having a friendly conversation means he’ll find out what Mark’s hiding. (Which is another example of him not really understanding human issues. All he wants out of the dream is a talk — “Because you are not truthful with me. Your heart is closed and shrouded. I cannot see it,” Kieran said. “I thought, in dreams, perhaps …” — and the dream starts out with them sitting and talking while one bandages the other, and Kieran manages to get in the idea that he knows Mark is lying to him. Things take a sexy turn, but not because of Kieran. He can’t control Mark’s dreams in every detail: if he could, there would be literally zero point in a dream in which he’s hoping Mark will volunteer to tell him the truth. Mark has to have free will in the dream or there’s no point in what Kieran straight-up says the dream is for, and again, Kieran cannot baldfacedly lie. And Kieran is right — Mark is lying to him, in fact the whole family is gaslighting him, which is why it pains Mark when Kieran recalls the phrase “remember that none of this is real.” Because none of it, in this case, IS REAL. Kieran is being lied to by EVERYONE. However, Mark is still right that Kieran shouldn’t be poking at his dreams — and he shouldn’t. Kieran, as a faerie, doesn’t really get that: dreams aren’t private to him, and besides, Mark has allowed Kieran into his dreams before, so Kieran assumes it’ll be okay now, because Mark said it was all right previously. But this is where Kieran needs to learn not to make assumptions, and to value Mark’s privacy even if he doesn’t really get it. Does he? He seems to: he listens to what Mark says, and he never touches his dreams again. In fact, they actually have a pretty useful, healthy conversation about it, though we have to wait until QoAD to see how any breakthroughs they make in LoS play out.)

So yes, Kieran can make spectacularly bad decisions, with the worst of them being when he thought getting Mark hauled back to the Wild Hunt for an infraction was a good idea and wouldn’t result in any collateral damage. And Kieran deserves to be blamed and to feel guilty for that, nor do I mean to excuse him – and I have no interest in doing that; that wrong that he did is a building block of his flawed character. As I saw someone say on twitter the other day, which probably means you’ve all seen it many times, characters are not all either angelic cinnamon rolls or problematic monsters. Like people, because they are intended to reflect people, they exist on a continuum of behavior: some fail and learn, some fail and never learn, some have good intentions and some bad, some grow and change, some are changed by grief or shock or maturity, some cannot grow and are tragic figures. Committing a manipulative act doesn’t damn you forever unless you keep committing manipulative acts forever. If people (and characters) were rendered garbage by past mistakes, there would be no need for therapy or books, since both are about how people learn to change.

As Kieran says: “Everyone is more than one thing. We are more than the single actions we undertake, whether they be good or evil.” That was in Lady Midnight, and it’s possible he was thinking about the fact that he never tells Mark in that book that the reason he wanted Mark brought back to the Wild Hunt so badly – the reason he turned Mark in, hoping he’d be dragged away from the world of Nephilim – was not so that he could date Mark, but because he had been told Mark was going to be murdered. That Mark’s head was going to be chopped off NOW. That doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it makes it a lot less manipulative in two ways: he actually wasn’t acting for a selfish end, but to protect Mark from death, and he never tells Mark that in LM, letting Mark blame him. He lets Mark break up with him and walk away from him with only quiet resignation as a reply. He does nothing to try to make him stay and attempts no manipulation at all, nor is he manipulative when he shows up to help save Tavvy – he offers help, gives it, and expects nothing in return. Only when Kieran is in shock over having been lied to, and his sudden recollection of his own mistakes, does he tell Mark that he was in fear for Mark’s life – which makes a big difference to Mark, who is able to recognize what that means about why Kieran did what he did.

[Kieran said] “Iarlath had hinted you would not be safe in the Shadowhunters’ world. That they were planning to lure you back, only to execute you on some trumped-up charge. I was a fool to believe him. I know it now.”

“Oh,” said Mark. The knowledge unfolded in him, realization edged with relief. “You thought you were saving my life.”

Kieran nodded. “It makes no difference, though. What I did was wrong.”

(Emphasis mine.) Kieran is flawed, he screws up. He is also capable of acts of great nobility – his willingness to testify to protect the Blackthorns at the end of LOS being one of them. Kieran spends LOS being lied to and manipulated by everyone around him while his memory is gone. He is trapped in the Institute, a place so full of anti-Faerie magic that it makes him so sick he can barely eat. He suspects Mark is jerking him around in some way, he turns out to be right, and he’s still willing to testify in the Blackthorns’ defense. He is also able to see when he is/was wrong, and acknowledge it. None of this makes him a perfect person, but it certainly complicates him away from the oversimplified reading that he’s a manipulative horrorshow and that’s the end of the story — especially when a huge chunk of the story has yet to be told.

My suspicion, since there are plenty of other flawed characters in these books stumbling along messing up, is that Kieran’s true crime is being part of a love triangle. Having been through this before I remember well the long essays about how Will was a horrible person and the Wessa relationship was toxic and Jem was a horrible person and that relationship was toxic because dying people should know not to bother other people with their feelings (seriously). That is how people talk about love triangles these days; it seems to be a contest about which relationship is perceived as healthiest, which people are the best and most deserving people of the prize (Tessa, or in this case, Mark). There are a couple problems with that: one that is an unhealthy relationship can become healthy. (It obviously depends on the relationship, some absolutely cannot and should not be fixed, but there would be little need for marriage counselors if relationships could not be made healthier.) The second is that if you want to hate a character, you can convince yourself they are evil even if they spend a whole book saving bunnies, nuns, and salmon who can’t find the salmon cannon, so the arguments do get a bit circular after a while. Certainly I have come across plenty of essays about how Cristina is terrible and should go away because Kieran doesn’t like her (he does like her) and Mark doesn’t want her (not true) and she isn’t so great (I think she is so great and so do they.)

So I will say three things:

1) Kieran is not what is keeping Mark and Cristina apart, any more than Cristina is what is keeping Mark and Kieran apart. Kieran and Mark have a relationship that needs to be worked on to be healthy, and Cristina and Mark have to get to know each other better outside the magic of the binding spell. These things would be true regardless.

2) I know that this essay will garner plenty of people announcing that this means I ship Mark and Kieran or am in love with Kieran, and I know this because this happens whenever I post anything about them, or a piece of fanart of them, even if I post a piece of fanart of Cristina and Mark shortly after. I can only say what I have said for ten years, which is that I don’t ship my own characters or “love” them in the way a fan loves a character — all the characters are pieces of myself in some way or other so that’d feel very odd. I know there may be other authors who feel differently, but I can’t “ship” a couple when I’m primarily interested in their relationships in terms of theme, craft and writing the best story I can — I need the distance of being a reader, not a writer, to “ship” something. (I would also note that male authors rarely ever have people talk about how they’re in love with their characters or they write about them because it’s a “fetish” or “they get off on it”: only women get that narrative, but that’s another post.)

3) I remember reading online that writers should write with “savage empathy.” I’ve always thought that was great advice, as it reminds us to always stay in sympathy with characters and write from a place of their humanity, in all the vastness of humanity’s capability for complexity: for the same person to be capable of immense selfishness and immense nobility, or deep gentleness and great cruelty. It reminds us that we strive to reflect what is human rather than what is either entirely perfect or entirely evil. I feel like it’s also been good advice for me as a reader. It reminds me to look at things from the characters’ point of view, to not expect them to know what I know,* to remember the circumstances of their lives and the ways in which they may behave differently than I would because of the way they were raised/what their culture prioritizes. It has helped me be less judgmental of characters and while I don’t think it’s made me unaware of the problematic, I think it’s made me a happier reader. Even when I don’t forgive, I can understand, and that reminder of the eternal complexity of the human soul, and its capability for change and redemption, has enriched my reading life. It’s wonderful to realize that you can enjoy reading even more than you did before, and I can only hope for the same for all my readers.

*This is why it is pointless to be angry at the Superhero’s girlfriend when he is off saving the city, and you know he is off saving the city but she doesn’t, so she’s just angry he didn’t make it to little Marcia’s bat mitzvah.

MBTI types as people I know

MBTI types as people I know
I’ve seen this a lot around here and I thought heck why not
Written by an INFJ

ISFJ
- Best Friend
- Seriously get yourself one of these they’re THE BEST
- Super stable and don’t like drama
- You can have fun with them over really small things like sharing M&M’s on the way to school
- Can cook like heaven
- Easily offended so watch your mouth
- Will share anything with you but you have to ask first
- Mom friend

ISTJ
- Best Friend
- JUDGMENTAL AF seriously go to a random city with them and they can give an half hour roast on a stranger’s shoes
- Notice literally everything
- Likes their cats over you and will send you adorable snapchats of them
- Will argue with the teacher and ask impossible questions until they cry
- They’re aesthetically gifted
- Sometimes does things that make you go “wtf kid” but you love them anyway

INTJ
- MBTI buddy. I introduced them to it and now they finally feel like somebody understands them even if it’s just the internet
- Seriously if you know one of these TALK TO THEM AND ASK THEM QUESTIONS they’re usually quiet but if you ask they’ll like that
- Intriguing
- Emotions are not their thing so don’t be feely with them
- They can’t cry
- Will somehow get you to tell your deepest traumas at 2 am for no apparent reason
- Do not take their painful, mean, accurate comments too seriously or you’ll end up with a major inferioritycomplex

ESFP
- Highly Recommended
- You can talk to them about literally anything
- Seriously there is no private when you talk to one of these which is kinda nice because sometimes there’s shit you can’t even tell your bff and that’s when the esfp comes in handy
- Will do stupid stuff and then continue to do even more stupid stuff
- They mean well but it somehow goes wrong every time
- Drama Queen
- GOSSIP they’re not good at it but if you wanna shit talk about someone they’re yours
- You easily forget you’re angry at them
- Feed them lemonade and say it’s wine and they’ll believe you and act drunk

ESFJ
- Perfect
- Annoyingly Perfect
- They join like five giveaways a day and they actually win something
- SO DAMN LUCKY
- Confident af on the outside but secretly pretty insecure
- Friends with everybody and they genuinely like everybody
- Knows everything about everyone but you don’t know a thing about them

ENTP
- Lazy genius
- They do everything except for the things they have to do
- PUNS. MEMES. MORE PUNS.
- Has watched a lot of shows and will remember every single episode which is great because they’ll understand your references when others don’t
- They have no sense of timing
- Sometimes make harsh comments without knowing the impact on someone and then act like the others are being petty
- They mean well but they’re not very insightful
- Snapchat game is on point

ENTJ
- Supersmart and annoyed at people who are not
- Watches horror series for fun
- Probably was the kind of kid that operated on their stuffed animals with real scissors
- They have a strange liking for the dead
- They care a lot about their friendships
- They expect you to feel what they are feeling and are Highly Disappointed when you don’t
- Secretly cinnamon rolls

INFJ
- I MET ANOTHER ONE OF ME HOLY SH*T
- I had never met one of me so you can imagine my happiness
- Big Sis Friend who shares everything with you
- They know about literally everything and everyone’s secrets
- Will get you to spill your crush and darkest secrets without asking and without returning the favour
- So pair them with an INTJ and you got yourself a duo that knows it all
- So nice omg (this is where she and I are different because i’m not as nice as her)
- They care about you A LOT even when they don’t say it
- Not the best talkers but write like Shakespeare would they want to

INFP
- So innocent
- Their pure souls don’t even know what smut is and all that
- PROTECT THEM AGAINST THE CRUELNESS OF THIS WORLD
- They always have food and/or are talking about food
- Under appreciated
- Cry over every goddamn movie even Kung Fu Panda
- They will tell you when you’re being rude or when you death stare and they won’t go easy on you
- Put them together with an INTJ that results in a ten-minute lecture on being nice from the INFP it’s hilarious
- Not taken seriously but you should because they give pretty damn good life advice
- “If you ever wanna be happy in life, buy purple sunglasses”

ESTJ
- Will someday be president
- Moral knight
- Will sigh at your stupidity but help you anyways
- Not the best at communication when it comes to group projects
- You only know you love them when they’re gone because then you realize that they are the link between everyone in your friend group and without them everything falls apart
- The one I know is super innocent idk if that goes for all ESTJs
- Is willing to do A LOT for their friends
- The grumpiest grump or a super hyper and happy no inbetween

ENFP
- Way too nice
- Seriously they’re nice to everyone so I’m never sure if they genuinely like you or if they’re just being nice
- Look good in every goddamn photo even when they’re not trying
- They look like happy campers but they have secrets that they don’t wanna tell to anybody (except to the INFJ and i’m really annoyed it’s the one I know and not me)
- Did I mention they’re too nice?

