real beauty is on the inside

tELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL BEFORE ITS TOO LATE I AM BEGGING YOU. UNSAID FEELINGS ARE THE FUCKIN WORST AND THEY WILL KILL YOU, COMPLETELY EAT YOU UP INSIDE AND MAKE YOU ROT AWAY. YOU GOTTA TELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL, RIGHT NOW, RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM, TELL THEM YOU WANNA MAKE THEM HAPPY, TELL THEM YOU MISS THEM, TELL THEM YOU DONT LIKE HOW THEY TREAT YOU, TELL THEM YOU FEEL SAD AND NEED HELP. PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAY EVEN IF IT HURTS A LITTLE AT FIRST. HONESTY IS REAL AND BEAUTIFUL AND FEELINGS THAT ARE SAID AND ACKNOWLEDGED EVEN IF THEYRE UNREQUITED ARE FUCKING RAW AND BEAUTIFUL AND HEY, AT LEAST YOU GOT IT OFF YOUR CHEST. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE HONEST WITH HOW YOU FEEL. LIFE IS FAR TOO SHORT TO HIDE BEHIND THE FEAR OF SOMEONE BEING MAD OR NOT FEELING THE SAME WAY. I PROMISE YOU. LIFE IS NOTHING WITHOUT THE SMALL RISKS OF SAYING HOW YOU FEEL. SO GO DO IT. SAY IT. I PROMISE ITLL BE WORTH IT. YOULL SEE.

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
concept playlists part ii

it’s the year 2077 & you’re at a nightclub in tokyo with your best friend, you’re both on the run from a group of rebels but you feel safe in this little neon corner of nowhere so when a robot waiter offers you a strawberry daiquiri you accept it

you’re a tourist on mars & you’re trying to contact home but the signal is really crappy so you just end up buying yourself an icecream sundae & waiting in this strange alien queue to buy an interstellar sim card

you’re in a small virginian town that was wiped off the map several years ago housesitting for a mysterious neighbor when you find a secret passageway in their library, you have no idea where it leads but you’re curious to take a look 

you’re in victorian england & you’re walking down a path adorned with the warm aureate glow of gaslights & it’s snowing softly & you have your hands buried deep in your coat pockets while somewhere in the distance, someone announces that the queen is dead

you meet god at a gas station at 3.03 am & he asks you if you want to go for a motorcycle ride with him & when you say yes he warns you that he’s about to introduce you to things you can never unknow 

you’re in love with a ghost who shows up in all your household mirrors & keeps turning off the kitchen light but one night you realize that you’re the one that’s been doing all the haunting 

it’s a rehab centre for celestial beings, where angels with dying halos flitter past & talk to you of stars, you love working this job, learning about the woes of a dozen flighty beings, & they endow you with their strength & light in return

you’re stuck in a time loop inside of a 80′s horror flick and your entire world feels like it’s glitching around you nothing is real except for your strange lover with eyes like moonlight calling you to come back to bed 

you’re at an island at midnight all by yourself, the night sky is so clear the sea reflects the star-matted sky, a salty breeze lifts your hair, you breathe in deep & dream of someone beautiful coming to your rescue

xtras:
hotmess / midyouth crisis / mud puppy / lucid dreaming

heathers songs summed up in one lyric
  • beautiful: i look at all these kids ive known all my life and i ask myself: what happened???
  • candy store: shUT U P HE ATHER
  • fight for me: well woah you can punch real good
  • freeze your brain: theres a 7-11 right there
  • big fun: dang dang diggity-dang-a-dang
  • dead girl walking: i decided i must ride you till i b r e a k you
  • me inside of me: jeSUS YOURE MAKING ME SOUND LIKE AIR SUPPLY
  • blue: oh no oh no no no
  • our love is god: i worship you :)))))
  • my dead gay son: i lOVE MY DEAD GAY SON
  • seventeen: yeah we're damaged
  • shine a light: who wants to share what's in their heart :))?? no volunteers?? fine ill start-
  • lifeboat: well who made her captain,,
  • shine a light reprise: die alone die alone die alone die alone-
  • kindergarten boyfriend: so ill build a dream that i can live in and this time im never waking up
  • yo girl: now you're truly a HEATHER
  • meant to be yours: vER ON ICA OPE N THE O PEN THE DOOR PLE AS S E
  • dead girl walking reprise: yeah well he's wrong about a lot of things
  • i am damaged: say hi to god
  • seventeen reprise: if no one loves me now then someday someone will
Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-pink sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

