real estate tour

dressesandcarresses  asked:

Hey have you got any recs for Kylux Fairy tale AU? xx

In a dawn so very dark by @aknightfornawt, 38K words, E, Creator chose not to warn.
‘To one day rule an empire’, Ren had clarified, voice low and soft and always hovering on the side of condescension. ‘To wield unlimited power. Is it something you have always wanted?’ ‘Of course not’, Hux had lied.

The Curse of Love by @aiambia, 39K words, M, Graphic depictions of violence.
In a far off kingdom, Prince Hux was sold to a demon in exchange for his father’s life. Now he must find a way to escape the castle and break the curse of the demon before he’s trapped there forever. (Beauty and the Beast AU)

The Dragon Rider of Ren by 5ofSpades, 3887 words, E, Creator chose not to warn.
In which reptile reproductive biology papers were quickly read, Kylo Ren the mage apprentice got kicked out of magic school, and author fails at porn and the spirit of the original prompt. AKA a romantic fairy tale featuring cat figurines, roast potatoes, and real estate tours. (crack/parody)

The Swan Prince by anonymous, 12K words, G, No archive warnings.
Growing up, Prince Hux and Prince Ben hated each other, despite the fact their parents wanted them to get married. However, as fate would have it the two fall in love, only for Snoke to snatch Ben away for his own evil scheme to take the kingdom of Alderaan.

Bittersweet and Strange by @obsessions-and-dreams, 15K+ words, WIP, T, No archive warnings.
In a castle surrounded by a forest, lived a prince who became a monster.In a quiet village on the other side of the woods lived an unhappy young man with big dreams. (Beauty and the Beast AU)

A Queen For Darkness by @penpenhooray, 1488 words, T, Creator chose not to warn.
Kylo Ren reigns supreme in his realm of darkness, with powers most mortals could never begin to fathom the depths of. But still, he is lonely.But a chance glimpse of the future of a newborn Armitage Hux, a future where Armitage is very much a man, has Kylo pondering the possibilities. The possibilities of his realm of darkness having a queen at last.


Day: 1361
Shirt: Sunny Day Real Estate - Thief, Steal Me a Peach
Color: Tan
Brand: Fruit Of the Loom Heavy
Source: (Friday) this was a great 7″ the (almost) debut from Sunny Day..a 7″ that launched a thousand bands and and entire genre of music to follow really.  so many good albums followed this 7″ and really launched a whole different way of thinking about “punk.” 

 "We’re here,“ says Prince, grinning. "Come on in.”

One look inside tells the undramatic story. Yes, it seems the National Enquirer – whose Minneapolis Babylon exposé of Prince was excerpted in numerous other newspapers this spring – was exaggerating. No, the man does not live in an armed fortress with only a food taster and wall-to-wall, life-size murals of Marilyn Monroe to talk to. Indeed, if a real-estate agent led a tour through Prince’s house, one would guess that the current resident was, at most, a hip suburban surgeon who likes deep-pile carpeting.

“Hi,” says Rande, from the kitchen, “you got a couple of messages.” Prince thanks her and offers up some homemade chocolate-chip cookies. He takes a drink from a water cooler emblazoned with a Minnesota North Stars sticker and continues the tour. “This place,” he says, “is not a prison. And the only things it’s a shrine to are Jesus, love and peace.”

Off the kitchen is a living room that holds nothing your aunt wouldn’t have in her house. On the mantel are framed pictures of family and friends, including one of John Nelson playing a guitar. There’s a color TV and VCR, a long coffee table supporting a dish of jellybeans, and a small silver unicorn by the mantel. Atop the large mahogany piano sits an oversize white Bible.

The only thing unusual in either of the two guest bedrooms is a two-foot statue of a smiling yellow gnome covered by a swarm of butterflies. One of the monarchs is flying out of a heart-shaped hole in the gnome’s chest. “A friend gave that to me, and I put it in the living room,” says Prince. “But some people said it scared them, so I took it out and put it in here.”

Downstairs from the living room is a narrow little workroom with recording equipment and a table holding several notebooks. “Here’s where I wrote and recorded all of 1999,” says Prince, “all right in this room.” On a low table in the corner are three Grammys. “Wendy,” says Prince, “has got the Academy Award.”

The work space leads into the master bedroom. It’s nice. And … normal. No torture devices or questionable appliances, not even a cigarette butt, beer tab or tea bag in sight. A four-poster bed above plush white carpeting, some framed pictures, one of Marilyn Monroe. A small lounging area off the bedroom provides a stereo, a lake-shore view and a comfortable place to stretch out on the floor and talk.

Every once in a while I decide to browse my photo blog’s recent followers to clean out the spam/porn accounts, and since it’s not always immediately apparent from the username/icon, I actually take a quick look at each blog.

I’ve seen some very amusing and horrifying things while doing this, and here’s a list of just a few:

1. a blog consisting of one single picture of Harry Styles. That’s it.

2. Multiple small San Diego-based businesses such as furniture stores/real estate agents/airplane tours, courageously advertising their services out to the void, not a single like or reblog to be found.

3. a blog run by someone who has a horse kink or something I don’t fucking know I left fast and blocked them.

4. weed obsessed pothead who is also a “Mental Health Enthusiast” according to their description.

5. a blog that deceived me into thinking it was an innocent aesthetics collection and then four posts down BOOM hardcore gay porn gifs.

6. a blog that did the complete opposite of the above. Its title just read “PORN” and as I braced myself scrolling down, I found nothing but beautiful pictures of amazing food dishes and desserts.

7. “Tarantino Forever”, blog actually only consists of one inspirational quote, tagged ‘christian inspirational quotes’. The quote isn’t specifically Christian in any way.

8. more erect penises than I ever wanted to see in my life