realizing what you lost


I was tagged by @theunaccomplishedwriter Also post the rules
Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you.
Write 11 questions of your own.
Tag 11 ppl or whoever ya want.
1. Favourite season
Fall not to cold not to warm just right^^
2. Favourite book
My sisters keeper,it made me cry and made me realize what you have in this world can be lost.
3. What place would you most like to visit in the world?
4. Favourite TV show
The vampire diaries and Grey’s Anatomy
5. What superpower would you like to have? (You only get one!)
6. Pirates or Ninjas?
Does ninja turtles count XD
7. What’s your dream job?
Marine biologists or a surgeon Idk for sure yet.
8. Your guilty pleasure song/film/anything!
Idk really XD food I guess then again isn’t that everyone’s guilty pleasure
9. Your favourite thing about being on tumblr (keep it pg people!)
My friends!
10. What’s the weirdest dream you remember?
I don’t remember any dreams tbh😂
11. Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle?
Don’t kill me but…not a fan of Pokémon …sorry fam
Um my questions are..
1:Favorite movie?
2:Last person you texted?
3:favorite color?
4:favorite animal?
6:Favorite food?
8:one thing you can’t live without?
9:if you were on an island what three things would you have?
10:on that same island who is one person you Could bring to be on the island with you?
11:Fact about you?
I tag …. @applepiesforfree @simonphillip-dosser @diepjun @mattnyc816 @fox-comics @skullcookie17 @aceomega @rubygirly @royartd @thetotaltroll @aquamarine-moon have fun fam!!!

i love you. [delete]
did you ever love me? [delete]
was i just somebody you used to make you feel better about yourself? [delete]
well, here’s me making you feel better about yourself: you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met in my life. nobody could ever take your place. i love you more than words can say. [delete]
yeah, you fucked me over, but i still think you’re great. i don’t know if that says more about me or more about you. i don’t know if that makes me pathetic or kindhearted. i always saw the good in you. [delete]
i know i didn’t always act like you were important to me. i’m sorry for that. i’m sorry i didn’t shove it down your throat every day, tell you that you were worth everything to me; i’m sorry i held your mistakes against you so much. i’m sorry i didn’t realize you were struggling too. [delete]
you’re still the first person i want to tell anything to. like did you hear who our ex-friend is hooking up with? did you see that facebook status? did you see that car crash on route 29? did you know there are more microbes on your body than people on earth? [delete]
i know i said leave but i really meant i’ll be waiting for you to come back. my friends say it’s not permanent; i can go back whenever i want to. i know i can but i left for a reason. it hurts so much that you don’t want me. [delete]
i keep thinking i can convince you to choose me. who wouldn’t want someone who loves them this much? i want to shower you with compliments just so you realize what you lost. [delete]
but i also want you to know you’re special. i want you to know somebody loves you, even if they’re far away. i want you to know how you lifted my spirits by just existing. [delete]
but then i think: where’s my “i love you”? where’s my “thank you for existing”? where’s my “you’re special” and “i appreciate you” and “you’re important to me”? why am i always the one trying to make this work? why don’t you value me? [delete]
you told me you’d always answer my text messages, probably even in your sleep. i can’t believe someone so goddamn beautiful could do such ugly things. [delete]
—  delete delete delete
One day, many years from now when you realize what you’ve lost - you will search for me. 
Perhaps you’ll email me but there’ll be no reply; or maybe you’ll call my number but it will have changed…. And when you give up trying to find me physically, you’ll search for me emotionally. 
You’ll try to find someone else who will love you like I did or make you laugh as much as I used to … but you’ll soon realize there’s nobody else quite like me… I was unique… I was the one for you - and you lost me. And you will try so desperately to find traces of me in every soul you meet for the rest of your days ….but you will never ever find me.
—  Ranata Suzuki

It’s okay

We ran out of things to say
And you couldn’t keep your heart from going astray
It’s okay

I wasn’t enough for you
And you were dragging me down
Thinking you could get your way
It’s okay

I guess she made you feel some type of way
And I let you get quite far away
It’s okay

It’s something we used to say
And you sure as hell wouldn’t go away
But I say
‘It’s okay’
When I’m really not okay
You don’t get to break my heart like this
But you have
And it’s okay

It’s your loss
She doesn’t feel the same way
And all my feelings have faded away
It’s okay

I didn’t feel the need to stay
Since you would never get your way
It’s okay

My best friend told you that you should ‘fix it’
But after all,
I stood tall
And ended it
It’s okay

We fell out of something they love to call love
And no longer feel the same damn way
It’s okay

We could’ve been so much more
You could’ve kept your promise
But you went astray
It’s okay

You changed and went down a path I couldn’t follow
So now I run towards a better tomorrow
It’s okay

I hope you’ve realized what you lost
Because I don’t think you know what it cost
It’s okay

Tomorrow is a beautiful new day
And I swear to you
I’m more than okay.