INTP *the intj friend wrote this because he knows the intp better - Really likes food - The best person to have an argument with, but will at the same time try to agree with you if it means something to you - Sleeps 12 hours a day - Always late - Looks after and cares for his friends a lot although they don’t notice it - Does not like telling intimate stuff - Needs to solve the fuck out of everything - The best person to have stupid and meaningless conversations/arguments (something in between) with about the immortality of lobsters

I’m sorry to istp, estp and isfp (edit: and enfj, so sorry!) i don’t know any of them

Doomed — Min Yoongi

Words: 5390

Warnings: demon!Yoongi + angst + filthy smut + fluff

Description: Arent people supposed to be scared when they find out that a demon has been stalking them?

This amazing moodboard was created by @candys-and-moons so everyone go follow them right now!!! They’re amazing :)

[01] [02] [03] [04] [05] [06]

Let me know if I should make a part two to this :)

~

Everyone gets that feeling when they feel that someone is watching them. Monitoring everything they do. Stalking them.

That’s how you felt almost everyday. It was as if someone was actually watching you. Or spying on you.

You began to think like this since you were little. About 10 years old. Whenever you were somewhere, you felt a presence, even when you were alone. It was like someone was always there with you. It started off simple, but got worse and creepier as you grew older.

When you were 13, you couldn’t stand being home alone, because you always felt that someone was going to come for you. You would hear strange noises such as people talking when you were home alone, cabinets closing on their own, footsteps when no one else was home.

By age 15, you watched a lot of horror movies, and deemed your experiences as “being haunted.” You were sure that you were being haunted by a ghost, or something like a ghost. There were no other explanations for the things that’s been happening to you.

You told your friends and your parents, but no one believed you. Everyone thought you were either joking, or just crazy.

When you were 16, you asked your parents to get paranormal experts to come to your house and see what was going on. Your parents were reluctant at first, telling you that maybe a therapist should come to the house instead. But you kept asking them, telling them that you were so scared that something might happen to you. And then they finally called the experts.

When they came, the concluded that there was nothing paranormal going on inside of your house, giving your parents another reason not believe anything you said.

Even though the “experts” said that there was nothing, you knew there was something. You always knew that there was something going on. You weren’t crazy, no matter how much people tell you that you are.

You will never forget about when you were 18. You were almost finished with school. You remember sitting in an empty classroom one day during your free period. You studied for a huge test that you had to take.

The room was quiet at first, but then you heard a quiet tap on the window. You didn’t think much of it, thinking that it was probably just a tree branch or something.

Then it happened again. And again. And again. This continued for about two minutes before it started upsetting you. You groaned and tried to concentrate on studying. Once you groaned, the sound stopped. It was probably just a coincidence.

It didn’t stop there. You heard something fall down. It was a light sound, but you still heard it. You looked around the room to see what it was. There was a piece of chalk rolling towards you.

You raised and eyebrow. How did the chalk fall if nothing was touching it?

You stood up, picking up the piece of chalk that had fallen. You walked to the chalk board and placed the piece of chalk onto the teacher’s desk.

You turned around, dusted your hands off and started walking back to your seat.

And that’s when you heard it. The sound of the chalk falling again. You thought nothing of it. The teachers desk was probably just slanted, which is why the chalk keeps falling off. But why didn’t anything else on the desk fall off?

You turned around, bending down to pick up the chalk once again. You stood up, holding the piece of white chalk and as you looked up, you saw something strange.

The chalkboard had something written on it.

“Specto tu. Protinus te videre, XXI.”

Those words were not on the board before. How did it get there? Who wrote it? What the hell did it even say?

You thanked god for modern technology as you took out your cellphone and took a picture of the words written on the chalkboard. You put the picture into a translator website and waited for it to do its magic.

As the page loaded, you read what the words had translated to.

“I’m watching you. See you soon, 21.”

If you weren’t already creeped out before, you were ten times more creeped out now.

Without even thinking about it, you packed up your books and left the room, not looking back.

Who wrote that? Who’s watching you?

The answers to you questions went unanswered for years after that. You were always so curious.

You were 20 years old when you moved out of your parents house and into your own apartment.

The strange things never stopped. On multiple occasions when you would walk into your apartment, you would see lights that were turned on (and you were sure that you had turned them off), cabinets were open, loose papers were scattered all over your desk. You were a very clean and organized person, so you knew that it couldn’t have been you.

Getting a surveillance camera installed in your house didn’t help, as much as you really wanted it to. It just gave you more reason to believe your 15 year old self when you said that something paranormal was going on.

When you got home from work, you would check your camera, seeing if anything happened.

Of course something happened.

The cabinets opened—by themselves. The drawers in your desk opened and papers flew out of them, creating a big mess. The light switched flicked on, on their own.

You were terrified. Something was haunting you and you wanted to know why.

Today was your 21st birthday.

You spent the day shopping with your friends. You weren’t really a party girl, so you decided to do something less wild and more fun. Shopping is always fun.

“This would look really nice on you, y/n!” One of your friends smiled, giving you a cute pink dress that she had picked up.

It was cute, but it wasn’t really your style, so you put it back as you friend walked to go look at other clothes. After returning the dress to the rack that it had previously been on, you turned around, only to bump into someone.

“I’m so sorry.” You apologized. It was a man. He had jet black hair and dark brown eyes. He was quite handsome.

“Don’t be sorry. It was my fault.” He says, patting his clothes as he stood in front of you.

You two stood there, just looking at each other for a couple of seconds. He stared into your eyes. It was like he could see right through your soul. You couldn’t look away. It was like you were dazed.

“Y/n, come on. Let’s go to another shop.” Your friend calls. You blinked a few times, snapping out of your daze.

You walked away from the man, following as your friends walked out of the shop.

He seemed so familiar, but you were sure you hadn’t seen him before. You’d never seen him in real life, or even pictures, so why did he seem familiar?


You closed the door of your apartment and took your shoes off, placing them beside the door.

You and your friends had a good time out, shopping, eating and gossiping. It was like you were in high school all over again. You missed hanging out with them all the time.

You plopped down on the couch, grabbing the tv remote and pressing the button to turn it on.

You pressed the button, but nothing happened. You pressed it over and over again, but nothing. Maybe the batteries were out?

Just then, you felt something brush past your leg. Without thinking, you yelped and placed your feet on the couch, looking down at what had touched you.

It was a cat.

What was a cat doing in your apartment?

The cat looked up at you. It had black fur and brown eyes.

“What are you doing in here?” You asked the cat, as if it would talk back. You stood up, still looking down at the cat.

“I should get you out of here. Your owner is probably looking for you.” You say, putting your arms out, but then retracting them, not knowing if you should touch the cat.

Suddenly, something happened. You weren’t sure what it was exactly, but all you saw was a flash of white and then something stood in front of you. It wasn’t the cat.

It was a man.

You screamed and ran into your bedroom, scared for your life. You didn’t bother to look at the man, you were too terrified.

You closed your bedroom door as you entered, locking it.

What the hell just happened?

“Y/n.” You heard a voice say. The voice was kind of deep. You were too scared to reply. How did he even know your name?

“Y/n, I hope you know that locking the door isn’t going to stop me from coming in.” The man says.

You stayed silent. You didn’t know what to say. What were you supposed to say?

You heard no more noise on the other side of the door, but you were still scared.

Then, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You didn’t want to turn around, but your feet had it’s own plans.

You turned around, coming face to face with—

The man from earlier. The one from the shop. The one that you bumped into.

Your eyes widened.

You backed up, hoping that you could run away, but for every step you took back, he took a step towards you.

“Why are you here? Why were you a cat? How were you a cat? Who are you? What are you?” You asked. You had so many questions and they all came out at the same time.

“I’d rather not show you my actual form, for your sake. And do you know how much strength it takes to shift into a cat? You should be praising me. I’m so tired right now.” The man complained.

What was his “actual form”?

“What are you?” You repeated your question.

“A demon.” He said. “Yeah, right.” You say, not believing him. The man chuckled before closing his eyes. What was he doing?

As he opened his eyes, his dark brown eye color was no longer there. Now his pupils were a fiery red color.

You yelled and tried to run away, but he held your arms, not letting you move.

“Let go of me!” You yelled.

“Y/n, calm down.” He says, his eyes going back to their original color. “How am I supposed to calm down? You—you just—I can't—” you stuttered, not knowing what to say.

He stared into your eyes and you felt yourself calming down. It was like he casted a spell on you or something.

“Did you just cast a spell on me? Are you a witch too?” You ask, not able to take your eyes off of his.

He chuckled. “I’m not a witch. I’m a demon. A handsome one.”

You wish you could roll your eyes at his comment. “Who are you?” You ask. “And why do you seem so familiar? I’m almost one-hundred percent sure that we’ve never met.”

“Y/n, I’ve been with you since you were young. Don’t you remember me? Haven’t you got my little notes and messages?” He asks you.

“What messages?”

“Specto tu. Protinus te videre, XXI.” He spoke.

Your eyes widened. That’s what was written on the chalkboard that day you were in school! “You wrote that? How? Why? Why couldn’t I see you?”

“Being a demon surprisingly has its many perks. One of them being invisibility. And it was a reminder. Didn’t you translate it?” He asked you.

“It said I’m watching you. And see you soon. Then it said twenty one.” You say.

“I was watching you. I’ve always been watching you. And it was a reminder because I’d see you on your twenty-first birthday, which is today.” He explains, letting go of your hands. “Happy Birthday, by the way.”

It was him. He was the thing that was always with you. The thing that creeped you out. The thing that you always knew was watching you.

You brought your hand up to his face and slapped him, anger filling you.

His eyes widened and he held his cheek in pain. “What was that for?” He asks.

“You! You’re the reason that I spent almost eleven years of my life scared to death! I was always so scared, and it was because of you! You messed me up, man.” You explained.

“I’m sorry?” He said, but it sounded more like a question.

You slapped him again.

“What was that one for?” He asks.

“That’s for messing up my house when I’m not home. You always leave my lights on. And you leave my cabinets open. And all of my papers are always all over my desk.” You say.

“I’m sorry. I get bored sometimes when you’re not home.” He admits.

“Who are you?” You ask.

“I’m Yoongi. Min Yoongi. You’re y/n y/l/n.” He finally introduces himself.

“Well, Min Yoongi. You’ve been stalking me for eleven years, why?” You question.

People supposed to be scared when they find out that a demon has been stalking them for so long, so, why didn’t you feel scared?

“You’re interesting.” He says, simply.

You rolled your eyes, finally out of his spell, or whatever it was.

After a moment of silence, Yoongi spoke up. “I’m not here to hurt you, so if you’re scared of me, you don’t have to be. Although, I’m not getting any scared vibes from you. You’re not scared of me?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I am. I just think that I was more scared when I didn’t know who or what you were.” You admit.

“Really? Then maybe I should erase your memory.” He smirked.

“No. No way.” You say. “I was joking.” He chuckled. “Or was I?”

“Min Yoongi I swear to—” you started. “Don’t say it.” He warns you, eyes turning red.

“Sorry. Sorry.” You apologized, looking down at the floor so you wouldn’t have to look into his eyes.

Yoongi took a deep breath before speaking again. “You should go to bed. It’s late.”

“It’s 6 pm.” You tell him.

“So? It’s never too early to go to sleep.”

