tv aesthetic → the office

I’m not superstitious, but… I am a little stitious.

I created a motivational monster. Last fall when I started running, I would occasionally push Summer in the stroller. I was out of shape and would get winded and had to start walking. Well I would always say “Ready, Set, Go!” then start running again. She wasn’t talking much yet but would giggle and go WEEEEEE!

I kept doing it the sat several months when we would do family walks around the neighborhood or even with a shopping cart at the grocery and then take off.

Now, anytime I use the word “Ready” in a sentence she will say “Set, Go!” The coolest thing is that she has a hard time saying any words with an S at the beginning. It’s been hard for her to transition from the s sound to another sound, but by doing this it’s definitely helped her expand to more words than Set. Kids are so damn cool.

As I was sitting in my car today waiting for class I thought of a band I haven’t actively listened to in years. Every once in a while I’ll look up an old song by them but I haven’t actually looked them up until today and I’m glad that I did. In a weird way, I’m incredibly proud of who they’ve become as a band and as individuals. It’s astonishing to see how they’re sense of style has changed over the years and to be honest Bill’s hair was one of the main reasons I started listening to them (😅) I wish that I had been a more devoted fan when I was younger, but I’m really like their music again, and I’m happy about it. Their songs are really deep and meaningful and they’re just great people. You should look them up if you don’t know about them.

Modern Au Part 8 (I think?)

Gather round children, it’s time for the finale (((((:

           Kicks and Pranks

I roll over, sighing as all my weight shifts with me. I get a hard kick in my diaphragm for my movement, and I hiss as I set my hand on my stomach, feeling the foot pushing there. With a huff, I roll again, and this time get another kick in my side. “If the two of you don’t stop moving in there, I’m pushing you out right now.” I growl, as I massage the spot. Cody snorts at the end of the bed before rolling over when I shift my leg a little more and accidentally almost shove him off.

           It’s early morning at this point, and I still can’t sleep. I feel like a balloon is expanding in my stomach, and technically it has been since day one of this stupid pregnancy. No one told me twins were an option though, and I certainly wouldn’t have agreed to try for a baby if I knew two were going to be coming out instead.

           Shoving the blankets back, I climb out of bed, feeling both of the babies shift drastically inside of me. I gasp softly at that, still not used to it even after all these months. Technically, I’m not supposed to be getting up anymore, per Doctor Wallace’s orders, but I can’t take this anymore, I need to walk around. I need some tea, and I need a walk, I tell myself as I get up.

           Cody lifts his head and then panting happily, he crawls off the bed and then follows me out of the bedroom. He trots along beside me in the hall, and I pat his head as I slowly enter the kitchen and open the fridge. To eat, or not to eat? I hum to myself as I look everything over. My hand instantly falls to my stomach like it had been doing for the past couple weeks, and I caress one of the heavy spots while I hum a soft tune that had been on the radio today.

           “Mare, what in God’s name are you doing up right now? It’s 3 in the morning.” Cal’s sleepy voice grumbles in the doorway. I glare at him over my shoulder, not the least bit surprised that he was awake still. Shifting aside a pack of frozen meat, I grab the carton of yogurt and reply simply, “I’m hungry.”

           He rubs his eye with the palm of his hand and then asks sleepily, “Do you want me to make you something? You shouldn’t be up walking around love.”

           I snort at that and then walking across the kitchen, I pull open the drawer and reach in for a spoon. One of the babies kicks lazily, as if to punctuate his point. I frown deeply at that and then close the drawer with my hip. “It’s good for me to walk around. Besides, they’re not that heavy.”

           “Mare, love, please.”

           I glare at him again as I pass and make my way into the living room. Cody follows dutifully, his eyes on me as I sink onto the couch and he comes to join me. He had been following me around for days lately, whining and crying when I left him alone in a room. Shade had joked that it was because he saw Cal being protective of me and had taken it upon himself to be that way too. There were one to many protective things in this apartment now though, and it was getting stifling. Cal follows me and stands in the doorway, running his fingers through his hair to try and tame it. I eat a spoonful of yogurt and then glance at him and tease, “Oh please, don’t be such a worrywart. I’ve got another three weeks before they’re even close to being due.”

