Y’all are acting so surprised when I say I hate Donald Trump and his supporters but y’all are reaaaal silent when it comes to the people who hate me (a bisexual girl) and POC and immigrants. Y’all are saying all this “love and accept everyone, hatred only brings more hatred,” Ghandi bullshit rhetoric but y’all aren’t talking about how they hate us and how they want us dead and they want us out their white supremacist country and how they want to electrocute the gay out of us and how they want to split up families and how they want to continue to let police kill POC and how they want to take away a woman’s right to her own body. Why do y’all expect us to be kind to the people who literally want us dead? And why aren’t y’all talking to the people who, you know, literally want us dead?
I’ve started Eyewitness cause the two main characters reminded me of Albus and Scorpius from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
Now I’m on episode 2 and the blond guy has a thing with a black girl named Rose and I was like are you for reaaaal?
Request: could you do one where the reader is hanging out with emily, jj, and garcia, and is also really drunk and accidentally tells about their secret relationship with hotch?? thanks :)
Warnings: Mmmm Hotch’s butt ;) And swearing.
THIS WILL BE FUN! ~AdminAnna
You, Jayje, Garcia and Em decided to have a girls night. It was a Friday night and no one had to go into the office tomorrow. You’d all decided to meet at your place two hours after work. You’d gone to the liquor store, stocking up on all the good kinds.
“A BAU girls night?” Your boss, Aaron, said from the other end of the phone.
You took the plastic cups out of the cabinet, “Yup. Booze, games and no work tomorrow. It should be a fun sleepover.”
Aaron snorted, “A sleepover too? I’d pay to be there.”
“Oh yeah that’d go over reaaaal well.” You lit the rest of the candles, “Hey ladies welcome. Just wanted to tell you our boss is coming, who’s also been my boyfriend for the last 3 months.”
“You don’t have to phrase it exactly like that.” I could tell he was rolling his eyes.
You stuck your lip out in a pout, “You mean you don’t wanna see us pillow fight in our underwear?”
“Wait you actually do that-“
The doorbell rang.
“Oops sorry.” You giggled, interrupting him, “Gotta go. Love you stud.”
You chuckled to yourself as you opened the door for the rest of your team.
3 hours and many many drinks later, you were all howling with laughter.
“I swear to God,” Garcia whipped her eyes, “I’ve never seen Morgan so surprised in my entire life.”
You held your stomach, tears pouring down your face. JJ and Emily were in the same state.
“Let’s play truth or daaaaaaare,” JJ wiggled her eyebrows up and down.
“What are we twelve?” Emily soffed.
You shook your head, “No she’s right! It’ll be sooooo much fun!”
“Okay okay rules!” Penelope raised her cup, “If you don’t want to answer your truth question you have to take another shot.”
“I’ll go first!” JJ volunteered, “Emily. Truth or dare.”
JJ pondered for a minute, pursing her lips, “Have you ever slept with someone on the team?”
“No!” Emily flushed, shaking her head.
“Have you ever wanted to?” Garcia piped up.
“T-that’s another question!” She sputtered, drunkly.
We all burst into hysterics.
“That’s a yes,” You accused.
“Fuck you guys!”
“Okay okay!” Emily stopped us, “Garcia. Truth or dare.”
“Truth!” She saluted.
Emily narrowed her eyes at her, “Did you really get Morgan’s badge number tattooed on your butt?”
“WHAT?” She screeched, “No! Where did you hear that?”
“It was one of the many rumors about you two!” JJ smiled, “I thought it was true to be honest.”
You couldn’t breathe you were laughing so hard.
“I can assure you my butt is number-less.” She shook her head, “Y/N! Truth or dare.”
You raised your hands in surrender, “I’ll take a dare you pussies.”
Garcia pointed at you, “I dare you to call the last guy you had sex with and leave a message telling him to call you because you miss his dick!”
“Oh no!” You moaned, putting your head in your hands dramatically, “No no no.”
“Yes!” Emily danced in her seat, “Yes I love this!”
“Okay okay!” You conceded, getting your phone out of your pocket.
Your girls laughed as you scotched back a couple feet so they couldn’t see who it was. You thought you were safe back there. You dialed Aaron’s number You bit your lip. You had to remember you couldn’t give away who it was. It rang a bunch before going to voicemail.
“Hey….” You couldn’t say his name, “You. If you don’t know who this is by now you suck. Annnyywayysss. I just wanted to call and say that I miss you. I miss you and your… magic stick… and you should call me back… so I can tell you more about…. stuff I miss.”
You hit end.
“I’m gunna kill you guys!” You yelled over their howling.
You chucked the empty plastic cup at Garcia. She didn’t even notice it hit her. She was laying flat on the floor, trying to get ahold of herself.
“Lay it in the middle incase he calls back!” Emily reached for your phone.
“NO!” You clutched it to your chest, “No can’t do that. Must keep his identity a secret.”
“Why?” She raised an eyebrow.
You were saved when something vibrated against your boobs.
