there’s a free app called color calendar i use where you rate your days based on colors that coordinate with awesome, good, neutral, bad, and horrible. it helps put into perspective how many good days u have and makes u reflect on ur day, helping u realize one small event doesn’t ruin it all and ur life isn’t as bad as u might think 💖
I’m an aspiring novelist. I’m currently in the process of trying to complete and publish my first book, which will be a modern retelling of Edgar Allen Poe’s Annabel Lee, about the trials that two teenage boys face falling in love in an early time period. As an LGBT writer, I want to create more stories with diversity and representation available for teens and young adults.
I need to gain support, for this book. It seems a little silly to ask, but this will never become a thing unless there is a real following and genuine interest for the story. I was told that gaining interest on social media is the best and most efficient way to start my career and make a living from this.
Truly, this will NOT be able to happen without tremendous support from all of my followers, as well as anyone who wants to support diversity in young adult literature and young, aspiring authors.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, if you are at all interested in reading, knowing more about, or supporting me and this story, LIKE AND REBLOG this post. Gaining a following is one of the biggest and most important steps in gaining the momentum needed to self publish or to get a decent publisher, and any support, whether it is liking or reblogging this post OR following my blog, it would be IMMENSELY helpful.
Tumblr has always shown momentous support when it’s been needed, and I would really, really appreciate anyone who is willing to help get this jump started. I will be posting excerpts, updates, and recording my experience as it happens, as well as continuing my regular prompt filling that I do now.
Thank you SO much in advance, and please feel free to send me an ask if you’re interested in learning more!
Steven Universe characters and their favorite ice cream flavors
[work in progress]
Amethyst: The ice cream evangelist of the group, has got both Peridot and Lapis into the stuff. She doesn’t really have a favorite flavor (and has eaten the ice cream scoop a few times.) If pressed she might say chocolate chip cookie dough. She claims to be baking the dough pieces into tiny cookies in her tummy. Huge fan of unconventional toppings.
Pearl: Doesn’t like to eat, but says her favorite flavor is vanilla. If you suggest in any way that this is a boring choice: brace yourself for a lecture on how vanilla is the only flavoring derived from an orchid, with bonus editorializing on the things humans do to acquire exotic spices.
Garnet: Ginger ice cream, the kind with real pieces of fresh ginger. It’s spicy and cool at the same time.
Lapis: Will say her favorite flavor is blue RAZZberry and make a fart noise sound effect. This slays Amethyst every time. (She’s actually more of a sorbet and gelato fan, really does love fresh berries.)
Peridot: Can’t really eat, but desperately wants to impress Amethyst. Takes her ice cream in a dish, not a cone, because it’s less likely to make a mess while she pushes it around with a spoon. Thinks she might like pistachio.
Steven Universe: Thinks that all ice cream flavors are wonderful and special and deserve to be appreciated. But nothing compares to the ice cream filling of a Cookie Cat sandwich. With Connie’s help, sometimes he attempts to replicate a similar product with soft chocolate cookies and vanilla and strawberry ice cream filling.
Imagine walking into hacker!Woozi’s room and finding him asleep on his chair with his head rested on his messy desk. You pick up his jacket that was mindlessly thrown to the floor a few hours ago and carefully drape it over his slumped torso. Before quietly making your exit, you place a gentle kiss on the top of his head, making sure to not wake him up whilst doing so.
1. I love making fake subs. I really do, even though they take me hours to make. But seeing them being disrespectfully reposted outside of tumblr so many times has really pissed me off to the point where I’m this close to stopping the series altogether.
2. However, I’ve gotten so many nice messages about this series and they seem to make you guys happy so I want to keep doing them.
3. SO IF YOU LIKE THESE SUBS AND WANT THEM TO CONTINUE, I have a request from the ARMY Fandom:
- if you see these being reposted, tell me. - also msg the reposter and ask them to take it down. - REBLOG THIS AND SPREAD THE WORD.
Until i see none of my posts reposted on twitter i wont be making these again
A/N: classic gif is classic. Wrote this months ago. Enjoy!
“So I’ve just left the airport and I’m now driving back to the old flat and it’s weird as much as I loved being back in warm America I missed chilly London. Anyway this probably won’t be the best piece of the vlog diary, since I’m already jetlagged and no one’s even home.” I stopped talking but let the video record until I reached a red light and stopped the capture. Sighing, I turned down familiar roads as I made my way from Heathrow. Luckily traffic wasn’t as bad today, so I wouldn’t have to spend an hour sitting even more. In fact, I was already pulling off the freeway and heading east. My phone buzzed, and I saw Dan had texted.
