real beats

anonymous asked:

if karl marx was real he could beat you up, effortlessly. karl marx could rip your little twig body asunder

i have like half a foot on him and know all of his weaknesses

Public School Is A Goddamn Disater, Part 2: The Lovecraftian Madness of Machismo

Part 1 here, AKA: the Mantisocalypse (you don;t have to read it to understand this one, but you should anyway)

Content Warnings: Mental Illness, Attempted Murder, Sexual Content, Stalking, Abuse, Animal Abuse Mention, Emetophobia, US Public Education, Military Industrial Complex.  I’ve been told this is my most disturbing story, even if it’s hilarious, so mind your health.  All the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and Not-So-Innocent.

This is the story of Recruiting Sergeant Scott VS. The Lacrosse Jocks VS. Yours truly.

To understand this story, you must understand the dystopian hellscape that is US Public High School- I went to the NICE high school in town, with the AP curriculum and new building, where the the kids were generally too obsessed with getting into the ivy league to do anything worse than occasionally smoke on the roof.  Not even weed, just regular cigs.  During their off-periods, so they’d have time to febreeze their clothes and arrive to their next class early.  You know, the most boring fucking kids ever.

AND STILL, we were subjected to the various scourges of US public ed, namely-

-on-campus police officers and regular “what to do in case of a columbine event” drill.  We had Officer Munoz, who was a wonderful Latina Woman with the good sense to focus her efforts on getting kids away from abusive parents rather than persecuting brown kids, but we were VERY lucky on that front.  Still, having someone walking around with a gun and technically the authority to kill you, and having to hide in the science cabinets three times a year fucks you up.  Remember Officer Munoz though, She is Important.

- A weird, cult-like, frankly masturbatory attitude regarding athletic achievement.  The arts and sciences were stuck doing bake sales for supplies while the gym got re-done two years after the school opened.  This was tempered in an odd way at my school in that literally all the sports teams unequivocally sucked, with the exception of 

1.Marching Band, which went to nationals twice in the first two years the school was open 

2.Knowledge Bowl, where kevin and I took the team to 3rd in state in our first year, and only lost because Kevin had an asthma attack so we decided to let the other teams fight over the ‘lesser’ medals 

3.Lacrosse, which didn’t actually didn’t GO anywhere, but was a “real” sport and beat our ‘rival’ school, so the team got to be Big Men On Campus, and get away with all kinds of nonsense like eating in class when everyone else was forbidden or skipping tests for ‘practice’.  The three worst offenders were Dustin, Jack and “Rattlesnake Pete”, all of whom were budding neo-nazis and thus signed up for German.  With our Jewish teacher.  Remember them too.

-On-campus military recruiters.  As in, people who are legally allowed to exaggerate, manipulate and actually lie to minors to convince them to join the armed forces.  Ours was Sergeant Scott, and as much of a skeevy rat as he was I honestly felt bad for him, because remember, academic magnet high school so he had three kinds of kids to work with:

  • Kids who made the physical standards for the armed forces and were all about honoring their country via physical labor, but were dumb as shit and couldn’t pass the written exam.
  • Kids who could pass the written exam and were totally ready to bully some people in the third world, but couldn’t do a pull up if you covered the gym floor in cobras.
  • Kids who passed the physical and mental portions but were uniformly rabidly anti-military industrial complex, to the point where 35 of them crammed into his cubicle in the office he shared with Officer Munoz and Janitor Wendy, so they could hold a sit-in protest of the Iraq war and chant “Impeach Bush” and “War is Murder” at him  Someone chucked red paint on him, because they’re furious immature teenagers.  It was his first day.

Poor bastard.  Remember Him as well.

