reality top

my experiences with overwatch characters
  • genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn
  • mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn
  • pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks
  • reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs
  • solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it
  • sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever
  • tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying
  • ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though
  • lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him
  • mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death
  • zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression
  • symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality
  • reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him
  • roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map
  • winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids
  • zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed
  • d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started
  • bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio
  • hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously
  • junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress
  • torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him
  • widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male
  • mei: fuck you to hell

I need a cooking show where the contestants are tasked with recreating fictional dishes

Like

“Make this dish that showed up in that anime one time - it looks like this and it’s slightly spicy. This is all we know” *shows big picture on a screen*

or

“Your task today is to make a health potion. It should be able to stay preserved for a week in room temperature, at least. But it’s not like we can really check that on a 1 hour show. Still, keep it in mind”

and then the old man who lives alone with two dogs and a cat wins, and the gamer and the anime nerd look at him in horror whispering “how…” to themselves

or something

but yeah I need this

Twenty one pilots is a band that will be returned to.

Because it’s true that the world will push and pull your interests. Other things may come up. New music, new musicians will be the center of your life. You’ll find yourself swept away in the tidal wave of popularity and other people. New songs will come out, you’ll live in the moment, find music, videos, movies and books that make you happy in the moment.

But even when you’ve found other things to fill your interest, there will still be those nights. The nights in which you remember what the band has done for you. When you remember that it’s the only music that truly, deeply touches your soul in a way that can’t be rivaled. 

So while our days may be filled with more places and people, music and media, twenty one pilots will still exist in the small hours of the morning when the rest of the world has left you in the dark. It will still ring loud and clear, the lyrics will still be raw and broken. You will find hope in that music, and the strength to live on.

PROOF THE WORLD REALLY DID END IN 2012 AND THE LAST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN THE SHARED DYING DREAM OF HUMANITY:

uk and portugal might actually do well at eurovision this year

Earth Sucks If You’re Poly: a NAZZ Special Report

By X’Ulililir Popoiv

On my home plane, we poly folk have a saying that translates literally to “No to be bad is for time is being making frown.” This may not make sense to humans, but it aligns closely to a phrase you use: “If it feels good, do it.”

There is nothing on this world that makes my fellow poly Hambrosians and I feel good. It’s not so much about discrimination; we’re used to that. And we know discrimination is one of the only things humans do well. So in a way, it’s an honor to be the target of human disgust.

But hate aside, it’s time to face facts: Earth is the WORST place to be, if you’re a polydimensional being.

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Alternate Universes exist in our reality too? HUH! Guess that explains memories I don’t recall….. 9//w//9

mystolengrace  asked:

Hi. Do you happen to know any reality tv show AUs? I've read a few and I really like them. Thanks!

We surely do! And it seems we have enough to make a mini fic rec list. The fics are pulled from following tags - celebrity, food, love hate

All links go to our reviews unless mentioned otherwise. The reality TV show title or genre mentioned in brackets.

I. fics inspired by reality TV


New recs!

Artistic Freedom of Connect the Dots by masked [T, 4,900 word count] 
[The Bachelorette] 

Who would’ve thought that anyone would find actual, genuine, bonafide love on an all American reality TV dating game show? 
Certainly, not Dean Winchester.

Around the World in 24 Days by MittenWraith [M, 101,300 word count]
[The Amazing Race] dcbb 2016 

Dean and Cas might rather forget the traumatic events that brought them into the public eye, but with the help of their friends and family they’ve turned a terrifying experience into a resource of hope and help to others. In the process, they’ve attracted a little bit of attention from an ambitious TV producer who, after discovering Dean’s fear of flying and the fact that Dean and Cas are planning their upcoming wedding, thinks the best present for Dean, Cas, and all of their friends is to send them on a truly incredible honeymoon. Oh, and a lot of airplanes.

Make It Work! by AngelOfTheMoor [T, 68,500 word count] [Project Runaway]

By some miracle, Dean Winchester has been selected for the latest season of Project Runway. Now, he just has to prove that being a mechanic/self-taught designer from Kansas doesn’t mean he has no talent or taste. Oh, and he has to tolerate the presence of the stuck-up Castiel Novak. Not to mention the loads of drama he must deal with. Can he survive the show, and, against all odds, win?

Queer Eye for the “Straight” Guy by JessJesstheBest [Gen, 7,000 word count] [Queer Eye for the Straight Guy] ace!cas

“Hi, and welcome to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: celebrity edition. Where instead of the Fab Five, who are all experts in their fields, you have me, Dean Winchester, a bisexual hockey player who is slightly above average at these things.”
“Today’s victim is Castiel Novak: world renowned entymologist specializing in honey bees. His latest research publication is receiving all kinds of awards so he’s going to have a little celebration tonight. That’s where I’m here to help.”

We Create the Headlines by punkascas (earlwyn) [M, 15,000 word count]

In which Supernatural is a reality show, Dean Winchester is a closeted reality star hounded by tabloids, and the author gets a little meta. 
Or: The one where Dean starts to suspect he’s a terrible boyfriend, and Cas disagrees.


II. fics from our Pretend Boyfriends tag with fake performance vibe that is so popular with reality TV fics

Remember that the Trump administration is all gaslighting all the time. They’re constantly saying things that aren’t true to try and make us doubt our reality, emotionally and mentally fatigue us, and waste our time by arguing with them when they have no intention of ever acknowledging reality. On top of the trauma of fascists being in charge of the nation, this is triggering to those of us who have endured this kind of abuse in the past or are currently enduring it.

That’s why I’m encouraging people not to engage. Don’t try to argue against their lies. They know they’re lying and they’re doing it to hurt us. As much as you may want to, save your energy, refuse to play their abusive game.