—  IT’S OKAY, e.l., letters to p #4
Zach Imagine #3: Part 2

 It was the day of the big game. Zach had told Justin he really shouldn’t be playing in this game. Zach knew he hasn’t been able to make any of his shots since Y/N had left him. 

“Man, don’t sweat it. You’re going to do great, I already know it,” Justin reassured him. What Zach didn’t know was that Justin talked to Y/N to explain that their break up was his fault and that he needed her. Y/N agreed to come to the game.


15 minutes into the game and it had been home: 0 and visitors: 5.

Justin nudged Zach and pointed in a direction. Zach looked over and was completely shocked. She was smiling at him, holding her “Zach dempsey? More like Zach DAMN (DID YOU) SEE THAT SHOT?” Zach smiled widely. Now he really had to make the shots, I mean, you came to his game and made a poster and everything. Zach called for Montgomery to pass you the ball. He threw him the ball, and you smiled.

“Y/N this one’s for you!” He screamed and shot the basket. Nothing, but net. The crowd roared, but that was just the beginning.


The game was over and the score had changed drastically. Visitors: 7 and Home: 32. Zach had gotten his game back. Zach approached Y/N, “You came,” he smiled.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“I’m sorry Y/N. I really am. I was dumb, not dumb, even worse. I took you for granted and once I lost you, I realized what I had done. I was a bad boyfriend, and you deserved better. You’re this great girl, and I’m a hu-” You cut him off by grabbing his cheeks and kissing him. You feel him relax under your touch. 

“You shouldn’t forgive me,” Zach sighed. She is a great person, and she did so much for him, but the way he treated her was unacceptable. He couldn’t take advantage of her, not anymore and not ever.

“You’re right,” Zach’s chest tightened. It’s over, I ruined it all. “You’ll have to make it up to me. I say a lot of your best kisses and cuddles.”

“I can do that.”

“Oh and you’ll make up for loss of attention?”

“Of course.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss you.

BTS reaction to you breaking up with them and they knew it was coming

Anon said: If is not much to ask can you do BTS reaction to you breaking up with them because they don’t even try to keep the relationship going? They just distance himself from you. Like they knew you will do that, that it will happen. I hope you can do it, thank you

Jungkook: Sitiing down with you on the couch, he kept looking at you, knowing something is up. He wouldn’t take his eyes off you.
“You, just… Don’t try anymore” you start to tear up and he does too. 
He knows it, that he done wrong.
“I’m sorry Jungkook..” he starts crying and looks away from you 
“But we need to break up” you added, your heart breaking apart
Jungkook would nod his head and cry even more. Silence would fill up the room, and the only sound is two of you crying. 

Originally posted by jungkookfortunekookies

Jimin: After you said you guys need to break up. He’ll be silent. He would tear up but not cry. He knew it was coming, that he messed up. He wouldn’t try to stop you from leaving cause’ there is no hope, no hope for ficing something he done. He loves you, and will for a long time, but knows you will be better on your own and happy with someone else.

Originally posted by ohparkjimin

Taehyung: “I love you. I know you hate me, but this is just the way I feel. O saw it coming long time ago. I know a “sorry” doesn’t mean anything to you at this point, but I am sorry Y/N.” 

Originally posted by pangguk

J-Hope: Soon as you leave, he’ll cry his eyes out. Will be so heart broken,  but knows it’s his fault. Would later realize what kind of perfect and wonderful person you are and taht he lost you and probably will never be able to see or be with again.  

Originally posted by jjilljj

Rap Monster: He would not cry at first. He’ll just say “I understand where you are coming from and I know this is the best way”. As he stays alone he would cover his face and just start crying. To let everything out he’ll write raps for you, about you, wirte everything down how he feels. Wanting you to know he messed up so fucking bad.

Originally posted by chimchams

Suga: He’s a tough guy. He doesn’t cry as often. Being without you he would feel the emptiness, like a puzzle missing. Same as Rap Monster he would either write songs or just play the piano. Play your favorite songs, melodies just so he can remember what good days were. 