You almost here? Phil’s out and I’m bored.
His message was signed with the little green frog emoji. I shook my head in annoyance but felt surprisingly giddy. I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in almost two weeks. I saw our flat, and finally pulling into a space around the block, I parked my car and started recording again.
“So, Dan just texted me and said he’s home and bored, of course, so maybe we’ll go out later when Phil gets back. For now..” I pulled the camera from it’s little hands free holder, “let’s finally go home.”
I kept it recording though I placed my camera down to open the trunk and grab my suitcase. Locking my car and pulling out my keys, I opened the door to our space. Mindful of neighbors, I crept quietly upstairs. I couldn’t hear anything on the television and the entire floor seemed empty. I placed my suitcase in the living room to deal with later. I also shed my jacket and headed for Dan’s room.
Walking in, I saw him. He was lounging in bed with his computer right to his chest, absorbed in something. He looked up when I opened his door though, and put his computer to the side to stand up. I set the camera down on his dresser and walked toward him. He reached me before I reached him, and suddenly one arm was around my waist and the other held my face and he was kissing me. And I mean kissing me. Whenever I pulled back he pushed forward, keeping us locked together. My arms came up and around his neck, fingers running through his wavy hair. His hand trailed up my back, pulling at the hem of my shirt. I pulled my face away. “Dan,” he kissed me again. “Dan! Let me-let me-” I stepped back from him and turned, racing toward his dresser.
“Let me stop the capture!”
Later we were curled on the couch. I had on one of his shirts and we were underneath a blanket browsing the internet on our respective devices. “I’ve got to finish the vlog,” I said tiredly. My voice had a distinct scratch to it, evident of the wild ‘I missed you’ sex we’d finished just an hour before. “No you don’t,” Dan murmured into my hair, something I loved. “Just say you forgot an outro and leave a slide of text or something.” His voice sounded a little rough too, not that I had a problem with it. “No I wouldn’t do that to the fans. It’ll be a quick little thing, plus I’m sure they want to see you.” I was already turning the camera on.
“Hello!!” Dan said while plopping his chin on my shoulder. I felt his hands wind around my waist.
“So I’m officially home! Yaaay! And I’m wide awake because I’m 5 whole hours behind yay. Anyway, we’re currently waiting on Phil to come home from shopping and errands, then we’re off to eat something later.”
“Which is special because Phil and I only leave the house about once a year.”
I giggled and smacked Dan’s cheek softly. His phone buzzed and he checked it.
“Speaking of everyone’s favorite clumsy youtuber, Phil’s just messaged me. He said-oh my god I cannot read that for your video!” Dan laughed and nearly fell over. I picked up his phone and read the text, laughing as well and knowing I couldn’t read it either. “Oh my fucking god, Phil!” I was dying.
His text had read: You two done with the welcome home sex yet?
I responded with a yes and then finished up the vlog.
“Well that’s the end of my travel/America vlog diary! I hope you enjoyed it! Like and subscribe and share this video, it really helps me out! I love you guys, and I’ll see you all next time!”
“Bye!” Dan cut in and then started kissing my cheek obnoxiously, making me squeal. “Stop!!” I laughed and ended the capture. Quickly, I slid my SD card in and imported the footage. I simply leafed through the material I’d captured coming home from the airport and from what we just shot. Dan looked over my shoulder, just watching me work.
“You keeping that in?” He pointed to the video of us kissing. Though our faces were pretty obscured, you could definitely hear us, including lip smacking and a little whine that came from one of us. Not to mention you could see Dan lift my shirt. “As avid readers and lovers of fanfiction I think we should keep it in. But…” I scrolled over to effects and blurred the footage, then I added a giant text box and typed in CENSORED. “…we’ll tease the viewers.” Dan chuckled in some form of agreement behind me. “Sure.” I kept everything else in, including the kiss attack at the end, knowing the fans would love it.
Dan and I got ready to go out while the video rendered and uploaded, only getting distracted once. The soapy, slippery wetness of the shower was something we couldn’t resist. By the time we dressed, I tweeted out about my upload, and Phil walked in the door.