Gemini: While you drink in the melodies of everyone’s laughter the ghosts find a new home inside your body. A facade of performance, masking out your true emotions. While the hallways turn vacant and your ghosts shut the doors. The voices leave the room empty, the emptiness in your chest weighing like a brick worth thousands of diamonds. I cannot put a price on your heart, I don’t know its colours. I don’t know its voice. Or the three albums you have on repeat over the summer, or the songs you dance to at night. Simply because you are you, unique, mysterious and beautiful.

Cancer: You are a puzzle and I am not your missing peace, I don’t own it. But you do. You make up your own being. Maybe you left it in your back pocket, next to the shattered dreams or under the pillars you build when you were eight years old. The ones you made to put your broken home on, searching for stability in broken mirrors. I will linger in my map of you and I swear that even when I get back it leads back to you. It always leads back to you. To that little house with orange paint on the walls from ten years ago. With the nicotine sticking to a once white ceiling and some kind of animals running around. The dusty photographs will still stand on the desk. You will still sit on that one spot, with teary eyes and crossed legs. And you will still be beautiful.

Leo: I could never describe your beauty. Your beauty cannot be multiplied, it can only be remembered, treasured, envied, appreciated or regretted. And by remembered I mean that when you feel like you are just another extra in someone’s life that they will mention you to their parents during dinner. They will talk about your shining personality and sparkling eyes. By treasured I am talking about that “the one” experience which you deserve. A treasure filled with all things unique and irreplaceable. One that’s filled with happiness. By envied I am talking about the eyes you do not see, or do not wish to see. Or don’t notice. You stand out in a crowd, especially when you don’t think you are. By appreciated I am talking about the ones who see your true you, your tangled hair and cracked lips. The ones who still stay even through the bad times. By regretted I am talking about the people who did not see your beauty until you blossomed. I understand why you find cocoons beautiful now, and how you like caterpillars just as much as butterflies.

Virgo: Snow litters on untouched skin. Sun rains through the cracks of the darkness even where you hide. I could hear you talking every day. Forever. With delicate fingers and blushed cheeks. Your hair untamed and your fingers bruised to the bone. Delicately logical. The edges of the leafs of oak trees remind me of your way of thinking. The overhang reminds me of your mind. Which casts shadows over the villagers in the houses you build where colourless souls reside. You are so often in debate with your own head, at war with your own body. Never at peace, always restless. Always asking, “but why?” I don’t know. You like it, don’t you? Parading around in your own world? Sweet little soul in a world full of pain.

Libra: The bell of the church echoed through your head a little longer than it should’ve. It never was nice. We never played nice. We talked until our lips were dry and I stayed home when you were out cold. But memories don’t matter anymore do they darling? In this orchestra of harmonious noises where you are the leader of everything nothing can hurt you. I don’t know, I don’t know. And goddamnit I know you will try to push everything on yourself again. You always do. That’s just how you work. Why don’t you warm your hands on your own body for once? You don’t need another person to feel like you’re loved, you only need one. One whole, full, true person.

Scorpio: Everything seems darker these days. Charcoal coloured clouds are a daily thing. And your arms are always covered up along with your legs. Even in the summer the nights don’t seem as enchanting. Not when small bruises shaped like the bumps of your knuckles litter on your thighs. Self destructive lullabies, “I just need a friend, for once in my life.” A desire for someone to stay ripped from your lips. So I stayed by your side wondering, if you wanted me to stay or needed me to stay. Of course I could say you remind me of scarlet blood and bathroom tiles. But you also remind of the river I used to play in when I was nine. You also remind me of the necklace I got when my grandmother passed away. You remind me of memories, the good, the bad, the in-between. You remind me of life. Please keep on living.