Originally posted by loveblushes

Jin: He would tell you “I promise I will change” , “I’ll do anything to fix this.” , “I don’t want to lose you, please don’t leave”. But it would be too late. He would  understand what he put you through and what he done, he’ll cry and cry. Be changed man without you.

Originally posted by lavender-kills

Blue eyes

Request: Hey I was wondering if you could do a BuckyXReader where the reader has a dog and she talks about him all the time so Bucky gets confused and thinks its her boyfriend and he gets a little annoyed and Jealous because he likes the reader. Thanks!

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Language

Tags; @sassy-and-classy-cowgirl  @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @fashun–deevah

- If you sigh another time I’m calling an ambulance 

The jesting voice of Sam starttles you making you look confused at your friend. 

- I’m not sighing - you protest and he raises an eyebrow amused

Okay, maybe you do, a little bit, but in your defense how could you not? Recently you have achieved one of your life goals: have a fluffly, beautiful, adorable puppy. You have been discussing with the owner of the apartament you are ocuping for the lasts months and finally, after the promise that you will pay if the dog breaks something, he had conceed you to have a puppy, and you couldn’t be more in love with it. He is the most precious thing you have seen in your life and half of your thoughs are about him recently, you can’t wait to arrive home and play with him.

- Then, you have problems breathing? - he mocks and Nat laughs besides him

- Leave the girl alone - she says - she can’t help it

Keep reading

Dating Daryl Dixon would include...

As I’m broadening my horizon beyond Marvel and DC stuffs, here’s some “The Walking Dead” things ! Daryl Dixon’s relationship headcanons, hope you’ll like it, and if you want more, don’t hesitate to ask yo : 

My masterlist blog :


How you met, falling in love, and the first “I love you” : 

✶ You were in Atlanta with your family when the zombie outbreak truly started, and barely managed to leave the center of the city in one piece, loosing everyone you ever loved…But at the time, you were too shocked to realize it. 

✶ You ended up in a forrest nearby…and that’s when you met him.

✶ He was hunting with his brother, and at first, thought you were completely nuts. “Zombies ? This gal’s crazy or something”. 

✶ Quickly though, the reality of what’s happening reaches the three of you, and you end up tagging along with them. 

✶ It helps that you know how to fend for yourself, how to shoot a gun/crossbow/bow  with great accuracy (your father used to take you on hunting trips often). You’re pretty sure they would have left you behind if you were completely useless. 

✶ You’re wrong though, it’s not like Daryl to abandon people behind. Not like him at all. And though Merle is a rough man, it’s not actually his thing either, though he’d never admit it. 

✶ When they ask about who taught you to shoot, you talk about your father, and even though you try to hold your tears in…You break down. Finally realizing you lost all your family in Atlanta. 

✶ “What about friends ? / I don’t have friends”, you tell him. He understands. Besides his brother, he has no one. As your tears run freely, he comforts you the best he can. Not good with words. So he awkwardly pats you on your back, until you burry yourself in his arms. And he lets you do it. 

✶ He doesn’t speak much at first. But whenever Merle is away, he’s more open, and conversation always seem to flow easily between the two of you. 

✶ He feels weird. He never felt the way he feels when he’s around you before. It was easy to become your friend. It’s easy to talk to you. He doesn’t mind spending hours just sitting next to you, not saying anything. It’s just weird for him, to get attach so fast to someone he knows since only a few weeks. 

✶ He knows he’s screwed because the weird feelings he’s been having is love when you, him and his brother meet a group of survivors lead by a certain “Shane”, and he doesn’t like the way that guy looks at you.

✶ His brother teases him about you, not thinking he’s actually right. Until he realizes that yes, his little brother has a thing for you. More than a thing. And then he teases him even more.

✶ You’re too afraid to tell him you feel the same thing about him because…well, sometimes he’s just kind of an asshole to you, so he can’t possibly like you back ? You didn’t realized that he was an ass only when Merle was around. 

✶ The day his brother dies, you give him a shoulder to cry on, and comfort him just like he comforted you months ago when you realized your entire family was dead. Only, you’re good with words, and thanks to you, for the first time in his life, he feels completely free, relieved, of any pain and suffering. 

✶ That night, he tells you about the abuse he suffered from when he was a kid, from his parents, and the one from his brother though he loved the damn fucker…and you suddenly understand. You understand everything.  

✶ “I’m here for you Daryl, and I don’t intend on going anywhere and I”…You don’t even have time to finish your sentence that his lips are on yours. 