“Oh shit,” You felt yourself pale. It was Aaron.
“ANSWER IT!” They all three yelled at the same time.
You slowly hit the green accept, “Heelllooooo.”
“I am never. Ever. Letting a night like this happen again.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle, “What? Are you mad I left you a message about Aaron JR?”
“Aaron?” Garcia asked, grabbing your phone out of your hand and put it up to her ear, “Who is this?”
You gasped, your hands coming to cover your mouth dramatically. Garcia’s expression sobered and her mouth dropped.
“Alright. Yeah sure.”
She handed the phone slowly back to you, staring off into the distance.
“Well they all know now,” Aaron chuckled sleepily, “I love you Y/N. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Love you babe,” You mumbled, eyes still on Garcia.
“WHAT WHAT?” JJ was bursting with questions.
Garcia turned to look at you with an awed expression, “SHES SLEEPING WITH HOTCH.”
“WHAT!” Emily and JJ screeched.
“And you call his dick Aaron JR!” Garcia screamed.
“OH MY GOD!” They all called.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” JJ dropped her glass.
Garcia gripped your arm, “How did this happen?”
“Is he in good in bed as we think he is?” Emily smirked at you.
New Chapter - Like i’m Gonna Lose You is up on AO3 :)
Tommy was pacing, biting his nails nervously as Felicity was rolled back into her room. He had been forced to stay there while they were patching her up. Fortunately she didn’t need major surgery, just stitches after the X-ray had confirmed there was no internal damage.
“Wow. I feel… I feel reaaaal good right now,” Felicity said with a smile as she patted the blanket covering her lap.
“I gave you the good drugs. It’s going to hurt when they wear off but the nurse will give you painkillers if you ask her. Don’t hesitate if you need some,” the doctor explained with a gentle smile. “It was through and through. No damage. You’ll have to wear a sling to make sure you don’t tear your stitches and hurt yourself. I’d say at least a few days or until you feel comfortable without it. I’ll make sure you get an appointment for a check up in a week so we can make sure everything is healing properly. I’m keeping you for the night, though.”
“Doctor… even if you look like George Clooney and I reaaaally had a thing for Dr Ross back then, I have a boyfriend,” Felicity whispered with wide eyes. “He wouldn’t want you to keep me for the night.”
“Neither would my husband, rest assured,” Dr Gavin replied with a small chuckle. “Nurse Jackie will bring you a sling as soon as possible and help you with it. She’ll show your boyfriend how to put it on.”
Tommy nodded, forcing himself to sit down next to her. He wasn’t her boyfriend but he’d pay attention nonetheless at least so he could show… whoever would take care of her afterwards how to properly do it.
“This is not my boyfriend,” Felicity chirped. “He’s Tommy Merlyn and no. No boyfriend. I mean, he’s charming. And very sweet. And also very funny, I have to give him that. But I already found my prince. He has the bluest eyes I have ever seen.”
Tommy frowned, tilting his head at her dreamy tone. “Are you OK?” he turned his head to face the nurse who was checking Felicity’s file as the doctor left the room. “Is she OK?”
“Yes, she is alright,” Felicity giggled. “So am I by the way. Thank you for asking.”
Tommy took a step forward then paused, observing her. She seemed… quite cheerful and a little out of it. “… Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I am… reaaaaal good,” Felicity nodded.
“I think the drugs are working extremely well on her,” the nurse interrupted them gently. “Don’t worry. It happens sometimes.”
“I was telling Dr Ross, I mean Dr Gavin, about how you’re not my boyfriend. Because my boyfriend has the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen and I really hope our babies will have his eyes too.”
“Hum… yes, I know, I was there.” Tommy said slowly, blinking. “But why are you talking about kids in the first place, that I don’t know.”
“I’m not talking about kids. I’m talking about our children, Tommy. I want to have Oliver’s eyes. Wait, no. I want them to have Oliver’s eyes.” She paused, gasping, her eyes so wide it was almost comical. “Oh no! I wasn’t supposed to tell you! I want babies with Oliver one day.”
Okay so a few months ago I went to the store and asked for two rats.
Two RATS, salesperson. They sold me one rat and one Widget. I don’t fully understand what Widget is, but having had rats for twenty years I can tell you that I have NEVER had a rat that actually WANTED to hang out on people’s heads, much less hang out on people’s heads CONSTANTLY, much less STAND UP ON HER HIND LEGS ON PEOPLE’S HEADS.
If anyone has any idea what the heck this animal is, let me know. A common theory was “meerkat” because of her need to be on the highest surface scouting as lookout, but then when she JUMPED INTO THE BATHTUB to be on my head, the theory changed to “kangaroo.”
Idk, signal boost and tell me what animal spirit has possessed the body of this “rat.”
P.S. I love Widget so much and my “Gettin’ reaaaal tired of your BS, Widge” is mostly satirical cuz I think it’s adorable.. I just … Widget. Like . . . Widge. Come on. What are you DOING with your life? Get a job.