Sagittarius: The reason that I didn’t cry when you left was because crying means letting go, or so you said. And I don’t want to let you go. I want you to be a part of me, forever. But I can’t do that, you would rot in the hell hole that is my mind. I can’t put you through more cruelty. I hate how I am the reason you cry on bad nights, do you still wonder if I miss you? I do. I do. I do. Regret was stronger than appreciation. But you’re so fucking strong. Your eyes still shine even when you’re sad. You think no one likes you yet you know that’s not true. You’re the reason I am alive. You let me experience pain, beauty, emotion. You let me live. You’re so much more than enough, sometimes I can’t even handle who you are. You are dazzling. But you could never control your heart, it always wandered over the streets of other people’s bodies.

Capricorn: When the sun sets over mountains and the houses made of glass shatter I will still see your name in the sky in neon lights. The little bugs in our home always wanted to be friends with you. They always sat on the tip of your nose with gentle smiles. I never envied you, I wish I treasured you. You are so simplistic and nice. Nice. Too underrated for your own good, no? Aren’t we all. Your hands will still be remembered by those you touched. You always leave some kind of mark that they don’t want to wash off. You have that affect on people. You make them drown their thoughts and hold their breath when you walk into a room. You are an old soul, but you know that. Why? You just do. Because you’re you. And nothing can change that or the late nights, the slowness or the fastness in your walk doesn’t matter for the right people. They will walk for you until they have blathers on their toes. If they don’t you know what to do.

Aquarius: Swirls of icy wind are always your accomplice. You’re cold, and beautiful; like snow. The wires always stick to your senses, they get stuck in between your backbone. They twist around your spine and plug into the back of your brain. You let other people control you like you’re a mindless puppet. I think the wires got the best of you. Whenever you speak your mind it says something beautiful and unique. You are original, not ordinary. I am sorry they teach you that being unique is bad and that you have to fit into this ‘ordinary’ world as an ‘ordinary’ person. Nothing is ordinary about you, not even your name. Your name says who you are as a person, if someone asks me to define you I will simply say your name, the definition of your personality is your name. Because your name is unique and so is your personality. Don’t let other people control you.

Pisces: The imaginary butterflies with the raven black wings told me about you. They tell me that your head is in a universe they have never seen, with all things beautiful and all things bad. They see you crying with your knees tugged up sometimes, hands in your hair as you hide beneath sheets of darkness. You write poetry with the blood in the sink and make galaxies with the stars you find inside other people their eyes. A gentle smile always embraces your lips, “So happy, yet so sad” they say. A mask is something you believe is beautiful, but I believe you are beautiful. The real you. Not the you who cautiously walks over this realm of sadness. Your moonlit hair is so silky, your sunlit eyes are so sad. Chin up little soldier.

—  Letters to the zodiac signs
How I cope with my Emotional Nonsense

My brain comes with the fun little perk of really intense, overwhelming emotional reactions. My emotions are a series of on/off switches and it’s either blinding painful intensity or complete numbness. So here’s how I try to manage it:

  • Clean my room. Not like… calm gentle reorganization. No. I dump as much as I think I can handle onto the floor and put it back in its place. It’s intense. There’s usually loud angry music. Things almost always end up only slightly cleaner than they were but I feel way fuckin better afterwards.
  • Play video games. Preferably those ones where you’re way OP and just slice through enemies like butter. Or something you just plain can’t lose at, like Stardew Valley.
  • Watch vine compilations. Seriously, just search RIP Vine in youtube, click on the mix playlist, and you’re set forever.
  • Listen to podcasts. I like audio dramas. If you want recs, message me. I’ve got a list.
  • Take a walk. I’m confident in my ability to keep myself safe in doing so, so I will start walking and just not stop until I calm down. Usually I’m doing better after about half an hour for me.
  • Make something. Draw, knit, write, paint, make a fucking hand turkey. No one cares if it’s good. And even if I decide to throw it out, I usually feel better once I’ve actually made a thing.
  • Blanket fort. Really. It helps. Use a paper towel tube as a fake sword. Just… be silly and childish and imaginative. Those aren’t bad things to be.
  • Cut/dye my hair. Usually this takes a little planning but I always wind up deciding to do it during a breakdown of some sort.
  • Eat something. Sometimes a bag of gummy worms is all it takes to remember that the world isn’t entirely awful.
  • Go back to bed. Sometimes, I just don’t have the energy to put up with the world’s bullshit. And that’s okay. It’s not wise to pick this one every time, but sometimes the world can wait. I bury myself under the covers, put my phone on do not disturb, and either take a nap or listen to music.

