anonymous asked:

just wanna say that i have an Alexa and i was up til like 2 am reading your theories one night. the next morning i had to turn off her alarm and i said “ANTI” really loudly instead of saying “Alexa”,,, i was so embarrassed,,

Am I getting into your head? =)

every short film about a trans man

[scene opens on a mother and an underweight white attractive teenager with a good jawline]

mother: Brenda, You half to wear a dress to The Event that we are going to, which is very important .

teenager: Well ok mother.

[teenager goes upstairs]

[teenager removes their clothes and is wearing a perfectly matched underwear and bra for some reason. teenager looks in their full-length mirror with a wistful look on their face. teenager twists around their body to look at it for a solid minute or so. there is a dress on their bed and they put it on]

teenager: Why does this feel so…. Wrong ?

[breathe me by sia starts playing]

[teenager rips off the dress and runs really loudly to the bathroom and grabs some kindergarten scissors and starts dramatically chopping off their hair in giant jagged hunks. the music swells. the camera cuts and they emerge from the bathroom with a perfectly styled undercut, somehow]

[teenager destroys like 3 cabinets searching for ace bandages very dramatically, goes back to full-length mirror, wraps ace bandages around chest, heaves a trembling sigh of relief. teenager puts on a flannel and jeans because those are the only clothes the Trans Council allows us to wear. the music slowly trails out]

[teenager walks confidently downstairs]


teenager: No…. Mother…. I am a boy…. I have been my whole life…. I have been trapped in a womanse body…. And my name….. is………. Brendan.

mother: [slaps teenager across the face]

teenager: AUGH 

mother: Fuck I’m sorry the budget for the production of this film is running out so we have to draw the emotional arc to a close here. I am sorry my child and I will try my best to accept you for who you are

teenager: I understand and forgive you

[they embrace]

[fade to black]

[breathe me by sia plays again]

prayaga22  asked:

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Can you do one about OT4 supporting TaeBaby with his first solo concert ? TT TT TT TT So emo as it is but since I love death I need this lol ^^

i was waiting for the concert to be a little closer to get to this one! 


  • told taemin that under N O circumstance would he be attending his concert 
  • he’s serious
  • he’s serious taemin 
  • taemin doesn’t believe him largely bc he personally gave him the ticket as well as to the rest of shinee????? (taemin: stop this gag) 
  • backstage: brought a cutout of taemin’s head that’s the size of half a human and makes taemin take multiple pictures with it 
  • honestly such a proud dad 
  • “do well okay???? don’t use all your energy all at once!!! you’re going to do so great omg” 
  • waving his arm so hard it looks like he’s doing the propeller part from everybody but he just wants senpai to notice him 


  • when he first sees taemin all made up and in costume, he’s all like “WHOA IS THAT TAEMIN????? LEE TAEMIN?????? LEE TAEMIN OF SHINEE???? SO NICE TO SEE YOU SUNBAE-NIM WE CAME TO SUPPORT YOU” 
  • sHOOK when taeminnie takes off his shirt
  • opens his instagram and tries to compare if that’s how he looked during x-inspiration 
  • wearing taemin’s jacket that he won at weekly idol for being taemin’s #1 fan 
  • @ all the taemints: let it be known, he is the ultimate taemint ok??
  • screaming oppa a lot on the top of his lungs 


  • knows all the fanchants bc research 
  • waving around two lightsticks 
  • when they went to see him before the concert, he personally checked what taebaebae was going to wear and gave his approval
  • smoothes his hair down and makes sure tae has like 5 water bottles lined up for easy access after he finishes a performance 
  • @ the shirt off part: *whispers* taeman
  • before concert: posts a picture of taemin from replay era with the caption “this kid is having a solo concert??? this child that i fed and ironed his uniform for?? aigoo you grew up a lot maknae. do well tonight, don’t be scared bc hyungs aren’t up there with you, also get an instagram already……………….”  


  • completely loaded with taemin merch 
  • taemin’s merch sold out in like 4 mins 
  • you know why?
  • choi minho
  • wearing a shirt (that he got made for this very occasion) of taemin’s face 
  • super proud of it and super gleeful that taemin’s embarassed af by all his taemin swag 
  • was going to write taemin on his forehead with eyeliner but key restrained him 
  • brought a package of ramen and offers to cook it for him 
  • and also takayaki 
  • and banana milk 
  • and on all of them are lil post-it notes of encouragement 


  • during the first talk, peers into the crowd 
  • “shinee’s here today!!!! HI HYUNGS”
  • waving
  • waving in the wrong direction 
  • realized the people he’s waving to is not them mid-wave but he’s already committed and he’s seeing this wave through (jong: aigoo we even told him what section we were sitting in………….) 
  • the first talk is the hardest bc he’s so used to having someone(four) up there with him to banter with and the stage is so big without ot4 
  • the subsequent talks are a bit easier but he sometimes trips over his words and then he does that thing with his hands and it’s adorable af 
  • swears that he can hear shinee (especially minho) cheering and it makes him smile a lot 
  • tears up bc he’s touched by the fans, his hyungs, and wow this is how it feels to be up on this stage
  • feels invincible 

ot5 :

  • bought a standing wreath made up of blue roses that says “shinee is taeminnie’s fanclub ♡” 

“if lgbt+ people have always existed then why aren’t they in history books?” shit. you got us sharon. you’re right, we’re a recent invention. the truth is, chad, gay people were invented in 1974 when there was a m*a*s*h episode about a gay soldier. bisexuality wasn’t invented until freddie mercury wrote “bicycle race” in the late 70s. the song starts with him going “BI” really loudly and we were like hey thats a cool idea lets be into multiple genders. and then ellen invented lesbians in the late 90s on her sitcom that was pretty cool. please don’t be mad at me fellow gays i just thought it was about time to give up the ruse, donna over here already figured it out anyway

