Dancing with the Stars, Season 25, Recap #9
The tragic thing about the semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars’ fall season is that WINTER IS COMING. Every season, I’m shocked at how quickly the season moves and then I’m smacked in the face with the reality of winter and The Bachelor.
Somehow, Drew Scott has weaseled his way to the semi-finals, but I hope that almost catching a glimpse of his taint with his Scottish tango will keep people from voting for him. Drew Scott is very pale, but nothing is as pale as Len Goodman’s atrocious trench foot from Season 22.
For his iconic dance, Drew did this jazz dance to this big band remix of Usher’s “Yeah!” and I was cringing throughout the entire thing. I mean, good job, good effort, Drew… but I’m ready to forget about that forever.
Victoria Arlen’s story on this show is shaped by her traumatic sickness, there are endless barefoot contemporary dances that can be performed to her story. In this one, Val and Jenna played Victoria’s mommy and daddy and they danced and emoted around the dance floor and the judges would have been monsters to not eat it up. Whenever I watch Dancing with the Stars and I see either the pro or the star pick up someone and have a crotch in their face, I wonder if they get a sweaty whiff. Victoria’s “iconic dance” was good and loads of fun and the kind of stuff that makes this show such a hoot.
This was the first week that I don’t want to talk about Jordan Fisher in all caps. His Argentine Tango was good and all, but I don’t think that the song paired with the inspiration for the style of dance, as it turns out, the judges felt the same way. FOR HIS ICONIC DANCE I’M TYPING IN CAPS AGAIN BECAUSE JORDAN FISHER JUST WINS GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE, HE WINS - GOOD BYE!
Lindsey Stirling is as good as Jordan Fisher at this point, but contemporary dances just don’t do it for me. Of course Mark Ballas would pick a song by his band because he’s that self-indulgent. If I was his partner and he did that to me, I’d be like “DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME!? OR DO YOU JUST WANT SOME AIR TIME FOR YOU STUPID SONG, MARK!”.
I have a confession to make, I love Calvin Harris singing songs so I was all in with Lindsey’s Tango to “Closer”. Similarly to Lindsey, I’ve always wanted to dance and have never had lessons, but unlike Lindsey, I am not flexible and I am not good at dancing.
I’m all in for normal ass dudes, like Frankie Muniz, ripping off their shirts and getting fake “Edward Cullen in New Moon” contour abs so I was loving his salsa. For his iconic dance, Frankie just looked like an angry baby with a mustache but I thought it was pretty good.
So… somehow Drew Scott is still on this show and Victoria Arlen is not. That is the way this show goes and there is nothing that will ever compete with the fervor of HGTV fans.