Sometimes, I’m stuck. I can’t distract myself, and I can feel the wave coming, about to pull me under and turn me into a massive shitlord. Because I am an absolutely AWFUL person to be around when I’m in emotion-hell. Believe me, I hate myself during it too. Haven’t quite figured out what to do with it yet, but if I’m with someone I try to warn them that I’m really upset and just need a moment to freak out a bit. Then I try to just… let it pass. It’s a bad idea to talk to people you have strong feelings about, no matter the feelings, when you’re in this. Impulses are hard to manage. I tend to just ramble my feelings in a private post on tumblr or I talk to someone I don’t know that well and consequently don’t have strong feelings about. Just… keep breathing. It passes.

So yeah. Things I try to keep in mind:

  • Nothing is permanent. Our lives are short and, on a cosmic scale, relatively insignificant. The decisions I make aren’t actually that important, so I may as well have fun.
  • Our lives are the most important thing we experience. This is how we are, right now. It is so very real, so very vivid and meaningful and shapes future iterations of us. We are very much here.
  • Two opposing statements can be true at the same time. We are complex, beautiful creatures capable of complex planning and deep thought. We’re also  bumbling apes who will ingest toxic substances because we like how they feel and frequently giggle at the thought of farts.
  • People in general are too busy worrying about what everyone else thinks of them to actually notice that a bit of someone else’s hair is sticking up or that their shirt was on inside out. It happens. We’ve all had those days.
  • There is no such thing as grown-ups. Only people who have gotten very good at pretending they know what they’re doing. We learn the rules by conformity, by watching everyone else and doing what they’re doing, even if we don’t actually know what the fuck is going on. It’s okay. There’s probably someone else just as confused as you in the same room. You’ll be fine, and if you’re too lost to pretend you know what’s going on, either ask someone who looks like they know, or bullshit it and hope for the best.
  • There is good in the world. If you need evidence, look at this dog. All dogs are good.
Midnight Mystery: A Denny's Story

12:00 pm. It was a cold and windy night, which was quite unusual for Los Angeles, California. But then again, this wasn’t an average night. You could just feel it on your skin. Something wasn’t right, and you were going to get to the bottom of it.

You looked down at your hand, knuckles white from nervously gripping onto the crumpled paper note. You decided to read it again, just to be sure you were at the right place. “Denny’s. Devonshire Street. Midnight. Be there. Come alone.”

You sighed heavily, and looked up at the building in front of you, looming in the darkness. Yep, this was it. The inside was dark from what you can tell by looking through the windows. You slowly approached the steps leading up to the large, glass doors. As you walked up each step, you reconsidered this whole thing. What if it was some sort of trap? What if this was where you were going to die? But, the ominous interior of the so-called “restaurant” was beckoning you inside. It’s as if this was your destiny. Cold, unavoidable, and mysterious.

You finally made it to the top of the stairs, and you peered through the glass double-doors. The inside still looked as dark and empty as before. Your shaking hand made it to the door handles, and to your surprise, the door swung open quite easily. They were expecting you. You stepped inside, but still not a sound besides the shuffling of your feet. 

A light comes on. Just a single spotlight over one of the empty booths. As your eyes adjust to the sudden shock of light through the inky blackness, you notice a menu on the illuminated table. It was propped up against a napkin holder, opened to the first page. As you approach it with caution, you notice a golden key set on the table in front of the menu. You lean in to read the page, but realize that there weren’t any food items listed, except for one: pancakes. In every space where there should be a breakfast item, it was replaced with the word “pancakes”. Your stomach begins to rumble. You are hungry… hungry for answers.

Grabbing the menu and the mysterious key, you keep walking through the room, occasionally bumping into tables and chairs in the dark. You make a left turn somewhere and another light comes on. It’s a bit dimmer this time, so it’s not as bad on your eyes. It’s the light at the doorway of the kitchen. As you make your way towards it, you hear a sound behind you. Some sort of creaking noise, like you were being followed…

You whip your head around, but there was nothing there. Just the same empty tables and chairs. You must be imagining things now. Yeah… just imagining things. When you walk into the kitchen, all the lights come on simultaneously. At least, inside of the kitchen that is. There’s nothing abnormal about it. It’s just a regular old kitchen. Something about it seems oddly familiar though. You’d like to think it’s just a bit of déjà vu, but you’re sure you remember this location from before.

