real geek girl

I still cannot wrap my head around how some of these guys can simultaneously hold the false beliefs that a) the sole reason they can’t find a girl is because they’re geeks, and b) that girls just fake being geeks to get geek guys interested in them.

Like, not only are both of those ideas completely wrong, but they are also mutually exclusive. Like, at least pick ONE delusion, instead of trying to juggle two that cancel each other out.

In my literal DECADES as a semi-professional geek, I have never met a single fake geek girl. I have, however, dated many REAL geek girls. There are real geeks seeking other real geeks all across the gender spectrum, so if you’re alone, it’s not because you’re a geek–there’s another issue at work here, friend.

How to spot a fake geek girl...

• Did she seem really enthusiastic to talk about this topic, but then suddenly stop talking half way through?

• Is she sitting perfectly still, as if hoping that this way nobody will notice her to ask her any hard questions?

• When you brush against her on your way to the kitchen, does her whole arm come loose and fall to the ground with a clatter?

• Is her skin oddly shiny and unnaturally smooth?

• When you tentatively reach out to touch her other hand, is it cold and stiff?

• When you look into her eyes, are they glassy and unfocused?

• When you turn back to your friends to ask them what the hell is going on, do they also look back with those strange glass eyes?

• Do you try to remember when they last said anything and realise that they too stopped talking not a little while ago?

• Are you afraid?

• Do your fingers and toes feel oddly stiff?

• Is the numbness spreading up your arms and legs?

• Do you feel the threads of your consciousness unravelling like strands of morning fog and floating away into the ether?

• Do you remember why you are here? What you are doing? Who you are?

• Have your numb limbs and torso become so heavy that you collapse into your chair?

• Do you feel the numbness sliding up over your face?

• Were you ever real?

Friendly reminder:

If you see another person’s cosplay and write “this is the best everyone else go home” or “I give up”, you are turning cosplay into a competition and taking all the fun out of the funnest of all geeky hobbies.

Remember my big, secret project????

Well, Tumblr. I wrote a book for you!!!

THE FANGIRL’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY will be published by quirkbooks Spring 2015!! It’s a fully-illustrated guide to fandom, feminism, and feels, and I hope you guys love it.

Also, it has a lady author rep’d by a lady agent, a lady illustrator, and a lady editor. By geek girls, for geek girls.

YAAAAAAS I can’t wait for you all to read it ahhhhhhh

We were there too, the other geeks and weird kids whose lives were hellish at school, who escaped into books and computers, who stayed up all night scanning obscure forums, looking for transcendence, dreaming of elsewhere. We were there too, but you didn’t see us, because we were girls. And the costs of being the geek were the same for us, right down to the sexual frustration, the yearning, the being laughed at, the loneliness… We had to fight the same battles you did, only harder, because we were women and we also had to fight sexism, some of it from you, and when we went looking for other weird kids to join our gang, we were told we weren’t ‘real geeks’ because we were girls.
—  Laurie Penny, Cybersexism: Sex, Gender and Power on the Internet.