really this is a tortoise

Fun animal facts I have learned being a zoo docent

1. There are several ways to classify the large cats, one of the more useful ones is into the roaring cats (tigers, lions) and the purring cats (bobcats, lynxes). The puma (also known as the mountain lion) is the largest cat that purrs. I’ve heard it up close, it’s amazing. A cheetah’s purr sounds like an idling motorcycle engine.

2. Kangaroos cannot move their legs independently of each other, they have to move them in sync - when they’re on land. When they’re swimming, they can move them separately. Hopping is their most efficient way to move - a walking kangaroo is awkward as hell. They swing both legs forward using their tail as a third leg to prop up while their legs swing.

3. People often think that flamingoes’ knees bend the wrong way. They don’t - the joint you’re seeing in the middle of their leg isn’t their knee, it’s their ankle. Their knee is up by their body, and it bends the same way ours does.

4. Giraffes only sleep 1-2 hours a day.

5. Bald eagles’ vocalizations are not what you expect. When you see a flying bald eagle in the movies and hear that majestic caw sound? That isn’t an eagle, it’s been dubbed over with another bird, usually a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles actually sound…not majestic. Kind of like if a kitten could be a bird.

6. Elephants are one of only a handful of animals that can pass the mirror test - in other words, they can recognize their own reflection (and not think it’s another animal, as dogs and cats usually do). They tested this by placing a chalk mark on an elephant’s forehead and then showing it a mirror. The elephant investigated the mark on its own forehead, indicating it knew that it was looking at itself.  The only animals that pass this test are the higher primates, the higher cetaceans (orcas, dolphines), elephants, and weirdly, magpies.

7. One-fifth of all the known mammal species are bats.

8. A kangaroo mother can have three joeys simultaneously at different stages of development: an embryo in her womb (kangaroos can do what’s called embryonic diapause which means sort of putting the development on pause until she’s ready for it to develop further), a joey in her pouch attached to one nipple, and a joey out of the pouch on the ground who nurses from the other one. The amazing thing? Each of her nipples make different formulations of milk for each joey’s different nutritional needs.

9. Bonobos, our closest genetic relative (they are more closely related to us than they are to either chimps or gorillas) are almost entirely non-aggressive, matriarchal, and use sex to solve all their problems. They engage in both same and opposite sex interactions, non-penetrative sex (oral, rubbing, manual) and with any age. That’s an interesting area to work in, lemme tell you.

10. Tortoises have super loud sex. Like, really loud.

11. All grizzlies are brown bears, but not all brown bears are grizzlies (grizzlies are a sub-categorization of the brown bear).

12. Reindeer are the only deer species where both males and females grow antlers. The males shed theirs the beginning of December, the females shed theirs in the spring. So all of Santa’s reindeer are girls, heh. I love telling little kids that.

13. If a rhinoceros knocks off its horn, it grows back faster than you’d expect. One of ours, Rosie, has knocked hers off twice.

14. Gorillas get crushes on each other. And on the humans that take care of them. Male gorillas also masturbate. I don’t know if the females do, I’ve never seen it. Sometimes it’s like a soap opera up in there.

15. Langur monkeys are silvery-gray in color - their babies are bright orange. Like Cheeto orange, I do not exaggerate.

16. Polar bear fur is not white, it’s transparent, like fiber optics. Also, their skin is black.

I have a sudden immense need for LOTR daemon AUs. I don’t know if I want to read them, write them, draw them, or see them, but I need me some Fellowship + Daemons.

sorry for bothering you with all my crappy drawings, but i’ve honestly been feeling kinda shit recently so i drew you to make myself feel better

um.. sorry, it’s kinda messy, but i thought i should show you since, well, it is supposed to be you - although it doesn’t look much like you, i’m sorry

the tortoise’s two cents: Sweetie, this looks amazing.  And it does look like me!  I’m super stoked that you drew me–and just look at how happy I look!  

Your art always brings a smile to my face.  I get excited whenever you send me anything.  You’re never ever bothering me, and I feel super special that you even felt like drawing something to show me.  

I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling down, though, and I hope you feel better.  <3  You’re amazing.

SWJ+ update ✩ 170602

Everyone it’s been a long time!
It’s Minho!! Are you guys doing well?
This time I went to Maldives with Onew!
The sea is really pretty and it was warm so I felt so happy!
Especially with a board called [SEABOB] that can enter the water, do you know? It was really fun so you guys should try riding it! I saw tortoises in the sea and drank mojito even thought it was work, it was enjoyable that it helped to change my mood ^^ I though that I must come personally the next time!

pic cr. minoutshine
translation: iheartshinee_

So the new chapter may or may not have made me headcanon that the first time Edge saw the Lady really smile convinced him she was some kind of angel.

the tortoise’s two cents:  I’m definitely behind this.  Edge is the type that goes for the nice, angelic ones.  

A girl once told me that she went for innocent guys because “I’m filthy, and they’re so clean and innocent.  It’s like I’m covered in dirt, and they’re a pristine, white bedsheet.  If I roll around with them, sure they’ll become a bit dirty, but in the process, a part of me will become cleaner.”  

That’s stuck with me through the years, and I definitely think that’s why Edge would go for someone sweet and innocent.  


Fact: I love puffers. Here’s one!! 

“Am nice snek. plz no touch glass. k thx” 

Also, most of the staff members at the aquarium were wearing live snakes like necklaces. It was really neat!