Hours later, following a great dinner with my best friends, I was sitting next to Dan, wide awake at an ungodly hour. I knew he was aimlessly scrolling through tumblr, and I started checking the comments. What I saw made me smile.
They’re so fucking adorable
Omg that censored part? You know they did…something.
Phil knows what’s up.
THE KISSING AT THE END! DAN!!!!!
Literally they’re goals.
“What are you grinning at, dork?” I leaned over, held his face and pecked him softly. “Nothing. I’m just happy I’m home.” Dan smiled and bumped his forehead against mine. “Yeah, we needed someone to cook around here.” I smacked his chest, and we both laughed.
And finally, the last two campers of the TDI crew!! Dang, this took forreverrrr to make, but I’m proud by how far I’ve come through. Thanks to all the nice comments you guys put in the tags, it really helped me out!! :DD
Your Faking it, You're going through a phase, You're really gay on the inside
Help me out guys, can I have some help from the rest of the LGBT community?
Lesbians and Gays:
No we are gonna side with the straight people on this one, oh also don't come to our pride rallies if you're with a person of the opposite gender. You just aren't gay enough honey. Also we may suspect that you are just experiementing so take your time and your sexuality is probably invalid
(obvi this is not all lesbians and gays but there is a large number of people within the LGBTQ+ community that are very anti bisexual.)
So if you guys remembered, I showed you my alois cosplay a few weeks ago. I’ve been getting into cosplay a lot more and want to share my content on here but sadly, I’m not getting the money I need to do this. I really want to share my content with you all but cosplay costs a crap ton of money that I don’t have. Anyways. I was wondering if I made a patreon would you guys help me out? I’m not sure how it works but I have heard a lot about it. I want to be able to share more content out into the world but I need your help to do so.
Thank you to everyone who DM’d me and who sent such nice things in my inbox. Please tell me your thought on the whole thing!!!! I love you guys AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 18,000 FOLLOWERS!!!??!!?! AH
Okay, so, I’ve always had a lot of trouble with organizing and managing my time. When I was 12, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I was recommended all these strategies to make the workload easier. Not much of it worked then, but over the past year or so, I’ve found strategies that have really helped me, and I wanted to list it out for you guys, in case it may end up helping some of you out, too. Obviously, this list isn’t just for people with ADHD, nor is it only for those in high school. Okay here we go:
1. Get a planner
I don’t know if all schools provide one for you (mine does) so I’m making this point just in case yours doesn’t. Planners make it so much easier to organize your short and long term assignments. Also, it makes it easier to split projects up into smaller parts, because you could write out a part to do each night. Overall, it is just really helpful, and, in my opinion, pretty essential.
2. Color code
Okay so this one is really simple. Assign each class a color, and then only use that color when writing your homework for that class in your planner. That way, you can easily see what your homework for each class is. Plus, it makes your planner look pretty.
3. Clean out your binders/folders every 1-2 weeks
This will make sure that there aren’t loose papers anywhere. It also makes it lighter, because you’ll be taking out unnecessary or old stuff, and that’ll make it easier on your back when you carry your backpack.
4. Use online study resources
Quizlet is super helpful if you need to study vocabulary. I recommend watching crash course on YouTube, however not as your only means of studying. It really is great review (even though sometimes they talk super fast and you have to pause the video and go back).
5. Get a calendar
Similar to the planner, calendars help you organize your long term assignments. I have a whiteboard calendar, and I use colorful dry erase markers to write test dates, assignment due dates, field trips, etc.. I also write my extracurricular activities on there. It just overall really helps you get organized with school, and also your life outside of school.
6. Study hard and then reward yourself
After 45 minutes or so of studying, try rewarding yourself with a 15 minute break. Get a snack, watch some YouTube videos, kill a person, whatever suits your fancy. Just make sure that after those 15 minutes, you get back to work.
7. Have a designated area for doing work
Whether it be a desk, a kitchen table, a sex dungeon, etc., having an area designated for your work is really helpful because you can keep your assignments all in one place. This makes it so you can keep track of everything.
8. Get good pencils
This one is going to sound weird, but it works. I only like using pencils with 0.7 lead. I don’t know why, but I find that it’s so much easier to write neatly with them. Just find the pens/pencils that feel the best, and use those.
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
This one is super important. If you have a question or need help, it is critical that you go and ask your teacher. I know it can be scary, but it will help you out so much in the long run. Just remember, teachers are there to help you. A lot of teachers like seeing students come in for extra help, because it shows your engaged in the class or something like that. Idk all I know is that it’s a good thing to do.
