real disney princesses

so I’ve been thinking about a Bagginshield Beauty and the Beast AU, and a fem!Kiliel Tangled AU for a while, and then I started to think, why stop there?

Dís and Víli? Swan Princess, because reasons

Frerin and Bofur? Sleeping Beauty

and then I thought of Fíli ranting to Tauriel, “All of my family has had weird things happening to them. Uncle Thorin was cursed into a beast, Uncle Frerin was cursed into eternal sleep, ‘Amad was cursed into a swan, my little sister was kidnapped and you’re telling me her hair is long as heck. I’m the only one who hasn’t had anything weird happening and I don’t know if I’m happy or if that makes me weird.”

and then comes the plot twist

he’s Moana

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Also, an introduction is in order! 

Tumblr, meet Eloise :) She’s not exactly new to the family (she’s been living with my parents for the past 3 years) but as she’s officially living with Austin and I now I figure she should get a proper introduction.

Elle was found by one of my best friends Paige a few years ago, rummaging in the trash behind a convenience store. She was spotted multiple times nicking garbage and eating old subway sandwiches before my friend finally caught her and took her home. She was thin and her hair was matted and greasy but she was the most affectionate little thing you could hope to meet and she cleaned up into a real disney princess of a cat after Paige gave her a much needed bath. Anyway, long story short Paige’s then-husband forbid her from keeping the cat (I have a lot to say on this front, but I’m going to restrain myself) and she asked if me and my parents would take her in, to which obviously our reply was yes. So she made the long journey from northern California to southern Arizona and it is there in our little animal filled corner of the world that she has been living happily for the past few years. 
When Austin and I left Leopold with my parents in february (so that we could find a house and he wouldn’t have to endure living in a hotel room with us) he and Elle became best of friends; catching mice together, napping together, chasing each other around the house. A real Bonnie and Clyde pair. So when I went back to get Leo we decided to take Elle, too. 
She’s settling in here quite nicely. So far the activities she enjoys most are watching the birds torment her from the patio, sitting on my lap and making bread out of my legs while I hopelessly try to paint, running as fast as she can down the hallway in hot pursuit of a little orange and white cat butt. She’s also made short work of discovering Austin’s weaknesses and no no longer has to walk anywhere herself if she doesn’t feel inclined (all she has to do is look at Austin with her big blue eyes and meow once and he picks her up and carries her wherever she wants to go) We’re all powerless to her charm.

Can I just take a moment to talk about how much I love Jasmine?

When I was a little kid, I didn’t like Jasmine that much. I thought she was a temperamental shrew, and couldn’t really understand why Aladdin liked her. I thought she’d just yell and nag him after their “happily ever after,” and pitied what he’d go through.

Now that I’m older and I look at her with a sophisticated eye, I not only realize that she RARELY gets mad in her movie (most of the time she’s sweet and nice), but I actually LOVE that Jasmine is kind of temperamental and kind of a shrew. Why? Let me esplain:

The truth is, everyone gets mad sometimes, and women are no exception. Most women have their breaking point. Most women sometimes get angry and yell, even at their boyfriends/husbands. No one is all sweet, all the time like Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, etc. And anyone who says different is lying, to you or themselves.

Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn’t recognize this. Too often, women (hell, men) are painted in broad strokes. They’re all one thing or all another. Hollywood women are all sweet, or all slutty, all virginal, all temperamental, etc. And far too often with Hollywood movies, they portray any female character who raises her voice even once as ALL bitchy/shewish, and female characters who never raise their voice as all perfectly sweet, kind, sympathetic, etc. all the time.

So, you rarely get sympathetic female characters who show some temper every now and again. She’s either the perfect wife/girlfriend, OR she’s a temperamental bitch who gets her comeuppance at the end. Not both. (Look no further than Cinderella’s evil step sisters.)

I LIKE how Musker and Clements broke some ground with Jasmine by portraying her as SOMETIMES a yelling temperamental shrew, but MOST OF THE TIME sweet, kind, understanding, compassionate, etc. She only gets mad when she gets treated like a commodity; a trophy; a “prize.” (Which, unfortunately, her father, Jafar, and “Prince Ali” do most of the time for this particular story.) The rest of the time, she’s very kind, compassionate, etc.

Hell, her FIRST INSTINCT whens she sees a hungry child is to give him some food. (Just like Aladdin; he gives his hard-won bread to some hungry orphans he encounters; she gives a hungry boy she sees an apple.) And, despite being raised in a palace, she has NO problem falling for a “street rat” who shows her some kindness–and if you think class blindness isn’t that big a deal, you haven’t lived in the real world  much.

And she’s SMART! OMG! Unfortunately, since it’s Aladdin’s story there aren’t many opportunities for her to show off her smarts, ingenuity, and quit wits, but it’s there! She’s able to learn how to pole-vault across a building just by watching Aladdin do it once.

She catches onto Aladdin’s schemes quickly while everyone else falls for it (both with the merchant who tried to cut off her hand, then with Jafar near the end of the movie). When Aladdin tells the Genie why he loves her, the first two traits that come to mind are, “She’s smart, and fun…” She’s certainly clever enough to see through Aladdin’s prince disguise when both her father and Jafar (who met him before) couldn’t… I can go on and on. Jasmine’s fucking brilliant! And it’s too bad the story didn’t give her as many opportunities to show off her smarts when it’s clearly there!

Jasmine is a character I didn’t appreciate much as a kid, but I definitely appreciate her now as an adult. Partly because she’s a sympathetic Muslim / Middle Eastern character (all-too needed these days), partly because she’s a sympathetic female character who happens to have a bit of a temper–something that hasn’t been seen much in Hollywood before or since.

Stay strong, Jasmine. The world needs you.

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Lucy Liu was the voice of Melana in The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest, Elise Riggs in SSX Tricky, Lucy Liu in Futurama, Tid Pao in King of the Hill, Raquel Smashenburn in Game Over, Adult Jade in Jackie Chan Adventures, Maggie Lee in Maya & Miguel, Madam Wu in The Simpsons, Mei in Mulan 2, Viper in Kung Fu Panda, Silvermist in Tinker Bell, Vivienne Lu in Sleeping Dogs, and Lady Sagami in The Tale of the Princess Kaguya.