You shook your head before opening your bedroom door and walking out into your living room.

“What are you still doing here? Leave!” You hear Yoongi say. He wasn’t talking to you, so who was he talking to?

You turned around to look at him, but he was facing the kitchen. In the kitchen stood another man. He looked the same age as Yoongi, maybe younger. He had orangish/reddish hair. You noticed something. In front of him, on the counter was a cake. That wasn’t there before.

“Who is this?” You asked.

“I’m Hoseok.” The boy with the orange hair smiled at you, walking over to where you and Yoongi were standing. “I’m Yoongi’s friend.”

“Hi.” You said before looking at Yoongi. “So what? Is my house like a demon magnet now?”

“Hoseok, get out.” Yoongi said, not answering your question.

Hoseok sighed and looked at you. “It was nice to meet you. Bye.” He smiled before you saw a flash of white. He was gone.

You looked over to where the cake was. Yoongi saw where you were looking and spoke. “It’s yours.” He says.

“Is it?” You asked, walking over to the cake.

“I told Hoseok to bring it for you. It looks good, right?” He asks.

You saw what was written on the cake and smiled.

“Happy Birthday, y/n.”

“As long as you share it with me, I promise I won’t trash your house anymore.” He smiled.

Despite being a demon, Yoongi was a nice guy. Maybe you wouldn’t mind having him around.


“We need to have another girl’s day out.” Your friend says. She was sitting beside you on the couch in your apartment.

“Yeah. I want to hang out with you and the rest of the girls more.” You tell her.

“We should go to a club or something.” She suggested.

A club? “I don’t think so.” You say. You weren’t really a fan of going to the club. The club is just a place where random guys try to hit on you all night, and you didn’t want to go through that.

“Oh, come on, y/n. Don’t be such a party pooper. We could go out to the club and have fun. You could meet a guy there!” She persisted.

“Why would I want to meet a guy there?” You asked.

“Y/n, you haven’t gotten laid in like a year. You need to meet a guy so you two can hook up! You really need some d—” Your friend explained, but was cut off by someone else talking over her.

“What’s this talk about y/n needing to meet a guy?” The person asked. You recognized the voice and turned around to see Yoongi.

“Y/n, who is this?” Your friend asks.

“This is—” You started. “I’m Yoongi. Y/n’s boyfriend.” Yoongi finished for you.

Your boyfriend? Since when?

“Y/n! How could you not tell me that you have a boyfriend?” Your friend questions.

“I’m sorry, y/f/n.” You looked at your friend. “I wasn’t planned on letting you meet him. He promised me that he would stay in my bedroom while you came over.” You looked back at Yoongi.

“Sorry. I got bored in there.” He shrugs. “Y/f/n, would you mind coming back another time? I need to speak to y/n about something.”

“No problem. I’ll be on my way.” Y/f/n says, before getting up and walking to the door. She winked at you before leaving and closing the door behind her.

You turned around, only to see that Yoongi was closer to you than he was before. “You’re my boyfriend?” You asked. “Since when?”

“Since now.” He states. “Is it true?” He asked, not giving you time to respond to his statement.

“Is what true?”

“She said you haven’t been laid in a year. Is that true?”

“Does that matter to you?” You ask, raising your eyebrow. Why did he want to know?

“Just tell me.”

“What if it is true? Why do you need to know?”

Yoongi took two slow steps towards you so he was now standing on front of you with barely any space between you.

Would it be wrong to say he looked really hot right now?

While living with Yoongi, you can’t help but look at him sometimes. Like the times you two are just talking to each other and he smiles. You like his smile. A lot.

And the times he would come out of the bathroom only wearing boxers. His hair would be wet and he looks so good. You didn’t know if it was okay for you to think about him this way.

“You seriously went that long without getting laid? You went that long without letting someone touch you? Pleasure you?” He asks. As he spoke, you felt his warm breath on your lips. “It’s been about three months since I revealed myself to you. We spend like all day together, so why haven’t you told me?”

“Can we not talk about this? It’s embarrassing.” You say, turning around so you could walk away. When you turned around, Yoongi grabbed one of your arms and turned you back to face him.

“Yoongi, I—” You started, but Yoongi looked into your eyes and suddenly you couldn’t say anything. He was controlling you.

For about thirty seconds, he just stared into your eyes, and you were unable to say or do anything else.

Yoongi put his fingers on your chin and lifted your head up. He almost instantly lowered his head and attached his lips to your neck.

His actions made your eyes widen. “Y-Yoongi.” You stuttered, finally able to speak again.

He hummed in response and started kissing and sucking on your neck. It felt unbelievably good.

“Yoongi. Yoongi, wait.” You spoke, putting your hands on his shoulders and pushing him away. He looked at you and raised an eyebrow. “Why are you doing this?” You asked him.

“You don’t want me to do it?” He asks. “I-I didn’t say that. I just—” You started. “Then shut up and let me do what I need to do.” He speaks over you, pressing his lips against yours after he finished talking.

His lips felt so good against yours. You didn’t realize how much you liked his lips until this moment.

Yoongi held your waist with one hand, pulling you against him. You used one hand to run fingers through his hair and the other hand was still rested on his shoulder.

His tongue entered your mouth, exploring it and even meeting with your tongue.

You lightly tugged on his hair, causing him to groan into your mouth. Hearing him groan sent waves of pleasure down your body. You wanted more.

Yoongi pulled away from you, removing your shirt and his shirt before placing his lips back on yours.

You placed one of your hands on his neck, slowly trailing down to his chest, and then to the bulge that was evident in his pants.

You palmed him through the black sweatpants he wore and once again, he groaned into your mouth.

Yoongi placed his hand at the hem of your pants and pushed them down. You stopped out of them, now only left in your bra and underwear.

You pushed Yoongi’s sweatpants and boxers down and he stepped out of them before breaking away from you and sitting down on the couch.

“On your knees, baby girl.” He says to you. You did as told and got on your knees, coming face to face with his length. Yoongi leaned forward and removed your bra before speaking. “Be a good girl and suck.”

You nodded before putting one of your hands on his length, stroking it a couple of times before putting your lips around the tip. You decide to tease him by licking and sucking the tip, and only the tip.

“If you keep teasing me like that, you’re gonna be in big trouble, y/n.” Yoongi speaks in a stern voice. Trying to push his buttons, you continued to do what you were doing.

Yoongi got fed up and placed his hand on the back of your head. “It seems like you want trouble.” He says before pushing your head down onto his length. You took more of him in your mouth. He began thrusting his hips into your mouth, making you take in all of it.

The back of you throat stung, but you loved every second of it. “You love it when I do this, don’t you, y/n?” Yoongi asked, as if you could answer.

Suddenly, he pulled you off of him, standing up and picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you wouldn’t fall.

He walked to your bedroom, and while he walked, you felt his length brush against your core, which was still covered by your underwear. You sucked in a breath at the contact, causing Yoongi to laugh.

When he got you your room, Yoongi rested you on the bed, wasting no time before getting on top of you and attacking your lips with his.

Yoongi used this position as an advantage to grind down onto your clothed core, causing you to moan inside of his mouth. He chuckled before removing his lips from yours and putting them on one of your breasts. He used one of his hands to touch the breast that his lips weren’t on. He alternated between both breasts. You loved the feeling he was giving you.

Yoongi looked up at you, pressing his lips to yours as he slid your underwear off, both of you were both completely naked now.

“I’ve wanted to do this to you for so long, baby.” Yoongi admits before running his fingers up and down your folds. “You’re so wet for me. I love it, babe.”

You moaned as he stuck two fingers into you, not giving you time to adjust to them. Since you were so wet, his fingers glided in and out easily. He curled his fingers inside of you, touching the special spot that make you gasp.

“Yoongi.” You moaned. “What is it, baby girl?” He asks.

You just wanted him inside of you already.

You moaned again and since you didn’t answer his question, Yoongi spoke again. “Use your words, baby. Unless you’re not going to get what you want.” He smirked.

“You’re such a tease.” You say as his fingers kept going in and out of you. “I’m just getting started.” He says, pressing his fingers against your spot.

“Yoongi! Fuck!” You yelled, shutting your eyes tightly. “What do you want, baby girl?” He asks.

“I want you, inside of me.” You said. “I am inside of you.” He said.

“No. I want your cock inside of me. Right now, Yoongi.” You finally say. “You want my cock? Beg for it, baby.” He responds.

“Please, Yoongi.  I can’t wait anymore. I need to fuck me right now. I’m so wet for you. Please.” You begged. “Well, since you asked so nicely.” He smiled, taking his fingers out of you.

He kissed your lips before aligning his length with your entrance. He gave you no time to prepare, or get used to it as he slid inside of you and began to thrust in and out of you at a fast pace.

He used one hand to prop himself up and placed the other hand on your thigh, gripping it as he easily pushed and pulled himself in and out of you.

He angled his hips a certain way and his length repeatedly pressed against your special spot as he went inside of you. “Oh my—yoongi!” You yelled, enjoying the pleasure that was being given to you.

“You like that? You like when I fuck you like this, y/n?” He asks before placing his lips on your neck.

He continued to thrust in and out of you at a fast pace. You were basically shaking from pleasure underneath him.

“Yoongi, I’m so close.” You informed him, feeling your orgasm reach closer and closer.

“I’m not letting you cum that easily. Beg me if you want to cum.” He tells you, looking at you.

You shook your head, teasing him.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, shocked that you refused to obey him in a situation like this.

“Beg me.” He repeats himself.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip, holding back any sounds that would come from your mouth.

Yoongi suddenly pulled himself out of you completely before turning you so that you were laying with your stomach against the bed.

“On your hands and knees.” He instructs. You listened and did as told, having your ass on full display for him.

“I can’t believe you were being such a bad girl just then.” Yoongi says, rubbing both of your ass cheeks with his hands. “Do you know what bad girls get?” He asks.

You shook your head. “Bad girls get punished.” He tells you, just as you felt a sharp pain on your butt cheek.

“Never.” *spank* “Disobey.” *spank* “Me.” *spank* “Again.” *spank*

He spanked you a couple more times and surprisingly, the pain felt good to you. You loved it.

You laid there, taking the hits. A few tears escaped your eyes, but it didn’t matter to you. You loved everything that was happening.

When Yoongi was finished, he caressed your cheeks, running his hands over all the spots he hit.

He flipped you back around without warning, almost immediately slamming his length back into you, causing you to scream out his name.

“I know you want to cum, so you better beg me.” He said into your ear. It sounded more like a growl, which turned you on even more. Your orgasm was so close.

“Please let me cum, Yoongi. It’s so close. You make me feel so good, baby. I need you to let me cum.” You begged, tired of waiting.

Yoongi smirked pressed a quick kiss against your lips before looking at you.

“You can cum, princess. Cum all over me, baby.” He spoke while thrusting in and out of you, again at a fast pace. “Just make sure you look at me while you cum, okay? Keep your eyes open for me, baby.”

You moaned, feeling your orgasm come closer and closer until you felt the tight knot in your stomach finally unravel. Your orgasm washed over you, taking you into a state of pure bliss.

You looked into Yoongi’s eyes as you came, obeying what he said before. You had the urge to close your eyes, but Yoongi stared into yours, not letting you close them.

“Fuck, Yoongi.” You breathed. “I’m close, y/n.” Yoongi tells you as he continued thrusting.

You began to tremble from overstimulation, but you loved every second of it.

Yoongi let out a string of curse words as you finally felt him release inside of you. His warm liquid filled you up.

He thrusted slowly, a few more times before pulling out of you and laying down beside you.

The room was filled with nothing more than the sound of the two of you trying to catch your breaths.

“That was amazing.” You admit, turning your head to look at the man beside you. As you looked at him, you saw that he was already looking at you.

“You can say that again.” He smiles at you.

“That was amaz—” You started again. “Don’t actually say it again.” Yoongi says, playfully rolling his eyes.

You giggled as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. You rested your head on his chest.

“Yoongi,” you started, looking up at him. “Yes, baby girl?” He asked.