           He draws his lips into a tight line and says, “Ada said that twins are unpredictable Mare, that they can come at any second…”

           “Cal, will you just,” I pause then, my mind going a hundred different directions at once. Oh I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, not after he had done this to me. Not that it was entirely his fault, it was mine too, I had been the one to start grumbling about wanting a baby after Farley had had one. My mother had immediate looked at me after she had held her first grandchild and had narrowed her eyes before teasing lightly that babies tended to come in groups. She couldn’t have been more wrong and right at the same time. It had taken Cal and me exactly a year after Nico’s birth to conceive. I had cried holding the pregnancy test, and had called him to tell him while he was at work. After that, things had been great until I’d popped weeks before Farley had. My mother had looked me over and asked if I was eating okay. I’d been furious at her insinuation that I wasn’t following the strict pregnancy diet that I had laid out after doing research. I’d dragged Cal to my doctor and she had confirmed with a laugh that I was pregnant with twins. I had made Cal sleep on the couch that night, and he was probably still confused why did that. In all honesty, I had been pissed that I wasn’t going to be pushing out just one baby, and I had thought it was his fault as much as my own.

           Now though, for all the coddling that he knew I hated, payback would be a bitch.

           “Oh my god,” I whispered as I set the yogurt carton down and set my hand on my stomach. He straightens in the doorway, his eyes widening to the size of moons as he asks, “What? What is it?”

           “I think, oh my god…I think my water just broke.”

           He stands stiff as a pole for a solid minute and then tears out of the room shouting, “I told you! I told you that you should have just stayed in bed! Just wait there, I’ll grab everything you need. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED? I mean do you need-“

           I snorted and then grabbed my yogurt carton again and then sank back into the pillows on the couch before shifting and propping my feet up. Cody huffs in worry from his position by the door where he had sprinted to after Cal had taken off. I laugh at his confused reaction to Cal and then say, “Come here Cody, everything’s okay buddy.”

           He saunters back over to the couch and then turns in a few circles before sinking into the spot where I can still stroke his head and scratch him behind the ears. The babies kick and squirm and I wince as I set my hand on my stomach to massage it. Cal comes running by the doorway on his way out the door and I laugh as I called him back. He turns around and then says, “Don’t worry, I’m just going to go down and the start the car, and then I’ll come back up and-“

           “Cal I’m not in labor, calm down, it was a joke.” I laugh out loud at the confused look on his face, and then turn back to my yogut the bag he’s holding slams onto the floor and he hisses, “That was not funny, Mare.”

           “I thought it was, and that’s all the matters.” I say as I stick my tongue out at him. He crosses the room and then sinks onto the couch. He watched me with narrowed eyes for a few seconds before sighing and leaning back into the couch to look up at the ceiling. “It was pretty funny.”

           “Your reaction was priceless. I wish I’d gotten it on video.” I reply casually as lick the back of my spoon to get the excess yogurt off. Cal turns his head to look back at me, and with a smile, he slowly lays down to rest his head on my stomach. I groan at that and then try to push him away saying, “Get off! You’ll squish them!”

           He snorts and then intertwining his fingers with mine he says, “They’re hyper tonight.”

           Rolling my eyes, I run my other hand through his hair before saying, “They got your restless legs.”

           Cal purses his lips in annoyance and then grumbles, “They’re not restless…”

           I laugh at that and watch as he slips his fingers out of mine and traces patterns on the slit of skin that appeared after my shirt rode up slightly. The baby’s seem to still at their father’s touch, and I lay my head back as his touch lulls me to sleep too. I could fall asleep on this couch, and I was more than willing to as well. Outside, the summer morning is young, and the sky carries the bright lights of New York. In a few weeks, there would be two more lives to live, to prosper, to fall in love, and to grow old in it as well. Through heavy eyelids, I glance down at Cal who appears to have fallen asleep. With a smile I close my eyes as well, letting my hand drop from his hair. “I love you,” I whisper softly. To my surprise I feel his lips quirk into a smile on my skin as he presses a delicate kiss on my stomach and then whispers, “I love you all, so much more than you will ever know.”

           I believed every word of it too, I always have, and I always will.

