re inanimate

imagine 2017!Enchanted Objects seeing Beast dying.

Unlike in the 1991 Disney movie, in the 2017 Beauty and the Beast the servants never actually saw the Beast dying or Belle crying over him and saying “I love you”. When they turned inanimate, as far as they knew, Belle didn’t come back after all. The castle battle was over, and suddenly they’re all turning inanimate, without ever knowing if Belle came back or reunited with the Beast. But what if they—and let’s go with Cogsworth, Lumiere, and Mrs Potts because they were the ones who saw the whole thing in the ’91 movie—had witnessed the Beast’s death and Belle’s confession of love like in the ’91 animated version? Gonna have Plumette in this too (unlike ’91) because she could never leave Lumiere, and especially not in her final moments.

–You hear that? That was the sound of four hearts breaking at once (if they still had hearts) when the Beast says “It’s my turn to leave.” And knowing full well it’s their turn to leave too, if the last petal falls.

–Imagine them all turning to see the last petal had fallen, and nothing has happened. It is too late.

–Imagine them all still becoming inanimate one by one, and Lumiere panicking because Belle had already confessed her love to the Beast, and yet they’re still turning inanimate OH GOD IT’S NOT WORKING WHY IS IT NOT WORKING. PLUMETTE, OH MY DARLING PLUMETTE.

–Cogsworth thinking that even true love still wasn’t enough to save the day, because look, Plumette has become inanimate anyway and the Beast has died. “I knew it,” he whispers under his breath, so only he can hear his own words. “We were fools.”

–Mrs Potts fading away, her only regret being she couldn’t say goodbye to Chip as well.

–Cogsworth turning to Lumiere like in the 2017 movie, and gasps out his last words as he does in the live action “It has been an honour to serve with you.”

–Lumiere knowing he is now the last soul alive—he just KNOWS it—and he whispers to Cogsworth as much as to Belle and the Beast, taking one last final little bow, candelabra hand over heart, “the honour was mine, mon amis.” Not “ami”. “AMIS.” Plural. Friends. They’re ALL his friends. Everyone is his friend, including Belle.

–Agathe overhearing Belle’s confession of love, but also seeing that there’s three of his servants too. When she does her magic to lift the curse, she’s sure to have his three most loyal servants turn back to human at the same time too. Even she doesn’t want him to see his servants in inanimate form, because she can empathise with how much it would hurt him.

–The servants all becoming human again in time to see the Beast is, well, no longer a Beast. All are equally astonished to see he has been returned to full humanness again, along with themselves.

–Lumiere pulling Plumette out of her pile of feathers as outside on the balcony, Belle and Prince Adam share a long-awaited first kiss. Of course Lumiere naturally shares a heartfelt kiss with Plumette, a quick one, to be sure, but no less heartfelt, no less desperately desired.

–The prince finally spotting them, and Lumiere is the first to greet him with a bow and flourish. “My prince!” And of course that “hello old friend!” “It’s so good to see you!” exchange with the tight hug.

–Cogsworth bowing to the prince, “True love really does save the day after all, it appears.”

–Mrs Potts wordlessly hugging the prince, who gives her a tight hug in return. The Prince asking her where Chip is, only for Chip to arrive—fully human again—to everyone’s relief and joy. But no one is more joyous and relieved than Mrs Potts to see him as a little boy again.

Sapphie Meets her Idol

July 2017, USA

Greetings Sapphic friends! You can call me Em. I’m 29 years old of age, and if you get that reference, you know why I’m here. I fully blame Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, and the Brittana fandom for unleashing my inner gay. And because sapphic Tumblr is basically the Hotel California, when Glee was done I stayed for the Shoot, the Cophine, and most importantly, the brilliant sapphic ladies who helped me along on my journey. It felt like we were all in this together… like a sisterhood, you might say.

And so, at one sleepless 4 in the morning, I thought… “there needs to be a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants… but like… gay.” After some reassurance from my sapphic Tumblr tribe that this was, in fact, a great idea, plus some discussion re: what sort of inanimate gay object would make a good travel buddy, Sapphie the First was born!

Sapphie the First and I had a great time together. She helped me play my ukulele for the very first time, got to express her artistic side by painting Halloween pumpkins, and helped me with some other crafting projects. She then went on her merry way to meet my wonderful friend from college, Heather. From there, she went to meet a lovely young lady who was on her way home to India. Sapphie the First went in her suitcase, and I guess that suitcase must have been both very gay and very enthusiastic, because she decided to take Sapphie on her own adventure. We never heard from either of them ever again, so I’m assuming they are off in the Himalayas somewhere, meditating and taking in nature.

We waited a number of months to make absolutely sure Sapphie the First was on a permanent meditation retreat. Once we got confirmation, Sapphie the Second (heretofore referred to as Sapphie) was born!