I hope some of you guys found this helpful! I know a lot of these points were sort of a repeat of what a lot of people say, but I felt that they were important to include. Feel free to add other points on here if you’d like!
Let me tell you about the best night of my life.
I stood in the freezing ass cold for an hour to be in the front of the line to make my way to the meet and greet asap. I met Will Ospreay; he was so extremely polite and his accent of course is wonderful. Cody is extremely handsome. He looks fake. He was also very very sweet. And then my boys, so so so so nice to me. This is how it went:
They asked my name so they could sign the photo and I said “I gotta say thank you to you guys, 2 weeks ago I tweeted you both about how I’m suffering from depression and how you guys make me laugh and put me in such a great mood…”
Nick: “aww, yes I remember you!”
Matt: “we’re very happy we can help you out. And you’re very welcome.”
Me: I really appreciate you guys reaching out to me. It meant a lot. Yea just every time Nick trips over the second rope I lose it. Really, thanks for doing what you do. It always makes me so happy.“
Both: No hey, thank you so much for watching and supporting us. Come on around let’s get you these belts
*slap superkick party title on my shoulder*
Nick: this ones slightly more heavy
*slap roh tag title on my other shoulder*
*takes pictures, Bucks proceed to thank me literally 10 times in a row*
I tweet my picture to them after the show, and thank them again and tell them they made me laugh again and Nick says: nice meeting you!!
I needed this day so damn bad and mostly I typed all this to keep it in my memory but holy crap, I’m so grateful.
reblog if you want to help me craft a message to my crush!!
i’m seriously crushing on my best friend. as i’m sure most of you already know, my friend tried to find out if he likes me back, but that kinda didn’t really work, so i’m going to take matters into my own hands. i’m probably going to wait a week or so just so he isn’t like #suspitches about her text and mine at the same time, but i have a text ready to send to tell him how i feel. of course, however, i’m really insecure! so i’d love you guys to help me out a bit. if this gets 25 notes, i’ll post my message on tumblr for you guys to help me make perfect!!
Currently reviewing information for my AP World exam this Thursday! 😕 I have to finish 2 review packets and 2 DBQs before Wednesday… On the bright side, I find that active reading really helps me retain info, I suggest you guys try it out!
(Y/N) and Daveed are rival aspiring recording artist trying to make it big in the hood. But, Daveed is also a drug dealer to make money and pay his rent. (Y/N) is a dancer for music videos on the side.
AU: Inner City/ Hood Au
Warnings: Cursing, Sexual Clipping. Lyrics, Sexual humor, Sexual behavior, mentioning of drugs and alcohol, use of drugs.
Word Count:2,842 (It’s a lot lovelies)
Beep beep! Beep beep!
Daveed was sprawled across his bed as his alarm went off. He groaned and rose up from his current position. He scratched his head and mindlessly turned off his alarm clock.
“Fuck….What time is it….?” He turns his head and sees that it’s already 9:30 pm. As he picked up his phone, the screen lit up with several text alerts.
Rafa- Yo, D! Are we still up for working on that song you were writing @ the studio? Groff is buying us some studio time! [8:00 am]
Ant- Daveed, do you got what I need? I’ll be there when you call. You have till 3:45 pm sharp. My boss will kill me if I don’t have it.😫[8:30 am]
Groff- You on your way? Studio opens in 15min.[9:05am]
Rafa- Also I got us a performance for an opening act at the club for some chick new to the game, but it starts at 4:30 pm! Our first gig up we gotta be there on time!![9:10]
“Shit, I’m late!”
He picks up his backpack, his pen, a little black notebook, his glasses, his phone, one bag filled with Molly, another filled with cocaine, and finally a bag filled with weed. He jumped out of his apartment window and ran five blocks to get to the studio.
As soon he got to the studio he looked across the street. Across the street, there was a rival studio that opened up. The building looked clean and modern. But in an inner city grudge way. He sees a group of girls, four girls to be exact. They all gossiped amongst themselves but one out of the four girls caught his eye. She had (H/L) (H/C) in an (H/S), her skin was a perfect (S/T) that complimented her beautiful (E/C). She was quite voluptuous and had a curvy figure. He found himself checking her out. One of her friends tapped her shoulder and pointed to Daveed.
Philippa smirked and whispered to (Y/N).