And that concludes the modern au. Sorry if ya’ll were expecting there to be actual babies but I’m too lazy. BUT!!!! YA’LL CAN CHECK OUT MY NEXT SET OF MODERN AU’s THAT IS CONVIENIENTLY TITLED NURSEY VERSE and may or may not feature the bebes dealing with a bebe ((((((((((((: The first chapter should be up soon. Once again it features a modern mare and cal, and mostly just the two of them with cameos from others in the series. (: Stays tuned for it!!! (:

Signs as Tokio Hotel Songs


Make some noise
Here on earth
To the world
For all the things
You believe in

Let them hear you
Let them feel you
Make them know
That you care

Zoom Into Me

Is there anybody out there
Walking alone
Is there anybody out there
Out in the cold
One heartbeat
Lost in the crowd

Is there anybody shoutin’
What no one can hear
Is there anybody drownin’
Pulled down by the fear
I feel you
Don’t look away

Zoom into me
Zoom into me
I know you’re scared
When you can’t breathe
I will be there
Zoom into me

In Your Shadow (I Can Shine)

I hate my life,
I can’t sit still for
One more single day
I’ve been here waiting for,
Something to live and die for
Let’s run and hide
Out of touch, out of time
Just get lost without a sign
As long as you stand by my side,

In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine

Rescue Me

This used to be our secret
Now I’m hiding here alone
Can’t help but read our names on the wall
And wash them off the stone

I trusted you in every way
But not enough to make you stay
Turn around
I’ve lost my ground

Come and rescue me
I’m burning, can’t you see
Come and rescue me
Only you can set me free
Come and rescue me
Rescue me

Hurricanes and Suns

Love is a game for everyone
But this is you and me
We had a thousand lies than wanted
We have hurricanes and suns
Hey, don’t you know we just begun?
Come pain, come hurt
See the halo
Hey, hey, halo!
Come pain, come hurt
See the halo
Hey, hey, halo
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!

Human Connect to Human

We meet somewhere
One night to share
Just you and me
We spread the seed
Our schedule
So natural

Human connect to human
Boy meets girl, know what to do
Human connect to human
How can I connect to you
Human connect to human
Boy meets girl, know what to do
Human connect to human
How can I connect to you


You’re automatic and your heart’s like an engine,
I die with every beat.
You’re automatic and your voice is electric,
Why do I still believe?
It’s automatic, every word in your letter.
A lie that makes me bleed.
It’s automatic when you say things get better.
But they never…
There’s no real love in you.
There’s no real love in you.
There’s no real love in you.
Why do I keep lovin’ you?

Love Who Loves You Back

There’s a call in the wild
There’s a snake in your bed
And it’s telling you something
Yeah I like it like that
When you’re feeling lonely
Go help yourself
Do whatever you desire

Throw your arrows
Hit her heart
If they don’t react
Love who loves you back
The perfect storm
What turns you on
You can have all that
Love who loves you back

Turn me on turn me on turn me on
Turn me on turn me on
Love who loves you back
Turn me on turn me on
Love who loves you back
Turn me on turn me on
Love who loves you back

Ready Set Go

Ready, set, go it’s time to run
The sky is changing we are one
Together we can make it while the world is crashing down
Don’t you turn around

We are looking back again
On loneliness and pain
Never been so wide awake
Breathe slowly in and out
somewhere beyond the clouds
I can see the morning break
Too young to live a lie
Look into my eyes

Girl Got A Gun

Time that we, have the talk
Are we on, are we off
On the phone, reality
Every word, is killin’ me

Dirty bitch, beautiful
Treat me like, animal
You changing rooms, I never knew
Let me get, over you

Girl got a gun, girl got a gun gun gun
Girl got a gun, girl got a gun bang bang
Girl got a gun, girl got a gun gun gun
Girl got a gun, girl got a gun bang bang

1000 Oceans

We have to go 1000 oceans wide
1000 dark years when time has died
1000 stars are passing by
We have to go 1000 oceans wide
1000 times against an endless tide
We’ll be free to live our life


Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world,
To the end of time,
Where the rain won’t hurt
Fighting the storm,
Into the blue,
And when I lose myself I think of you,
Together we’ll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon.
Just me and you

Carry On writing prompt #1

You are Penelope Bunce. One day, while studying, you discover a powerful time-traveling spell that allows you to briefly visit any moment within the last two years. You travel back to that moment, but your arrival causes a change of events that alters one detail of your present.