✶ Never did he do something that felt so right. Kissing you just seemed so natural, as if he was made to do it. 

✶ For a second, you don’t respond and his heart drops…until your tongue demands passage in his mouth and oh damn is he dead too, and is he in Heaven right now ? It surely feels like it. 

✶ You guys don’t say “I love you” just yet though. You’re already both freaked out that you got attached so fast…Besides, the World you’re living in now doesn’t really give much time for romantic shit. 

Keep reading

From the Dining Table, Pt. 1 (Ethan)

Summary: Before moving out of the home you once shared with your fame hungry ex-boyfriend, you sit down to write him a letter, explaining to him why you left and where to find you if he ever comes to look for you.

Word Count: 2,352

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: This idea hit me in the middle of the night while listening to Harry Styles’ new album, specifically the last song entitled “From the Dining Table.” I highly recommend you listen to the song while reading this imagine for the full effect. I also apologize in advance if I make anyone feel things; writing this had me feeling all the things. I might turn this into a mini-series if it gets enough love, so please enjoy! Requests are open!

“I honestly never thought this day would come, Mom.” You grab the last of the pictures of you and your ex-boyfriend sitting on the dresser and throw them into a cardboard box in the entrance of the bedroom. “I’m moving out of the house I shared with the person I thought I was going to marry, and he doesn’t even know I’m leaving. Do you hear how twisted that sounds?”

Your mom places the rest of your t-shirts into the open suitcase on the floor. “Honey, you can’t predict the future. You didn’t know he was going to turn out to be this way.”

“We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, Mom. Nothing about him or the way he was raised would have indicated that this would have happened. He used to just be a goofy kid with a camera… What happened?”

She stands up to zip the suitcase. “I don’t know, but you’ve been turning that over in your head for God knows how long now. Haven’t you tortured yourself enough?”

“Hasn’t he tortured me enough?”

The both of you sigh and your stomach begins to twist. You pick up the cardboard box and a couple of tote bags laying around, following your mom as she drags the suitcase out into the dining room, the wheels echoing through the nearly empty house as they click on the wooden floor.

“Y/N, fame changes people. I just hope for his own good that one day he realizes what he truly lost… Okay, do we have everything?”

You shift from one foot to the other, trying to subdue the pain in your abdomen that’s only growing. “Yeah, I think so. My clothes are all packed, the electricity will be shut off by the city tonight, my pictures are all put away, and we loaded all the furniture into the truck yesterday.”

“All, except the table,” she notes.

“Yeah, that’s not mine. I’m leaving it for…” you trail off as you glance at the surface, remembering the notebook and pens you packed in one of your totes.

“Hey Mom, why don’t you take the rest of this stuff? I’ll be outside in a second, I just have something I want to do, first.”

“Okay, but don’t take too long. I want to ride the daylight out as much as possible. You know I have a hard time driving at night.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Your mom takes the box from you before pushing it and the suitcase out the door. She shuts it behind her while you pull your stationary out from one of the bags, setting it on the table. You take off the cap of your pen, breathing deeply before pressing it to the paper:

 I don’t want to be angry with you anymore, Ethan, but I am. I’m so god damn angry.

I want to live my life and not think about you or hear your laugh everywhere I go. I want to look in the mirror and see my face again instead of yours. I regret cutting all my hair off just so I could look like you. I wish I had the power to delete our song off of my phone. I wish I wasn’t slumped over the dining room table, crying while I was writing this.

You’re so selfish that it makes me sick. The very first night I met you, I didn’t know I’d grow up to consider you my best friend. I never expected to become this attached to you. But, fast forward to the day you left me: when you walked out the door, you took the oxygen from my lungs.

You’re just a set of bones and a beating heart. How did you mess me up so bad?

I was such a fool to think you’d adhere to your resolution to live as normal of a life as possible. You used to know that life has so much more to offer than posting moody pictures on Instagram and hoping it gets over 500,000 likes or ignoring the people who built you up because it makes you feel powerful. What you’ve become absolutely disgusts me, and the worst part of it all is that you don’t even know what the time apart has done to me. I never got to celebrate your birthday with you, something that was a dream of ours to do together. I couldn’t give you Christmas presents this year. I couldn’t sit with you and your family while they grilled hot dogs in your back yard on the Fourth of July. I couldn’t do any of this because you only think of yourself anymore. It’s like you’ve completely forgotten about me.