“I know you’re a demon and everything, but can demons have relationships? Or is that like, against the demon code or something?” You asked him.

“You want a relationship?” He asked you. “Do you?” You ask.

Yoongi nodded and you smiled. “Then yes.” You spoke, biting your lip.

“Y/n, do you want to be my girlfriend?” He asks.

“Yes.” You nodded and Yoongi smiled at you.

Without telling you what he was doing, Yoongi brought one of his wrists up to his mouth and bit down, hard.

You raised an eyebrow, confused, but deciding not to ask any questions yet.

When he pulled away from his wrist, you saw the blood leaking from his arm.

He placed his bleeding wrist in front of your mouth. “Drink.” He instructs.

“Okay, you’ve asked me to do a lot of stuff today. This is the weirdest one.” You admit.

“Just do it. If you don’t hurry up, blood is going to get all over your sheets and I’m not washing them.” He tells you.

You rolled your eyes before opening your mouth. Yoongi pushed his wrist to your mouth and you licked the blood off of it, swallowing it.

When he pulled his wrist away, it wasn’t bleeding anymore. He smiled and looked at you, putting his index finger and thumb on your chin. He brought your mouth up to his and kissed you.

“So what am I now?” You asked as you pulled away from his lips. “Am I demon now? Or am I a vampire or something? I think I saw something like this on the Vampire Diaries one time.” You tell him.

“You’re still human.” Yoongi chuckled.

“What?” You ask. “So I drank your blood for no reason?” You pouted.

“It was for a reason. Your mine now, and if anything or anyone who’s supernatural gets close to you, they’ll know that you’re mine.” He explains.

“So you marked me?” You asked and he nodded.

“This is cool. Who would’ve thought that the thing that was haunting me for eleven years was actually a really cute demon who I like very much.” You say.

Yoongi playfully rolled his eyes.

“Go to sleep, loser.”

Keep Your Mind at Peace & Your Body a Beast

Originally posted by pole-ambition

Being active has nothing but positive results, and I have a couple ideas for my witchy friends that may work out for you! Of all people, witches know that everything is connected, so keeping out body happy keeps our mind happy - which means better results for spells too! 

Before The Workout

  • Drink some green or black tea! A little bit of caffeine before a workout is actually good - it gives you a little boost. Most pre-workouts have caffeine too, just be sure to keep it in moderation. 
  • Enchant that water! I always toss some mint leaves and cut up strawberries in my water bottle. You can also use any kind of citrus, or even make some green iced tea to use as your first bottle hitting the gym or studio.
  • Glamours to look as badass as you’ll feel. Sigils in your pocket or shoes, or even enchanting your perfume or deodorant. I know it sounds silly but I can promise you that boost of confidence goes a long way when you’re pushing yourself, and you can look in the mirror and think, “I’m a badass witch.”
  • Ready that playlist. Music is everything for getting pumped, whether it’s working out or spell casting! 
  • Don’t eat something too heavy. Save that reward for after the battle! Then you can ask your local kitchen witch for a hardy recipe!

Witchy Workouts

There are so many kinds of ways to keep your body active, and not all of them are picking heavy things up and putting them back down.

  • Yoga. If you haven’t tried yoga yet I highly recommend this - especially for witches. It’s all about quieting the mind, becoming in touch with your body and the energy around you, strengthening, balancing, and centering yourself. It’s meditation, stretching and a workout all in one; how can you get better than this?!
  • Pole Dancing.  You’re a witch aren’t you? So why don’t you try flying? I’m bias, I’ll admit it - but I teach pole fitness for a reason! There so so many benefits to pole. Confidence, it builds so much confidence. This is an amazing way to enhance your feminine energy, and if you work with any deities that are mainly with feminine power, dancing is a wonderful offering. It doesn’t have to be sexual, it can be sad, creepy, powerful, funny, hiphop or ballet mix, or contemporary! This builds your strength & flexibility and it doesn’t feel like work! It’s all play until before you know it your on the floor sweating and feeling like the sexiest/most graceful/beautiful person ever. Everyone is always supportive, there’s always body love and I’ve had students who are male, female, trans - there’s even a 54 year old man who loves wearing heels & his wife adores it(@manwhopoledances on instagram) and one of the ladies I used to dance with in Colorado named Patty - a 60 year old woman who looks damn good for her age and is so kind and strong! (Any questions feel free to message me!)
  • Aerial Silks. Another way to soar in the sky! This one I find isn’t as ‘dancy’ as pole but you can make it whatever you like. This one is a lot about holding poses and engaging your muscles for periods of time to do so, so it’s kind of aerial yoga but sometimes you spin. This art is graceful, beautiful and can be very dramatic and lovely!
  • Lyra. Another aerial art - what can I say? I think you should fly if your a witch! Hehe. This one is involving a hoop that is suspended in the air. It’s a great workout for sure, and the poses look so beautiful and magical once you get them. Check out @ladyinlaluna on instagram for an understanding of Lyra. Plus her hoop is a crescent moon and what’s more witchy than that?
  • Hula Hoop. This one is a much gentler way to get yourself moving if you’re not looking to get ripped. It’s great for flow, movement, those who like to dance in their kitchen and move freely. It’s a beautiful and hypnotic dance, and I love watching theses artists move. All you need is a hula hoop to start and you can get yourself moving and feeling happy! @danatheleo & @bunnknees are great artists to check out for inspiration. 

Not So Witchy(but great workouts)

  • Boxing. I did kickboxing for a while and let me tell you it is a rush. It’s so fun, the gyms and classes I went to were supportive and kind no matter what level you were on. Plus, a little self-defense was never a bad thing! 
  • Sport Teams. Whether you’re in school or have a community team, try out! Or if that’s too much, get some friends together to play a friendly game of ice hockey at your local rec center, or swim teams, kickball, baseball, or football! 
  • Free running. I haven’t tried this yet but I would love to! Running around, building strength to scale structures and building speed and endurance. I’d say you’d be a survivor in the zombie apocalypse for sure - or at least undefeated winner in a game of Groundies. 
  • Bouldering. This might be harder to access depending on where you live, but this is basically an indoor rock climbing gym. There are some places you are able to free climb, and some places there are colors coordinated to difficulty level. Both are fun, and bringing your family or friends is awesome too. 
  • Surfing. Obviously, if your land locked this might be harder to do. But if you’re close to the beach and have the desire, why not take a class or two, try it out and see how you like it! 

Not About That Commitment 

  • Swimming. What better way to be a sea witch even if your land locked? Especially for the summer! Local beaches, lakes, rivers(if swimming is legal), are all wonderful, or even if you can wear yourself out at a waterpark or local pool.
  • Hiking. Back home I was spoiled with the Rocky Mountains and my easy access to it for beautiful hikes. It’s a wonderful way to connect with the Earth. Get to know the local wildlife! Hikes can very from difficulty. Make sure to pack a few snacks, a lot of water, and a few safety items(whistle, mirror, & bear spray) just incase something takes a wrong turn! Nature can be very unpredictable.
  • Taking walks. It can be as simple as walking your companion around a few blocks or to the park. You still get to meditate a little and get yourself moving a little for the day. 
  • Park day! Bring a ball and some frisbees! Some snacks and water, and maybe some jump ropes or hula-hoops! 

These are the best I could come up with on the top of my head, but please do let me know if I should add anything or if you have any questions. I hope this was helpful for you guys! 

iwasapruneratfaverolles  asked:

Wait what's the story about half the boys in your grade getting your class kicked out of Disney world?

Okay, if anyone is going to read this story, you are legally required to listen to the song “Turbulence” first. Nothing will truly make sense without it. You sit your ass through the entire damn song, if you try to skimp out on it the Elder’s will find you. It’s completely vital to the full experience of this stupid ass story. This ENTIRE story exasperates me

Now, okay, so my high school senior class….was relatively a group of good kids. It was a larger grade then I was used to growing up, so I obviously didn’t know everyone in the school personally, but I could pretty much recognize everyone in my grade, and like okay, there were a lot of class clowns and trouble makers™, but for the most part, no one was really a dick and everyone was generally a Decent Person.

Then, for some ungodly reason, the song ‘turbulence’ gets released. 

Now, I think the song actually came out in like, 2011 or something, but it caused Notable Problems with my grade in particular. It was deemed our ‘CLASS SONG’, and every time it played at an event or someone just played it for fun on their phone or something, every single kid in my age group just unexplainably went crazy. You never really knew what was going to happen, and it got worse each and every year- making senior year the year of Worried Faculty, and not without reason. 

Senior Year alone, before this Disney incident happened, the song ‘turbulence’ lead directly to the slightly-violent concussion of an unwillingly crowd surfing teacher and a few freshmen at homecoming, and it was also being blasted on a blue tooth speaker when a couple of boys in my class Lowkey Very Politely High-Jacked The Plane We Were On, so, when we got to Disney World, the chaperones made sure to contact whoever was in charge of our party and told them under no circumstances was this song to be played.

Anyway.

So the school does a Disney trip for the seniors every year- they stay in a cheap hotel and shove four or five withering and hormonal teens in a room, they go to the parks during the day, one night they walk through Universal and see the Blue Man Group in concert, and one night they usually have a big dinner and dance party for the kids, usually held in Sea World. 

But, you know what came out when they were planning the Disney trip? Blackfish. So, the school board (and a lot of the students) were like “UMM-” and that left them scrambling to find a new location for the party. 

The Disney workers, being Disney workers, were super helpful when the school mentioned this issue when they called to make reservations, though. They were like, “Oh, this is great timing! Your school always brings such well-behaved kids every year, and we’ve been thinking about opening up our Fantasia Gardens golf course as a party location! You guys could be our first official party!” and the school was super flattered so they agreed. Disney was providing a dance floor, food, a DJ, and everything else, and it wasn’t going to really cost anything extra, so the faculty was like, Super Excited about it. They thought this was gonna be a great thing, they were the experiment to see if they would try this with other schools, it was an honor, and it meant that they had a great reputation in Disney’s opinion, so maybe they’d be open to providing the school with free/new stuff/opportunities in future years.

Now, let me tell you something- I was Kinda Fucking Miserable for most of this trip. The first day was fine, but the second day saw my friends abandoning me in Magic Kingdom with barely any explanation, so I spent all day roaming MK and Epicot alone, save for occasionally standing next to acquaintances and talking to my different-school friends in a group chat on my phone, and then later that night my friend since third grade like, got a school official and cried to her about how I had instigated a fight and that’s why I was alone all day, which is literally such bullshit and not what happened, it‘s been 3 years and I still cannot believe she actually pulled this fuckery, so even though we made up later in the week I was still pissed the fuck off for the rest of my life the trip. All of my roommates (the deserters) were walking on eggshells around me, except this one control-freak girl who tried to micromanage everything I did (even though literally none of it affected her)  and none of us realized how pissed off I was until I apparently physically threw her out of the bed while I was in a deep sleep, multiple times, and also stole her pillow. So the only person who I wasn’t Fully Done with was this tiny girl from a writing class, but she was potentially Half-Hamster, exclusively wore clothes made for seven year olds, couldn’t go on half of the rides because of her glass eye, and 99% of her conversation points was talking about all the plans she had to hang out with one of the other girls I was rooming with (who didn’t actually wanna hang out with her/got mad at me the third day there because the boy she liked was flirting with me), so like…she was sweet but I also wanna go on rides and not hear how great the girls I’m lowkey in a Blood Feud with are, you know? She wasn’t exactly prime hang out material here. So by the time we get to this party at Fantasia Gardens, we’re all lowkey pretending like everything’s fine but like. It wasn’t hard to tell there was fighting going on. And you could just look at all the other students around you and see there was also fighting going on. Shoving so many kids in hot rooms is never a good idea, like YIKE. 

Anyway, I needed something at this party to be fun. I needed to be released at this point. 