Sapphie’s first adventure with me was a very gay adventure. That’s right, you guessed it: we went to go see Wonder Woman!

(Clearly General Antiope was impressed with Sapphie!)

Listen, friends. I had been hearing tales of sapphics ascending to new levels of gay when seeing this movie. I could not have anticipated just how true this would be. What is it about fierce, strong, beautiful women in battle that just makes everything turn rainbow??

Overwhelming gayness aside, Wonder Woman is now a favorite of both of ours. It’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s empowering. Diana is inarguably both adorable and awe-inspiring, Etta is a treasure, and the Amazons deserve an entire prequel just about them. After seeing this movie, Sapphie and I felt like we could take on the world! Which is why, two days later, we went to go see it AGAIN

After our second and equally awesome viewing of Wonder Woman, we went on an adventure to the craft store. I got some embroidery floss to make my brother a Ravenclaw bookmark, and Sapphie had lots of fun meeting the baby rainbows!

Sapphie’s next big adventure was big first for me: fireworks! I hadn’t been in years, and was so excited to finally celebrate the 4th of July by watching the bright, beautiful lights. We watched from our camping chairs in a parking lot, and the show was magnificent! Fireworks have definitely upped their game since the last time I saw them. My favorites were the gold ones whose sparkles lingered in the background long after the other colors disappeared. Sapphie loved it when there were as many colors as possible in the sky!

I’d planned to send Sapphie along on her next journey after that, but then, something amazing happened… I found out that Heather Morris was going to be on tour with Dancing with the Stars. In my city. Read: I had the chance to see Heather Morris dancing live and in person. As a former dancer and forever Brittana fan, I brought this to my mom’s attention immediately. As a former (sane) dance mom who appreciated Heather’s dancing as much as I did (we are both still salty about her early elimination from DWTS), she encouraged my immediate purchasing of tickets.

Oh, but it gets better. At this point, the tour was mostly sold out. The only seats we could get together were VIP tickets… tickets that included a photo opportunity with select dancers on the tour. Meaning, not only would I get to see Heather Morris dance live and in person and very close… I might actually get to see her face to face.

Show day came, and Sapphie and I both felt ready to go into orbit. Sapphie continually reminded me that Heather is half the reason she exists, while I had to continually remind both of us to breathe. There wasn’t much to do before the meet and greet, but we had fun talking to other fans, imagining what the show was going to be like, and taking pictures.

Finally, they started calling people up to the line for photos. It was somewhat awkwardly placed in a separate room, so we had no idea who was going to be there until two women we’d been talking to came back from their photo. They named four people. Heather was one of them.

And then I died.

Thankfully, I managed to restart my heart when it was our turn to get in line. I felt like I might go into orbit yet again, so I tried to chill by mentally rehearsing what I would say to everyone once we were let through the doors. I’m glad I did this, otherwise I probably would have gone mute when I met Heather’s strikingly blue eyes from across the room.

Listen, ladies. She. Is. So. Beautiful. She’s lovely on TV, but in person? Wow.

She is also much tinier in person. I was expecting to have to look way up to speak to her, but I didn’t! She said, “Nice to meet you,” and stuck out her hand to greet me. I shook her hand and asked if I could hug her, and she gave me a hug and asked my name. Sapphie was zooming around joyfully in my pocket the whole time. I greeted the other dancers and then stood next to Heather for the photo. Sapphie was in the pocket right next to her, putting on her best smile!

The show itself was a lot of fun. In the second number of the show, Heather did a fun jive with a hip hop break in the middle. It was only about 4 counts of 8, but it was the best 4 counts of 8 in the entire show. She was so confident and powerful and cool, and I swear to Wonder Woman it was impossible to see anything else in the theatre she was shining so brightly. It was incredible. Wow wow wow. My jaw is still on the floor as I write this. Sapphie almost lost her clouds over it. A. Freaking. Mazing.

The next day was Sunday, so Sapphie couldn’t fly away to her next friend just yet. Instead, she helped me work on my crochet blanket. I’m making one hexagon for each day: the color of the hexagon corresponds to the outdoor temperature, and special days have beads on them. Sapphie helped me make hexagons for Wonder Woman, the fireworks, and Dancing With the Stars! It was a lot of work to do all at once… luckily, some friends swooped in to help her:

We had a little pep talk about all the adventures she was going to have, and then Sapphie got tucked into an envelope for her long journey. The next morning she was off to the east coast! I’m so excited to see what her travels bring :) Thank you everyone for being a part of this!