“Ya know (N/N), he’s pretty hot….” She turns around noticed that Daveed was checking her out.
“And it seems like you are his type.~” Philippa taps (Y/N). (Y/N) turns around and puts her hands on her hips. (Y/N) looks at Daveed, checking him out for a quick second. Daveed smirks and winks at her suggestively. She blushes and quickly turns away.
“H-He is pretty handsome, but he is part of Lin Star Studios. It won’t work out.” Jasmine rolls her eyes.
“You would probably bang him if he was in our studio.” Renee giggles and walks up the staircase to the door.
“C’mon girls we’re gonna be late.” Jasmine, Renee, and Philippa continue up the stairs. (Y/N) looked back at Daveed. She winks at him and blows a kiss at him. Daveed smirks and catches it. He blows a kiss back. Jasmine looks back and shouts at (Y/N).
“(N/N), you coming?”
(Y/N) shouts back, “Yea! I’m coming!”
(Y/N) runs up the stairs and waves Daveed goodbye. Daveed checks her out as she walks off. Rafa grabs Daveed’s shoulder and pulls him to look at him. Rafa punches his shoulder.
“D, where the hell have you been!?”
Daveed smiled and punches his shoulder in return.
“Late start. Couldn’t bring myself to get up. Now let’s get to the studio. I have a finished song.“
“But what the other song?”
“That one will have to take a while.”
Daveed walks into the studio and Jonathan looked at him in pure acrimony. His face was as red as a tomato.
“D!!! What the hell is up with you and being on time!”
“I was writing a song but it’s not finished.”
Rafa rolls his eyes heavily.
“You said you have 2 songs!”
“The first one is currently being on hold! I had a burst of…”
He began to think about (Y/N). Her curves, her flawless (S/T), and her (H/L) (H/C). The more he thought about the more lustful his thoughts would become he instantly came up with a song. It may have been a bit explicit but it was his first performance. Go big or go home.
Daveed sits down at his desk and instantaneously write erotic and coarse verses in his notebook. He creates a title that gives the song justice. “Hot Fuck, No Love”.
“Ayo Rafa!!! Can you make me a beat in about a half an hour?”
Rafa’s eyes widen in horror.
“Thirty minutes!?! D, I know you can rush when you get inspiration but this is insane!”
“I’m a busy guy and we need this done quick! This is the opening act for tonight’s show.”
“Alright D, I’ll try! But no promises it’s gonna be in 30 minutes on the dot!”
Daveed smiles as he walks into the recording studio and he puts on his headphones.
Jasmine, Philippa, and (Y/N) Walk out the dance studio sweating and practically gasping for air. They were working on the choreography for (Y/N)’s first ever show as a recording artist. Philippa choreographed it, and Jasmine added some finishing touches to make the dance as clean and attractive as possible.
“Damn that choreo took us forever.” Philippa wiper several beads of sweat off her forehead. She takes a quick sip from her water bottle and sighs in relief.
Jasmine sat down in a seat in the break room.
“You’re telling me! Besides, you made the choreo to easy and childish. (Y/N) is now 22, Remember? She’s a grown woman! She should be able to choreo that’s a bit more complex and….Explicit~”
(Y/N) sighs in relief and giggles.
“Thanks for helping me out girls it really means a lot to me! You guys are experienced artist taking time out of your day to help me out!”
Philippa smiles and Jasmine gets up and hugs her.
“But we are also your best friends,” Jasmine stated with a smile.
“And best friends are always there for each other!”
Philippa piggybacked on what Jasmine said with a kind smile that caused her cheeks to become rosy. She checks her watch and sighs.
“Hey, Jasmine! We gotta go! We can’t be late for studio time! The song is due tomorrow!!”
Jasmine quickly gets up and runs to the studio.
“Well, what are we waiting for let’s go!! See ya (Y/N)! Your first ever session starts in 10 minutes! Don’t be late!”
“Trust me I won’t! See ya!”
(Y/N) boils some water in a kettle on a hot plate to make herself some tea. Renee walks up to her with two mugs and honey for their tea.
“Hey (N/N), how is your performance set coming along? You’ve been working on that for weeks!”
“It’s going well…Well..I guess…I’m just really nervous!! It’s my first ever performance with the first songs I’ve ever written!!! None of them were recorded yet! I mean what if I fuck up the tempo! What if the tracks get lost! And don’t get me started on the choreo!!”
