re wire

How to Tune into Your Needs

If you grew up emotionally neglected or abused, you may have developed the belief that your needs are not important and that you are selfish for having them. You may even automatically put others before yourself without thinking, as it has been so engrained in you. Here are some tips for how to tune into yourself, and begin putting your needs first:

1. Use your feelings as your guide. If you’re feeling angry, sad, frustrated, etc, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” You may not even be sure of what you’re feeling… maybe you can only pick up on feeling something “bad” or “uncomfortable.” Explore it. Find the roots. Honor your feelings. Because our feelings are indicators of our values and boundaries, and when they are being violated.

2. Recognize your self-doubt, if you have it. Many victims of abuse or neglect have become wired to believe they are “bad” or at fault for anything unpleasant or hurtful that happens. Doubt can become the fog between you and your needs. Using mindfulness, separate your self-doubt from who you are. You are not your self-doubt. You are worthy. You are good. You are enough. These are truths, but you have been brainwashed to believe otherwise.

3. Take time to build self-awareness into yourself and why you struggle with meeting your needs. Usually it is because of your childhood and how your parents raised you that have caused you to become that way–Mom called you selfish and shamed you. Dad neglected or left you. Explore your story, and give voice to the feelings that come up.

4. Make a practice into telling yourself frequently, “My needs are important,” and “I will honor my needs.” Everyone has needs. Everyone. While everyone else is advocating for theirs, it is up to you to advocate for yours. Repetition and practice will re-wire your brain from “My needs aren’t important” to “My needs ARE important and deserve to be heard.”

5. Practice tuning into yourself throughout the day. Ask yourself, how am I feeling right now? What do I need? Be patient with yourself, especially in the beginning. It may be difficult hearing yourself initially, but the more you tune in, the more you’ll be able to recognize your inner voice.

6. Make sure to have support! At times dealing with the feelings that come up may be overwhelming–like a beginner starting out on a 10-mile run. But take one step at a time. Having the support of a therapist or loved one will help you through the process. Remind yourself that you’re building a new skill from scratch. You can do it!

When Quiet Is Violent - Part 2

Masterlist  -  Part 1  -  Part 3

Summary: You’re retired, living a quiet and secure life when your ex, Steve Rogers, turns up on your doorstep with his best friend, seeking refuge. (bucky x reader, enhanced reader)

Prompt(s): Okay I know I already wrote Night Walks with these prompts but I really wasn’t happy with it, so here is attempt #2. @pandarositarequest: 93 and 94… but Reader being upset rather than Bucky?

93.“I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
94. “I had a bad dream again.”
Plus anon request: 64 “Here, take my blanket.”

Warnings: swearing, nightmare, that’s about it. :)

Word Count: 5168 (woops…)

Author’s Note: Okay team, enjoy the fluff while you can… 

Originally posted by you-didnt-see-that-cuming

The next morning you’d woken early, it was bright and damn cold. Snowing again. But Bucky was warm, and breathing slowly and softly and you didn’t want to move, wishing you could stay there where you’d fallen asleep, tucked close to his side long into the morning. But there were three people to whom you certainly did not want to explain this situation so you dragged yourself as quietly and gently as you could away from Bucky’s sleeping body beside you.

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Soft

Originally posted by jonesinforbones

Pairing: Bones x Reader

Word Count: 2724

Warnings: MAJOR ANGST (self-image issues, insecurity, self-loathing), brief description of injury, swearing

A/N:  I’ve been feeling not so hot for the past few days so I thought writing about it would help things out. This fic is intensely personal to me, so I hope you guys enjoy it. 

More than anything you were glad your quarters didn’t have a mirror outside the bathroom. You weren’t sure you could handle looking at yourself right now, especially not in the skin-tight uniform top and the short skirt that came with it. You’d convinced Scotty a long time ago to let you wear coveralls instead, but the Captain had called you up to the bridge for briefing on an away mission, and you hadn’t been able to convince him to let you keep the coveralls on. Normally, you’d just pop on a pair of tights underneath and call it a day, but your last pair had torn where your thighs rubbed together and you hadn’t gotten around to fixing them yet.

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sarnaitairakh  asked:

Quick, make an Au Ra with really dark skin, red hair and green eyeliner and call him Lord Aku.

I sort of already have that with my Tairakh, but if you’re willing to wire me a Fantasia to perfect that design…

//so I was thinking this morning (always a dangerous sign) that I’ve talked a bit recently about how the Tumblr RP community isn’t always very good at encouraging people to find ways to manage or get to their drafts, and is instead more likely to coddle peoples’ anxieties without actually helping them at all. 

