real life has gotten really bad

Secret Empire #0 Thoughts (Spoilers)

Previously: The Red Skull used Korbik (a sentient cosmic cube that sometimes takes a child’s form) to turn Captain America into a bad guy. Captain America is now a loyal agent of Hydra an evil organization that is sometimes Nazi affiliated and sometimes not depending on who is writing. Captain America planned a bunch of bad stuff behind everyone’s back.  Captain America turned on his evil master.  Red Skull desperate to make Cap stop admitted that Captain America that his new history (that we saw in extensive flashbacks over many issues) was all lies he made up. Captain America doesn’t care because he’s EEEEVIL! He kills Red Skull and sets out to take over the world… his way! This took 15 fricking issues to get to.  Meanwhile we learned that Nick Spencer should really stay off twitter.

Notes: Despite the bad reaction Spencer’s Cap run has gotten I’m actually a fan of most of Nick Spencer’s work. Superior Foes of Spider-Man is of one the best comics of the last decade and the The Fix is hilarious. His run on the two Captain America runs are really mixed bags.  The first two arcs of “Captain America: Sam Wilson” are really good but Spencer struggled trying to deal with real life politics in the later issues. As for the eeeeeevil Captain America book well… it’s better than painful fever dream of Rick Remender’s Captain America book. I’m going to try to be fair and optimistic going into this one.

  • Our story opens with a World War II flashback in of Hydra Cap in the mountains of Japan meeting with Kraken an obscure villain from Jonathan Hickman’s Secret Warriors. Hydra’s secret base looks like the Legends of the Hidden Temple set. Kraken tells Captain America that the Allie will use the Cosmic Cube (not Korbik but another one) to change reality so that Hydra doesn’t take over the world. He says they’re going to change his memories and no matter what he must not forget he’s a Hydra Agent. Of course we know all of these new World War II memories are bullshit so… they’re either illusions or maybe Kraken was manipulating Steve the whole time or… uuuugh. I am three pages in and I have a headache!
  • We now have a flow chart of characters. I know Secret War did the same thing but… hoo-boy. That’s a bad sign.
  • We cut to modern day.  Cap is at S.H.I.E.L.D command with Sharon Carter.  We learn that a Chitari (those aliens from the first Avengers movie) invasion is headed towards Earth.  But the Planetary Defense shield is down.  Wasn’t there a whole other organization called S.W.O.R.D that handled this? Where is Abigail Brand?
  • We see the Guardians of the Galaxy and The Ultimates fighting aliens in space.  I am wondering why most of the focus isn’t on this and is instead on S.H.I.E.L.D HQ?  Daniel Acuña draws pretty fight scenes. Let him do that!
  • Meanwhile a boatload of supervillians lead by Gravitron are attacking New York and the Defenders are fighting them.  Unfortunately more of the focus is on S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. So we’re mostly watching EVIL Cap and Sharon watching all the action.
  • Meanwhile Hydra has invaded the country of Sokovia the country that Ultron completely destroyed back in Kurt Busiek’s run.  I know it’s played a role in Specer’s run but shouldn’t it just be all empty space and dead Ultron drones now?
  • The narrator is REALLY going out of his way to tell us what a brilliant strategist Hydra Cap is and how all of these couldn’t have happened by coincidence.  It’s sort of like how every three pages in Avengers Arena someone says “gee Arcade is really a clever villain now. He sure thought of everything.”
  • Back in space Quasar is eaten by a space whale.  I should be upset at the apparent death of a new superhero but like… this HAS to be a set-up for her to punch her way out of the belly of a space whale an issue or two later. Right? I mean why would you waste an opportunity for an awesome action scene?
  • I just realized that Hydra Cap planning his scheme while the heavy hitters are in space is a LOT like the plot of Infinity.  Also the whole novelty of an EVIL Captain America story would have been a lot more at home in Axis.  Remember how Tony Stark was eeeeeevil for a year and no one cared?
  • Now Nitro shows up while the Defenders are fighting and Jessica Jones throws him high into the air while he triggers an explosion that looks like a homage to the opening of Civil War.  This comic is turning into a greatest hits album of other comic crossovers.
  • The Secretary of Defense gives Captain America full control over the U.S. Military and Law Enforcement thanks to a new act of congress so everything bad from here on out is caused by an ill conceived piece of legislation… just like Civil War!
  • The defense shield is turned on locking aliens out and the Defenders get backup from the Uncanny Avengers. Things are looking up for the heroes.
  • Suddenly a heli-carrier crashes into S.H.I.E.L.D HQ and a bunch Hydra mooks show up. Only the S.H.I.E.L.D guards aren’t fighting back because Dr Faustus is brainwashing everyone.  I should have mentioned before this whole mess started that the Red Skull had psychic mindscrew powers and dude whose sole power was brainwashing people working for him.  If you really wanted to do a Captain America is EVIL story the whole cosmic cube and prolonged elaborate false history flashbacks are kind of superfluous.
  • Captain America orders the Hydra Guards and the mind controlled S.H.I.E.L.D guys to take Sharon Carter prisoner.  Sharon is not under Faustus’ control despite the fact that if I had a drink for the number of stories where Sharon Carter was mind controlled I’d be drunk.  Sharon thinks Cap is being controlled by Faustus but…