You start looking around for some sort of secret entrance or hidden door, but find nothing. You must have missed something… there’s got to be a clue. You look through pots and pans, bags of flour, loose floor tiles. Anything to reveal what to do next! Just then, out of the corner of your eye, you see a poster on the wall. That’s it! It’s what the menu was trying to say. The poster had a badly photoshopped stack of pancakes on it, so there has to be something important near it. You run towards it, and rip the poster from the wall to discover a metal safe built into the wall. It was pretty plain except for a keyhole, which obviously fit the key from before. You shove the shiny, golden key into it’s designated spot and turn it. Instead of the safe opening though, the entire wall split into a doorframe! The key must have activated the entrance, and it’s finally time to see what you’ve been waiting for.

When the door swung open, it revealed another dark room. You take a deep breath, and step inside. The second your foot passes the doorframe, a set of extremely bright lights come on, and your eyes are momentarily blinded once again. When they adjust, something beautiful is revealed. Something magical. Something one can only dream about.

Wait a minute. This can’t be real… this isn’t real at all! This is just a dream! It’s just a dream!

You woke up covered in sweat, tears running down your eyes and your pillow soaked. You were gasping for air, your breaths coming in short and fast. You glanced out the window from your bed, and noticed that it was morning. It was just a dream after all, but it was exactly what you needed. You’ve been waiting for some kind of vision, a sign, a dream. And now, you’ve got it. Before you lost the image in your mind, you raced to your desk and opened up your laptop, desperately waiting for it to start up. You plopped down into your rolling chair, and typed in your password. It was ‘pancakes’, of course. You pulled up one of those electronic sticky notes that hang around on your desktop, and began typing in the description of that magical image you saw in your dream. Yes… this is it! The inspiration you’ve been hoping for!

“A stack of pancakes, but the butter on top is larger and zoomed in, and it’s photoshopped to look like an ice cream scoop with a cherry on top and sprinkles. It’s a pancake sundae!”

You cease your furious typing, take a deep breath, and stretch out your arms. This is the kind of genius your Denny’s blog needed.

so, to be blunt, the clique sucks. not all of you, no, but a majority of the clique sucks. a lot of us lack respect, not only for tyler and josh, but for other artists, bands, and their fanbase, such as melanie martinez and the crybabies. (the melanie hate was very very strong on the clique amino app)

i know i’m not being any better than they are now, by ranting about all this, but i NEED to get it off my chest.

let’s start off with the whole fake fan thing. there is no such thing as a ‘fake fan’! only NEW fans! if you meet someone who only knows the radio hits, introduce them to more songs! back when i first got into tøp, i bought a blurryface shirt with lane boy lyrics on it, despite only listening to the song a few times and i hadn’t memorized EVERY word. i wore it to church one night and a clique member ran up to me and busted out rapping the whole song and i got pretty freaked out! i told her that i’d only listened to the song maybe three times and she rolled her eyes, called me a fake fan, and left me alone with my little emo eyeliner and my little emo self. it hurt me, because she was degrading me in the fanbase for not knowing all the words to lane boy.

next let’s talk about faking suicide. that’s OBVIOUSLY not okay. suicide is a very, very serious thing that shouldn’t be joked about. i see it happen within the clique all the time, both real suicides and fake, and both hurt me very badly. but in different ways. do you realize how many people you’re hurting by faking your own death, all for attention? tyler isn’t going to write a song about you, you know, because you “died”.

now the address leaking, ah, the address leaking. that’s tyler and jenna’s personal life and their privacy. they had JUST moved into this new house! they must have felt so unsafe in their own home, which is supposed to be a place of comfort and protection from all you crazy, rabid fans trying to rip his clothes and steal his shoes. how safe would you feel if someone leaked your address online for the whole world to see?