Axolotls!!!! ! 

I did NOT pet this one. XD 

A sulcata tortoise!! She was REALLY SHY so I had to sit for a long time to get this photo of her eating the lettuce that I offered!! <3 


Somewhat speculative art of Spinosaurus aegyptiacus hunting a speculative species of “swamp-turtle”. I couldn’t really find anything about turtles/tortoises in the fossil-record of the Chenini formation but it seems highly likely turtles would have inhabited such giant swamp-area. I based the turtles on Axestemys and modern species of similar kinds.

Also I tried doing a background for once. Took me an entire day.


It turns out Poe Dameron really likes watching squirrels. #tortoise #tortoisesofinstagram

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How to Take Care of Russian Tortoise

So, long ago when I just got my tortoises, I realized people have no idea of how to properly take care of these little things in order to avoid diseases and all other kind of unpleasant stuff. People think tortoise don’t really demand much care, but they actually do! What I’m going to talk about does 100% apply to Russian Tortoises; however, I believe it can also work for alike kinds, but I still suggest to double check. 

You should have:

• A terrarium. Your tortoise should not be on the floor or any other places but it’s terrarium, as it is pretty cold for it on the floor and you can also occasionally step on it. In addition, being on the floor all the time leads to deformation of tortoise’s nails (they get crooked). It should be in a warm place (don’t put terrarium on the windowsills, so as tortoise might catch a cold). If you can’t get a real glass terrarium, you can get just a big plastic box from Walmart or any other place. 

• 2 lamps: heating and UV. As long as tortoise’s shells need calcium, they need sunlight, but it is not always possible to spend 12 hours per day outside with the pet. At this point, UVB lamps 10.0% should be provided. It is suggested to change UV lamp at least once per year. Heating lamps should be 40-60 watt. Both lamps should be open for 12 hours.

• Base. Base layer should be at least 10 cm. It is better to use mix of hay and pressed sawdust. DO NOT USE sand or soil, because it’s not good for tortoise to be in this dust. 

You should do:

• Bath. You should give your tortoise a bath at least once per week for 30-15 minutes. (Check video on my profile for more details). Temperature should not be lower than 30 degrees celsius and not higher than 35 (use special water thermometer which you can get in baby’s section in any store). 

Why it takes so long? The thing is, that you should give your tortoise time to drink (they absorb water through skin) and also to relieve themselves. Don’t forget to change water once they did it and to dry them with soft towel after bath (✿◠‿◠)   

• Food. You DON’T have to feed your tortoise every day. As long as they are no longer in their natural habitant, (where they actually eat around once per week), they don’t walk much, but eat a lot, which can lead to obesity. With that said, it is better to give them food once in 2 or 3 days. 

What is better to feed them with? Lettuce, pumpkin, red pepper, carrots, dill, dandelions. Make mix of, for example, lettuce, pumpkin and carrots. From time to time you can treat them with apples, but be careful, don’t give too much, otherwise it will lead to gastric problems. Make sure all foods are warm (not right from the fridge)!

NEVER FEED TORTOISE WITH HUMAN FOOD (milk, cheese, meat, bread, whatever else you can find on your table). Tomatoes and cabbages are also BAD for them.     

• Cut nails and beak. Since you’ve noticed your tortoise has nails that give it hard times moving, or a beak that does not allow it to eat, means that it’s time to cut it a bit. Usually there is no need to cut a beak in couple of years and you are supposed to cut nails once in about half of the year. Often there is no need to cut a beak if you feed your tortoise right, but if you think it’s too big, it is suggested to do so.

Helpful videos on how to cut nails and beak (sorry, there are no good videos in English):



If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, ask a vet for help _〆(。。)

• Go for a walk. In summer, when the temperature is higher than 20 celsius, it is good to take your tortoise for a walk, so it can enjoy real sun and eat some fresh plants. But be careful and don’t lose your pet ʘ︵ʘ

More important things:

• Tortoise SHOULD NOT go into hibernation. Even though in their natural habitant they do, while living in captive they should be active all year round! If they will sleep in wintertime it might be dangerous for their health. 

If you noticed your tortoise wants to go into hibernation, try to give it a bath more often (like 3 times per week).

• DO NOT color their shells and DO NOT smear it with anything.

• Try to keep them away from contact with other animals, so as it gives tortoise lots of stress. 

• Vets don’t always know how to treat tortoises properly, so it is better to double check on the internet if you got any suggestions or if you got any medication prescribed to your tortoise.

I hope it was helpful, and don’t hesitate to ask questions if you have any ◕ ◡ ◕

tagged by @ingvartsen to do this !! thanks reni

  • name: renata
  • nickname: ren 
  • height: 163cm
  • ethnicity:peruvian lol
  • favourite fruit(s): mango, passion fruit n strawberry
  • favourite season: winter bc here it’s not super cold but also not hot ygm
  • favourite book(s): im basic but i love animal farm
  • favourite flower(s): daffodils and sunflowers
  • favourite animal(s): cats, tortoises and turtles
  • favourite beverage(s): really cold water ?? strawberry lemonade
  • favourite fictional character(s): dana scully, michael scott, legolas
  • number of blankets you sleep with: two .. maybe three
  • dream trip: anywhere lmao ive only been to the us
  • blog created: this january

i tag: @saturnz-barz @beetlebum1997 @nes-duh @nathanstccker @starsshaped uhh n anyone else that wants 2 do it