real-hope

8

And the last of the (albeit belated) palette requests! I really had a buncha fun with these, so thank you for all your lovely requests! I really oughta work with more colors, so this was super helpful!

CHANBAEK BONUS MEMES

It’s just a simple picture, but how will the world react to it?

(fml i used 3 fuckin hours to do this gosh….) I didn’t even know all these shits just waste my life so much… but it’s worth it tho~ and btw, Dispatch being Dispatch again like they literally use couple items to state someone is dating..pfft way to go Dispatch. and maybe i failed at doing the sasaeng’s ver. but it’s okay cause i ain’t a sasaeng so i can’t imagine sasaeng’s thought

Free to share out but don’t forget to credit me ✌

About Dean and Romantic love

So despite valiantly trying to stay positive after the finale, I confess that I was down about how it played out. I stayed away from tumblr for a day or two because I was upset. I know it was ridiculous to expect any explicit Destiel stuff to happen, and I tried real hard not to hope too much but I guess it wasn’t enough. Excuse my numerous spelling and grammar errors.

Anyway, @mostly10 came to my rescue with that AMAZING cockles video and I perked up right after, because how can anyone not? :) Anyway, that video sort of pushed the finale pain away for me so I could sit and think about things and I just wanted to share this. 

I’m sorry to make this post all about ME and play my tiny violin and I’ll make this short but I grew up with two parents who loathe each other (yes, they are still together, divorce is strict NO-NO for my community!) and all the other marriages I saw were toxic as hell too. I grew up with an extremely negative view on relationships, and was exceedingly close to my own little brother because it felt like we were the only two people in the world, he was the ONLY one who could understand what I felt like when my dad decided to be an asshole to our mother. Anyway, I grew up wanting a relationship and simultaneously bolting if anyone tried to have one with me. I’ve tried to work through my issues, and I’m married now, but some of my toxic relationship behaviors have persisted, and sometimes I know I’m deliberately sabotaging things for myself. Anyway, as I said, enough about me. I only brought it up because among all three of these wonderful guys, I love Cas the most, but I identify with Dean. I have all his bad qualities (and unfortunately none of his good ones) Maybe that’s why I’m so invested in his happiness.

Take a look at Dean. As a child, his most powerful early relationship model was his parents’ and Mary dies horribly. His father changes from what looked like an easy-going, loving dad to a drill sergeant. The other models he has- Bobby, Pastor Jim etc. seem to have either no significant romantic relationships or have partner’s who have died. And the sort of life they lead, moving from place to place, developing no links to anyone else, constantly witnessing arguments between Sam and his father, I’m not surprised at Dean’s co-dependent relationship with Sam. Sam’s relationship with Dean is equally unhealthy, but he seems to be able to cope just a bit better with their crap childhood than Dean, actually stepping out of their comfort zone to make new relationships of his own. 

I’m sure Dean fell apart when Sam left. But at least he still had his father, and I’m assuming somewhere along the way he met Cassie. Dean is naturally the type to crave relationships with people, he wants to be needed, to be loved. He tried reaching out for Cassie (which is a HUGE step for him) and got effectively stomped in the heart. It just confirmed to him what John was unconsciously always drilling to him, you can’t trust anyone other than family, you can’t love anyone else. 

Dean proceeds to get Sam back hunting with him, and in Season one he was positively needy. Look at the way he keeps discouraging Sam to leave, the way he keeps telling Sam he can’t be normal. I don’t think he meant to hurt Sam, I don’t think he even released how much Sam resented being part of it. The girls he slept with fulfilled his physical need for affection, but Sam fulfilled all of Dean’s emotional needs at that point- the need for friendship, acceptance for who he is, to be needed, to protect and be protected, to love and be loved, everything. This is why he couldn’t let him go. After John dies, Dean’s hold on Sam became even more desperate (Sam has his equal share in co-dependency here, but this post is about Dean, so I’ll ignore that) 

I mean, even Dean’s deal- he was willing to go to hell than be without Sam. Sam is the center of his world, and Dean cannot even contemplate an existence without him. This is pure and selfless, but when Sam asks him if Dean’s thought what the consequence of Dean going to hell will do to him, Dean is speechless. He really hadn’t thought of it. This is not just loving a person deeply enough to die for them, it’s also needing a person so much you cannot exist without them. 

Into all this deeply emotional mess, Cas shows up. In my headcanon, Dean is instantly attracted to him, but doesn’t act on it. By the end of Season 5 though, Cas is a close friend and ally, something Dean has NEVER had before. Somewhere along the way, he’s started to need Cas too, and Cas has started to fulfill some or most of the emotional needs that Sam usually does. In Season 5, Dean actually functions properly briefly without Sam, something that wouldn’t have happened before. 