Keep reading

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@snakepitnet event: favorite lightning era slytherin

& maybe then we can stitch our halves together || m. flint ; p.1

IMPORTANT REMEMBER THAT

YOU ARE

A pedophile if you are sexually attracted to REAL LIFE prepubescent children

A rapist if you force sex or anything of a sexual nature onto A REAL LIFE person without their consent

A abuser if you physically beat A REAL LIFE person or emotionally abuse someone

YOU ARE NOT

A pedophile if you ship characters together that are younger or a ship something with a age gap

A rapist if you ship something considered “problematic”

A abuser if you post/draw/write about a ship that is considered “problematic”

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Understand the difference between FICTION vs REALITY.
One thing Anti’s like to say to counter people who ship “problematic” thing is that

“oh well if you want representation in fiction or that when a /insert thing here/ is wrong you get all upset!!! See fiction does effect reality”

I need you all to know that yes shows or books and things like that do effect reality to a point, but just because things CSI or Criminal Minds or any horror movie ever made exists doesn’t mean that all of a sudden crime and murder just started happening more. Why should I hate and not support things like Killing Stalking just because it shows “problematic” things?
This is where the fiction vs reality thing comes in to play.
Just because you see a movie/show/video game or anything do something
IT DOESN’T PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DO THOSE THINGS
Yes there are very very impressionable people out there who see something like GTA and are like “yup I’m gonna steal a car now” but just because a few people are stupid doesn’t mean we should censor everything and act like art is something that must be moderated.
If someone sees some fluffy fanart of JD/Veronica and genuinely thinks that their relationship is something completely healthy and normal then they probably take a second and then learn some things about the real world.
Does this mean we should get rid of that nice fluffy fanart because a few people are too stupid to understand that’s not how things actually work?

N o

We shouldn’t punish and shame and hide art because it doesn’t fit into a few peoples ideal.
Everyone has the right to draw or write anything they want as long as they can tell the difference between their art and the real world.


FINAL POINTS

You don’t need to have been raped or abused previously to ship “problematic” things because its a “coping” method.

Understand the difference between lines on a paper or pixals on a screen from a living, breathing, actual human being.

Don’t tell someone to “kill themselves” or that their “rapists” “abusers” “pedophiles” because they ship something you don’t like.

Don’t tell people who just say they don’t ship something that their “attacking people” or anything like that.

If someone ships something you don’t like or you see something that triggers you
BLOCK THE PERSON
BLOCK THE TAG
B L O C K
That mechanism exists for a reason.


Ship what you ship.

Don’t ship whatever you want.

Just don’t actually hurt or attack anyone

Stop being dicks to each other and just get on with your life.

Good Things™ in The Lightning Thief cast recording
  • “yEah, the gods are real [BEAT] and they have kids [BEAT] and those kids have isSUESSSSSSS”
  • “look….. I didn’t wanna be a halfblood” (!!!)
  • “but my life? HMM
  • when grover just straight up baas and then pretends that nothing happened
  • “she threw a peanut butter sandwich at you. I blocked it, with my head”
  • “………that’s dedicated for a substitute”
  • just all the blue food references in Strong
  • “oh look, a strange man in a Hawaiian shirt”
  • “you drool when you sleep” (!!!)
  • “for me, not for you, yOU’D BE DEAD”
  • “who am I to give relationship advice I’m literally the god of alcohol”
  • “another terrible daaaaaay” “MR BRUNNER” “at camp half blood-” “YOU’RE A HORSE” “where everythiiiing’s the worst” “WHAT IS HAPPENING”
  • “I need a drink”
  • “welcome to the dysfunctional family”
  • “it’s gonna be bloody murder she wrote
  • “you know what to do.” “yup. hide in a tree!”
  • “PLANTING AND PLANTING AND PLANTING’S A PAIN”
  • grover crying in the background after he sings about pan
  • “my father is kronos…….. remember my lecture he ate he his children” …. “chiron wins”
  • everyone’s singing about how shitty their parents are and percy just starts singing about how much he loves his mum
  • actual chills as the oracle sings the prophecy
  • ALL of Good Kid
  • “I’ll be the first” “aND I’LL BE THE SECOND FIRST!!!”
  • every time Annabeth says seaweed brain
  • “demon triplet math teachers”
  • “all our food was in there all our clothes were in there aLL OUR FOOD WAS IN THERE”
  • “I don’t wanna die in the Garden State!”
  • Grover talking to the squirrel
  • “that seems kinda,, nuts” ……….. “you hurt his feelings”
  • “aww is that a chihuahua?” “IT’S A CHIMERA”
  • THE DAM JOKES
  • BIANCA DI ANGELO’S TINY CAMEO AT THE LOTUS HOTEL
  • all of The Tree on The Hill holy shit
  • “maybe doesn’t let me go back and save her”
  • “it’s there reminding me of all I failed to be”
  • “do you have any josh groban?” “we will,, eventually”
  • “who has two turntables and three sick heads??? everybody give it up for DJ CERBERUS!”
  • “plus a half-goat with a great goatee!”
  • “you’re the two best friends this screw-up’s ever had”
  • every time Mr D gets Percy’s name wrong
  • the moment in Last Day of Summer that Percy realises Luke betrayed him
  • “don’t feel bad bc I’m usually about to die”
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– (b.b.)  Nikita Gill