next we have the crashed wedding. that whole thing was so, so disrespectful. that was josh’s friend’s wedding. if you were famous, and went to your friend’s big special day, and a fan decided to break in in the middle of it just to get a picture with you, would you feel annoyed or upset? because in the picture the girls took with him, josh looked pretty pissed. and josh has the right to say “no” to anybody who wants a picture with him. he doesn’t have to do whatever you say, your wish isn’t his command, and that goes for tyler too. ever wonder why they walk fast in public, and why tyler started hearing hoods and baseball caps to cover his face lately? to hide from us.

the crap with the crybabies. it’s nuts. y'all are making nasty comments about melanie’s appearance, and personally, i think mel is a very beautiful young woman. the real ugly people are the ones who made fun of her and her fans, they’re ugly on the inside. it isn’t right. i know that you would all feel awful if someone told you that your tooth gap was the 8th wonder of the world or made rude comments on your eyebrows. mel is a human being, and so are all of her fans, so start treating them with respect. because EVERY human deserves respect.

i understand why the clique is so hated. we’re mostly made up of awful people. i feel bad for tyler and josh because they deserve better fans than us. they deserve respectful, thoughtful people that wait patiently for new music instead of rabid, rude kids who spam their social media accounts, pretty much harassing them and pressuring them into releasing new music, commenting “i love you” constantly on their posts, and invading their personal lives and their privacy.

that’s it. that’s all i have to say. the clique sucks and i’m pretty ashamed that i even called myself a clique member. until you all clean up your act, i’m not one of you. i’m not a part of the clique anymore, i’m simply someone who listens to tøp. i’m just a fan. i refuse to identify as part of this madhouse called the skeleton clique. feel free to rb and rant about it yourself. i’m done

I am so here for the media resorting to using our blogs as a source for Taylor news because all they get is in depth analysis about Taylor’s art and posts upon posts expressing our love for her and the amazing things she does for the industry and others. They see the real Taylor Swift for the first time, because they don’t have any other choice. They’re not getting any information from other sources. They can only go to the people that love her and care about her for information. There will be no explanation there will just be reputation. We know her better than anyone else. Instead of the media being able to make up lies based on “insider” info, we hold the keys to the narrative this time. WE are her reputation, because she trusts us enough to do this for her and I think that’s really beautiful. I love that girl.

[THE COMPLETE X-CLAN] All about X-Clan Story

In the world of confusion and oppression, people are divided into those who complied and those who wanted to change.
Those who want to change gather under THE CLAN group and recruit members in each area. Jooheon, X area’s messenger, forms X-CLAN. However before the group was formed, they fell into extreme confusion and chaos.

Members can’t stand anger and frustration, carried out violence (arson attack, give up life, fight) and in rush fell into temptation they shouldn’t touch.
Members believe that blue flower, which give immediate effect, is the only solution. That results in Shownu, Minhyuk and Hyungwon facing a very big failure.

Jooheon wants to give them another chance, so he saves them from death and puts them into rehabilitation.
The rest of the members strengthen their intention from their first meeting, study the right way to treat the blue flower. Together with Jooheon, they save members who underwent trial and error, and successfully meet again.

Members who are getting stronger objectively judge their lack and go through training in order to be the real themselves.

Shownu gets the heart to cherish other’s life, Wonho gets the knowledge to pick out only meaningful things in train of events, Minhyuk gets the patience to not wilt in front of repeating time, Kihyun gets the way to control anger inside him, Hyungwon gets the wisdom to pick his true self between many identities, I.M gets to sort out peacefulness and not sway in front of money and jewels.

They are still themselves, but they were reborn into more beautiful persons. They join Jooheon again, and form the real X-CLAN.

I am, we are completely new persons.
‘Better’ persons who have went through and won against anger and frustration, failure and hardship.
Maybe in the future the world will continue to play tricks on us.
They will put us in the edge of the brink and make us explode.
However, we are different.

And even only with that, we are beautiful.

ALL ABOUT X-CLAN
Translation by @chocohyoo
Raw scan by @chuuchw115

{PART 18} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; The crowning moment arises when you and Jungkook arrive at the fundraising ball; but the storm clouds gather as you come face to face with your greatest fear.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1} // {Part 17} {Part 18} {Part 19}

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Letters To The Zodiac Signs

Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-grey sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

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Paper Stars

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.
Word Count: 2,398
Warnings: cussing
A/N: Thanks to @insanityplaysfics as always for giving me ideas. I’m a fucking sap recently because my boyfriend proposed to me and I just wanna write a crapton of fluff and puke rainbows everywhere. This is short and sweet, which is very rare for me! I hope you like it anyways!
Read it on AO3

-

The day Dan opened his locker to a strange slip of paper folded into an origami star was one of the strangest moments of his life.