I walk into the place and immediately realize I’m a fucking outlier amongst the girls- every single girl had opted for a sundress, whilst I thought a black skirt and a nice blouse would be enough. This should not have been a problem, but hey. High School. What can ya do. (it just made me more stressed) At this point I was like, this is it, this is it, I hate literally everyone in my high school. There’s nothing holding me back. Graduation take me the fuck away. But I had to make it through this party and then one more day in Disney. 

The room was like, a barn, kind off? Or at the very least it had been decorated like one. There was barbecue food, a dance floor, a lake outside, and a mini-golf course that we were told we were allowed to use at any part of the night. The DJ was playing relatively normal dance/club music. After about an hour of strobe lights and watching people dancing, My Friend Who Hath Betrayed Me and I decided to head down to the mini-golf course. 

There were these two guys there, and I didn’t really know them but they were clearly those ‘All Our Classmates Are Beneath Us Because We’re Alternative And Like Anime And Heavy Metal Music’ types of guys. They took one look at my ass in a tight black mini-skirt and immediately started flirting with me, and on any other occasion I would have shot them down, but 1) They were both actively focused on me over my friend, who I was still mad at and 2) I was frustrated - so I started flirting back even though I wasn’t interested in the slightest (and I had petty reasoning, of course, but I was 18, it was a bad week, it was 100 degrees, give me a break. I promise 99% of the time I’m not Awful). So anyway, we get caught up in a game of mini-golf with these anti-establishment boys, who spend the entire time dissing our classmates for, like, dancing, and looking for excuses to show off in front of me/touch me. We missed like half the dance because of this. 

Right when we were finishing our game, we were contemplating going to the other golf course (I was looking for an excuse to head back to the party tbh we were literally the only four people outside it was starting to feel like the set up to a horror movie) when a girl came up and told us to head back in because the boys™ had busted out the alcohol and we only had a limited amount of time before the chaperones noticed. 

(They sold alcohol at our hotel, a bunch of people had fake id’s made before the trip for this very reason). Me and my friend didn’t actually feel like drinking but we took the excuse and the boys followed us back inside (we lost them on the dance floor and I only saw them once again that night). Anyway, we arrived to what we thought was Chaos, but was truly only the Beginning of Chaos

Right off the bat, I noticed the boys from my Gov class and the boys I knew from detention were huddled around each other, muttering under the music. That, I knew, was not gonna lead to anything good. They see me, and they’re like “Javert! Javert people trust you! Go request that the DJ play turbulence!” and I’m like. No. What are you fucking planning??? But they just keep pressing me. They would not drop it oh my God. One of my roommates overhears this, the one who’s mad at me because her crush she never talks to was slightly flirting with me earlier, and she’s in a petty™ mood so she asks why they want it to play but they still won’t tell her, just keep insisting that it has to happening. So she’s all, ‘I can get it to play’ and struts off to the DJ booth with an exaggerated ponytail snap. I’m left with these boys like. For fucks sake please don’t get anyone killed. 

A few boys break off to go tap people and let them know what’s going on. The smell of alcohol is strong. Boys are starting to discreetly take off their shoes and any valuables and hide them under the tables. The chaperones aren‘t noticing any of this. 

I broke away from the dance floor to get a soda, and one of the teachers sees me looking mildly distressed and asks if something’s wrong. And I know. I know that I have the power to kill whatever the hell is about to happen. I’m the sole person in this room that’s clued in who’s not whispering in excitement and waiting for the song to play. I still don’t even know what they’re all planning on doing, but I could end this so fast, just say the words ‘turbulence’ or ‘the boys’ or ‘senior prank’, and this would be nipped in the bud immediately. This could be over before it ever started, all because of me.

And then I reflect on how shitty my weeks been going, how I was frustrated with most of the people in the room, how I needed something fun to happen at this party to release me from hell. 

I tell the chaperone I’m fine, just getting a little tired, and they drop it and head back to the buffet line. 

I head back to the dance floor. Everyone is grinding with baited breath. 

The DJ’s voice comes over the microphone: “I hear it’s someone’s birthday tomorrow! Let’s play her favorite song!”

Turbulence begins to play.

The class goes wild, wilder than they’ve ever been before. The building may as well be shaking from all the noise and music. 

The teachers are trying to get the DJ’s attention to cut the song. He can’t hear them. 

The bass drops

Almost every boy on the dance floor screams, runs outside, rips off their shirts and jumps into the fucking lake

It was absolute PANDEMONIUM. This wasn’t even the funniest thing they could have come up with but everyone left on the dance floor was loosing their minds cracking up. The teachers and Disney workers were screaming at the top of their lungs and trying to haul boys back onto the land. 

Then the manager of Fantasia Gardens starts screaming that there are alligators in the fucking lake

Like. FUCKING. IT’S FLORIDA. HOW DID NO ONE THINK THERE WAS GONNA BE AN ALLIGATOR PROBLEM. F L O R I D A. 

THESE DUMBASS BOYS JUMPED INTO A FUCKING ALLIGATOR INFESTED LAKE.

A L L I G A T O R S. 

FUCK.

All the boys eventually make it back onto land- no one had been bitten or killed or anything, although a few apparently did see ‘shapes moving’ (it was late at night, so nothing clear), and one kid got kicked in the head and knocked out for a few moments and almost drowned, but everyone was intact. 

DISNEY WORLD WAS FURIOUS

And like, you can’t fucking blame them. I’m sure when they were making the principal sign liability papers, they didn’t think to include ‘late night gator attacks in a lake’ on the list, they could’ve been put in serious trouble if something had happened omfg. But there was a LOT of yelling/ranting/cursing. NEVER before have they seen such inappropriate behavior, the school would not be allowed to step foot in the Fantasia Gardens EVER again, yadayada, that sort of thing. The more boys I found soaking wet, the more ridiculous this got- I knew which of them had planned it of course, but this was most of the grade. There were like, geeks and nerds and Good Kids™ who I never expected to do something like wild like this standing around half naked looking torn between proud and about-to-cry omfg.

Every single boy who participated got suspended for three days, but they had to space out which boys were suspended which days because they didn’t trust them to not throw a giant party on the days they weren’t there. 

The school is still allowed in Disney World every year, but are banned from Fantasia Gardens and received a fine. 

Turbulence’ was absolutely banned from being played at senior prom. 

SKAM S04E10 Clip 3 - Jonas

JONAS: Once, he forgot to bring his bike so I had to..

EMMA: You had to..?

JONAS: I had to take..

EMMA: You had to take his bike?

JONAS: But I’ll text you.

EMMA: Yeah. We will.

JONAS: Yeah.

EMMA: Where are you going?

JONAS: To the A-building.

EMMA: Okay.

JONAS: And you?

EMMA: To the B-building.

Keep reading

inevitable realizations ☼ peter parker

summary : peter’s always been a little bit in love with you, it just took a difficult night and warm, ever comforting words for him to come to the realization. intelligent he may be, but he’s a clueless teenage boy before anything else.

word count : 2.5k

   It was eleven o’clock at night and, as per usual, you were neglecting the sleep you desperately needed in order to finish up the notes on your assigned reading novel that were due in just a few short hours. You were never one to finish tasks, especially menial ones such as homework, in a timely fashion. This was just the tip of the iceberg. You briefly took off your glasses, rubbing your tired eyes that were now struggling to focus on the words in front of you properly. When you slipped them back over your nose, glancing up toward your bedroom window that lead out to the fire escape, you saw the familiar face of your best friend peering in through the glass in a way that was only slightly creepy. 

   Peter knocked rapidly on the glass, waving at you in the typical, hyperactive way that he always had about him. You jumped off your bed, reaching out to shut your bedroom door before walking over to the bay window and unlocking it. A rush of cold winter air nipped at your face the minute it swung open and Peter Parker shoved himself through. Visits from him in this particular manner were common, especially after a day’s work of fighting crime throughout various parts of New York, but not usually this late- and never without a text to alert you first.  

    “You must be freezing,” you shivered, closing the window quickly. “How long were you out there?” Making yourself comfortable on your bed once again, you propped open your book, ready to force him into helping you study. He didn’t answer. Instead, he drew his sweatshirt closer to his body, sliding to the floor beside your bed and leaning his head against the soft duvet. His curls were sticking up in every direction when he pulled his hood away, his cheeks and the tip of his nose a brilliant shade of red, but not from the bitter chill that was sweeping mercilessly over Queens. 

   You heard a distinct sniff, then another, then another. His breathing, already shallow from the frantic climbing he had done to reach your fire escape, became even more labored. He pulled his knees to his chest to hide his face. He felt you press yourself against him, your arms around his shoulders and across his chest before he could pull away in embarrassment. Your glasses creaked when they pushed too far into his shoulder. Neither of you moved. You clung to him and he sat there, silently shaking and leaning into your embrace as if it were the only thing keeping him from falling apart. 

   “Hey, hey, shh, shh, Peter, you’re okay,” you whispered, rubbing his back. “I’ve got you, I promise. You’ve gotta breathe, though, okay?” He was always ashamed of his sensitivity, but he couldn’t help it. He was a sensitive boy and he cried easily and had an awful lot of anxiety sometimes. Today was one of those days, with good reason. He nodded stiffly, maneuvering himself to hug you back, face pressed into your shoulder this time. 

   “It’s… the anniversary,” he said, his voice broken. “One year.” Hollow. “One year since- since Ben. One year tomorrow.” 

   He pulled away, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his oversized sweatshirt. There were traces of tears still making their way down his cheeks, sliding across his nose and down to his lips. He tried to rub them away, too, but you caught his wrist in your hand. 

   “You’re not wrong or less of a dude for crying, Peter.” The way you looked at him, so lovely and caring and worried, made his heart cry out for the safety of your embrace again. “Were you at the cemetery?” You matched his stance and rested the side of your cheek on your knee, still carefully studying his face. 

   “Yeah,” he exhaled, placing his chin in his palm. “I’m gonna go again in the morning with May. Gonna miss school. I- I probably should’ve, um, stayed with her tonight but I…” he trailed off, “I needed you.” He said it as he said most things to you, with his soft tone of voice and his hesitance that made him, him. He never really noticed until now. 

   “What are best friends for, right?”  

    “Yeah. Best friends.” 

    Ignoring the odd way those two words slipped out of his mouth, you said, “I’m sorry, Peter. I know you loved Uncle Ben so much. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this. You and May don’t deserve this.” You reached out to him, your hand gripping his without an ounce of doubt. You had small hands and he didn’t but he felt a thousand times better when yours found his. “I’m always here for you. Do you wanna talk about it?” 

   Surprisingly, he shook his head adamantly. “No, no.” He squeezed your hand. “I kind of, um, just wanna go to bed. Crying like a little baby really tires a guy out, you know?” He gave a weak laugh, a tiny grin, and you smiled right back at him before pulling him to his feet. “Can I use the bathroom?” He needed to wash the sticky feeling of dry tears off his face, rub the sadness out of his eyes. He wanted to be strong for May when he got back in the morning. 

   “Of course, just be quiet. Mom and dad are asleep.” You padded across your rug and opened your door a crack, holding it in a specific way so that it wouldn’t creak when you let Peter through. He gave you a grateful squeeze of the hand again before disappearing into the bathroom. 

    He splashed water on his face, staring up at his reflection, at the water dripping off his eyelashes and the curling ends of the hair that was plastered to his forehead. He rubbed at his face and took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to cry anymore. You had sufficiently comforted him for the night. Peter could breathe again. 

   Peter quietly walked back down the hallway and into your bedroom, watching for a second as you pulled spare blankets down from a shelf in your closet and arranged them on your bay window. You had cleared your bed of your school supplies and had left the covers open for Peter to crawl into without a second though. Which he did. Your covers smelled quite lovely, actually. It was the scent of your perfume that you wore often enough for him to recognize the scent, and he wanted to fall asleep under the inviting covers that were laid out for him. Then, he saw you sit atop your window, about to lie down. 

   “Wait, why are you doing that?” He got out of bed and took your hand for the third time that night, growing accustomed to the feeling of it. He pulled you over to your bed. “You’re not sleeping on a stupid window. That’s ridiculous. I’ll take the window.” He spun you around and ignored the protestant noise you made, gripping your shoulders and sitting you down on the bed. 