  •  A Hydra guy is just standing there and has this slackjawed look like “I can’t believe this shit.”  I’m going to pretend he’s Bob from Deadpool. Bob’s presence is the most entertaining thing about this book so far.
  • I could be reading “The Button” right now.  That comic has Batman fighting Professor Zoom AND Flash fighting Samurai Robots… Samurai Robots!  And it doesn’t have walls and walls of exposition text…
  • Iron Men Riri Williams and Force Ghost Tony Stark (it’s a long story) discover someone has sabotaged the planetary defense shield and Hydra guys attack them. Just as it looks like we’re going to get a good fight it cuts away.
  • On Space Skype Captain America reveals to Captain Marvel that wave after wave of Chitari are coming and he’s keeping them walled off outside with fierce alien warriors to their doom.  Cue Cliffhanger #1.
  • Tony Stark and Riri Williams just beat up all the Hydra Guys OFF CAMERA!  We’ve got like a bazillion action scenes going on and NONE of them are given any time to breath under these unending walls of exposition text.
  • Hey it’s HELMUT ZEMO!  Which Zemo is it… the morally complex anti-villian/anti-hero from Thunderbolts? Is it the Cobra Commander-esc idiot from Avengers Undercover? A combination of the two? I don’t know because he has all of three panels in this issue.
  • Zemo and a guy named Blackout (not the Ghost Rider Villian) have stolen the book of Darkhold.  Does anyone remember Darkhold: Pages from the Book of Sins?  It was like this early 90s quasi-horror comic about this cursed book whose pages granted evil monkey paw wishes and the people who made those wishes usually turned into monsters. Plus there was an evil dwarf.  Like that you should be revamping that into something so if you wanted Peter Dinklage to be a villain in a Marvel movie.  Oh and there were people called The Darkhold Redeemers who were trying to stop the Dwarf and one of them was a lesbian and this was like long before LGTB representation was anywhere near common in comics.  Dude I want a Darkhold Redeemers comic.
  • So Zemo and an obscure Avengers villian named Blackout (who looks like the poor man’s Electro) use the Darkhold to banish New York City isolating it under a Dark Force dimension dome.  It’s like when the Hand sealed off Hell’s Kitchen in Shadowland but bigger.  ANOTHER crossover callback.  Cliffhanger #2.
  • Tony deducts that the next target of attack is going to be Washington DC he calls for The Avengers (several teams worth), The Champions, and Spider-Man (who I guess wasn’t in New York.)  We get some big epic hero arrival poses that would look great if they weren’t crammed into TINY… TINY panels.
  • Back in Washington an army of Hydra Helicarriers loom ominously over the White House. Hey do you remember the C-Plot from Fear Itself.  When Skadi’s Army attacked Washington but no-one cared because the rest of the book was about fighting monsters with Evil Thor Hammers? ANOTHER CALLBACK!
  • This the B-side of a Marvel Comics Crossovers Greatest Hits Album. Side A is about 70% tracks from Secret War, the Worthy stuff from Fear Itself and a trio of tracks from Civil War, Secret Invasion, and House of M. that were popular at the time but doesn’t hold up.
  • The nicest thing I can say about this comic is that Daniel Acuña’s art is really good and if anything this is one of the best looking bad comics I’ve ever read.
  • Despite the involvement of Hydra and the 40s flashback EVIL Cap doesn’t really come across as a Nazi at all and just a generic “take over the world” badguy.  On one hand that kind of seems to be Marvel backing away from the obvious “Cap is a Nazi” angle that was making people uncomfortable and angry and yet on the other hand it’s also backing away from the “America is more messed up than we thought” allegory that could actually make a point this time.  Spencer isn’t the guy to be doing that kind of project though.  Not sure who I could see doing that and making such a gut punch work. Grant Morrison or Kyle Baker maybe?
  • If this is any indication it’s going to be a loooooong six months.  Maybe I should be polishing off my “Rikki Barnes: The Winter Soldier” pitch.
Something Blue (BTVS 4.09)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

I loved that Something Blue allowed us to sympathize with both sides of the Willow vs. Scoobies conflict. I’m annoyed when Willow snaps at everyone and interrupts Buffy and Riley’s date, which forces me to recognize truth when Willow says no one wants to deal with her heartbreak anymore. The episode was also really funny.

