he doesn’t fit the traditional bill of a star wars hero. but he starts the action by doing one of the most heroic things possible, which is making the hard choice. and i think that makes bodhi really charming and really admirable. —pablo hidalgo
So the patronus isn’t straight up taught in Hogwarts, as a wise professor once said, it’s a ‘highly advanced spell, well beyond O.W.L level’
But you know, this is the marauders, the rebellious little nerds that we all know and love.
So James got hold of a book from the library one day about how to do the patronus and it seemed very cool. Not the whole fighting dementors part, but the distant and simple communication? priceless for a marauder.
And so they all stayed up one night trying to learn how to do it.
Sirius was actually the first to successfully do the spell. He had spent the last hour lavishly flinging his wand in the air shouting ‘Expecto Patronum!’ to no avail. Them Remus told him he should try to think of a happier memory.
He thought of the first time he had called Euphemia Potter ‘mum’. It had been an accident and had really just slipped out. He had been so embarrassed. But none of the Potter’s seemed to have noticed. A few moments later James had turned over to Sirius and said.’Could you pass your brother the salt then?’
And Sirius had never felt more part of a family in his life.
He was so engrossed in the memory he didn’t even notice the frantic black dog shoot out to his wand and knock Peter onto his backside.
Peter was next, he was thinking of the moment when some of the Slytherins had been bullying him earlier one day in first year and he had been crying down by the lake all afternoon, only to have Remus come up and sit behind him, rubbing his back and comforting him. Then Sirius and James had pushed the Slytherins into the Black lake right in front of him. How they had laughed. Real friends.
The small rat that scurried out of Peter’s wand that night was the first and last one Peter could ever produce. This was 6th year and soon the war became to much for the young boy.
Standing next to a struggling James, Remus was viciously whispering and flicking his wrists over and over again. ‘Expecto Patronum. Expecto Patronum. Expecto f’fucks sake. This is hopeless.’
‘You can do it Moony.’ Sirius smiled.
Remus thought about the first time he had kissed the stupid black haired Gryffindor in front of him. Sirius had been stealing something out of one of the cupboards along the school corridors when Remus had caught him on prefect rounds.
Looking back on it Remus couldn’t help but laugh at how unsubtle Sirius had been about the whole thing. ‘Oh, we seem to have bumped into each other Moons’ ‘What a coincidence.’ Remus of course had just assumed Sirius was trying to tease him into giving him detention, something Remus would never do, and had ended up getting pretty annoyed and flustered about being this close to Sirius in a small space and omg he could feel the heat of his skin and ah this was too much and he couldn’t stop talking.
Until Sirius closed that little gap between them to shut him up.
And Remus had never been happier. And he had never looked back.
And then a large animal came running out of the end of his wand, and Remus thought to himself.
‘It’s a dog! Sirius and I have the same Patronus!’
Only Remus’ was much bigger than Sirius’ dog… and it’s tail was bushier.. and did it just howl?
No. This wasn’t fair. Not this. That wasn’t how this was supposed t be. It was meant to be a happy memory. This wasn’t fair, after all this time, the one thing he thought he could share with his boyfriend.. and this was what he gets… another reminder about how imperfect and unworthy and unwanted…
And then there was Sirius standing next to him, sliding his arm around his back and kissing him gently on the cheek.
‘I love it.’ He whispered.
‘ ‘s not fair.’ Remus mumbled.
‘Remus look.’ Sirius replied. ‘it’s not that. It’s a wolf. A normal wolf. A loyal and pack having, friendly wolf.’
And Sirius was grinning.
But Remus just shrugged.
James was having the most trouble of them all.
Something was wrong, he just couldn’t seem to do it. He kept thinking of happy memories, first time he rode a broom, first time Sirius came to stay, first time he transformed into a stag.
And still nothing.
Tiny wisps of silver.
And then nothing.
‘It’s fine James, we already know what it’s going to be.’
‘I know,’ James replied through gritted teeth. ‘I just want to see it.’
And he was so fustrated.
And making a crap load of noise about it too.
So much noise in fact, that he started to wake the other residents of the Gryffindor tower up from their slumber.
And so a very grumpy and tired Lily Evans came storming down the staircase.
‘What in Merlin’s name are you twats doing now!’
‘Ah Evans.’ Sirius grinned. ‘care to join us?’
‘It’s three in the fucking morning Black! I’m supposed to be sleeping, except someone has been screaming for the past half hour about how hard this is and he trying but it’s not working, and I can’t tell if James is finally losing his virginity or doing his homework for once, but what I do know is that it’s stopping me from being able to enjoy the few hours of the day that I don’t have to be around you lot.’
A rather deeply embarrassed James pushed past a bent-over-with-laughter Sirius.
‘Actually Lily,’ he said, trying to act suave and like he hand’t just heard the last bit. ‘We are trying to do the patronus charm.’
This had peaked Lily’s interest, and although she knew better, she asked. ‘Really? The patronus charm? Wow. A proper one?’
‘Yepp.’ peter chimed in. ‘And we’ve all been able to do it, except for James.’
Lily cocked her eyebrow.
‘Oh.’ She smiled. ‘Let me try then.’
James, not wanting to be shown up any more by the fiery red head who was hopelessly in love with, quickly butted in. ‘No no. I mean, you can try.. but its really hard and took everyone ages to master and you’ll be up all night trying and-’
‘Potter.’ She replied sternly.
It only took her three attempts.
And there it was.
A beautiful silver shimmering doe burst through the tip of her wand and gracefully ran across the common room, galloping past it occupants before turning and vanishing as Lily dropped her arm. She grinned.
‘See? Not so hard then.’
James just stared. Open mouthed. Like the rest of the marauders. Dumb-founded in total and complete shock, until Lily just gave up on them and went back off to bed.
James didn’t have any trouble producing a Patronus after that.