   “I’m not letting you take the window, either!” You argued, yanking him back down on the bed. He huffed, glaring at you in a teasing manner. “C’mon, just take the bed. You need it more than I do.” His glare dropped to his lap, an idea rolling around in his head. “What?” 

   “Y/N, how about we just both take the bed?” He said finally, lifting his eyes back to yours. He wasn’t sure what made him say it, why he didn’t just take the floor like he probably should have, but the words were out there in the world and there wasn’t a way to take them back now. You bit your lip, then shrugged, scooting over. 

   “It is big enough for the two of us.” You turned away from him, turning off your lamp and getting under the covers. You heard Peter slide in next to you, but your back was toward him until he poked you sharply. “What’s wrong, Peter?” 

   “Can you- um, well-” 

   You flipped over on your side, just barely making out his face in the darkness of your room. “Do you want me to cuddle you?” Though you said in a teasing sort of tone, you were silently quite pleased when he mumbled a reluctant yes. You moved closer, one arm going around his waist and the other underneath him. Your head was on his chest, listening to the resilient beating of his heart. He placed his chin atop your head. He focused on the sound of your steady breaths until you were sleeping peacefully beside him. 

    He was so grateful for you- the person who stood by his side throughout anything and everything. You, so strong and beautiful and brave and comforting in his times of distress. You, who never seemed to waver in your loyalty to him. You, the very picture of loveliness and a girl who he’d very much like to- 

   His eyes flew open, and he almost jumped away from you. He didn’t want to risk you awakening, though, so he stayed put, freaking out internally rather than externally the way he was prone to doing. He had been thinking of kissing you. That was what he was going to say. Kiss. The thought had come so simply to his brain it was like he already thought the same thing for years. Maybe he had. It wasn’t like he was blind. You were a stunning girl, even if you didn’t think so yourself, you were his best friend, you were practically perfect and Peter would be an idiot to not adore you the way that he did. 

   Adore, adore, adore. Oh, boy. Peter glanced down at you, sleeping in his arms, and confirmed what he had so stupidly never noticed before. His infinitesimal, brief affection for Liz Allen had absolutely nothing on his all encompassing love for you. 


   Peter bid you goodbye that morning at six thirty sharp, before either of your parents had woken up for work. Before he slipped out your window and into the cracks early morning sunlight, he had pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to your cheek. It was only the briefest touch of his lips to your face, but you had held your face, right in that spot, for practically the entire day. Ned had questioned why, but you brushed him off with an answer of exhaustion. 

   The day after that, Peter returned to school, dragging Ned off to the side as soon as he stepped off the train platform. He had waited for the other boy purposely, seeking advice. 

   “I have a huge, gigantic, terrible awful problem right now, Ned!” He exclaimed as soon as he saw him, throwing his hands up in the air. “I need help.” 

   “Psychiatric help,” Michelle supplied, appearing out of nowhere as she usually did before walking down the path to school. 

   Ned shrugged. “She’s not wrong.” 

   Peter, frantic, seized Ned’s shoulders and shook him. “This is not a roast Peter session! This a cry for help! Help me, Ned Leeds!” 

   “Am I your only hope?” Peter wanted to scream. 

   “This isn’t the time for Star Wars puns, either!” Not waiting for Ned to quip back that every time was Star Wars time, Peter said, loudly, “I’m in love with Y/N and I don’t know what to do!” He ran his hands in his hair, wanting to pull it out. “I just- I just realized the other night! Everything just kind of, like, clicked and I’ve been so stupid. I should’ve realized it before, but of course I didn’t and now I have no idea what to do!” 

   “Wait, dude, you seriously have never noticed this before? Are you kidding me? Peter, you’re supposed to be the genius of the school. I feel let down.” Ned shook his head solemnly. “Dude, everyone knows you love her. Even Flash. That’s why he picks on her all the time. He likes pissing you off and nothing gets under your skin more than someone messing with Y/N. She’s the first one you told about being Spider-Man, you go to her for all your problems, you practically pee yourself racing to be her partner for almost everything- not science because science is our subject, but still. I figured you knew you loved her and just didn’t wanna talk about it because she’s out of your league.” 

   “Hey! I am not-” He stopped. “So what if I am? That’s not even the point. The point is that I love her. Me realizing it was inevitable, even if it took me like eighty years to get there. Doesn’t matter. I’ve gotta tell her, right?”

   “You totally should,” Ned encouraged. “She’s definitely in love with you, too.” 

    Hopefully, Peter grinned. “You really think so?” 

    “Anything’s possible!” 

    “The reassurance you give me is suffocating, Ned. Stop before I die.” 

    That day in gym class, Ned and Peter went off to the side to pretend they were doing stretches while you sat with Michelle and conversed about literature for the first half of the period. Your conversation, however, soon led off into other directions. 

    “Hey, MJ, have you ever… I don’t know, been in love?” 

    Michelle raised her eyebrows. “Only with crushing the patriarchy. Why? Have you?” The intuitive girl already knew your answer, of course, but she was invested in you and Peter’s love story and was desperate to hear the truth from your own lips. 

   You played with the hem of your shirt, thinking. Peter and Ned casually inched closer, having been listening to the conversation for quite sometime now. They were unapologetically nosy. “I think I am.” 

   “With who?” Peter clasped his hands together, silently pleading with the universe to grant him this one wish. I promise, universe, I’ll never ask for anything ever again in my whole life if you just let this girl love me back I swear I’ll be the best Spider-Man there ever was and I’ll protect New York until I’m eighty five just please oh my god please- 

   “With Peter.” 

   The gasp he let out was involuntary, but you didn’t hear him. He turned to Ned, his expression of shock, as well as elation, mirroring Peter’s own. Suddenly, Ned stood, shouting for the entire gym class to hear, “Y/N! Peter loves you too!” You looked up, Michelle’s happy and knowing smirk going unnoticed by you because the only thing you could focus on was Peter and what Ned had just declared. 

   The gym fell silent, every student turning to stare at you and Peter. You were frozen in shock up until the bell rang and everyone filed out quickly, leaving you and Peter alone. 

   “Did he mean it?” You asked, your sneakers squeaking against the floor as you closed the distance between you and Peter, your head tilted to meet his. 

   “It’s the truest thing anyone has ever said.” His lips met yours, and the slant of his mouth against your own was a feeling you could definitely come to adore more than you already did after just one kiss. 

