really funny jokes


Family reunion 

I feel like asexuals would make great sidekicks for pansexuals. Or pansexuals would make great sidekicks for asexuals. Really, the pansexuals could go either way.

The twins have always known that Grunkle Stan is a divorced bachelor.

Okay the context of this is actually all kinds of HILARIOUS to me.

SO. Legend of the Gobblewonker. Great episode, no matter which way you look at it. But check out this super specific scene way at the beginning of the episode:

Stan: Good morning knuckleheads! You two know what day it is?

  • Dipper: Umm… Happy Anniversary?
  • Mabel: MAZEL TOV

Stan: *proceeds to smack small child with newspaper*

Okay so inconsequential it seems to the rest of the episode but! The big thing that happened here that caught my eye was that Dipper and Mabel responded with “Happy anniversary” and “mazel tov” in relation to wondering what day it is. They could have said “Happy Birthday”, the actual day of the week, etc. So many jokes to be made! And Alex Hirsch decides to make a marriage joke.

While it technically wasn’t confirmed until Roadside Attraction, it’s always been insinuated that Stan was once married, got a divorce and is now a lonely bachelor. He makes a joke about his ex-wife in this very episode, and Hirsch himself has mentioned his ex-wife at cons. And now we know she exists! Marilyn divorced him after only 6 hours.

But… the Twins know about this. They always have known, and hell it might even be a running family joke; Stan and his 6 hour marriage.

Of course, if the twins know about it, that means this 6 hour marriage happened while Stan was not actually Stanley, but Stanford.

Stan probably married Marilyn while posing as his bro bro.

Think about this, and then think about his marriage being only 6 hours long.

“Now that we’re together, I just wanna let you know…”
“What is it, Stanford?”
“Well, that’s just the thing. Stanford isn’t my real name. I’m kinda posing as my potentially dead brother.”
“We’re getting divorced immediately.”

Guys. My school is having spirit week to celebrate homecoming. And this is Friday’s theme. I’m pretty sure someone on student council is A) an ace person with a devastating sense of humor or B) a person who does not have tumblr. lol. #subtleacepride y’all.


Welcome to parasite club. I’m your host.


When your friend makes a really bad joke


Having two cups, but grabbing the wrong one you we’re expecting.