So this is a post of a few tips and tricks that might help RPers manage some of the more common anxieties I see crop up in our circle. Now, I’m not a full psychologist and nor am I licensed counselor. But I do have my master’s degree in clinical psychology with the intention to go on for the PhD (or get licensed to practice if I don’t get into a program) so I do kinda know what I’m talking about. Hopefully some of this advice is a little helpful:

1. “My drafts just stress me out.” This is a pretty common complaint, but I think in most circumstances it’s caused by stress going on outside of the RP world. Take a step back and breathe. Handle whatever is going on in your real life. That always comes first. If you come back and your drafts are still causing you to feel panicky, the next step is to find out the more specific reasons why. That’s going to help you best address the anxiety. Read on for some common reasons.

2. “I’ve gotten so behind, there’s so many and I’m overwhelmed.” This happens all the time! You take a hiatus for a week or two, or life just got really busy for a while, or just lost muse and now it’s back. But in the meantime, your drafts have piled up- suddenly you’re looking at 20, 50, 100- how do you even start? 

The best way I’ve found to handle this is to break them up into smaller chunks. It might be helpful to copy and paste your partners’ replies over into one or more word documents. You can then further organize those word documents even more. One for short replies, one for long, one for medium length. Or you can organize by muses, by how long the draft has been in your folder- whichever way you want to handle this. If you want to put one reply per document, you can organize them into folders instead. How you do this is entirely up to you.

Set a small goal for yourself- even one draft a day is better than no drafts at all. But by breaking the work up into chunks, you’ve taken a lot of the pressure off yourself. A goal of 1-5 drafts a day is a lot better than looking at all 50. 

Another tip- use the queue! Or simply keep completed drafts saved in the drafts folder until you’ve caught up enough to start posting. The queue will stagger your posts so replies aren’t coming out all at once, and your partners aren’t able to immediately reply back. And obviously keeping them in drafts even after they’re done lets you have more time to catch up. These are just a couple of tips, however, and there are probably other good ways to manage drafts. Find what works best for you!

And don’t be afraid to drop a couple if you have no muse for those threads anymore. Just let your partner know, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, they’re just an asshole and who needs that, right? It is better to communicate that you’re dropping them, however, so you’re partner isn’t left hanging.

3. “I haven’t replied in weeks, I’m worried my partner hates me.” I guarantee this is not true. Most people in the rp community are very understanding of slow response time. Your partners want to rp with you- they’ll be thrilled to see a response, even if it’s been several weeks. Responding, even slowly, shows a lot more dedication and excitement over your threads. 

So if it’s been several weeks, and you finally have muse for that thread and want to reply to it, but feel guilty or anxious because it’s been so long- reply anyway. Your partner will be so happy to see your response. 

Another way to alleviate this anxiety is to simply talk to your partner. And I know, this can be scary- but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do the thing that makes you anxious. Take it slow if you need to, but communication is the best way to feel better about it. And I guarantee, you are going to feel so much more proud of yourself if you did the thing that made you anxious than if you didn’t.

That goes for replying as well. 

4. “I feel so inadequate compared to others. I should just stop.” This is an example of what mental health professionals call a “negative automatic thought”, or “NAT”. And like real gnats, these little thoughts get all up in your ears and start buzzing around. They can spiral out of control very quickly, until you feel absolutely terrible about yourself. These thoughts are very common in people with both anxiety and depression. 

But the thing is, they can be changed. You can actually re-wire your brain with a little work so that it won’t think these thoughts quite as often. One of the most effective ways is to simply replace the negative thought with a positive one- even if you don’t believe it. So if your negative thought is “I’m horrible compared to other people,” a replacement thought could be “No, I’m just as good as anyone else,” or “my writing is unique to me and it has value.”

You will not believe yourself at first, and it will seem a little bit weird when you start. It’s also a little challenging- your negative thoughts are automatic, you’re so used to thinking them that you aren’t even fully aware of it it half the time. But when you do catch yourself spiraling off into those negative thoughts- try to stop them. This is something we teach in therapy and over time, it does help. And it does get easier.

5. “It has to be PERFECT.” Perfectionism is at the root of a lot of peoples’ anxieties. But I challenge you with this- why? Why does it have to be perfect? What will happen if it’s not perfect? 

The answer to that, usually, is “my partners will hate me/lose interest/think I’m stupid or a bad writer.” Perfectionism is usually a fear of judgment, and it’s usually fueled by feelings of inadequacy or fears of failure. So to that, I refer you back to the previous advice about negative automatic thoughts. 