{Special} College!AU Jaehyun
  • major: visual arts / concentration: sculpture 
  • minor: n/a
  • sports: the star player and point guard for the uni’s basketball team 
  • clubs: wanted to join the art club but it conflicted with practice so his coach said he should drop it 
  • jaehyun is what you could call a campus celebrity, as in everyone always greets him and not only students ,,,,,,,but teachers too
  • all the faculty are always like jaehyun!!! you won us another trophy!!!! and jaehyun is like “well the whole te-” and they’re like cANT WaIT foR YOU TO TAKE US TO NATIONALS
  • and he’s just,,,,very humble about it because he doesn’t really know what to do with all the attention,,,,,and his friends (we are all looking at johnny) don’t let him live it down
  • and it’s /true/ his basketball scholarship is paying his full tuition and he loves the sport,,,,,,,,so he plays and practices with everything he’s got
  • but also,,,,,he’s got interests and hobbies 
  • and everyone on the team thinks he chose his “art major” because it’s “easy” and wont cut into practice 
  • because they’re all like jaehyun,,,,,you’re gonna get scouted and go pro right??????
  • but the reality is jaehyun,,,,,,jaehyun likes art. he likes looking at it, learning about it,,,,,,,,and making it 
  • yuta once pointed out that jaehyun’s hands are perfect for playing basketball they’re strong and big and can hold the ball really well while,,,,,,,ahem taeyong here with his bony little - jkjk
  • but jaehyun had agreed,,,,,his hands are nice,,,,,but they’re strong not only for basketball but because he likes to sculpt
  • just being in the studio,,,working with clay,,,,it calms him down but it also takes a lot of physicality that people overlook
  • and out of everyone it feels like only some of his friends get that his future isn’t just basketball basketball basketball,,,,,,
  • like mark and ten think it’s really cool and taeil always seems to cut the conversation when doyoung and johnny go off on tangents about how ~cool~ pro basketball jaehyun will be
  • but,,,,,,,,jaehyun knows he has responsibilities to the team,,,the school,,,,,and to keeping his scholarship 
  • also lets all take a moment to enjoy jaehyun in the basketball uniform,,,,sweaty,,,,towel around his neck
  • or even better,,,,,jaehyun after practice in a tank top,,,,,sweat pants,,,,,wet hair from the showers
  • ok ahem moving on
  • johnny does this thing where he yells JEFFREY at every game and jaehyun would flip him off if he wasnt such a sweet person LOL
  • keeps all the banners people make for him because he doesnt have the heart to throw them away or not accept them
  • and his roommate mark is like bro,,,,,,,,bro our closet is overflowing,,,brO
  • half the people in his art classes think he’s a joke and try to be high and mighty about how he’s just a jock,,,,,,,,,,but the other half are just heart eyes because wOW look at his muscles 
  • does the thing where he carries everything during studio or shop classes like literally carried about fifteen peoples projects,,,,then held the door open for people getting their huge portfolios or canvases through the door,,,,,got the wood for one person,,,,the clay blocks for another
  • he really cannot say no,,,,,,,its a problem jfldsgifdjlkfs
  • he comes back from class completely SPENT and mark is like,,,,,,,i didn’t know art involved so much,,,,,heavy lifting 
  • jaehyun with his face in the pillow: you dont even know mark,,,,,,you dont even know
  • wakes up super early to go running and do push ups on the field and everyone thinks he’s being super intense listening to some wild edm music getting pumped up but actually he’s listening to a podcast on alien abduction or something because hes always bringing it up like 
  • catch him sitting in sculpture II talking to his seatmate about the existence of extraterrestrial beings
  • and the person is just like ???????? and jaehyun is like “im telling you,,,,,they exist!!!!”
  • and then after he’s sitting next to ten and johnny telling them what happened and how his seatmate looked kinda scared and ten is like oh sweetheart,,,,,,,,,,,,,you probably gave the kid a heartattack
  • johnny just laughs his ass off so much he chokes on his rice 
  • he’s a silly boy,,,who is actually much more than his athleticism and he secretly wishes more people,,,,,,,would just accept him as a normal college student and not the ‘star player of the basketball team’
  • like he wants to join clubs!! meet people!! talk to teachers about upcoming exhibits,,,go to museums,,,,go on,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dates
  • but he also feels like he can’t let people down not when even winwin is asking him to sign his notebook because wow jaehyun is on a real winning roll for the team!!!!
  • sometimes when he gets super tired from practice and class he’ll start sleep talking to himself in english and he’ll do it like right in the library where he fell asleep on his books
  • doyoung even took a video of it and it became a meme on campus,,,,,,jaehyun was not happy and chased doyoung around the campus like ten times till taeil just took doyoungs phone and deleted it
  • doyoung: how did you get my password???
  • taeil: i knew your password was ilovetaeyong don’t play yourself
  • anYWAY  
  • you know jaehyun because he’s in your sculpting studio class and unlike most of the people there you don’t care that he’s a jock but you also don’t care about his good looks
  • mostly because,,,,,,,you care about your sculpture LOL not some dude in class who seems to be involved in so much gossip
  • the one thing you do care about and know,,,,,is that he’s got talent. you’ve been seeing him diligently work on this very pretty marble replica of strazza’s the veiled virgin
  • and it’s hard to make marble look like cloth,,,,,,but somehow he’s been pulling it off nicely
  • and whenever he isn’t in the studio,,,you couldn’t help yourself but go and take a closer work because really,,,,,,,,,did the basketball stare really do this>??
  • and one afternoon you happen to be working on your own piece while jaehyun is around and you know 
  • you exchange the pleasantry nods  and whatnot,,,but for the most part it’s quiet aside from the noise of your tools which is completely fine with you
  • until,,,,,,,,suddenly it’s anything but quiet
  • because the door has busted open and a couple of jaehyun’s rowdy teammates have strolled inside,,,,,,
  • and they’re like “coach said practice schedule is fucked up and we gotta be in the gym in ten minutes, let’s go jung”
  • and jaehyun is like ill be there but i need time to clean up-
  • “it’s just your art stuff, do it later and if its jacked just say it’s ‘abstract’”
  • you pretend to not listen,,,,but for some reason you can already feel something bad is going to happen
  • and just as you gaze over your shoulder you see one the dudes lean against the table,,,,,jaehyun’s almost done sculpture sitting dangerously close to the side
  • before you can think you open your mouth to say he should move it when,,,,,,,the dude turns to look at you and,,,,,,then you hear the sound
  • the sound,,,,,of broken marble
  • the shattered remains of jaehyun’s sculpture spread out on the floor of the studio in a sad,,,,big mess
  • and you can’t see that well across the room but jaehyun’s body has gone rigid and the group of loud boys have come to a hushed silence
  • you hear one of them swallow,,,another says they need to hurry to practice and that he’ll tell the coach jaehyun’s gonna be late
  • everyone leaves and you watch,,,wide eyed as jaehyun stares at the pile that was once all his hard work 
  • you think for a minute that,,,,,he’s going to get mad,,,,start screaming?? flailing his arms??? throwing things??? chasing that douche bag??
  • but jaehyun does nothing,,,,,he just drops to his knees and with his own hands starts to clean up
  • and you ,,,, can’t just watch anymore
  • you set down your own work and go over with a bag, crouching down next to jaehyun and helping him pick up the broken marble
  • startled he looks up,,,,and you can’t believe it when you see him try and force a smile 
  • “it’s ok, you don’t have to hel-”
  • “why didn’t you drag him back here? why didn’t you tell that asshole to go to hell? you at least deserved to do that.”
  • silently jaehyun stares at you,,,,before going back to cleaning with a small shrug
  • “it’s fine. i haven’t been working on this too long anyway.”
  • stopping you move some hair from your face and furrow your eyebrows
  • “what are you talking about, you’ve been working on this for weeks?”
  • jaehyun’s shoulders seem to drop,, his hands shaking over the remaining pieces and you hear him sigh
  • not understanding why he’s holding back so much you ask him again 
  • “why didn’t you tell him to go to-”
  • “because he’s on my team. the team,,,,,is more important right now.”
  • scoffing you push jaehyun’s hand away,,, for a second you think you’re being rude but at the same time you don’t know how to deal with that kind of logic
  • “if the team is important go to practice, i can take care of this. also ,,,,, is it jaehyun?”
  • jaehyun meets your eyes,,,suddenly sitting up straight and nodding and you shake your head
  • “don’t devalue your own work and talent. tell that guy, even if he is on your team that he should have some respect for what you do,,,,,,even if it isn’t baseball.”
  • “basketball.”
  • “what?”
  • “i,,,i play basketball”
  • “,,,,,,,,,,oh,,,,,,,wELL same thing. you should tell him off.”
  • laughing a little at yourself you make another comment that if jaehyun wants you can teach him some ‘choice’ words perfect for telling someone off but jaehyun refuses politely and says that he really cant make u clean all this up
  • but you shoo him away again and jaehyun,,,,stares at you for a moment
  • trying to remember,,,,,your name,,,,,,who you are,,,,,and when he says your name you look at him again and you’re like yes?
  • and he just fluster’s a bit and is like oh ,,, no i was just remembering it,,,im ,,im gonna go now
  • and you’re like ok? and he nearly trips over himself as he’s leaving but you just shrug it off and clean up and,,,,,really you cant believe it
  • murmuring to yourself about how if it had been your sculpture you would have lost your shit
  • but either way you find yourself going into the storage room,,,getting out a new block of marble and placing it on top of jaehyun’s work desk.
  • with a small note: ‘do it again, but this time dont keep it at the edge of the table’
  • at practice,,,jaehyun apologizes in front of the coach,,,,,and it all seems fine but also he cant,,,,,,concentrate
  • because every time he’s supposed to assist or pass the ball he can barely aim and everyone is like jaehyun???? Stop being so upset about the sculpture art is easy to pass, just make something half-assed c’mon
  • and jaehyun doesn’t say anything,,,,but it isn’t even the sculpture that has his brain in a fog,,,,,,,
  • it’s you
  • because ever since he started that class,,,,,he knew who you were,,,,but why didn’t he know anything else
  • and why ,,,,,,,,,,, was he so interested in knowing now
  • the next day,,,after coming to the studio you’d noticed that the marble was untouched ,,, which didn’t bother you but you’d hoped jaehyun would show up
  • and when he did,,,,,,,you were surprised to hear him call out to you
  • standing by the block of marble grinning,,,he pointed to it and is like “a gift from you?” and you just roll your eyes because,,,,,,,,,no it’s a gift from the school because does it look like you have money for marble
  • but jaehyun is still grinning 
  • and you’re like “get to sculpting” and he’s like ,,,,,,,,i will
  • it’s ,,,,, a comfortable silence again
  • just like usual,,,just the sound of tools and the small specks of sunlight coming through the windows
  • but this time,,,,,when you look over to see how jaehyun is doing,,,,,,you look at him hard at work
  • his strong hands working carefully and with detail ,,,, but you notice something else
  • his profile
  • soft hair,,,,long eyelashes,,,,an almost perfect nose,,,,and lips,,,,,parted in concentration with a small hint of his tongue sticking out as he sits back to study his progress
  • and you’re like @ yourself like w,,,,,,what the heck are you looking at go back to your own work
  • but it’s TOO late and you’ve been caught staring and jaehyun is like “it’s not much yet,,,,im kind of not sure what to make”
  • and you try to gather yourself and not make it look like you were totally just checking him out and you’re like 
  • “w-what about the veiled virgin or are you not gonna do that?” 
  • jaehyun scrunches up his nose (so cutely - wait what?) and goes “i want to do something ,,, original,,,,,,i kind of,,,,,well it’s embarrassing”
  • and you’re like ????? whats embarrassing
  • and jaehyun scratches the back of his neck and is like “i want to enter it in the monthly contest at the museum,,,,,,,,,,but i know im not good enough and i dont have the ti-”
  • you put up your hand and jaehyun is like ? and you’re like “that’s a great idea! you should do it, actually you’re going to do it. because you deserve it.”
  • jaehyun seem slightly confused and you tilt your head and are like “whats that look for?”
  • and he’s like n,,,nothing just no one has ever,,,,,encouraged me to do something art related it just,,,,,,feels different
  • you try to hold back a chuckle but you can’t and you’re like ,,,,, jaehyun,,,,,,,do what you want, you have talent so use it oh and also
  • jaehyun lifts his shy gaze to meet yours and you’re like
  • “also learn to tell people off seriously.”
  • and he’s like yOURE STILL ON THAT And you’re like YES I AM SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU NOT YELL AT THAT DUDE I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM
  • jaehyun just sighs and is like you sound like johnny he always brings up dumb stuff from the past and ur like who is johnny and jaehyun brings his hands up and is like nothing nothing ill get back to work
  • and ,,,,, it’s like that for a while,,,,,,,,,,,
  • sometimes you and jaehyun are the only two in the room working,,,,,sometimes it’s more people ,,,,,,,, 
  • but somehow,,,,,there’s something between you now maybe like an untold secret???? 
  • the fact that he hasnt told anyone else kind of makes you feel a bit special,,,but you also cant help but think,,,,,whats it like to have no one support you for that long
  • sure people are jaehyun’s basketball fans and whatnot but,,,,,does anyone tell him,,,,,,,basketball isn’t all he has to do,,,,,that art is a choice too
  • and you can’t believe it. you’re having sentimental thoughts about some BOY you’re not even that close with 
  • like UGH WHAT THE HECK 
  • you bang your head against your laptop keyboard and your friend is like dude hello u ok??? and ur like i gtg ,,,, work on my sculpture and she’s like it’s ten pm- and ur like its fine i know where the spare is 
  • and so you head over to the studio,,,,,,it’s dark in the hallway but you can see the lights are from under the crack in the door
  • and when you put your hand on the knob,,,the door opens easily
  • and you see jaehyun,,,,hunched over the marble,,,,,,and you can see that it’s the mold of someones face
  • but there doesn’t seem to be much detail in it yet and jaehyun finally notices you and smiles and he’s like “are you here to work?”
  • and you nod,,,,,coming over and looking at his sculpture before you can’t help it and go “whose it going to be?”
  • jaehyun sits back,,,,chewing on his bottom lip and going “i don’t know,,,,,”
  • you sigh and remind him that if he wants to enter it,,,he’s going to have to submit it to the museum by the end of the week and jaehyun is like i know i know
  • but then,,,,,as you’re both sitting in silence again,,,,,,jaehyun turns around and asks “are you hungry?”
  • and it’s,,,,nearing midnight but,,,,,,,a snack couldn’t hurt
  • and to your surprise jaehyun pulls out peaches and bread from his back and you’re like ??? do you just carry those around
