Dancing with the Stars Season 23 Recap #6
We’ve been #blessed for Latin Night, Pitbull is in the house and it’s not even Wednesday. Week 6 is just another victory lap for Laurie Hernandez, the girl can perform events with her gymnastics crew all week, but you know she learned that choreography from stick figures that Val drew on a cocktail napkin in the Delta Lounge. At this point, if I was in this competition, I would just hope I could stick around long enough to continue being adorned in Swarovski crystals and having people smash that like with my training photos on Instagram.
I know that I can’t be the only person t that felt super uncomfortable by Ryan Lochte’s day-glow salsa. Those weird shorts, the kneepads, the janky-ass black light body paint. It was weird. It was wrong. He was pointing at Cheryl with a long “come here” finger that looked like one of those instruction illustrations of how to give G-Spot orgasms in Cosmo. Yet, Ryan survives another week and continues to serve the most lenient suspension from USA Swimming by getting custom salsa outfits and having Pitbull smile at him with his alarmingly small teeth.
Julianne Hough borrowed Lady Gaga’s National Anthem wig from the Super Bowl, who wore it best?
I haven’t talked about Bruno Tonioli much this season, but he really impressed me with his flexibility.
No one was having more fun than this guy.
Have you ever found yourself in a position of power and you were like, how the hell did I get here? This is how I felt when I was the judge of a karaoke competition and I’m convinced that this is how Pitbull feels tonight. I bet that he chugged a 6-pack Bud Light Platinums before the show, and that is high gravity stuff. During Jana’s Argentine Tango, he managed to grope both Carrie Anne and Julianne and asked Jana to throw her wet dress at him. Gross, Pitbull, no. If there is something that has been made totally uncool within the last few weeks it’s unwanted groping.
Somehow, Maureen’s reign of emotional terror over Artem continues for another week and my favorite, Amber Rose, was eliminated. Len Goodman comes back next week, which means that law and order will be restored to the ballroom.