We discover in the first scene that Willow has been going to Oz’s place alone. She’s clinging to the relationship and fully expects him to return. This is also when Riley and Buffy really get going, which has to be a painful reminder for Willow. I had forgotten about Willow and Buffy’s conversation in the graveyard and in hindsight find it pretty sad. Some of Buffy’s issues with Riley were already present but she basically never dealt with them. I don’t believe the implosion of their relationship was all on Riley. I think he sensed some real issues but just handled it all wrong. 

Buffy: Riley seems so solid. Like he’s not the type to give a girl grief.

Willow: Get out. Get out while there's still time.

Buffy: I know. I gotta get over the whole bad boy thing. There’s no good there. Seeing Angel in L.A. - even for five minutes - hello to the pain.

Willow: The pain is not a friend.

Buffy: But then I can’t help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? It’s nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with lots of pain and fighting-

I’ve never gotten the bad boy thing. It’s all cool on television but in real life it’s dealing with a serial cheater at best and visiting a jail at worst. No, thanks. Anyway Buffy definitely has a thing with it which, if I wanted to get analytical, would say goes back to her father and her fear of healthy relationships. Riley could have been forever and committing to that is scary. But when you know Angel or Spike can’t last you don’t really have to commit or face your fears of ending up like your mother. I think Buffy has a lot of issues with Hank (made worse by her first relationship being a nightmare) that go unresolved. I’m not saying Riley and Buffy would have lasted forever, but I don’t think she ever really gave that idea a chance. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I am never going to understand how some parts of Tumblr think they're being super progressive and then they go super conservative rigid morality

It’s literally just age and/or inexperience, I wouldn’t call it real conservatism at all, it’s more “I haven’t learned that people can have different opinions and not be a bad person, just different” or to the worst extreme “I don’t know how to deal when I dont get my way”.

It’s the black and white mentality everyone has when they’re young and passionate about something. It’s forgivable and even understandable, just really cringe inducing for everyone else who has gotten past that part of their life.


so uh, here’s another announcement i guess

i’ve been having a really hard time in and out of real life, which has progressively gotten worse and worse, and i don’t really know what to do about it. my situation’s kinda difficult. so uh, i kinda gotta take a break (again) and try to figure myself out and what the hell to do to keep me from doing bad things to others and myself.

if anybody needs/wants me, which is unlikely to happen, i’ll be lurking around the discord chat, just @ my role/username or dm me either one is fine

so um, see you guys when i do i guess. 


~xmod j

Life Update

Hey guys~

It’s been awhile and I’ve been debating on whether or not I should even post anything, but I’ve decided to go ahead and let you all know why I’ve been quiet lately.

I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. I’ve never really been quiet about this on my personal blog or in real life. For the last two months my depression has slowly been getting worse. I’ve had no energy to do anything but sleep. I go to work, come home, go to sleep and wake up for enough time to eat something before going back to bed. This has been my life for a few months now.

I will not hide the fact that I have reached a dark place and have done some things I am not proud of.

Lately my depression has gotten so bad that I haven’t been able to draw at all. I’ve had no energy for it, I’ve felt uninspired, and the thought of drawing hasn’t brought me any happiness. I tried drawing the other day and ended up crying. For the first time in my entire life, I told myself that I should give up on art. I’ve been drawing for over thirteen years.

I have been eating fast food nearly every day as a coping method for the empty feeling I have and I have even been stress eating in my /sleep/. However, when I went to the doctor two days ago I found that I had not gained weight but I have actually lost over 10 lbs.

I am currently looking for a new job because I am certain that it is the main source for my stress and a large contributor to why I am at this level in my mental state.

I am taking steps to get help, and I have been given resources to help me by my doctor and others.

I appreciate your understanding and patience with me as I am going through this. I am trying to get back into drawing and I hope to try to do some stuff these next few days as I have a long weekend off from work.

Thank you all for your support ✨


A Message to Fanfic Writers/Readers

There’s been a surprising level of immaturity regarding mature style fics in the fandom, and it’s been affecting all off the ships. Perhaps its due to the gaping age difference in the fandom. Older people tend to write older, more mature, suggestive fics, that have elements in them such as non-con, and underage, and other things that younger people would be uncomfortable with.

