really just making this for myself~

PSA

 Hey, guys. I’m so sorry it’s been so long, life just sort of took over since last Christmas and now I find myself ridiculously behind on drafts. I’ve taken a look and I’ve just decicded that I simply can’tanswer all the drafts. It’s making me stressed out and I don’t want it to end up motivating me to leave tumblr.

So, I’ve made a decision. I really want to stay on tumblr and keep writing, but I just can’t with the number of drafts I have. So I’m starting again. I’m going to delete all my drafts (aside from those which I have queued) and start from scratch.

This is not my way of trying to tell you I don’t want to write with you. If I have replies outstanding for you, get in touch with me so we can start something new! If we’ve never written together and you would like us to, now is the perfect time to ask! I don’t want to cut down on the number of people I write with. I just need to start with new, fresh threads!

Thank you for your understanding while I get myself all sorted out and kick my muses into place!

(Just gonna tag those people I know I have a lot of threads with.)

@dxspereaux @duncancully @chaoticvictors @alotofweirdthinking @peppersaltandburn

anyways a bad habit is taking pics of yourself and sending them / uploading them and whenever anyone compliments you you just denying every compliment
its a really bad form of behaviour because for one thing it benefits no one in any way, youre only making yourself feel worse and either driving the other person away or forcing them to say nice things about you
and its a path ive been down and seeing people do it nowadays they always seem to be bad people and i was a bad person back when i did that shit too and just like. why would you even do that ? someones going out their way to give you a compliment and yr just like. ‘nah yr wrong’.. like that can hurt some people..
so like……. dont do that shit. its bad. please break that habit before it only makes things worse okay

I was feeling a bit low/rubbish and my head was being a right poop, but I managed to pick myself up off of the floor (literally) and walked down the garden to pick some raspberries. It’s crazy how much little things like this can help. I am still feeling a bit fragile but I am learning that that is okay.

Take care of yourselves, it really is okay to feel fragile, and distant/disconnected from life at times; your feelings and emotions, whatever they are, are very real and valid. Give yourself time, healing doesn’t happen overnight, just make sure to keep putting one food in front of the other. You will get there, keep going.

McHanzo week 2017 day 4

*McHanzo Week 2017 *
*Red//Blue*


*-Disclaimer- THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I tried my best
and it might be trash but its my trash. I don’t really write stories and
you may spot some grammar and spelling errors. I could have just drawn a
picture but I wanted to go all out and try to challenge myself to make
digital art, fanfiction, and traditional art for McHanzo week since it
means a lot to me.*

~Red~

At WatchPoint Gibraltar Jesse McCree was just sitting at the edge of the
cliff just taking in the few. He started to think of a certain archer who
set his heart a sore. He thought back to all the moment he had with the
archer. Jesse knew that this cruse developing for the archer would only
lead to trouble. Jesses mind wondered off to a fantasy land where he
confessed his love for the Hanzo and to be accepted with similar feelings
on his end. He sighed and looked up at the sky with its shades of yellow,
orange, and red. Red. That color Red, meant a lot of this…mainly love.
Jesse was just full of it, he new that an outlaw like him didn’t deserve if
but with the couples he’d seen and the people he met…everyone deserves
love. He looks down to his bottle of whiskey he had been holding and chugs
the rest of it down. Jesse let’s out a sigh enjoying the rough feeling the
whiskey left in this throat. “Maybe I’ll tell him… one day” Jesse
chuckled a bit.

~Blue~

* sentences that have ’ < is in Japanese

It was 3:00 am, way to late for the eldest
Shimada to be awake. Hanzo shook his head as he wondered around Watchpoint.
A certain cowman was on his mind. He couldn’t figure out why. Hanzo hoped
the walk would soothe his mind and stop focusing on McCree so much. He was
getting overwhelmed as the thoughts continued getting more and more
“disturbing”. “I can not let myself fantasize about him, Jesse is just a
friend” he scorn himself. Hanzo’s arm started to glow bright blue and his
dragons unwounded themselves from his arm and appeared in a smaller form
rather then their typical fearsome and giant dragons. ‘What are you doing
here’ Hanzo said in confusion.
'Why do you deny your feeling? You know it is true but you continue to put
up a wall and stubbornly ignore it. We both know the rumors are true and
that gunslinger has feelings for you. It’s time to stop running and go to
him’ The dragon Soba explained. Hanzo took a moment to figure out what
next. He took a deep breath and decided that-

(To Be Continued)
There is a part three called Purple. Just comment down bellow if your
interested in actually reading more.