Renee giggles and puts her hand on her shoulder. She looks into her eyes and smiles.
“(Y/N), listen to me. I recommended you for a reason. You are extremely talented and pretty experienced on the mic for a fresh out of the hood artist with no training. And your singing voice is just to die for. The R&B and Hip Hop game alike need more females like you! You will do great! Now drink your tea and get in the recording studio! You gotta record your songs before you perform, honey! Also, you have to go shopping with Jazzy right after! Remember we have a schedule!”
(Y/N) smiles. Renee was always there for her when it came to her music. They were close ever since they were kids. She always knew what to say.
She pours her piping hot water into her cup and makes her tea.
“I think I’m ready to record my first ever set, Renee!”
“That’s what I’m talking about, (N/N)! Let’s get in the studio!”
“Alright, Alright!!! What’s up party people!?”
The club was packed and the crowd goes wild as while the MC rallies the crowd up! Young women and men are screaming for Daveed. Some were chanting his name, others were saying things that you probably shouldn’t say in public. Talent scouts came to the club for Rising Stars night. Once a week aspiring recording artist who were trying to make it big would perform a set that contains 6 songs. They were looking for young men and women between the ages of 17-25 who can sing, and/or rap their hearts out and who age well.
Luckily, Daveed and (Y/N) fit the criteria.
Daveed just turned 24 about month ago but he was writing verses since he was 18 years old. He would rap along to gangsta rap songs as a kid. He looks a fairly young and had an amazing body.
(Y/N) just turned 22 about a month and a half ago. As a birthday present, she got a top of the line laptop with music creating software and a notebook for songwriting. She has been singing since she was 4 years old and dancing since she was 6. She looks like she is still 18 and is extremely curvy.
Rafa took out his computer as he walked over to Daveed with the file for the instrumental open.
Daveed walks into the stage and waved at the crowd. Jasmine smirked and pointed on stage.
“Ayo, (Y/N)! Your boyfriend is the opening act. It must be a good sign!~ You better bring it tonight!”
(Y/N) blushed as Daveed walked onstage stopping at up center stage. He turned around and sees (Y/N). He winks at her and smirks.
Daveed began to think about (Y/N ) again while he was on stage. He thought of the lustful inspiration that drove him to create his song. He breathed in and looked up at the crowd. He began to rap his first of the verse of his song.
“Finger on the button.
That Cold War threat.
Finger on the button.
Got that lover in a cold sweat.”
Some members of the audience were in awe at the fact he could rap, other were bumping and grinding up against the person next to them. Talent scouts were taking notes on Daveed. He continued to perform and he turned his head to (Y/N)’s direction. He sees her dancing, swaying her hips in a hypnotic motion. He smirks and walks off, still rapping but is staring (Y/N) dead in eyes. Like a lion looking at his mate.
“Your loving on such and such
And so what is love?
It’s just a frame of mind
And boxed in by sex,”
His hands trace (Y/N)’s curves and hold on her hips as they swayed from behind her. Her hands wrapped his neck as she swayed her hips back and grinds up against him. His lips brushed up against her ear as he continued to rap. His tone changed to seductive and flirtatious.
And the single is intoxicating
And all the waiting and masturbating
The dick is chafing
Where’s the lotion?~”
As his performance came to a close, he walked back up onto the stage. As the outro of the song, rolled in he walked off the stage winking at (Y/N).
Jasmine and Renee are giggling and teasing (Y/N) [Who is currently red in the face] while Philippa does her makeup.
“Soo…(Y/N)….And Daveed… ~”
Renee chuckles at the thought and (Y/N) blushes and sighs.
“It was probably just for show.”
“Or it’s a good luck charm from the sex gods” Jasmine chimes in, giggling.
Philippa rolls her eyes.
“You guys are such children. Let’s just focus on the gig for now. When we get to (Y/N)’s place to chill, we can talk about Daveed, the god of rap and sex. Alright?”
Philippa had a smirk as she finished (Y/N)’s makeup and addressed the girls.
The MC began to speak again as (Y/N) walked towards the stage. Daveed passed (Y/N) whispered in her ear.
“Good luck, beautiful~”
“Introducing, (Y/N) (L/N)!!!”
She walked on stage while she received at cat calls from Daveed, other men and some women in the crowd. Several teens who snuck in the club look at her in awe. She took a deep breath and began to sing.