Challenge your thinking about your perfectionism. A good replacement thought for this one is “even if it’s not perfect, my partner will still be happy that I responded. My writing is still valuable to them.” Another good one- “imperfection means there’s room to grow. Mistakes don’t mean I’m a failure or no good.” 

In general, don’t let anxiety say “I can’t do this.” You can do it. Anxiety is not a permanent state. The body cannot sustain it very long- the elevated heart rate, heavy breathing, heightened arousal- it’s physically impossible for it to last. Eventually, your body will start to calm itself and even back out. This is something that is very hard to sit with, because your natural instinct is to run away from the thing that’s making you anxious. Your instinct is to close the drafts folder, to close the messenger, to log out of tumblr and ignore it all completely. But the truth is, that only makes your anxiety worse in the long run. 

Now, if these tips don’t help, or you’re finding your anxiety is so bad that it’s affecting your daily life in almost everything- I encourage people to please see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or some other mental health professional. Anxiety that’s chronically preventing you from doing the things you enjoy is anxiety that probably needs treatment. Having the extra support of a therapist or medication often makes it possible to implement some of these strategies, or find better ones that work for you. Especially if you’re having a hard time managing things on your own. 

Anybody that wants to add to this with other ideas that have been helpful to you, please feel free to do so. 

Therapist's email

In summary, her email said:

• Me not wanting to talk now is reflecting me as a child being afraid to say what I’m feeling because of the response I feared I would get.
• if I can take a risk and tell her things, and then she responds differently, it will give me a different experience and re-wire my brain
• in order for me to have this new and different experience, she has to wait for me to take the risk at my own pace, and not rescue me thereby taking the opportunity away from me
• she wants me to have the experience of being valued and in control and I’ll get this if I can lead the conversation rather than her directing it
• she knows it’s all really difficult
• but I’m doing great

Rejet Focus Event New Title Announcements!!

Rejet had a livestream and announced three new drama CD titles including a sequel!!

Dear Vocalist Wired

Re-O-Do CV: Masuda Toshiki

Joshua CV: Shimazaki Nobunaga

Judah CV:Saito Souma

Edasshu CV: Kimura Ryohei

Momochi CV: Toyonaga Toshiyuki

Yuu CV: Hanae Natsuki

Corpse Heart

Lizzy CV: Kimura Ryohei

Valerie CV: Masuda Toshiki

Kuu CV: Toyonaga Toshiyuki

Kirumi CV: Shimono Hiro

Neru CV: Ishikawa Kaito

Aron CV: Ono Yuki

Shukyoku no Dolls

Noa CV: Kaji Yuki

Richard CV: Kondo Takeshi

Dietrich CV: Namikawa Daisuke

Rolf CV: Nojima Kenji

Darius CV: Kimura Ryohei

Fei CV: Toriumi Kousuke

I got to the part in Caliban’s War (pg 325-327) where Amos talks about his past a little bit and-

Originally posted by sawdustonchips

There’s knowing about his past and then there’s reading it in his words.  There’s knowing what horrors lie in humanity’s darkest corners and then there’s seeing someone that clawed their way out of there talk about it.  No matter how many people I meet who’ve been touched by that darkness, their stories are always a punch to the gut and this was no different.  If you want to know why I care about a fictional character so much: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again - he’s fictional.  His story is not.

What really got to me though is that he didn’t share that part of himself for his own sake.  Amos could’ve kept it buried forever, no problem.

But Naomi wanted to understand why he beat the shit out of a kid for shaking Prax down for more food to get video footage of his daughter.  Because anyone who knows Amos knows he doesn’t instigate violence.  He won’t start a fight, he’ll finish it.  So why does some kid asking for more food got him torqued?  It has Naomi shaken.

“And you,” she continued. “I depend on you.  I know you’ve always got my back, no matter what.  Except maybe not now, because the Amos I know doesn’t beat a skinny kid half to death, no matter how much chicken he asks for. I feel like everyone’s losing themselves.  I need to understand, because I’m really, really, frightened.”

It’s been 25 years and he  f i n a l l y  cracks. And it’s not even a crack. It’s not a breakdown brought on by an event triggering these memories.  He’s opening himself up for Naomi.  For her to understand him better.  To soothe her fears.  I just.  My  f e e l i n g s.  FUCK.

I cannot tell you what it means to me to have this relationship with Amos and Naomi.  One of the most intimate relationships I’ve ever seen and sex and romance have zilch to do with it.  Not that I’m not a huge shipper because I totally am but with these two …  I just wanted to see two people love and support and protect one another without romance or blood relation being a part of it.  Because, oh yeah, friends exist.  And they love, support, and protect you too. And these types of relationships are possible between men and women.