Sam falls into hell in front of Dean, and where Season 2 Dean would have broken to pieces, Season 5 Dean is still able to think about living on after Cas shows up alive. And then he leaves, not noticing Dean’s tentative request for him to stay. For Dean, this was a massive blow, because essentially Cas chose heaven over him. To be fair to Cas, Dean only asked him what he was going to do, and he answered honestly enough. Dean goes to Lisa, lives a strange mechanical life, pining for his brother and Cas. He wasn’t really happy or satisfied. He liked Lisa well enough, maybe even loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her. I’m putting myself out and saying that if Cas had stayed, he would have been with him, because he’s IN LOVE WITH CAS, even if doesn’t know it.

Dean’s excessively emotional reactions to Cas not responding like he used to in Season 6 also mirror a scorned lover’s more than just a miffed friend. Dean is insecure, he wants people around him, yet is always afraid something will go wrong,he hates himself and thinks himself responsible for every bad thing that happens. We can see how desperately he wanted to believe Cas wasn’t betraying them, in the face of overwhelming evidence, how he almost deliberately screwed up the wards so Cas can show up to talk. SO when Cas did come, he tries to pull him to his side by using the only line he knows to express affection. 

“You are like a brother to me” 

To Dean, this is the pinnacle to affection. He has never told anyone he loves them. He’s never told Cassie or Lisa that they are his family. He doesn’t know how to place someone higher than brother, because mind you, that’s all he has ever seen. John got someone pregnant FGS, he had another son, and still didn’t stop hunting obsessively. Any time Dean or anyone around him has tried out a serious romantic relationship, it’s gone up in flames (John/Mary, Bobby/Karen, Dean/Cassie, Dean/Lisa, Sam/Jess) The only constant in his life is his brother Sam. Dean wants Cas to be a constant too, and so he pulls out his only ace, the only one he is sure may work to keep Cas with him.

He does this again with brainwashed!Cas, maybe not the brother word exactly, but family. And now again, because, fundamentally for Dean-

Familial love>Romantic love.

And no amount of almost deaths from either of them will make him cross that line with Cas, simply because the more things get strained, the tighter he’ll cling to the time-tested relationship model. When Dean uses the word brother it’s not in the dismissive bro way, it’s the all-encompassing you are my whole world way. 

If things are ever going to move forward, Dean needs to heal first. To let go of his deep-seated fears, his extreme self-loathing and preconceived notions and open his eyes to the various types of love. He needs to have Cas around regularly to eel secure of him again. Much as I want to see it, it’ll probably never be a passionate first kiss when the world is falling apart for these two. It’ll be a sweet gentle one on a random Thursday in the bunker kitchen, with rain falling outside and unwashed dishes in the sink.   

you know i’ve been thinking about the “open ending” in the finale and i’m just??? what exactly are they planning?

(basically a novel behind the read more, don’t read if you don’t want to be seeing some discussion regarding lexa) 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ladrien, mega nachos

(this ficlet is brought to you by cybersix, sailor moon, and @crispypata)

—-

Marinette could almost hear the enraged sputters of Adrien’s nutritionist as he picked up another gooey, topping-heavy tortilla chip. Already, the plate of mega-sized nachos was half-gone, tucked away in what Marinette was beginning to suspect was a miniature black hole hidden in Adrien’s stomach.

He took a large bite and, just like last night, his nose wiggled as he chewed.

Marinette, just like last night, thought it was too adorable for words.

Adrien swallowed and continued, “She came in through my window a few minutes before Eurovision started. And she brought food for both of us! From Quick!” He sighed as he rested his head on his hand, gaze dreamy as he picked up another chip. “I can’t believe I got to share my first Quick burger with Ladybug.”

If Adrien kept talking about her in that tone of voice, Marinette would end up rolling him to their next date.

“Did you know she likes to dip her fries in ketchup and mayo?” Adrien gushed, oblivious to how close his chip’s toppings were to falling.

“R-really?” Marinette replied, trying to control her blush.

“Yes, really! I didn’t even know you could—whoops!

As Adrien rushed to clean his spilled nacho, Marinette took a sip of her soda to calm herself.

When she learned that Adrien was in love with Ladybug, she had a choice. She could keep trying to win Adrien’s affections as Marinette… or she could offer to wingman for Adrien and set him up with Ladybug.

While Marinette was thrilled with the results of option B, she hadn’t predicted some of the consequences.

Wait, let me show you some photos from our date,” Adrien said excitedly. “Look—isn’t she wonderful?”

Marinette choked.

On his phone screen was Ladybug, burger-in-hand, frozen in the middle of an enormous bite.