I just remembered that when I was a kid I put serious thought into an idea for an edgy villainy themed department store, like as a genuine career goal I devised to be completely within the realm of possibility and if I remember correctly my idea included:

  • Satirical ads and signage just bragging about being a soulless corporation
  • Scary uniforms with optional helmets for employees
  • Only sinister music ever plays
  • Large, obvious security cameras with visible laser sights
  • Menacing but technically correct signage, like “corpse flesh” for meats
  • A pet section with only snakes, spiders, scorpions and piranhas
  • A moat outside with live alligators. Bass Pro fishing shops already actually do this so why not.
  • Overwhelmingly large horror dvd selection, all other genres condensed into a smaller section presented kinda like the weenie hut from spongebob
  • “Skeletons” as an entire department
  • Carnivorous plant nursery in the garden section
  • The store holds very frequent raffles and contests but the prize is always knives

My reasoning besides it being fun was that everyone was probably sick to death of businesses pretending to be wholesome and caring about you and people are also just bored in general so the spectacle itself might pay for the cost of its gimmicks and actually all the regular items would be as cheap as possible

“This was it.

Your last chance to say something, before we parted forever.

You didn’t…of course you didn’t.

Silly me, to think this time it would be different.”

- now all that’s left to say is goodbye

6

this park in oregon is like the kind of convoluted nonsense you see in dreams and aren’t sure how to describe in regular terms

“uhh so like I stepped off the road into like, this little path going into the bushes and it turned into this network of stairs and ramps sorta nailed together out of all this old, decrepit wood, with like a half-finished ceiling, and then it came out under this big giant sliced-off waterspout dumping onto a beach with some pieces of mountain all over it”

“Thank you.

For those brief moments of happiness.

Even if they only lasted for a very short time, I still loved every second of them.”

- I’ll miss you forever

When people walk away from you, let them go. You shouldn’t have to talk them into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, or coming to see you … For if they really cared about you in the first place, they would not be going anywhere.

Ya’ll don’t think shipping is a force for good in this world?

Today I was in a Starbucks with a new friend of mine. We were talking about Thor Ragnarok and I went off on my usual rant about how I wanna be the Grandmaster when I grow up because he:

A, is georgous.

B, runs his own trash planet.

C, has the most beautiful trophy twink ever (aka Loki).

And just as I was finishing the last point a random gay sitting at the next table just turned around full of enthusiasm and went “YES!!!”.

We all made friends, chatted and swapped fb. It was a fantastic platonic gay moment in real life that cut through the normal isolating bullshit. Because no matter how much you aren’t supposed to just make friends with strangers the power of ships overrides that.

P.s. Said new friend and me had super connected earlier on spideypool and with this new guy we also talked about Stucky. Gay nerd power ftw!

The Cold Hard Truth about working in Fast Food

-Working My First 8 Hour Shift-

Me: *sweating and taking a deep breath* Woo, it’s been about 5 hours now, I can’t wait to take my break.

Co-worker: Did you say a break? What time did you come in today?

Me: i came in at 7

Co-Worker: What time do you clock out?

Me: At 3

Co-Worker:

Me: Whats so funny?

Co-Worker: The fact that you think you’re getting a break

Me: Well usually around this time i clock out to go home. So im expecting to get a break soon so I can sit for a lil

Co-Worker: 8 hour shifts don’t get breaks

Me: You’re so funny bro

Co-Worker: Dude i’m serious..

Co-Worker: only double shifts get breaks. Not 8 hour shifts

Me:

Me: I’ve literally been running back and forth cleaning, taking orders, delivering food, and restocking items for 5 hours straight, without sitting.

Me: This has to be against the law or something??

Co-Worker:

*Manager Comes Up Front*

Me: Bill!

Me: Is it true that we don’t get any breaks?!

Bill: That’s nonsense of course you get breaks

Bill: How many hours are you working today? 

Me: 8

Bill:

Bill: *Speed Walks to the backroom*

Me: Bill…

Me: BILL!!

Customer: Excuse me sir, I’d like to place an order

Me Glaring at the Customer:

Look, idk if different jobs have different breaks depending on the circumstances or whatever. But i do know that after that day I realized that doing something just for money would not make me happy…

That job became irritating from that day forward