2

sometimes i like to tool around in GIMP and make mediocre wallpapers and icons for myself and since i kinda like how these two came out, i figured i’d share them in case anyone else wants to use them for anything

i doubt anyone would but if you want to use them for your blog or something, that’s fine but please send me an ask just so i can see how it looks! (if you just use them for your computer you don’t have to but please consider liking and/or reblogging)

link to full-size versions (1440x900)

anonymous asked:

hey jack u havent posted in a while and i was wondering if ur ok, but otherwise i hope ur doing well and that you have a good day today!

hi! its very sweet that you noticed i was gone and wanted to check on me, so thank you for that!

honestly, for the past few months, i’ve been in a pretty bad place mentally, and even physically. i still am, too! i’ve been having a lot of trouble at work, which has basically led to a complete feeling of dissatisfaction with my life. i feel very lonely and isolated from the world around me, and i’ve come to really understand just how little value i have as a person. i’m continuously throwing myself into positions that make me miserable, and since i have few talents or skills to speak of, and since i never went to college, there seems to be no way out of that.

it doesn’t really help that i really do not have friends, either, and that my job requires me to do hard labor completely alone. the helpless, pained feeling that my job gives me every single day has done a good job of amplifying my issues with self worth, to the point i feel very little happiness these days. i haven’t been on tumblr because… well, i’m just indifferent to everything now. it doesn’t make much of a difference whether i’m here or not, with how worthless i feel in general

plus, ive been in a lot of physical pain lately, thanks to the hard labor and expectations placed on me by my bosses

anyways, i’ve been renewing my efforts to move to a better place, as of late. there is a very high likelihood of me moving to savannah in the near future, but i’m still concerned about how i’ll be paying for the move after a month or two. a new struggle with my job: for the past three weeks, i’ve only been scheduled to work a total of 36 hours (12 hours each week, and while it does alleviate a lot of the pain and mental strain i was experiencing, its nothing i can survive off of), which doesn’t help me much in my quest of saving up money. i’ve saved up what i could, but all in all, i don’t think i’d be able to afford more than a couple months of rent like this. moving out of this isolated space im in would do amazing things for me, especially since i love savannah, but it seems like yet another thing that’s just out of my reach

so, that’s. kind of an update for me. i’m sure you weren’t asking for a sob story, so i apologize for that. but i figured i could at least let you guys know where im at, and where ive been

love you all, have a good night

2

isak + raising his eyebrows in wonder during the 5:10 kisses.

What I really like about bnha so far is that I thought at first it was a little cheapened by the fact that Izuku ended up getting a quirk instead of proving that he can be a hero without one, but in the end he’s so heavily restricted by it, at least at first, that he does so much stuff with just his own wit? I especially loved his ingenuity in the race during the sport’s festival, or when he figured out that he can get by using only the flick of a finger to minimize damage.  It’s by no means a brute strength quirk when it’s in his hands.

Nonbinary people with unsupportive family members are so strong and valid! I admire them every day. It’s hard not to have your family behind you, but their lack of understanding, their disapproval, in no way diminishes the validity of your identity, and you still and always will deserve for that identity to be respected.

The white road

I am 24 when my doctor tells me that I was abused. She doesn’t tell me what happened to me, or plant any memories that weren’t already there. She takes what I have told her and she puts it all inside those six letters, that one word.

Before she takes my memories and gives me that word, I tell her that I have made the appointment because I want to know why I can’t stand being touched. I tell her that I’m 24 and I’m sick of flinching when shop assistants hand me my change, just in case their fingers brush against my palm and there is that fire again, the one that rushes up from my bone to the membrane of my skin any time it comes into contact that I wasn’t expecting. I tell her that I have been trying to do this properly, from dating to everything else, and it’s like I’m blocked. It’s like I’m missing a piece of myself that makes me an adult, or perhaps even a human, and I don’t know where it’s gone.

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he’s not that man...

Because I need Emma to believe, in her heart, that Killian would never leave her…and I need her to fight to get him back.


There’s not enough vodka in the world to warm the ice running through her veins, but she’d gone along, let herself try to seek some comfort from her mother and Regina. It hadn’t worked. She knew it wouldn’t, but the walls of her big empty house were closing in on her with every breath she took and she’d just needed to get out. The bar had felt infinitely worse, full of concerned looks and shady bartenders, making her feel itchy in her own skin. 

She should have just come here sooner. With each step she’s taken closer to the water she’s felt her own intuition grow stronger, more sure that something just isn’t right. Snow had told her that the Jolly Roger was still here, but seeing it now, empty and quiet, the holes her vulnerability had ripped into her heart suddenly feel smaller. Not mended, but less penetrable. 

He wouldn’t leave. Not her. Not his ship. Not Storybrooke without saying a word. He loves her. He loves her so much that he was willing to rip out his own memories before hurting her, a misguided act to be sure, but brought out by the depth of a love defined as true. Not just by the Gods or whatever it is that deems love as true, but by the totality of everything that they have been through. They’ve fought for every moment they’ve had together and she knows he wouldn’t just walk away from this latest battle.

Something is wrong. So wrong that she wants to scream at herself for wasting an entire day thinking she’d been abandoned, letting herself fall back into a past life where the man she loves would hurt her with such a cowardly act. Killian is not that man. Not now, not ever. He makes mistakes, sure, but he would never abandon her. Immediately, she feels guilt surround her like a storm cloud, at her own thoughts, her own unwillingness to fight. 

Digging her fingers into her coat pocket she pulls out Liam’s ring by the chain it’s thread through, the red stone catching the light overhead as she rolls it between her gloved fingertips. That feeling she’d had at home when she found it, when she’d first realized Killian had left it behind, it hits her with a renewed force. He gave her that ring in hopes of saving her soul, believing it could somehow keep her safe from the darkness. He’d asked her to come back to him.

She’s going to use it now to bring him back home.

Regina picks up her call on the second ring, but Emma doesn’t event waste a second on niceties.

“Regina, we need to do a locator spell. Now. Meet me at the docks.”