re naming nearly gave me a heart attack


Detective Tanner: Rajan Patel, I am placing you under arrest for the crime of tax evasion. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used- oh. Whoops. You’re not Rajan Patel.

Roy: No, I’m not. My name’s Roy Goddard. I’m just a houseguest of his from Bridgeport. Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack- 

Detective Tanner: Do you know where we might be able to find Mr Patel?

Roy: All I know is his bedroom’s somewhere on this floor. Don’t you think all this is a bit excessive for a tax evasion charge, for Christ’s sake? Anybody would think that he was wanted for murder-

Detective Tanner: Listen, Mr City Slicker. We don’t get to see much action in such a small sleepy town. So you’ll have to excuse us for if we get a bit….over-zealous when something a bit more exciting than shop-lifting or jay-walking lands on our desks. Cut us some slack, okay?  

She gives him a supercilious look then jerks her head towards the door. They dash back out and Roy sinks onto the bed, his legs feeling like they’ve been drained of blood. It’s silent for about 90 seconds. Then he hears distant screaming. There is shouting, and more shrieks. He continues to sit, unsure of what to do. About ten minutes later his bedroom door flies open. He jumps to his feet. 

Naomi: Roy! Roy! They’ve taken Raj! 

Roy: Now, calm down. I’m sure it’s all a big mistake. Do you know the number of Raj’s solicitor?

Naomi: Oh, Roy. It’s no good. They said they’ve arrested him too! Oh, God- 

Roy: What? Shit. Okay, let me think what else-  

Naomi: Hold me, Roy. I just need to be held.

Roy: Okay, yep. That was totally going to be my next suggestion.