really emotional about u!!!!!!

Today is November 20

A day and tale of a death

Last year, 2016, this was the day my girlfriend broke up with me. Which was tragic for me emotionally, as breakups tend to be with someone you love, but it was not the most pain I would get from this parting.

I was kind of close with her best friend. Two days later she pointed out my ex was on a picture on Instagram, with another girl. A girl I knew well and I considered her a friend, and this girl called her, “my girlfriend”.

I got to know by my ex’s best friend that they had been together for most of the duration of my relationship. She cheated. I was cheated on. It was, in addition to being dumped out of the blue in the first place, unbearable.

I started to question everything. I became paranoid, depressed, but also determined. I stole her best friend away, even wanted to sleep with her to make sure they wouldn’t be friends away. The pain turned into a furious anger and she was lucky she lived half a country away. I would have killed her. And my “friend” who she now was fucking, she’d be the first. I would make her suffer.

Now, I did not kill her. The next time I would meet her was in the end of December. My blood boiled as I walked away from that slut. I was the most composed as I could be.

I tried to seek something to get me distracted. I tried painting, but all my paintings were made of black and blood. I tried running, but it didn’t turn off my brain. This blog then was created, and is my coping ever since.

I don’t know if I ever will be able to think of her and not want to damage her. The girl she was with apologized and she claimed not to have contact with her anymore, so I won’t hurt her. But her, she, someday… This will be a day of death and an end to her tale.

its almost 3am so heres some of my rambling about aroace peter bc i need an aroace character that isnt shown as cold and emotionless:

ok while peter is the oldest and probably most sought after pevensie, what if he just. wasnt into that. like he makes friends and cherishes them but romance?? nah he’d rather be on the outside offering support.

it isnt that he doesnt feel love at all, its just that he doesnt feel romantic love. his heaets big and overflowing w platonic love and hes happy w that. and romance is just… exhuasting. he’d rather have a group nap w friends and family.

peter is the golden boy of the family, the strong and charismatic one, the oldest and the one w the most responsiblility. every expects him to get married and have kids but he doesnt want that. when youre a king in narnia, its easy to say no and go about your lifw, but in england. its hard. it hurts. he doesnt want ro be forced into a relationship and doesnt want to hurt the person hes stuck w bc he doesnt love them like that. but you cant really get away from it in england.

i want peter to be open and bright and feel so many things so strongly and be aroace at the same time. i want him to be strong and supportive, but without a significant other. just friends he trusts and loves and his family. i want peter to be happy as an aroace person, bc i want to believe that i can be happy too.

what’s not to love about bottom!dean though?????

  • bratty bottom!dean who’s so demanding, all grabby hands and setting the pace himself and telling his partner to ‘fuck him like he means it’ and goading him into going harder and faster
  • dean who just loves bottoming so much and is super supportive for his partner, soothing him and telling him how good he’s doing with this huge blissed out smile on his face
  • bottom!dean who loves being taken out of his headspace and into the euphoric land of prostate stimulation
  • bottom!dean who clings to his partner, hands clawing at all that warm, sweaty skin and relishing feeling so full and wanted and loved
  • giggly bottom!dean who can’t stop smiling into his partner’s mouth

Do u ever get really emotional about how Coach David Wymack is the only truly Good father figure any of the Foxes have known? And how his determination to give these kids second, third whatever chances stems from his own experience. And how he does such a fantastic job of supporting them even when the rest of the world thinks it’s a publicity stunt and wants to tear them down. Do you ever think about the guilt Wymack feels for the kids, like Seth and the ones before him, that he wasn’t enough for, that he couldn’t save. Do you think about how “none of the original Foxes’ kids would grow up to qualify for a place on the Fox team” and how Wymack is definitely an honourary grandad to those kids. Do you ever think about Coach David Wymack????

It’s funny that u guys already know how much i am in love with daniel

life and love
life and love

happy kiss day!! (well, i’m late but still)

@belovedyuuri​ i couldn’t resist actually writing a song, so here you go :) and thanks to @queenofaburiedkingdom​ for being the first listener and being such a kind friend ♥♥

lyrics and explanation under the cut!!

Keep reading

i read all the important parts of that new grrm story

i’m told a lot these days ; chapter 11

“I’m gonna go get Kovic,” Bruce is saying as they round a corner. Brett’s leading James and Joe with a hand between their shoulder blades, firm and comforting at the same time. People are staring at the two of them, covered in soot and ash and James still hiding his ruined arm in his equally ruined jacket. It seems like neither Bruce nor Brett care, or even seem to notice. “They burned down the entire fucking building, this is bullshit.”