“What,” Dan said simply, giving the offending paper a strange look. He bent down and retrieved it, staring at it long and hard. It was thin, made with a flowery paper, and he could just make out words written in very small print on it. “What,” Dan said again.

With a small amount of struggle, Dan managed to unwrap the star, revealing the writing inside. The script was sloppy to the point where Dan thinks it was written with the wrong hand. Dan said “what” again and the word didn’t even sound like it was real anymore. It took him a few minutes to read what it said due to the scribble, but he eventually managed.

‘i used to stare out the window because i thought the scenery was beautiful. Then i saw you and suddenly the world didnt seem nearly as captivating as before.

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1 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU] 

WORD COUNT: 4,225

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut

Originally posted by sosjimin

masterlist | ask | prev | next

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How is Cha Hakyeon even real, honestly? He’s so beautiful inside and out; sticks to a skin routine, out there promoting self love, hustlin’ for himself and his group in dramas, musicals, and variety shows, making friends everywhere he goes, being polite and considerate, happy making DIY candles and flower bouquets, voice like pure honey, boss make-up skills, telling you a whole saga just through dance alone, charismatic af, hair thick and shiny, unabashedly loving up on his members until they can’t take it anymore, fashion on point, out there smiling for us and knowing he’s melting our hearts, and he’s still so humble and gracious for even the tiniest bit of support from Starlights????

Answer me this: what good is it to fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for? What good is it to fight for someone who isn’t fighting for you? You can’t force him to try, you can’t force him to be consistent, to be loyal, or even to make a decision. You can’t make him care enough to stay with you. If it’s there then it’s there but if it’s not, then it’s not. You cannot fight for the both of you. You can only do your part and if he doesn’t meet you halfway then you know where you stand.

I knew where I stood but I denied it, I denied everything my mind knew and fooled myself into thinking you were just having a tough time. But you chose her. You chose to make it work with her, you chose to love her and you have that right. I just wish I had known it would end like this, I wish you would have told me you wouldn’t choose me, I wish I would have listened to reason. Because now I am here, stuck where I was before, with this vast, empty, gaping hole in my chest that I can’t fill, not with hate, not with indifference, not with boys, not with meaningless feeling, not with anything.


You made me think love is hard, that love is painful, that love tears you apart from the inside out and that real love stays through everything. But love is not pain, love is not hard, love does not tear you from the inside out and leave you broken and hurt, love is the one beautiful and pure thing in this world and you made me believe it was not and for that I will never forgive you.

—  the consequences of foolishness

(this is my first masterpost sorry if it’s bad) A bullet journal has a lot of uses. A planner, homework reminders, to-do lists- but understandably, some pages could use a little of inspiration. And what better inspiration than from artists? Even without a bullet journal, quotes can be a great thing to decorate journals, your room, etcetera. So, I’ve compiled a list of quotes (some aren’t very motivational) by some of your favorite artists!

VINCENT VAN GOGH

“I dream of painting and then I paint my dream.”

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

“I wish they would only take me as I am.”

“In spite of everything I shall rise again; I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”

“I see drawings and pictures in the poorest of huts and the dirtiest of corners.”

“One must work and dare if one really wants to live.”

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.“

“I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

“Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.“

“If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.”

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”

PABLO PICASSO

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.“

“Art is a lie that makes us realize truth.”

“Everything you can imagine is real.“

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”

“Action is the foundational key to all success.“

"It takes a long time to become young.”

“Youth has no age.”

“Art is the elimination of the unnecessary.”

“Sculpture is the art of the intelligence.”

“Are we to paint what’s on the face, what’s inside the face, or what’s behind it?”

“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.”

“To copy others is necessary, but to copy oneself is pathetic.”

SALVADOR DALI

“Have no fear of perfection - you’ll never reach it.“

"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad.”

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.”

“There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.”

“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.”

“I am not strange. I am just not normal.”

“It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.”

“Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.”

“So little of what could happen does happen.”

