#MyParentsAreLosers - Batmom x Batfam
I couldn’t bring myself to write a “depressed Batmom” story today, and I really wanna write it well and all so…here’s a silly thing for you, to “wait” for an actual story. Warning : it’s stupid and not greatly written, probably a bit of a mess (I wrote that in three days, with 5 minutes available each day to do it so yeah…messy) This was requested (anonymously), a story about the Batboys introducing Batmom and Bruce to Instagram and Snapchat, but I can’t find the original message anymore so…Here, if you read this anon’, I hope you’ll like it :-) (I hope all of you guys will like it) :
My masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com
It’s Alfred who discovered it.
He read it in the Gotham Daily (neither you nor Bruce ever had time to read any newspapers, besides, both of you were getting a bit tired about the fact that almost every “news” was about you and him…).
As he was reading the article, for the first time in years, Alfred let it go. Thanks God he was alone in the house that day, as he bursted out in a loud and ridiculous laughter !
It made him laugh for hours, in fact (Damian and Tim coming home from school ruining his fun), and oh he had to tell you guys but…his majordome ways kept him from plainly coming to you and outright telling you.
At first, he tried to leave the actual article in places you could see it.
On the kitchen counter, for example, while you took your breakfast…But you never paid attention to anything before your third cup of coffee, even if it was right there in front of you, and by then Bruce would have joined you and you and him would be too focused on each other to realize that this damn article was on the kitchen counter !! AND OH MY GOD COULD YOU STOP KISSING AND LOOK AT THIS DAMN PIECE OF PAPER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU ?! But it was too late, your kids were coming in and your focus would slightly shift from Bruce to them, the article would fall into the Oblivion as you just completely ignored it while doing your traditional conversation with your family. It was an old routine Alfred knew by heart.
He tried to put it in the bathroom, and found it soaked and teared…It was something, really, how you and Bruce could be so observant sometimes, and yet so blind some others.
He also tried the bed, laying it on your pillow where he’d be sure you’d find it…But the day he did that, Bruce came home early from patrol and you rushed upstairs rather fast and…Alfred found the sticky and…oh he’d rather not think about it, and just imagined that you guys were very sweaty when sleeping and…Let’s just never mention that episode ever again.
He put it on the computer in the Batcave, and found it, days later, under Bruce’s seat. How did it got there ? He had no idea, but what was sure is that the greatest detective in the World, the Goddamn Batman, didn’t notice that stupid piece of paper RIGHT ON HIS KEYBOARD !
His last resort was the library, where you spend most of your free times when the boys and Bruce weren’t around…He placarded it everywhere, putting it in every single books you were most likely to read that day and…What did you do ? Enter the damn library reading something already, so of course you didn’t pay attention to any of the articles, and you even used a few articles as bookmarks…Oh dear…
Alfred decided that it was time to stop trying to be subtle (though he could admit that his poor attempts at making you read this particular newspaper articles weren’t really “subtle”).
He gave up one morning, after three weeks of trying to make you guys read that damn article, and just shoved it in your face, right in front of the cup of coffee you were about to drink, so that you just HAD to read it.
“The children of the Wayne households post a series of pictures of their parents, and it goes viral” was the title of it.
It was early in the morning, and it took you a while before starting to understand what was happening.
To understand that your sons apparently kept posting pictures on the internet, of you and Bruce, with the caption (or “hashtag” as they called it) : #MyParentsAreLoosers, followed by the sentence “But I still love them”.