Right before your departure, you told me you’d come back for me. You said you would text and call whenever you could until we would see each other again in person. I got your first text soon after, and for a while it felt like we were never apart; it felt like the oxygen in my lungs was restored. You’d call me after every show and every promotional event, so excited and in awe that you couldn’t wait to tell me about everything that happened. As time went on though, with the more people you met and the higher you climbed up the ladder, the texts became fewer and farther in between. My phone rang less often until it stopped ringing all together. You didn’t text me anymore. I had to learn about everything you were doing through friends and social media. I can’t count the number of voicemails I left you, afraid that I smothered you and apologizing for being the reason you pushed me away. I know now that it had absolutely nothing to do with me, but I can’t help but hope that one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry, too. It never happens, though. You never do.

You friends tell me that this is normal, that getting through the separation anxiety is the worst part. But, let me ask you this: Was it normal for me to curl up in the fetal position in the middle of the hallway after you walked out of the door? Was it normal for me not to sleep a wink after you were gone? I would scream into the dark of night, begging for you to come back. I would pray for you, and you know how I feel about religion. Praying was something you did before every meal and every night before bedtime. I would watch you clasp your hands together and close your eyes while your lips gracefully moved to form silent requests of peace, grace, and mercy. Do you remember when you asked me about religion? I pressed my lips into a hard line, squeezing my hands together so tightly that I lost feeling within seconds. I did it though, I got down on my knees by my bedside hoping that you would be able to hear me through whatever kind of higher power you believed in. It turns out I was wrong.

Let me tell you that if God does exist, He’s a vulture. He’s completely unfair. The kind of lives He had in store for both of us was cruel and downright disgusting; He chose me for endless suffering and He chose you to poison the lives of everyone you meet. So much for being a good guy, huh?

The worst part of all of this is the fact that despite my anger and resentment towards your addiction to fame and how you chose it over me, you’ve taught me more than I could have ever imagined. It makes me sad, but one of those lessons is the fact that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t be fixed. This is something that no one ever tells you when you’re young; it never fails to surprise me when I look around and see people close to me breaking one by one. I should probably get it in my head. I saw it happen to you and then I felt it happen to me. I did almost everything to try and heal the resulting pain, including hurting myself in ungodly disturbing ways. I didn’t, however sleep with strangers and then leave them in the cold like the tabloids said you did.

But, see, even if I did such an ugly, terrible thing, those people would never fill this hole. I’m always going to want you. I’m always going to choose you.

I hate myself for that. I hate that I can be so angry and so vicious toward what you’ve become, but at the end of the night I lay in bed knowing I’m always going to be waiting for you. I can lie to myself all I want about it and yet I still find myself walking around every day thinking about how different circumstances would be if you were by my side at any particular moment. I tell myself to avoid everything that reminds me of you; instead I expose myself to those things even more because I don’t know how to live without the hole in my chest anymore. I can easily say I’ve failed at attempting to get over you and I don’t want to make any more attempts. The only way I can carry you with me now is by carrying the pain of you not being with me. The pain has been there for two years, five months, three weeks, and two days. This is the only way I know how to live now.

But, above all else, the one thing I desperately need you to know is that even before my anger, pity, and resentment, if you ever end up calling me again, even if it’s at 4 AM and you’re too sad to say a word, I won’t yell at you about how much of my life you’ve consumed. Rather, I will intently listen to your silence until you’re able to fall asleep again. If you need to cry, I won’t wipe away your tears because we’re only human and sometimes tears are the closest we can get to laughter and that’s okay. If you need to yell so ferociously that your voice gives out and your knees fail you, I’ll be there to hold you up and I’ll yell with you to make you feel less alone. If you get so angry that you punch your hands raw, I will ice your knuckles and gently remind you that wounds do eventually heal, both inside and out, just like the way harsh winters give way to warm springs. I will be your warm spring again, and I will do all of this because I love you unconditionally, even when you spite me and drive me insane. Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead than putting up with everything that comes with you, and I hate the fact that I don’t hate you. I just love you. My love is over, underneath, inside, and in between all the struggles that we have faced.

Now, I’m begging you, Ethan. If you ever decide to come look for me, I’ve left California; I can’t live in a place that feels so artificial anymore. I’m going back to the beginning, the place where you and I planted our roots, where we ran around in the sprinklers in the summer and made snow angels in the winter, where we tossed our high school graduation caps in the air and took weekend trips driving into the city. I’m going back to the place where I can find myself again. If you ever decide to come look for me, I’ll be waiting for you there.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you fold the piece of paper down in thirds before placing it in an envelope and sloppily addressing it with an “E”. A horn honks outside, cueing you to grab the last of your bags and place the letter in the middle of the table. As you approach the front door, you turn around to take in the empty house one last time. All of the memories you and Ethan shared together here begin to dance in front of your eyes and you sigh to yourself, grateful that they’re going to stay with you for the rest of your life, but heartbroken you have to leave this behind. Finally, you step out onto the front porch and lock the door behind you.