  • and he’s like “yeah i also have protein bars in here, instant ramen - do you want ramen?”
  • and you’re like,,,,,i???? it’s ok ill take a peach
  • before you know it,,,,,your work has been abandoned and you and jaehyun are sitting across from each other talking about this and that
  • till he says something about practice tomorrow at 8 am and you realize it’s past 2 am now
  • and you both have to gather your things and sneak back to your dorms and jaehyun ,,,, before you leave
  • says that he’s thankful that sculpture of his was broken and you raise an eyebrow and he jsut smiles and is like “if it hadn’t broken,,,,,we wouldn’t have go to hang out like this.”
  • and you’re like o,,,h,,,,,,,,,,and god dammit why does jaehyun make your cool, aloof personality crumble
  • but he waves and is gone before you can blush in front of him and embarrass yourself
  • ,,,,,,and it’s like,,,,,,,,,now it isn’t just two art students in a class together,,,,,,it’s friends
  • finally the last day of the week comes and you’re in the studio,,,looking at jaehyun whose covered his sculpture with a towel and you’re like ,,,,,,,jaehyun show it to me
  • and he’s just giving you a sly smile and is like you’ll see it at the museum
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,,,heY where would you be if i didn’t encourage you now show me-
  • but before you can finish your argument the door opens again and jaehyun’s basketball teammates appear again 
  • out of precaution jaehyun moves his sculpture to the table behind him and you give most of them an unamused look as they start touching this and that
  • jaehyun asks whats up and one of the guys is like “c’mon, coach wants us to have a big meeting about strategy for next week.” 
  • you look at jaehyun and then at the sculpture
  • “jaehyun has to come with me to the museum, tell the coach he’ll be there later.”
  • jaehyun turns to look at you,,,,,whose speaking with your hands crossed over your chest
  • the teammates just laugh and are like “and you are?”
  • and you’re like “jaehyun’s classmate. we’re submitting our sculptures to the museum. the deadlines in an hour so,,,,,,,he’ll be there later.”
  • the laughter stops and one of the teammates steps toward you
  • standings tall,,,,,,obviously since he’s also a basketball player,,,,,you don’t let it intimidate you but at the same time you realize that there’s four more people,,,,,,,four more people who dont want jaehyun to go with you
  • “i don’t think i remember jaehyun saying anything about that. so,,,,,he’ll be going with us.”
  • you frown and open your mouth but suddenly jaehyun steps in front of you and lets one hand rest on your wrist
  • and he’s like “guys, ill go with you. no big deal.”
  • turning to you,,,,jaehyun mouths for you to let it go but you can’t,,,,because again,,,,,,basketball is in the way of something else he loves
  • and you’re like “no you won’t, jaehyun you need to submit the sculpture in person -”
  • jaehyun just smiles,,,but you can see the sadness in his eyes and he says its fine, there’s next month.
  • with that,,,you watch him follow his teammates out and you’re left alone,,,,,jaehyun’s hidden sculpture on the table beside you
  • ,,,,,,,,,,,,then you realize,,,,,,,,you can do it.
  • you can submit it for him
  • and carefully, you take the art into your arms and make way for the museum because there isn’t anyway you’re going to let jaehyun’s talent go to waste this time
  • and when you do get there,,,the woman accepting them asks for your name and you go “jung jaehyun” and she scribbles it down and asks what the name of the sculpture is
  • and you’re like,,,,,,,,,well you don’t even know because you didn’t even have the time to LOOK at it
  • so you kind of panic and blurt out ‘the one’,,,,,,thinking it is his first sculpture,,,,,and it is a person,,,,,,,,,so maybe its someone special?????
  • the woman waves her hand and says you may go
  • and with a beating heart you leave the museum and on the train back to school you think,,,,,,why didn’t you look at the sculpture?? were you scared,,,,,were you????? jealous of who it could be??
  • shaking off the idea you think that what matters now is if he wins or not
  • ,,,,,,,,,and like clockwork the results come out and eagerly you visit the museums website and,,,,,,,,,,,
  • the winner,,,,,,jung jaehyun’s,,,,,,sculpture,,,,,,’the one’ 
  • and looking at the photo you almost drop out of your chair because the sculpture,,,,,,,,,,,the sculpture looks like you
  • and with no time to waste you dash out of your dorm,,,headed straight to the gym where you didn’t realize that there is going to be a game tonight
  • and the place is packed with students even though it doesnt start for another hour and you fight through the crowds on the bleachers
  • managing to get up to the court and jaehyun,,,,,whose doing stretches notices you
  • because well,,,,,,,out of excitement you literally run ONTO the court 
  • and the ref and coach are yelling at you to stop but you don’t hear them and jaehyun is like “what are you-”
  • and you run right into his arms and you’re like “jAEHYUN YOU WON!! YOUR SCULPTURE IS IN THE MUSEUM”
  • and jaehyun is frozen,,,,,,the entire gym staring at you two and an uproar of whispers about how one jaehyun is,,,,,,an art major???? two,,,,,jaehyun is dating,,,,,,,you????? i mean you are in his arms?????? you did run acROSS THE COURT to see him????/
  • pulling back you look at jaehyun,,,,who seems to still be processing what you’ve said and he’s like h-how i didn’t submit it? and ur like i went,,,,i put it in and i,,,,,,,,i didn’t look at it but then i saw it on the website and jaehyun,,,,,,,,,,jaehyun was it me?
  • turning cherry red,,jaehyun stutters over his answer but it’s obviously a yes and you grin and jaehyun is like “you inspired me,,,,,,i mean you were the only one to say,,,,,,i deserved it.”
  • and your smile grows wider and you’re like you do,,,,jaehyun look you did it,,,,because you’re talented and i -
  • without knowing how to put it into words you lean in and jaehyun reflexively puts his hands on either side of your face to pull you closer and it’s a kiss
  • right there in front of the whole gym
  • (which you later realize and get vERY embarrassed about)
  • but in the moment it’s perfect and,,,,,,,,,when you pull back you’re like 
  • “oh one more thing before i go because your coach looks like he might murder me -”
  • and jaehyun is like yes?? and you look around and find the dude who had broken jaehyun’s sculpture and you yell out his number and ur like “yeah you number 5,,,,,,,,,,,,this is me telling you off because jaehyun is too nice: GO TO HELL’ ok bye now”
  • and with that you dash off the court before the coach can chase you and jaehyun is standing there,,,,,lovestruck but also shocked
  • and the team is like what the hell jaehyun and he just shrugs because honestly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you’re wild and he,,,,,,
  • he freaking loves it
  •  you do get banned from games for a while,,,,,but its worth it
  • you hear that jaehyun won the game the next morning,,,mostly because you wake up to find all your friends standing over you demanding to know why the mvp of the uni basketball team just said in his winning interview that his significant other,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU,,,,,,,,,,,really inspired him tonight
  • and you’re like ,,,,me/?? jaehyun??? my??? boyfriend??? and they’re like YEAH EXPLAIN
  • but you dont even know what to say because everything is kind of a blur and did kissing jaehyun in front of the whole student body mean you were now dating??? who knows
  • well jaehyun knows so thats why you go to find him
  • and you do,,,, he’s doing another run on the uni’s track field and when he spots you he smiles and comes over and you’re like heY,,,,,,,,,so,,,,,,,,
  • and he’s like “i,,,,,,hope you,,,,,,,,,didnt mind me calling you my,,,,,,,,,,,s-s-s-s-”
  • “signigicant other?”
  • “,,,y,,,yes”
  • you kind of pretend to make a face and think about it,,,,rocking back and forth on your heels and you’re like hMMM well,,,,,,,
  • and jaehyun’s eyes turn into puppy eyes and he’s oh,,,no did i make you mad-
  • and you just lean up and kiss his cheek and you’re like nah, i like this straightforward jaehyun much more so,,,,,,,be like this more 
  • jaehyun blushing: than can i be honest
  • you: sure
  • jaehyun: ,,,,,,,did you like the sculpture?
  • you: i loved it. also,,,,i never knew someone could make me look so pretty
  • jaehyun: you’re stunning
  • you, blushing and trying to hide it behind your hands: ok,,,tOO straightforward
  • jaehyun throws his arm around you and you guys get off the track field and it’s,,,,cute because you’re walking across campus like an ACTUAL couple and okay,,,,this is,,,,,,something you could get used to
  • but yes dating jaehyun is like dating the sweetest boy who ever lived and ,,,,,,,,,,,wow do his friends really not let anyTHING go
  • you finally meet johnny and the first thing he says is “so,,,,,we gonna get a repeat of that basketball court smooch OH and dont forget the part where you told the dude to go to hell” and you’re like oh my god jaehyun you compared me tO HIM
  • and jaehyun is like oh,,,,,,,you know what i am sorry about that john here is special
  • john: excuse me,,,,,,jeffery
  • you: jeffery? 
  • jaehyun: if it were not for the fact that im a soft angelic person i would have kill-
  • but the rest of nct all really like you because,,,,,,basically you help jaehyun out of his shell,,,,,,
  • taeil and ten especially because wow they havent ever seen jaehyun so open and happy to talk about art???? like they’ve known about his passion but,,,,,you’ve let him explore
  • also oh my god you can really shut johnny up ,,,, but it even works on doyoung???? like one look and walla,,,,,,,,they’re convinced you have magic powers
  • but in reality it’s because you gave doyoung a noogie and made him apologize for asking jaehyun if he could make a sculpture of taeyong’s face
  • jaehyun is the kind of boyfriend that becomes more comfortable with time,,,,which you don’t mind because taking it slow isn’t bad
  • like if holding hands is all he wants to do in public than of course you’ll respect that
  • but also when you steal kisses every now and then while he’s studying or sketching you can liteRALLY feel his face heat up 
  • and you’re like how are you so handsome and yet so,,,,,easily flustered???? and jaehyun is like,,,,i ,,,,,,,,u,,,,,,kiss,,,,,,,,a,,,h,,, i need some water
  • he has a packed schedule between practice and spending more time on his art and you can tell when he hasn’t gotten any rest because he starts getting bags under his eyes and doesnt smile
  • and even though it’s kind of attractive,,,,you hate seeing him like that so you’ll literally sit in front of him and feed him lunch and be like “go to sleep on time, idc if the guys want to hang out after practice do you want to pass out tomorrow in class? no? exactly.”
  • someone once said you were a bossy s/o and u were like excuse m- but jaehyun just went ‘i would die without them so politely, leave us alone.’ 
  • but even with all your worry,,,, jaehyun has also taught you to be a bit softer
  • because yeah you always want to tell off his mean teammates or his over pressuring coach but jaehyun reminds you that sometimes in life you need to girt your teeth and take it
  • the amount of times he’s just pulled you into his arms when you’re fuming to calm you down,,,,,,,,you’ve lost count 
  • does the thing where he nuzzles his nose into the top of your hair and you can feel him grip onto you a little tighter
  • and you realize that even though he’s strong, handsome, and smart,,,,,,even people so perfect need comfort and closeness 
  • jaehyun let’s you wear his clothes but not without him denying that it’s his clothes is someone asks even though doyoung is like i literally gave you that hoodie like a year ago for christmas and jaehyun is like,,,,,,,,,,,i,,,,,,,,,,um
  • and you’re like yeah its his we just spent an hour cuddling in his bed so i wanted to wear i-
  • jaehyun laughing really loud over you like hAHAHA we nEED To go bYE dOYOUNG
  • it’s hard now to work in the same room on your art because you and jaehyun get distracted and its like u can go maybe an hour before one or the other comes over and you guys start talking and its just,,,,,,
  • heart eyes @ each other from then on out 
  • whenever he smiles and the dimples come out you literally are like let me take a photo and jaehyun is like but u have 394302 photos of me smiling,,,,and ur like i can never have enough i love dimple
  • whenever you want to go on dates,,, jaehyun always suggests something outdoorsy and active and sometimes you forget that jaehyun is Good At All the Sports
  • and it’s like dating an olympic athlete,,,,,,you cannot keep up most of the time,,,,,,,
  • but its fine because jaehyun,,,even though he’s trying to run up this mountain,,,,,will contain himself just for you ildjsfg
  • gets corny when he sees kids and is like “a family,,,,,,in the future would be so nice,,,,,,,,” and you’re like “you’re smiling like a dad jaehyun” and he’s like oOPS,,,,,,,,but it’s,,,,,,,,,it’s cute 
  • you can see that he’s so gentle and caring with everyone he meets you can’t help but be like,,,,,,,,he is,,,,,,going to be a great parent some day
  • you didnt believe he could cook well too when ten told you about jaehyun’s secret delicious ramen
  • but then you guys were making some,,,jaehyun standing at the stove,,,,and you sitting on the kitchen counter and when he’d feed you you were like hOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING 
  • and jaehyun just laughed and u were just like jaehyun tell me baby are you a robot because you’re good at everything
  • and he was shy but he was like no im real here ill prove it,,,,,,he kissed you and u were like ur right robots can’t do that with their tong-
  • jaehyun: AnYWAY
  • you once stayed at his dorm for a date and when jaehyun picked beauty and the beast you kinda teased him a bit ,,, but also ended up cuddled up together crying about the beast’s backstory
  • and then making out for like an hour because it’s hard not to when jaehyun just wears sweats ,,,,,,and your shirt is really loose,,,,,,,,, and jaehyun is good at kissing,,,,,,,,,,,,very good,,,,,,,,,,,,, and -
  • but mark came back pretty early and you guys had to pretend you were just playing cards instead
  • mark: i didnt know your hair could be so messy playing cards. huh
  • you and jaehyun sweating like uH,,,,,
  • you’d managed to sneak into one of his games but unfortunately instead of staying quiet you’d basically yelled for jaehyun to CRUSH the other team and the coach had to chase you out again
  • but you waited outside of the gym and instead of kissing the trophy and celebrating jaehyun had ran straight outside to you and honestly,,,,,,,,,what could the coach do about that? LOL
  • jaehyun jokingly challenging you to some basketball but since he wouldn’t let you score you were like fine i wont kiss u for a whole week
  • and jaehyun basically begged for you to not be mad and u just couldn’t resist
  • like have you seen jaehyun’s big,,,brown eyes????
  • you’d caved and just started kissing his face all over and jaehyun just grinning and hold you around the waist and ,,,,,,,,,basically you two being super duper cute
  • someone complimenting jaehyun’s artwork: you smugly going that’s my boyfriend and yes he’s amazing and did i mention that he’s taken,,,,i love him
  • jaehyun blushing but also loving the fact that you love him so openly and unapologetically 
  • and wow let me mention this one last time: jaehyun in a basketball uniform but also,,,,,,,,,,jaehyun concentrating hard on a sculpture with a low cut shirt and big hands covered in clay,,,,,,,,like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yall

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