“Give me two hours a day of activity, and I’ll take the other twenty-two in dreams.”

“The secret of my influence has always been that it remained secret.”

JACKSON POLLOCK

“The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through.”

“Painting is self-discovery. Every good artist paints what he is.”

“My painting does not come from the easel.”

“When I am in my painting, I’m not aware of what I’m doing.”

“Love is friendship set to music.”

“The painter locks himself out of his own studio. And then has to break in like a thief.”

“The modern artist is working with space and time, and expressing his feelings rather than illustrating.”

“Energy and motion made visible- memories arrested in space.”

“Abstract painting is abstract. It confronts you. There was a reviewer a while back who wrote my pictures didn’t have any beginning or any end. He didn’t mean it as a compliment, but it was.”

“I’m very representational some of the time, and a little all of the time. But when you’re painting out of your unconscious, figures are bound to emerge.”

“Abstract art should be enjoyed just as music is enjoyed- ater awhile you may like it or you may not.”

“Each age finds its own technique… I mean, the strangeness will wear off and I think we will discover the deeper meanings in modern art.“

CLAUDE MONET

“I must have flowers always and always.”

“Color is my daylong obsession, joy and torment.“

“Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.”

“My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece.“

“I would like to paint the way a bird sings.”

“The more I live, the more I regret how little I know.“

“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.”

“I can only draw what I see.“

“What keeps my heart awake is colorful silence.”

“The richness I achieve comes from nature, the source of my inspiration.“

“I don’t think I’m made for any earthly kind of pleasure.”

“The light constantly changes, and that alters the atmosphere and beauty of things every minute.“

GEORGIA O’KEEFFE

“Nobody sees a flower- really- it is so small it takes time- we haven’t time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”

“If you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for a moment.”

“I wish people were all trees and I think I could enjoy them then.”

“To create one’s world in any of the arts takes courage.”

“I decided to accept as true my own thinking.”

“You are one of my nicest thoughts.”

“It’s not enough to be nice in life. You’ve got to have nerve.”

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way… things I had no words for.”

“I think it’s so foolish for people to want to be happy. Happy is so momentary–you’re happy for an instant and then you start thinking again. Interest is the most important thing in life; happiness is temporary, but interest is continuous.”

“Where I was born and where and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest.”

“I can’t live where I want to, I can’t go where I want to go, I can’t do what I want to, I can’t even say what I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to.”

“I’m frightened all the time. But I never let it stop me. Never!”

LEONARDO DA VINCI

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

“As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.”

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

“Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?”

“Tears come from the heart and not from the brain.”

“Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”

“The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.”

“Learning never exhausts the mind.”

“While I thought I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.”

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.”

“I love those who can smile in trouble…”

“It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”

FRIDA KAHLO

“I don’t paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality.”

“I paint flowers so they will not die.”

“I paint myself because I am so often alone and because the subject I know best.”

“I think that little by little I’ll be able to solve my problems and survive.”

“Nothing is absolute.”

“Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away.”

“My painting carries with it the message of pain.”

“There is nothing more precious than laughter.”

“Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly?”

“I paint flowers so they will not die.”

“The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.”

“I am my own muse, I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.”

HENRI MATISSE

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

“I don’t paint things. I only paint the difference between things.”

“Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while one is working.”

“Creativity takes courage.”

“An artist must not feel under any constraint.”

“We ought to view ourselves with the same curiosity and openness with which we study a tree, the sky or a thought, because we too are linked to the entire universe.”

“A certain blue enters your soul. A certain red has an effect on your blood-pressure.”

“Art should be something like a good armchair in which to rest from physical fatigue.”

“To look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage.”

“Impressionism is the newspaper of the soul.”

“In love, the one who runs away is the winner.”

“Cutting into color reminds me of the sculptor’s direct carving.”

MICHELANGELO

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.”

“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.”

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

“Genius is eternal patience.”

“The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.”

“A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.”

“Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.”

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

“There is no greater harm than that of time wasted.”

“I am still learning.”

4

1: Fan’s Pokeball for Pork Channieyeollie.

2: PuppyHyun discovers Pokeball with a letter inside it dedicated to *coughs*hishusband*coughs*

3: PuppyHyun realizes it’s in English.

4: Pouts because baby can’t get a word written in there.