“Alright, I’m good. I’ve got everything,” you grunt as you climb into the passenger seat of the moving van, tossing the bags behind you.

Your mom reaches over from the driver’s side to place her hand on your cheek. “You are such a brave girl. I am so proud of you for starting to let go.”

You close your eyes and place a hand on her wrist. “Thanks, Mom. Can we please go now, though, before I get too sentimental? I don’t want to cry anymore. My lungs already hurt too much.”

The both of you let go of each other to click your seat belts in place, and as your mom pulls the truck out of the neighborhood and onto the highway, you roll the windows down and turn on the radio. After several minutes of humming along to the music and getting lost in your own thoughts, your mom’s voice startles you.

“Do you think he’ll ever come back?”

You shift in your seat, unsure how to answer. “It’s been over two years, Mom.”

“What if he decides to come back to the house and you’re not there?”

“He has a key. He can get in.”

“But you won’t be there.”

You pause for a moment. “No, I won’t be. But I have a feeling that if he ever comes across what I left for him, he’ll know exactly where to find me.”

“And where’s that?”

You glance out the window, the vast, California landscape speeding by you as you head for the state line. The two of you have a long drive ahead of you back to the East Coast, almost 2,800 miles.

“Home. I told him to come home.”

“I think I love you.” // hoseok

Hoseok thought that love was an emotion that he would only realize what it is when he’s fifty going through a mid-life crisis, singing in a karaoke bar I want to know what love is. As funny as that sounds, it isn’t so when it was going through Hoseok’s mind wondering what is love? He had only seen it on the television, confessions upon cries of love on a bus through a ballad song realizing you lost what you never had, Hoseok was a hopeless romantic wanting to know what love was.

Fortunately, for him, that’s not the case. Hoseok finds out what love is on a Sunday afternoon where you’re at your rawest.

Clothes that are labelled to be house clothes, consisting of an overly worn shirt, loosely hanging on your shoulders with boxers of his own lining your hips as you sit comfortably on the end of your sofa. Legs, unshaved. Hair undone. Face bare but heart opened on your sleeves when you tip your chin up and make eye contact with him, the look in your eyes with the same spark since the day you met him… this must be what love feels like when Hoseok can’t seem to take his eyes off you or think about anything else but the warmth making his heart swell.

“I… think I love you,” Hoseok can’t believe he’s saying it, but when you smile without much surprise from your end, when has he felt this way but hasn’t clarified to himself that he had already been in love with you?


He likes the sound of it. He really does.


“Good,” He watches as the smile grows wider on your lips, before you inch forward and press a kiss to his lips - “Because I think I love you too.”

I’ll never stop fighting for you, because I love you. And real love is worth fighting for. Even if you’re unsure of how you’re feeling anymore, I’ll always be here, waiting, when you realize what you lost..
—  I’ll always be waiting for you // 7:39am ; 5.30.17
One day, many years from now when you realize what you’ve lost - you will search for me.
Perhaps you’ll email me but there’ll be no reply; or maybe you’ll call my number but it will have changed…. And when you give up trying to find me physically, you’ll search for me emotionally.
You’ll try to find someone else who will love you like I did or make you laugh as much as I used to … but you’ll soon realize there’s nobody else quite like me…
I was unique… I was the one for you - and you lost me.
And you will try so desperately to find traces of me in every soul you meet for the rest of your days ….but you will never ever find me.
Werewolf’s Anchor - Stiles Stilinski

(for @spn–addict–i-may-need-help  i hope you like it hun! <3)

Pain.  An extreme amount of agonizing pain.  Who knew that sword piercing through your shoulder would hurt so damn much?

The only sound you heard was your own screams, and in an instant the oni that were surrounding you disappeared.  You crumpled to the ground, heaving in fear and pain.  Blood pooled onto the cement under you, and when your alpha rounded the corner and found you there, he panicked.

“Shit!” He yelled, rushing over to you.  “y/n, y/n stay with me okay? Let me take the pain” And as soon as he grasped your hand, you were both heaving.  Your body fell limp against his, laying across his lap the way Allison’s had days ago.  And suddenly you felt guilty.