Love and rainbows,

Em

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Want to be a part of the Sisterhood? Read Sapphie’s Travel Guide and sign up! :)

themysteriousinternetentity  asked:

Any advice on how to proceed with the blood fued I declared for myself and my descendants against cherry poptarts?

i would ask you why you hate the love that is cherry poptarts, but everyone’s got their tastes. blood feuds with inanimate objects are always tricky, especially when they’re inanimate objects produced by megacorporations. i think your time would be much better spent raging against kellogs by supporting their competitors and shunning all kellogs products. make sure you’ve told your friends and family about the evils of kellogs. start a smear campaign. take the next fifty years of your life making your mission to bury kellogs. start your own cereal brand, rise above them, take all their market shares, and salt the earth of the factories. at least that’s how the russians would do it.

but then you’ve gotta ask yourself where does the feud end? do you hate cherry poptarts enough to take out all the other poptarts? what about corn flakes and frost flakes? all breakfast cereals everywhere? sometimes you’ve just gotta let it go

anonymous asked:

i dont know yalls opinions of inanimate kins but i hope you wouldnt mind doing an aesthetic for a rose quartz kin (not the su char like actual rose quartz) w pink and flowers

we’re totally cool with inanimate kins! I’ve queued it! -sparrow

You have no idea how good it felt to sit down and write, just let it all flow, get angry… THIS is why I love songwriting, why it’s a part of me no one can take away no matter where I end up going, what I end up doing.

So I have a new song just in time for UMS next weekend, and it feels so good. Thank you Gertrude for being my friend (even if you couldn’t really run away if you wanted to because you’re an inanimate object) and to my handy dandy loop pedal for riffing while I wrote. I’m seriously so excited to share this one y'all. See you next Sunday at South Broadway Church!

Astral Plane

Okay, so I’ve just seen (several times) the new episode of AT, ‘Astral Plane’ and I’ve got to say, aside from a sweet follow up of Evergreen with the twinkling comet now actually playing a part, I now have a lot of questions in my head. Firstly, with the fact it’s showing the comet is in fact some sort of ship, was one of Finn’s past lives as a pilot rather than as a comet? (I know Finn thought he was a comet in ‘The Vault’, but this could be an error for he also mistook himself for being a tiger, before he saw Shoko). 

I feel like this actually is a bigger point, implying now that Finn is an agent of change in many of his past lives, as from what Glob (I think) said:

“Every 1000 years the catalyst comet mysteriously reincarnates itself and strikes the earth bringing with it an agent of change.”

As Shoko, Finn stole PB’s amulet which was clearly of some great power but the implication behind PB not having the amulet wasn’t clear since she’s been without it for so long (?) but I assume this must have had some impact on PB to one extent or another.

Finn “as himself” has impacted Ooh massively, aside from almost everyone knowing him,  he (and Jake) have stopped the Lich on several occasions, destroyed the citadel freeing the cosmic criminals, reverted the Lich to a (presumably tho unproven) harmless state and revived Prismo as well as messing with the space-time continuum enough to create his own body-duplicate sword which is himself (yea, this was mostly Prismo’s doing, but I doubt the sword was) as well as countless other good-karma-points-earning actions lol.

Now leads me to the other point, Martin (Finn’s dad) inside the comet/spaceship which I’m inclined to believe he hijacked which would explain why the comet was not ‘on time’ and why it was ‘off course’:

“But it’s never been so off schedule and it’s never hit freaking Mars,”

I can’t help thinking it’s implied Martin intended to hit Mars for the way he asked the computer what they hit and his reaction when he saw they were on another collision for earth. 

So why did Martin want to wipe out Mars?

[submitted by DirectionOfTime]

Re: was Finn a comet or the pilot of a comet? We can’t say for sure. In The Vault, when we get a glimpse of Finn’s life as a comet, he directly says “I was a comet.” So you wouldn’t be inclined to believe he piloted a comet, particularly considering he was also a pink blob.

But, like you said, his grasp of even his life as Shoko isn’t something you can trust 100%, His dialog confused some viewers when we first got to Shoko’s flashback and he said “I was her, except she was a chubby tiger. No, no, no. Wait, wait wait. She was RIDING a tiger.”

So if his first statement about being Shoko was wrong, his first judgment about being a comet could be wrong. He could’ve been a pilot. It’d be a mistake to suppose that every comet is a spaceship. Good spaceships don’t crash. But most comets are also inanimate. So.

Re: Finn as an agent of change. I dunno, man. What’d he do as a butterfly? We just don’t know. There’s no guarantee Finn comet was Tetra-G’s ‘agent of change’ comet or that it had anything to do with Earth, though we’d be inclined to believe it is and does, because that is narratively significant. But Finn always being an agent of change isn’t a huge plot point from here til the end of the series unless he dies and is reincarnated, because, as you said, his current incarnation totally is an agent of change and we know that.

And so far as Martin wanting to hit Mars… that bit’s trickier. We can’t say for sure that he wouldn’t’ve slowed and landed normally - maybe he’s off-course in the first place? - but we don’t THINK he’d ever have made it his point to ram his spaceship into Mars and wipe it out. That being said, the Tetra-G collision took out his computers and he IS on an implied crash course with Earth.