Anyway, in this convo with Naomi, it’s not like he’s directly talking about himself. He’s talking about Baltimore and the squeeze trade and what happens to the children that are a result of that … “trade.”

But Naomi sees straight through his bullshit because of course she does.  He beat the shit out of that kid because he knows what happens to lost children. He knows because he was one.  She directly asks him and he skirts right over it.

“Some wind up finding a way to ship offworld, and they never go back?” Naomi asked, her voice quiet.

“Maybe,” Amos said, his voice flat and conversational as ever.

She tries to be sympathetic and he’s just like NOPE. NOT TODAY. DO NOT WANT.

“Amos,” she said, her voice thick. “I never–”

“So I’d like to find this little girl before someone uses her up, and she disappears.”

Anyone else feel like they just took a kick to the gut?  Holy fuck man.  He’s still talking about himself.  He was used up.  Whoever he could’ve been is gone. Disappeared.  Buried under layers and layers and layers of trauma. Who he is now is defined by that brutal childhood.  Can you even call it that?  When was he ever a child?  A lot of the way he acts is due to that trauma - the way very little rattles him, his voice always flat/conversational, dissociation, his inability to divulge right from wrong on his own, etc.  When you’re in the middle of experiencing a traumatic event, your brain shuts down a lot of unnecessary functions (unnecessary in terms of surviving the event).  And when you experience trauma long term, those things get shut down permanently.  Your brain gets tired of flipping the on and off switch because what’s the point? Your brain is permanently re-wired into survival mode.  That’s Amos.  And my feels shatter for the ten billionth time today goddammit why am I always drawn to the broken ones?  But he’s not completely emotionless or without caring for others - we’ve seen him smile and laugh and get irritated.  He clearly cares about Naomi, and Alex and Jim now.  But when the ugly rears its head?  He’s pretty much “Yeah, and?”  The ugly was his stomping grounds.  It doesn’t hurt or surprise him anymore.  I think he’s right there with Miller in being surprised that Eros hadn’t happened sooner.

I think there are really only two ways to hurt Amos at this point - if you’re someone he trusts and you don’t return that trust (remember when he realized Naomi was afraid of him?).  Or the thought of a child being put through what he went through is probably painful to him.

The one time he gets emotional in this convo is when he’s talking about getting Mei back to her father.

“…and she disappears.  I’d like to do that for her,” Amos said.  His voice caught for a moment, and he cleared it with a loud cough.  “For her dad.”

I think Amos admires Prax.  I think he looks at him and sees what it’s like to have a parent that cares.  I don’t know if his mother cared, she died when he was young.  And I’m not gonna touch Lydia here because wow this is already a mile long lmao.  What I do know is no one cared enough to save him, to protect him.  They fed him to the same monster that twisted them and spit them out.

But here comes Prax.  He’s desperate to find Mei.  He’s dying of starvation and the only thing he cares about is finding her, including giving up food to another for clues about her whereabouts.  I mean, how do you not admire that?  So I think Amos wants to save Mei for Prax.  Because he’s a father that deserves to see his daughter again.  I am also willing to bet that Prax’s devotion to his child makes him happy for Mei. And hella determined to protect her from the same fate he suffered.

That scene just fucked me all the way up and I needed to say a few things about it. XD

the friendship of jack zimmermann and shitty knight

I know we talk a lot about how much Shitty helps Jack (constantly defending him, encouraging him to be himself, showing him how to have fun) and believe me, I agree with all of it (I am currently working on a freshmen year jack and shitty friendship fic) BUT may I also present: 

Headcanons on How Jack is Just What Shitty Needed:

  • So Shitty went to Andover, which context clues/google tells me is a fancy boarding school for fancy, rich people. And we also know Shitty is… Shitty. Of all the boys, I feel like he fits in with the Andover crowd the least
  • And I’m sure some of that is rebellion against the school after the fact (I went to an all-girls catholic school so rebelling after the fact is in my lifeblood) but the signs must have been there while Shitty was still attending. He chose to go to Samwell for a reason so we can assume that even in high school, Shitty did not 100% fit with the Andover crowd. 
  • He’s not unpopular, because Shitty is loud and friendly and plays hockey but I’m not sure Shitty had any super close friends. The smart kids are a little bit jealous that he never seems to do any work and most of the hockey team isn’t keeping up with his questioning musings on sexuality and gender and he is probably known as that kid who gets in fights with the teachers all the time and Shitty doesn’t go to Harvard for many reasons: because he doesn’t want to and because fuck his dad and his dad’s family, but also because… he wants to meet different types of people. Because he doesn’t really fit in at Andover. And he never really wanted to.
  • So he goes to Samwell and he doesn’t get a hockey scholarship but he is allowed to walk on the team and suddenly he finds himself living across the hall from Jack Zimmermann. Who Shitty of course knows about. Because he grew up in Boston. And he plays hockey. And he loves hockey.
  • But he does not imagine he will be that close with Jack Zimmermann. Because, honestly, at this point, Shitty can’t imagine being that close with anyone. His friends at Andover put up with him (or at least, they at least pretended to listen to him for part of the time before talking over him or telling him to cmon, man, shut the fuck up!) and Shitty could share a few laughs with them but in terms of connecting well… 
  • (Just please, please imagine slightly insecure but has convinced himself he’s fine young baby 17 year old Shitty Knight. But like… not even insecure just he probably doesn’t even realize that real friendship is out there. maybe he has a small inkling that this isn’t how friends treat each other but not really and i am going to need to think about this more. baby shitty. who knew.)
  • ANYway, the one thing Shitty does know how to do well and does love doing is getting into fights (god, young shitty was probably almost like Dex in this regard). So it’s natural that when someone says a sly, stupid comment about overdosing to Jack, Shitty jumps on ‘em. Because fuck you, sir and he has been looking for a fight since he arrived and–
  • Okay, I promised myself I would keep this focused on how Shitty needs Jack so let’s skip forward to the moment when Shitty realizes that Jack listens to him. Like ever since the outstanding defense move, Jack has opted to sit near Shitty and Shitty feels a warm glow of something at that (and, later, he will recognize this as claiming his role as Defender of Jack Zimmermann against All Evil) and at first they work because Jack is pretty much silent and Shitty never really stops talking and Shitty figures that is his role. To talk while Jack Zimmermann thinks about hockey.
  • But then one day at breakfast, Shitty is talking about his Intro to Women’s Studies class and the studies about how the idea that “boys are better at science and math” is a learned behavior, and Jack is sitting next to him, as usual, and then– “Hold up,” Jack says. “I have to go get more eggs.” and for a moment, Shitty is completely confused as to why Jack told him that information because he is more than used to people walking away from him mid-ramble and so he sort of watches as Jack leaves and wonders what is wrong and then Jack returns and doesn’t look up from his food but says something like “Okay, sorry, so girls want to be doctors, eh?” and Shitty realizes that Jack has been listening this whole time

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anonymous asked:

How is censorship in Norway for television? I mean is it a big deal that Tarjei said fy faen at Gullruten? I hope it's not. It's ridiculous how in the US, they're so wired up if someone says fuck on national television.

Hahaha not at all. Fy faen is barely a curse word it seems, on radio, tv, everywhere. It’s not a big deal at all. But it’s really cute that Tarjei apologised! He did say above average the amount of curse words in a speech but nobody would’ve reacted even if he hadn’t apologised

if i had to continue LHM for the next chapter, this would be it

Request: none lmao

Warnings: actually, none.

Tags: @midnightokieriete // @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2

Time Period: who knows

Notes: 
my name is jenna
i am an artist
i wrote this lame fic just to show it
and i hope you got this in time
for your birthday where you hopefully didn’t have to read this rhyme
i’m currently dying and really really tired
i should be awake but I’m just a little wired
you’re going do great on your all of your finals
just remember to take a break and just don’t spiral

i’m sorry that was dumb ignore me and my dumb rhyming attempts (also happy birthday!) (again!)

_______________________________________________________________________

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</3

The “missing you” has faded
into a dull but constant ache,
and life is only blurry enough
to question whether I’m awake,
I eat, I sleep, I breathe,
and wonder how long it will take,
–to purge the pain,
–re-wire my brain,
and recover from the break.

Rae Buxx (rae-writes), </3

New Plan part 4

Megamind/Roxanne

M rating, pre-movie AU

Since Megamind made Roxanne miss her appointment to get her hair trimmed, it’s his fault that her hair keeps falling in her face. And since her hands are tied, it’s not like she can pin her hair back herself. So obviously, as she points out, it’s Megamind’s responsibility to do it for her…which would be a dream come true, if he could just. figure out. how to work a bobby pin…

AO3  |  FFN


“—okay, if you’ll just—hold this piece here,” Megamind says, and Roxanne, her shoulder pressed to his as they work on the Cumulus Accumulator, does as he directs, holding the gear out of the way so he can finish re-wiring the final portion of the new evaporative cooler.

He twists the last wire into place.

“Aaand—let go gently—”

Roxanne releases the gear carefully; it slips back into place.

“—there,” he says.

“Is that it?” Roxanne asks.

She turns towards him, her shoulder still leaning against his, and he turns his head towards hers, their noses almost brushing.

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