Don't take my lawn decorations.

I had purchased my first home in a slightly lower class area of town, which is pretty close to an even lower class area of town. (Think slightly ghetto a mile from absolute trailer trash.) I know most of my immediate neighbors, since most of them are pretty loud and I’d rather be friendly with them than have them be my enemy.

Some local kid likes to go around collecting trash in his free time. A real nice kid, does it for really no reason. Whenever I see him, I usually get him a drink, lemonade or soda so he can stay hydrated. (California is hot.) Sometimes I give him a few dollars, I offer the kid $30 a month to mow my lawn 2x a month. So, kid has a gig for small, but consistent income.

The kid takes a lot of pride in his work. He mows the lawn, pulls weeds, moves rocks out of the driveway, and just makes my place look extra nice, even though I don’t even ask him to do any extra work. This guy is great.

This goes on for a few years, kid is now a senior in highschool. Family is not doing so great, dad just lost his main source of income, and mom had accumulated debt which put a lot of stress on their failing marriage. Mom was abusive verbally and sometimes physically to both the kid, and the Father. But the kid keeps on walking, doing work, volunteering and being a real happy, up beat dude.

Despite his troubles at home, the kid starts buying lawn decorations. Mostly small, little gnomes, some decorative rocks, and bird bath, and he decorates my yard. It looks amazing, but I knew he must have spent a lot of his own money on that. I try to reimburse him, and he denies. He won’t take it.
I know he needs a car, and I was about to get a newer one for myself, so I gave my mine for free. It really was the least I could do for this guy for everything he has done for me.

A few weeks later, a drunk driver T bones the kid, and he dies on the scene. I was devastated, his parents were devastated, and they soon after got a divorce.

They were fighting over who gets what, and the father discovers that the mother had a drug addiction she had been hiding. Straight out of left field. She wants everything they had, and she lawyers up to fight the battle. Due to the debt the mother had accumulated on the father’s bank account, he had really no money. And nobody knew where she got her money from.
As sad as it is, it’s not my affair. Until she sent me a letter claiming that the yard decorations are rightfully hers, and that she will take them “or else”. Now, this is a problem.

I get it, you lost your only child. You’re in a lot of pain as a parent. But you were never a good parent to him. I was closer to him than you, by a long shot.
So, I had a meeting with the father, and told him not to worry about the court costs. I decided I was going to fund him in court.

Long story short about their divorce battle, but he wins, and gets to keep everything, and even gets a restraining order on her. He then files for credit card fraud, and puts all the debt on her.

I heard from the father that she was recently arrested for driving while drunk, and was search and has a decent stash of meth on her. She is currently awaiting trial for that, while the father is living a life now relatively stress free.
And I got to keep my lawn decorations.
RIP Johnathan. You are missed.