Yes, you knew you were dying.

“I’m sorry” You whimpered, and you could see Scott was already sobbing.

“No no no y/n don’t do this you can’t” He said.

“I-” But you couldn’t finish your words.

“Stiles is going to kill me” Scott said.  “You weren’t supposed to come, he didn’t know-” Scott broke down into a mess of hysterics.  “It’s my fault, I couldn’t save Allison- I can’t save you” The others, Kira, Isaac, Lydia, they’d surrounded the two of you silently, unsure of what to say or do that could help.

“Bite me” You said, and Scott froze, staring you dead in the eyes.  “Bite me Scott, do it”

“I can’t- I can’t I’ve never… it either kills you or turns you and y/n neither of those things are good” Scott said.  You shook your head.

“I’m dying anyways” You said softly, a few tears brimming your eyes.  “Please” You said.  “I’m asking” 

You wondered if dying would’ve hurt less than the feeling of fangs crunching into your arm.

You were walking in the hall with Stiles, books clutched tightly against your chest.  He was going on about the new Star Wars movie they were coming out with, hands waving around the air ecstatically as he grinned and rambled on.

Meanwhile students were slamming their lockers, and every time someone did, you’d cringe, and squeeze your books even tighter.

“..and then like- wait y/n? y/n? Hey” You shook your head to focus on Stiles, who was now standing in front of you.  “You alright?” He asked softly, brows drawn together in concern.  You opened your mouth, and your jaw began to hurt right away.  “y/n what’s wrong-”

“I need Scott” You rushed the words out before he could see you were growing fangs, then ran off down the hallway.

“But wait y/n-!” Stiles called after you, but you’d already left him.  That was the third time this week you’d said you had to find Scott, then ran off like that.  Stiles’ heart broke a little at the idea of you leaving him to go find Scott.

“Kira!” You called frantically, eyes shifting golden for a split second before back to their normal color.

“y/n?” Kira pulled you aside, trying to shield you from the passing students.  “Again?” She whispered.  “y/n this has been happening a lot lately-”

“I just need Scott” You panted out, digging your hands deeper into your books.  “Where is he-”

“y/n!” Kira hissed, pulling on your wrists.  You looked down to see that your claws had been breaking through the textbook in your arms.  

“Oh no, oh no no no no I need Scott where’s Scott” You began panicking, eyes a permanent gold.

“y/n why’d you come to school you know it’s a full moon tonight” Kira scolded.  You shook your head a few times.

“I need Sc-” You stopped, falling against the lockers as you could no longer breathe.

“Are- are- I don’t - y/n tell me what to do what do I have to do?” Kira begged, and caught the arm of a familiar passer-byer.  “Stiles help, I don’t know how this works” She said lowly, but you heard her perfectly clear.

“I’m fine” You struggled the words out.  “I’m fine” That’s when Stiles looked over at you, your eyes squeezed shut, hands white and clenched around your textbook.  Your face was flushed, and your body was shaking.

“What’s happening?” The boy asked, and you felt strong arms wrap around you.

“Stiles duh she’s shifting” Kira said, and you began to shake your head.


“Excuse me” You mumbled, and ran off down the hall.  Stiles stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth agape towards Kira.

“What.. in the hell.. was that” Stiles asked through long breaths.  Kira looked at him confused.

“It’s the full moon Stiles calm down a little, she’s just gotta get the hang of control” Kira said.

“Are you telling me that y/n’s a werewolf” Stiles asked, his voice quiet, but deep.  Kira’s eyes widened, and her lips parted.

“You didn’t know…”

Stiles was running wildly, trying to think of places you would go in the school.  The library, classrooms, the spot under the stairwell on the first floor where you’d meet up during class because it’s secluded.  He even waited under there for a few extra minutes, thinking you’d show up.  But you didn’t.  He went to the last place he thought you could be.

When he entered the locker room, he heard the heavy breathing right away.

He’d found you.

“y/n?” Stiles called, walking in and locking the door behind him.  “y/n it’s Stiles”

“Go away” Your voice was an octave lower than it usually is.  “I’m fine just leave me alone” More heavy breaths followed.

“No, no y/n I’m not leaving you” Stiles followed the sound of your voice, walking through aisles of lockers.  “y/n… I helped Scott, I can help you too okay? I can help you too”

“Please go away” You whimpered.  “I don’t want you to see me like this” You were crying, and it made his heart ache.  He walked to the end of the row, and found you there.  Sitting curled up against the lockers.  You had claws on the end of your fingertips, your hands in fists and blood protruding from your palms.