“I’ll meet up with you after I take care of them first,” Brett tells him, and James hears it as if through a cloud. He had sort of intended his big reveal to be a bit more—dramatic, probably, is the best word for it. But Brett just steers them along, tells James that he can tell him when they’re somewhere private, somewhere that they can get cleaned up, that he can take a look at his arm. He’s already texted Trevor, he says, so Joe will be safe with him.

James wants to tell him now, while he’s still got his nerve worked up. But then he remembers the shattered look in Aleks’s eyes, remembers his words—”we’re done”—and he knows. He’s got no choice. He can muster up the nerve because he doesn’t know what else he could possibly do anymore.

[rest on ao3]

listen i drew this before i got sai so ignore that gross texture that i accidentally left on but do u remember that time i got really emotional about chapter 62 and how baz laughed and it was the best shit i’d ever read. i drew this like 1,000,000 years ago but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

do not give “smudge” tools, i have no self control


“ And you are still with me. When I breath, I will think of you, for without you I would have been dead years ago. When I wake up and when I sleep, when I lift up my hands to defend myself or when I lie down to die, you will be with me. You say we are born again. I say there is a river that divides the dead and the living. What I do know is that if we are born again, I will meet you in another life, if there is a river, you will wait on the shores for me to come to you, so we can cross together.” Will took a deep breath and let go of the knife. He drew his hand back. The cut on his palm was already healing- the result of the half dozen iratzes on his skin. 

“ You hear that, James Carstairs? We are bound, you and I, over the divide of death, down through whatever generations may come. Forever. “

i get really emotional about longtails character development sometimes bc if u told me that that jackass from into the wild who tried 2 fight firepaw for no reason would end up dying bc he was trying to get his best friend a mouse from her nest and protecting graystripe’s daughter, briarlight, i wouldnt believe u

he grew so much i think of my baby boy longtail and just


20170604 - ‘2PM 6 Nights Concert’ Day 3

real_2pmstagram :  내가 더 고마워 ♡ 핫티 
I thank you more ♡ Hottie ] ]

@.follow_2pm :  고마워 ♡ 2PM
@.follow_2pm : Thank you ♡ 2PM 

translation by 2pmalways 

random fcc:

mj: next week is our young boys’ concerts!

wy: we really thought a lot about what songs to pick, our hottest, thank you for supporting us for a long time. we will always sing for all of you who are supporting us.

mj: 2pm has a strong heart for staying together for a long time. you’ll be with us for a long time, right?

jh: these are the last concerts before we go to the army, but don’t be sad, since each of us will fill the stage individually.

cs: i’m glad that this is our destiny. i really liked spending our 20’s with all of you. once you are with us, you can’t leave! we’ll be gone for about 3 years, but you won’t leave, right? we’ll still be here, so you have to be with us, too.

nk: how are you, taecyeon?
ty: i’m tired…
nk: it’s because you’re old. we go abroad a lot, right? but we don’t get lonely because of all of you~ thank you! see you next week
ty: i haven’t said this before, but my enlistment date has come out. i pushed it back because of this concert, so this is it. i’ll be back with a bright smile. let’s wait for that day! thank you

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anonymous asked:

have you seen daniel howell's new video on depression?

YEAH DUDE. that video is what i was referencing in my last textpost where someone i admire said they have depression. i haven’t been actively in the phandom since about.. earlier this year? i literally can’t remember. maybe march? anyway i still love dan a LOT A LOT A LOT but haven’t been actively obsessed or watching all of his videos (i watch all his main ones but not the liveshows, or phil’s vids, or the gaming channel anymore bc that’s always been.. not what i wanted it to be lmao) ANYWAY basically i didn’t expect to react strongly to it because 1) i’ve always known that he’s mentally ill, even if he never said the words and 2) i’m not as obsessed w him as i was.

BUT BOY HOWDY.. THAT VID. good vid!!!!!!!!!! it really really accurately described depression. and i LOVE that he talked about the side effects of antidepressants, bc i’m actually on the same ones that he was on and they also made me gain a lot of weight. that made me feel a lot better about it, bc it’s something no one wants to talk about. i also really appreciate that he didn’t try to make it a like.. ~~inspirational~~ thing. it was very down to earth and gave practical, helpful advice.

i’m so out of practice with talking about him lol and answering anything other than mental health stuff but. yeah it was really good and i cried and i love him so much. n i just realized that this september was my 4th year anniversary of first watching his vids so shout out to 2013 me for picking someone that i still admire in 2017 (a rare feat)