Today is November 20
A day and tale of a death
Last year, 2016, this was the day my girlfriend broke up with me. Which was tragic for me emotionally, as breakups tend to be with someone you love, but it was not the most pain I would get from this parting.
I was kind of close with her best friend. Two days later she pointed out my ex was on a picture on Instagram, with another girl. A girl I knew well and I considered her a friend, and this girl called her, “my girlfriend”.
I got to know by my ex’s best friend that they had been together for most of the duration of my relationship. She cheated. I was cheated on. It was, in addition to being dumped out of the blue in the first place, unbearable.
I started to question everything. I became paranoid, depressed, but also determined. I stole her best friend away, even wanted to sleep with her to make sure they wouldn’t be friends away. The pain turned into a furious anger and she was lucky she lived half a country away. I would have killed her. And my “friend” who she now was fucking, she’d be the first. I would make her suffer.
Now, I did not kill her. The next time I would meet her was in the end of December. My blood boiled as I walked away from that slut. I was the most composed as I could be.
I tried to seek something to get me distracted. I tried painting, but all my paintings were made of black and blood. I tried running, but it didn’t turn off my brain. This blog then was created, and is my coping ever since.
I don’t know if I ever will be able to think of her and not want to damage her. The girl she was with apologized and she claimed not to have contact with her anymore, so I won’t hurt her. But her, she, someday… This will be a day of death and an end to her tale.