real male

Male socialization is a thing. Male socialization is people born male being brought up and shaped according to certain norms to uphold and reinforce male domination and, by extension, patriarchy. Male socialization is men being taught they are entitled to certain things even at the expense of others. Male socialization is men being taught they have a right to all and every space, physical as well as verbal, and that their voices must always matter over everyone else’s. Male socialization is men being taught that others (children and women) have an obligation to obey them and/or to never challenge them, talk back or be of another opinion. Male socialization is men being taught their feelings and opinions are objective truth while anything women say, however much backed up by facts, studies and analyses, are subjective and irrational and emotional nonsense. Male socialization is a thing, it is real, and male people will pose a threat to and uphold the oppression of women and children as long as they are prepared to benefit from it at the expense of others and as long as they don’t examine their socialization, the way it expresses itself and work to rid themselves of it.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.