Though perhaps it has nothing to do with age, really, because I’ve seen suggestive themes vary between the ages, so it has a lot more to do with maturity  (which, I suppose, does come with age, especially on tumblr).

First, let’s start with non-con.

People write non-con in fanfiction, that’s something that is never going to change, whether  you like it or not. However, it’s not your job to shame someone, or spam them with hate anon because you don’t like it. People write non-con for various reasons, and whatever reasons they do it for, is up to them.  
But it’s not up to you to judge them for writing non-con, or call them disgusting. If you don’t like non-con, if you aren’t’ a fan, then don’t read the person’s works, skip them, black list them, etc.

If you feel offended by non-con, and continue to read it, then you’re at fault for that, not the writer, not anyone else, just you. The immaturity isn’t in the aspect that you don’t like non-con. If you don’t like non-con, that’s okay.

That’s understandable, it’s completely understandable. However, what is immature is harassing authors who write this kind of stuff. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, skip it and ignore it.

The same could be said for underage fics. No, people who write underage, such as AyatoXKaneki aren’t pedophiles, calling them that is immature, and rude. By that logic, people who write non-con are rapist, people who write abusive fics are abusive themselves, and so on…

These people don’t condone underage either, they don’t go out and have sex with underage people, they don’t. For some people, it’s a fetish, for some people, it’s just a genre they like. It may seem wrong to a lot of us, but as long as they’re not hurting anyone, as long as they’re putting trigger warnings up, as long as they’re warning readers, then let them write what they want to write.

All in all, most of you need to know how to discern fiction from reality. I write non-con in fiction, I’ve done so for a very long time. That doesn’t mean I condone rape in real life at all, and I never will.

Perhaps it’s our expose. When I was in 3rd grade (by the way, I’m in 12th grade now) the first ever fanfiction I accidentally stumbled on happened to be non-con, torture, and angst. Ever since then, that has been my favorite genre. I’ve struggled with it as i’ve gotten older, and for a short time, I thought I was a bad person for writing non-con. But I looked at myself…and really…i’m not..a bad person. I don’t condone these things in real life at all, but it’s just been something that’s interested me since I’ve been young. But that doesn’t make me, or any other non-con writer that writes about rape a rapist, nor about abuse an abusive person, or about underage a pedophile.

This why it’s fiction, because we keep it in fiction. Learn that, and respect if. Again, if you have a problem with it, then ignore it, block it, black list it, etc.  If you’re unable to do that, than the consequences of you reading it will be your fault, including your own immaturity.  

Thank you,


not to like worry you all but my depression has gotten REALLY bad lately and i’m a bit worried about myself…. not in a life-threatened way just in a like. i’m probably gonna self isolate and risk friendships and my list of important things with deadlines is getting longer because i keep not doing them so i’m about to fuck up the next 12 months, minimum, and i haven’t found real enjoyment in anything for a while and my room’s probably gonna get messy again which is just. annoying.

Nick Jonas: ‘I Love My Gay Fans!’

In September, partiers on New York’s gay club circuit were treated to an unexpected sight: Nick Jonas, performing “Jealous,” the sexy hit single from his self-titled solo debut (due Nov. 10 on Island) and flashing his abs in a mini-strip tease.

“I love my gay fans!” exclaims the 22-year-old former Jonas Brothers star, weeks after he pulled the stunt at Manhattan clubs Up & Down and BPM. “All my gay friends were thanking me for having gone out there as a heterosexual male. I don’t see it that much – more people should do it.”

Oh, how the littlest JoBro has grown. Jonas and his brothers Joe, 25, and Kevin, 27, came up with a golden generation of Disney Channel babies that includes ex-girlfriend Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez, not to mention the whole High School Musical gang. But that age of curly-haired innocence is long gone now.

“It feels like a different life,” says Jonas. “I fell on the Disney Channel two months ago, and it was like a whole new world. It was just like, 'Wow. The journey ahead for all of you…’ ”

Jonas’ journey has taken some turns recently, ones that were impossible to predict back in his tween-heartthrob days. In 2013 the Jonas Brothers split; now, with his self-titled solo debut and “Jealous,” which is at No. 28 on the Billboard Hot 100 dated Nov. 15, Jonas has left his teenybopper days behind, transforming into an sultry soul-pop man, part Miguel, part Justin Timberlake. Of course, it helps that Jonas isn’t bad to look at: The singer, who’s diabetic, has been showing off the buff bod he honed to play a mixed-martial-arts fighter in his gritty new series Kingdom (currently airing on DirecTV). But over lunch at a bistro in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood, Jonas – dressed in a black-and-white flannel shirt and black skinny jeans – looks more unassuming than the crotch-grabbing, butt-crack-flashing hunk who channeled Mark Wahlberg’s iconic Calvin Klein underwear ads in a buzzed-about Flaunt magazine shoot in October.

