rdjwhatareyourlifechoices

ROBERT.  

SOMEHOW in your NOT QUITE INFINITE WISDOM you have elected to wear a black tie with a fucking PINK PALM TREE on it.  

WHAT IS THIS CHOICE.

and compounded within this REALLY VERY TERRIFYING LOOK is also a suit that is VAGUELY PLAID-LIKE IN NATURE and also somewhat brown.

NO.

JUST NO.

the suit might have been acceptable in other circumstances.

please create a bonfire and burn the fuck out of that heinous tie.

ROBERT.

I am really glad that this gif is only the top half of your torso

because really

what are those patterns.

omg I can’t even look at you right now because you are wearing a maroon-and-light-blue halfmoons shirt WITH THAT SAME HIDEOUS TIE I have posted about at least twice already.

what are you doing with your life.

ROBERT.

this is a list of things you are wearing.
• sweatpants
• a bright fucking red grandpa cardigan
• a turquoise BUCKET hat
•  yellow fucking aviator shades
• an Ironman tshirt (which really, what? also, yes, it really is an ironman tshirt, I did a research.)
• WHICH IS PINK. 

I honestly just don’t even know where to start.

the ONLY redeemable aspects of this outfit are the cardigan and the shades.

you’d probably wear the shades with a fucking banana yellow suit anyway.

ROBERT.

the girl on your tshirt looks awkwardly exactly like the girl you fucked in the first like fifteen minutes of iron man.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY HERE

do you make tshirts with the faces of all your fucking conquests on them because I’m pretty sure that there isn’t enough fucking room in your house

also that is possibly the least classy thing I have ever heard. or well imagined.

OH WAIT I forgot for a minute that you’re not tony stark. still pretty fucking weird.

also ARE YOU A SCIENCE TEACHER NOW WHAT ARE YOUR GLASSES. we all know you have a bromance with bruce but you don’t have to steal his glasses, that’s sketchy.

oh I forgot again you aren’t tony stark.

ACTUALLY I THINK THAT WAS A THING YOU FORGOT.

ROBERT.

you are wearing at least two different shades of grey.  one of them is a warm grey. the other is a cool (and slightly plaidish which is furthermore also hideous) grey.

this does not work.

this will never work.

you should stop trying.

furthermore you are wearing a green tie with a pink shirt and red sunglasses.  none of these colors go together. at all.  what the fuck were you thinking.

also scarlett looks lovely and I was too lazy to find a picture of this outfit on its own what?

ROBERT.

you look like a fucking vanilla ice cream cone that’s been bastardized by some evil licorice coating.  I mean I honestly can’t think of any other way to describe it.  why. have you chosen to wear. all white.  are you a bride.

also your shirt has thumbholes.  those were for skaters in the 90’s. 

also your wife looks lovely

although I think you guys tried maybe a little too hard to match.