(The song you are singing is called Gangsta by Kehlani)
“I need a Gangsta
To love me better
Than all the others do.
To always forgive me
Ride or die with me
That’s just what gangsta’s do.”
Everyone in the audience stared at you in awe, especially Daveed. Talent scouts quickly took notes. She danced and swayed to the beat in perfect timing. She noticed Daveed’s eyes grazing over her body. She walked downstage and gets on all fours crawling across the stage towards Daveed. She gets up and bends down to be at Daveed’s eye level. (Y/N) lifted up his chin and begins to sing once again. Her voice is sweet, seductive and alluring while she sings to Daveed.
“My freakness is on the loose
And running all over you~
Please take me to places, that nobody,
You got me hooked up on the feeling!
You got me hanging from the ceiling
Got me up so high I’m barely breathing
So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me,
Don’t let me go~”
(Y/N) gets up and walks downstage and finished her first song, leaving Daveed mesmerized. Throughout (Y/N)’s set, Daveed couldn’t help but stare. He felt like he was on Molly, weed and LSD all at once ever since she looked at him and vice versa. When (Y/N) finally ended her performance, she blew a kiss at Daveed and that what got him going. His heart began to race and he felt like he was on Cloud Nine until Rafael grabbed his shoulder.
“Ayo D you did great!! The scouts look impressed.”
“Huh?! O-Oh yea! Thanks man! Wanna head back to my place? I gotta some Hennessey!”
Rafa and Daveed walked outside only to see a limo waiting for them.
A medium lengthed hair man and a dark suit walked out of the limo. The man has a kind smile.
“Lin!! What are you doin’ here?”
“I heard today was your first show from one of my people. But I’m also here for my…..Stuff.”
Lin was the most powerful and well known mafia boss in the city and Daveed was his dealer. But nobody was scared of him. He is more kind than menacing. He anonymously donates millions of dollars to orphanages and charity. He loves children and classic oldies. He was a gentle soul but if you get him pissed you better pray. He once had hired someone to kill a man since he doesn’t like blood on his hands. He owns Lin Star studios to give him a cover up.
Daveed smiles and puts his hands in his pockets.
“Yea I got your stuff but how are you gonna pay me back.”
“I’ll pay you back based on the quality and quantity. Besides I wanted to throw you a celebration for you performance. Ya know as a late birthday present from your old pal.”
“Aight, man. It’s a deal.”
Lin hands the weed to Oak and the Molly to Anthony to try. Lin rolled up a hundred dollar bill for the cocaine. The three men tried it all at once. They all nodded in approval.
“Alright…I’ll throw a party at your place, give you a ride home, unlimited studio time, and about $230 bucks.”
“Good. Now you and your friend get in the car. I may have a hella lot of money but no enough time. That unfortunately I cannot buy.”
And my shadow doesn’t follow.
I can’t even ask why
It’s so far behind me
And in a thousand different memories
I find it lurking behind the couch my dad was passed out on in the middle of the night
When I’m 3 years old and creeping down the stairs because I stayed up for him
Waiting for him to come home from work so I could run into his arms
But I guess he was too busy cuddling his bottle of whiskey to cuddle with me.
It blends in with the dark atmosphere and thumping music of that party I went to when I was 15
Those moments when I thought I was experiencing real life
Because while my friends were shooting up in the living room
I was losing my virginity to a boy whose name I wouldn’t remember in the morning.
It lies in the background when my stepbrother touched me
And I wish I could’ve screamed at it “Why aren’t you doing anything? Why aren’t you stopping it?”
But at 4 years old, I didn’t
Because how was I supposed to scream anything while my mouth was full of him?
So I stayed quiet, like the good little girl I was.
It stands outside when we had sex for the first time
It was in your car, outside my best friend’s house
And I should’ve been more open about how bad I wanted you
And it looks in on us and applauds
Because even though you finished in five minutes
It was still the first time I’d ever really felt alive
And like maybe I was wanted too.
It dives deep into the ocean, in places I wish I could get to but can never truly reach
After I’ve filled my head with more drugs and try to convince myself that I’m okay and happy-
That I’m strong enough on my own
That I don’t need anyone and I never will
But it pops back up to say “No you stupid slut, you’re drowning just like me.”
And so you ask me why I run
But how am I supposed to stay?
Because even though my shadow won’t follow me,
it’s still a part of me
And how am I supposed to move on
If part of me keeps moving backwards?