“I sent the pictures to my parents the day I did the shoot,” says the singer, who still looks somewhat boyish in person. “My dad was like, 'You know you got that from me, right?’ He was proud more than anything.”

Befitting his new studly status, Jonas now has a beauty-queen girlfriend in Olivia Culpo, 22 – the 2012 Miss USA and Miss Universe – who appears in the “Jealous” video and inspired the song. “We were at a bar, and this guy kept staring at her, [for] uncomfortably long,” explains Jonas. “The next day I went in the studio and started [thinking] about the night before. It was like, 'That’s the song we need to write today!’ The song wrote itself. It was done within an hour.”

But breaking up the Jonas Brothers – who sold 4.5 million albums, according to Nielsen SoundScan, and landed 17 Hot 100 hits before splitting with their longtime label, Disney’s Hollywood Records, in 2012 – was much more complicated. The trio planned a comeback album and tour, but canceled both – the latter just two days before it was supposed to start in November 2013. “There is a deep rift within the band,” their spokesman told People at the time. “There was a big disagreement over their musical direction.”

It turns out that Nick prompted the disagreement. “The moment for me came last summer,” says Jonas, who had previously ventured from the JoBros in a side project with The Administration on 2010’s Who I Am, which hinted at the R&B flavor of his new album. “I had to have a conversation to tell them where my head was at. I felt limited. I just wasn’t feeling like we were vibing together anymore, and thought that our relationship as brothers might get complicated if we continued on that path. It was a tough conversation, of course, and it was a couple days of picking up the pieces. But once communication opened up and we started talking, we realized everyone felt the same way.”

Now, while Nick is taking off with “Jealous,” Kevin will star in the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice; Joe has been DJ'ing and hitting the fashion circuit, co-hosting Fashion Rocks Live’s 2014 backstage show. Is there any brotherly jealousy of Nick’s musical success? “Honestly, I don’t know,” says Jonas, speaking in measured tones. “I feel like they’re excited for me. I’ve played them the music, and they seem to like it. Any time you transition out of one thing to another, there are moments of complication, but I have respect for them and the way they’ve supported me, because I know that it’s tough.”

This isn’t the first time he has walked alone. Before the New Jersey-raised family band formed, an 11-year-old Jonas was signed as a solo artist to Sony Music Group by David Massey, who is now president of Jonas’ label, Island Records. “The first call that I got after my brothers and I closed that chapter was Massey,” recalls Jonas. “It’s pretty wild that we’re back together again after so much time.”

From the very beginning, Massey saw something special in the precocious Jonas, who began singing in Broadway musicals including Les Miserables and Beauty and the Beast at age 6: “He was like a little grown man when he was 11. He was already such an old soul.” And Massey has big plans for his artist’s future: “I see him being a staple male global superstar like Justin Timberlake or George Michaelwas in the '80s. There haven’t been enough of those complete-package superstars on the male side. Nick is a triple threat: He’s a real singer, he’s a real songwriter and musician, and he’s a great actor.”

Despite growing up in the spotlight, Jonas has so far not gotten into any real trouble, making his metamorphosis even more startling. No Justin Bieber bad behavior from him – well, at least not in public. “I’ve had my drunk nights with people I love who protect me, so there’s that,” he admits. “Earlier in life I carried this pressure – a lot of people were affected by my decisions. But I realized that was a really unhealthy way to live because you have to make some bad choices and do some dumb shit to know who you are. So I just said, 'I’m going to live my life and have fun.’ ”

Which is presumably why Jonas is now more likely to be seen dancing on top of a bar between two male dancers in their underwear than singing sweetly on the Disney Channel. “There has been an effort in all of this next phase to do things I wouldn’t have done in the past,” he says. “It’s the right moment in my life for all this. I feel free.”


(( hello everyone!!! im really sorry there haven’t been texts lately…..i’ve been in a really bad spot recently and i’ve been really sick. the stress and stuff from real life and all that has gotten to me and i’m trying to get better!!! i promise there’ll be texts next week, i just wanted to apologize for the inactivity. i’ve been sick and i’m not quite sure what it is, i think it came from all the stress? but for a while i thought my appendix was inflamed or something like that, which can be life threatening if it isn’t treated. i’m still not sure what it is, but i’m going to the doctor’s soon to get it checked out. i’m really sorry for no updates!! ))