“y/n” Stiles breathed, immediately falling to the ground in front of you.  “Hey, hey look at me” You brought your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs and burying your face down in yourself.  “Hey” He spoke softly, lifting your chin up.  But your eyes were shut.  “y/n…open your eyes” You shook your head.

“No no I don’t want to see you, you’ll be disappointed” You said.  

“No I won’t.  I promise I won’t y/n just look at me” You growled, unintentionally, but it still scared you.

“Stiles go I don’t want to hurt you” You begged, and he moved closer to you.

“I told you I’m not leaving” he said.  “Listen y/n, you’re going to be okay, I promise alright? But you gotta look at me” You took in a deep breath.

“O-okay okay” You whimpered out, and slowly, your eyes opened, revealing their golden yellow color.  You cried harder upon seeing Stiles in front of you.

“There… there see it’s alright” He cooed, cradling your face between his hands.  “It’s okay, you’re okay” He whispered.

“I’m- I can’t- Stiles I don’t have control” You panted.  “I can’t- I can’t breathe-  I can’t do this-”

“Shh… shh it’s okay, it’s okay just listen to my voice alright?” You squeezed your eyes shut for a short moment.  “Just focus on me, find an anchor”

“I don’t have-”

“You do, you just have to search for it.  You do” He urged.  “Your family, your friends, your own life, whatever you can” He pleaded.  You opened your eyes, staring at him.  He watched yours, flickering quickly between yellow and normal.  “I know you have one y/n” He told you.  “You just need to breathe, and calm your heart beat” But your breaths were fast and heavy pants.

“I can’t- I can’t” You cried.  Stiles steadied your head, staring intensely and worriedly at you.

“Please don’t kill me for this” He rushed the words and you’d barely registered them when he pushed forward and smashed his lips against yours.  Your eyes widened, and a small squeal came from the back of your throat in shock.  But in just a second you were melting against him, moving your lips against his and sitting up straighter to reach him properly.  Your hands threaded into the back of his hair, pulling him closer as he did as well, his thumbs brushing across your cheeks.  Even as you parted, his fingers still caressed your skin.

Your features were human like again, you’d anchored yourself.

Soft pants were elicited from the both of you, and your eyes seemed to say all the words you didn’t know how to voice to the other.

“You’re not mad at me?” You whispered, and he instantly shook his head.

“No definitely not” Stiles replied.  “Though I would like to know what happened that… that brought us here” He said.

“I uh… I went with the others a while back… a few months ago with the oni and I uhm…” You trailed off.  “One of them, stabbed me..” You put your hand on your shoulder, though the wound had long healed.

“Scott bit you” Stiles finished, realizing what had happened.

“I asked him to, Stiles” You said.  “He’d just lost Allison, and I know I’m nothing compared to her, but I also know that if I’d died that night, he’d blame himself, and I couldn’t have that” Stiles didn’t say anything, just licked his lips as he thought about what you’d said.  “You’d never even known I went Stiles and I-” You swallowed.  “I wanted you to know how… how much I care about you and I needed that to come from me and not Scott” You told him.  Your hands laid over his, still set on your cheeks.

“I- I just- why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, and you licked your lips.

“I thought you’d be upset with me for going with the pack to fight the oni” You said.  “You’d invited me over that night… we were gonna watch movies and I told you that I was going to study on my own but.. but I lied, and I’m sorry” Your features fell, eyes downcast to the ground where you sat.  Stiles’ hands slowly fell from your face, and wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you against him in a hug.

“I forgive you” He said.  “Just no more secrets”

“Okay” You whispered.

“y/n I love you so much I would’ve lost it if you’d died that night, I’m not mad at you, I’m not mad at Scott, I just wish I could’ve been there to help” He said.

“You love me?” You asked softly, pulling away from him enough to look up into his eyes.

“Yeah of course I do” Stiles’ lips quirked up in a small smile.  “Kinda since um, today’s Thursday so…always” You smiled back, and leaned forward, pausing to look in his eyes for a short moment, before kissing his lips softly.

“I love you too Stiles” You murmured, hooking your fingers behind his neck,  “So no more secrets” You told him, and he nodded.

“I just told you my biggest one of all” He told you, grinning a little cockily, making you roll your eyes.  But you kissed him again anyways.

You suddenly forgot why you’d kept your feelings from him for so long.

tagged: @morganschiebel bc stiles imagine
xoxo ~ jordie