  • anti: *drops hints*
  • us: he's just teasing us,
  • us: anti's all talk
  • anti: *says more cryptic shit in reblogs/tags*
  • us: more tease
  • us: *sigh*
  • anti: s͈̰̺u̧̗͈̟̩r͓̣̥̥̭͓̻p̝͕͈̘͠r̪̬͓̳i̴̭̮̯̺͕̤s̤̣͚e̘̩̕ ̢͖͍͚͖ͅm͓̰̣̀ơt̩̺̭͉̰ͅh̺͚̰͚̕ͅe͍͉͔̫r̙̜̖̝̹̹f͍u̮̞̤̝͔̭̫ç̖͇̼̤̥̳k̤͔͝e̼̮͚r̞̠͍̖̹s͙̝
  • us:
  • anti:
  • us:
  • anti: :)
  • us: ...
  • us: we are fUCKED
Mutually Assured Dating

‘You were singing really loudly in the shower when I broke into your apartment but then i heard you slip and crash and oh god i should probably check on you in case i get done for murder instead of just robbery’ AU

It took all of fourteen seconds for Derek to realize he was in the wrong apartment.

First, he noticed the very large and scuffed up sneakers and boots ditched haphazardly kind of near the door but half into the living room. Cora was meticulous about her shoes and kept them neatly arranged in a shoe rack right next to the door. The only time they touched the floor was when her feet were in them.

Second, the stuff. There was so much stuff everywhere; clothes thrown over the back of the couch, dishes across the coffee table and all over the kitchen counters, books on every surface, a gaming console dragging wires across the floor and surrounded by games, in cases and out of them. Cora was an unintentional minimalist, in that she threw out anything she didn’t need and lacked a single sentimental bone in her body. Derek and Laura regularly made trips to wherever she lived to save family keepsakes and memories from her ruthless cleaning sprees.

Then he noticed the manly warble coming from somewhere deeper in the apartment, and Cora’s favorite topic of rant floated lazily to the forefront of his mind.

—but my neighbor, oh my god this guy! I’m going to kill him if I ever see him in the hall! His bathroom shares a wall with my bedroom and he sings in the shower, every shower, at all hours. Literally all hours, like 4am, and he only sings Christmas carols at 4am. I’ve had Jingle Bells stuck in my head for a week! 

Shoes, stuff, singing.

This was not Cora’s apartment.

Keep reading

The Signs as Cats

Aries : an outdoor cat who goes down to the neighbor’s house to taunt the indoor cats who live there

Taurus : the grumpy old man who used to be super cool and now just wants to be fed on. time and the sun to stay in one goddamn place while he naps

Gemini : you know how all cats have a reputation for biting the shit out of someone when you go to pet their belly? gemini cat is why

Cancer : the kitten that fought and played with all the other kittens and got beaten every single time so is now sitting beside the mom cat crying and begging for attention

Leo : actually a dog but grew up around cats so just assumes cat mannerisms 

Virgo : the show cat, gets their fur trimmed and blown out every week, doesn’t play well with other cats because they are a Star™ (still eats their own vomit though)

Libra : sits on a table. purrs at you. very slowly pushes off whatever it is that you’re drinking. you yell. they open their eyes. the purring stops. there is. a phantom smile on their face as they do it again. repeat infinitely. 

Scorpio : if you ever hear a cat making ungodly cat noises in the wee hours of the night it’s a scorpio cat and it is entirely intentional fuck scorpio cat you’re causing a caffeine addiction

Sagittarius : similar to the scorpio cat but this cat is your cat and they don’t yell ohhhhh no. they just run across the house really loudly when you’re getting ready for bed to stop in your room stare you down then run out the other way. the next morning you realize they somehow stole all your underwear. 

Capricorn : the exhausted parent cat trying to keep a lid on the squirming masses of kittens that seem to erupt from everywhere, very grumpy but doing the best they can given the situation

Aquarius : a rescue cat that’s both scared of everything and fearless, no one’s sure how old it is since it’s full of energy but was in the shelter for a solid year or so without seeming to age at all 

Pisces : the owner. still cries at cat videos, even the funny ones. just *clenches fist* loves them kitties

high school teachers act like college professors are gonna be all serious and tough but one time my history professor showed up to class 10 minutes late on a rainy day looking 500% done and he just stopped in the middle of the room and sighed really loudly and was like
“guys, you know, I had to stop by my car on the way here to get something and I realized….I realized I could literally just get in my car and drive away. I could drive all the way home and sit on my couch and drink a beer. But I came here for you guys. FOR YOU. I love you guys, and when I go home I’m drinking a beer then taking a nap, and then maybe I’ll grade your papers”
and another time in the same class the classroom technology wasn’t working (it rarely ever did) and he was like “well, looks like I’m just going to have to go outside and set this ipad on fire and while I’m at it might as well set myself on fire too”
And one time we spent a whole class talking about those creepy clowns in the news and he somehow managed to connect it to the societal hierarchy of colonial america

27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister



She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.


“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.


Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.


There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

Keep reading

My friend and I were walking down the walkway, talking about the fanfiction I was reading instead of doing work. After telling her a cringy line from it, she laughed and said “good thing these don’t get published as books”. I then replied “unless it’s Fifty Shades. But at least this doesn’t have malec doing BDSM… I don’t think.” A couple of minutes later, we passed another of my friends. So, naturally, I stopped him and said “imagine malec doing BDSM” and ran off